ü75 Request

Much like TFA yesterday, I need your help with something soccer-related and German. You see, I just found out that the club I barely pull for--Schalke 04--will hire Oliver Khan as their new manager.

Since I cannot stand that man in any fashion, I will have to drop my slight allegiance to the Gelsenkirchen club. Therefore, I need a new Bundesliga club to pull for. A quick substitute would have been St. Pauli, but they will not be making the top flight any time soon. And while we were on the Hoff bandwagon earlier, the wheels have fallen off there.

So I need suggestions. Put 'em in the comments and let's see if we can work this out together.

This has been a ü75 request.

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Bundesliga Watch

You know, the post title would be much better if this were Switzerland, but what can you do? Since it is undoubtedly Germany Day here on UF (on Armistice Day, no less), with one, two, three stories so far, why not add another one? A quick look at the woefully-ignored-by-us Bundesliga thus far will do nicely, I think.

The story, so far, tn Germany is undoubtedly that of TSG Hoffenheim. The small-town club (and I do mean small--population 3000) is in its first season in the Bundesliga and acquitting themselves quite nicely. How nicely? Well, until a 1-0 loss at Hertha Berlin this weekend, the team was in first place. That's pretty damn swell, I think. This is not your usual small club, though. They are backed financially by Dietmar Hopp, one of the founders of SAP. Hopp used to play for the youth side of Hoffenheim, and has used his billions to build the squad up. As it stands, this is a very international club now, with players from nine countries on the squad, including three cherished Brazilians. This season is a transition season for the club, as they are moving out of their former 5000-seat stadium into a newly-built 30,000 seater. What remains to be seen is if the club can fill those seats when the newness of the Bundesliga wears off.

Sitting atop the Bundesliga at this point is Landycake's former club, Bayer Leverkusen. Leverkusen hold the slightest of leads at this point, being even on points with Hoffenheim, while holding a one goal better goal diffential. Since Hoffenheim are also the top scoring team in the league, this is a tight race. Leverkusen ascended to the top after a scrappy 3-3 draw with Karlsruhe on Saturday. High scoring games are not the norm for Leverkusen, as their four previous results had been 2-0 wins since an early October 1-0 loss to . . . Hertha Berlin. Head to head with Hoffenheim, however, Leverkusen hold the advantage having topped the small club 5-2 in the season's third week. There is also a big match upcoming with perennial favorites Bayern Munich in three week's time.

Bayern Munich sit third in the table, one point behind the top two. They must be considered the hot team right now, having run off 19 points in the last seven matches since a disappointing 2-2-2 start. Whereas Jurgen Klinsmann was probably on the early hot seat before, the team is looking much more solid now. Klinsi's big question right now must be why the hell he would care about bringing in Donovan. He is replete with attacking options to the point of Lukas Podolski--the Pole transplant who starts and scores copiously for the German national side--cannot be considered a starter for his club team. Tough times are ahead for the American.

Through the middle of the table, there are some weird issues with team's records and their goal differentials. Fourth-place Hamburg have a 7-2-3 record, but have an even goal differential despite the four more wins than losses. The fact that all three of their losses have been 3-0 definitely plays into that. On the other hand, there is Werder Bremen. This is an up and own team who, despite holding a 4-5-3 record, have a +5 GD, which leaved them 10th in the 18 team Bundesliga. It must be because they can pump in the goals at times, having put up 5 against Hoffenheim (5-4), Bayern (5-2, away!) and Hertha (5-1).

What of this Hertha team that keeps getting mentioned? They sit 5th currently, four points behind the leaders. Between 5th and 11th is pretty hotly contested with Schalke, Wolfsburg, Koln, Borussia Dortmund, and Stuttgart joining Werder and Hertha therein.

From Stuttgart, there is a gap to the third tier of the Bundesliga. Four points separate the 2007 champs from 12th place Eintracht Frankfurt who in turn hold a one point lead over Hannover 96. Borussia Moenchengladbach and Karlruhe sit a little further back in the last safe spots.

Sixteenth place in the Bundesliga goes into a two-leg playoff against the third-placed team from 2.Bundesliga. Currently, the 16th place team is VfL Bochum. The final two spots in the table are held by the woefully out of form sides Arminia Bielefeld and Energie Cottbus. When it comes down to it, Bielefeld has the better chance of surviving, while Cottbus have the look of EPL's Derby County last season. They have one win against eight losses with three draws. Who did that win come against? Hertha, of course. Who else?

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Mark Van Bommel Tells The Ref How He Really Feels

I woke up Sunday morning and caught the end of the Carling Cup, which was thrilling in so much as Chelsea lost to Tottenham in extra time, but after that I didn't have anything else to do. I already had masturbated to the Lindsay Lohan pics (NSFW). So, in perusing my channel guide I found the Bayern Munich - Hamburg SV going into extra time knotted at 1-1.

The match ended at 1-1, which is not noteworthy nor entertaining, but there was still some quality entertainment thanks to Bayern's Mark Van Bommel. Hit the video after the jump.

1-1 Bayern Munich vs. Hamburger SV Goals & Red Card
Uploaded by 90tsunni

I've got to hand it to Van Bommel; that was a great way to be sent off. Frequently, you don't get the opportunity to really tell the ref how you feel about him. First, he went with the always great sarcastic clap for the ref's decision right in his face. Great style points and quite communicative of his true feelings.

The real kicker though was the childish antics of continuing to mouth off as the ref turns away and then the behind the back eff-you gesture right as the ref turns back to award a second yellow. I did that once to my mother when I was young and bratty. I got a good whooping for that.

I was quite impressed, and I'm not sure if it deserves positive or negative points, with the swift and industrious manner in which Van Bommel left the pitch. It took only a matter of seconds. He knew he was gone and just jogged right off the pitch. It was the antithesis of a Chelsea send-off. In any other league, Van Bommel would have continued to argue, John Terry would berate the ref and try to grab the card , and Van Bommel would take his sweet time sauntering off.

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