Tomas Ujfalusi has a hooker problem + UPDATE

You can clearly see he's blocked up. Give him a break, CFA!

Atletico Madrid defender and Czech Republic captain Tomas Ujfalusi has endured a difficult season at the international level. With just 3 games left to qualify for WC 2010, they're sitting 4th in their group behind Northern Ireland (!), Poland and Slovakia, and their chances of turning it around are slim.

Coach Petr Rada and his entire management staff have already felt the burn, being fired en masse by the Czech Football Association, and now Ujfalusi is under the cosh too, along with 6 other senior players.

It's not for poor form, mind you; it's for being caught with prostitutes.

(be forewarned: mildly NSFW pic after the jump)

Two Czech tabloids published the pictures of the lads cavorting with ladies of the night, and as part of the radical overhaul, the CFA decided to gut the entire team as well as management for their transgressions. Guess this will help them qualify now, right? No manager and a team full of new faces?

From the article:

The sacked players are Atletico Madrid defender Tomas Ujfalusi, Galatasaray striker Milan Baros, West Ham defender Radoslav Kovac, Frankfurt striker Martin Fenin, Reading midfielder Marek Matejovsky and Sochaux striker Vaclav Sverkos.

The decision does not necessarily mean a lifetime ban for the players - it will be up to the new coach to decide on their nomination in the future, the association said.

You can imagine that few of 'em would not want to come back after such a scandal and public humiliation. Ujfalusi is already announcing retirement from international football after his disgrace, though choosing to denounce the team's current form as the main reason for his decision.

Tomas Ujfalusi: no stranger to the naked arts

Personally, I think the CFA is off their rocker. Maybe they're taking their cue from the Scots and their lifetime bans for their former captain, but the whole thing reeks of desperation. Failure to impress in qualifying already led them to toss out their entire management structure, so why not use it as a good time to cast off the deadwood too?

Anyway, those of you thinking of betting on the Czechs for WC2010 should apply their money elsewhere. I think they're content to wait another four years for their turn.

In the meantime, he and his teammates should take the Arctic Monkeys' advice when it comes to hookers:



UPDATE
Oh, and the best part? Ujfalusi's been in trouble for this before! I guess it's just how the Czechs roll.

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The Good, The Bad, The WTF: Euro 2008 Edition

This post, my friends is going to be a mess. As long as you know that going in, we'll all be okay. Inside, we will break down each competing country's home and away jersey and file it into the categories Good, Bad and WTF. Pretty simple, huh?
For ease of my poorly HTMLing soul, I will only provide links to each shirt instead of trying to force them all into the Blogger template. Trust me, if you've seen how Blogger can mangle posts by screwing up pictures, this is a good thing.

Onwards and upwards, my friends. Here we go.

Group A
Switzerland Home Away Switzerland wear Puma jerseys. In what will quickly become a theme in this post, Puma jerseys all look cookie-cutter. They have a template, switch colors where necessary, and affix the necessary badges. Boring. What I like about the Swiss shirt is the badge. That kind of artsy rendering of their national association where they also fit in the white cross. However, these are Puma jerseys, so the verdict is:
Home and Away: Bad
Czech Republic Home Away Plain. Boring. Go home. I do like the blue piping on the home shirt, and the Czech badge is one of the more interesting entries, full of history, for those into that. But it is simply not enough to overcome the crappiness of being a Puma shirt.
Home and Away: Bad
Portugal Home Away There is something wrong with the Portugal home shirt. We here at UF could not quite put our finger on it, but we hate it. It could be the wrong hue, or it could just be the too tight fit. We hated it all the same. On the other hand, we were much more sympathetic to the white shirt. It looks a lot better, but, in the end, we found it a little plain.
Home and Away: Bad
Turkey Home Away Now we're talking. It may still be a hangover from their unbelievable victory over the Czechs on Sunday, but these are both very nice shirts. The home shirt can look a little like a 'Boro effort, I'm sure, but it dazzles nonetheless. And that away shirt, my goodness. Two teams made solid use of baby blue accents this tournament, and Turkey is one of them.
Home and Away: Good

Group B
Austria Home Away A mixed bag. Once again, we are stuck with Puma templates, but Austria does something a little right here. It's not in the home shirt, really, though it should rate a "meh" instead of its final grade. The winner here is the away shirt. Menacingly black with a little flag flair thrown in at the collar.
Home: Bad; Away: Good
Croatia Home Away Did we even get to see the all-checkerboard shirt yet? I don't recall. You have to give them respect for sticking with such and irritating-to-the-eyes shirt for all of these years. As for the blue away shirt, man, I don't know. And for that, it perfectly fits the WTF category. Safe to say I would not want to sport either one of these walking around my town.
Home and Away: WTF?
Germany Home Away Poor Germany. Forever saddled with a white shirt that they are not entirely happy with, so they fuck around with it. This year's entry feels unbalanced. Too much black in the striping, not enough red or yellow. At least it keeps us away from the away shirt. Seriously, this is not a look for top tier international football. This is a training top. Even though I kind of like the gold stitching on the black background, I hope they never have to wear it.
Home: Bad; Away: WTF?
Poland Home Away Poland, the home of unattractive football. They never looked good playing in the Euros, and these shirts did not help. Blandest of them all.
Home and Away: Bad

Group C
Romania Home Away Romania's shirts this year felt like a throwback to USA '94. Sadly, the team did not perform in the same manner. The worst part of it all is that they totally rip off the New York Cosmos badge. Anyway, 14 years is too soon to do a throwback jersey. Well, I write that, but I can't hate on the home jersey. I like it.
Home: Good; Away: Bad
France Home Away I am not a fan of the extra crap going across the middle of the French home shirt. They do, however, get credit with me by having their flag pop up inside the adidas stripes on the arms. Throw in that nice, newish badge of the rooster and you have a winner. God help me, I like the garish red away shirt as well. Two winners.
Home and Away: Good
Netherlands Home Away The Dutch are always hard to figure out. They have to use that bright orange which pays homage to a royal family line that no one likes. Sometimes they pull it off, and sometimes it is painful. This tournament, they pulled it off, sometimes. The Dutch were the second team to tastefully use Nike's new baby blue accent by pairing the orange shirt with baby blue socks. And it totally worked. However, when they reverted to orange socks yesterday, it all looked horrible. Also, nice try, but you can't work in your flag on the collar without it looking like you won First Grade attendance medals. As for the away shirt, it divides us. But, I'm the one writing here, and I hate it. So, there you go. We do seem to be unified in liking the cyborg numbering though.
Home: Good, with qualifications; Away: WTF?
Italy Home Away Italy stick with the basics. Once again, this is a Puma top, but it's not quite as bad as the red and white ones. This gets a passing grade for the gold at the neck. The away jersey, though, is run of the mill and boring.
Home: Good; Away: Bad

Group D
Spain Home Away I think we were a bit undecided by these. The home jersey is nothing out of the ordinary, but it works well. That light gold away shirt, though, is rather atrocious. Hopefully, Spain will not be required to trot it out on their way to winning this year's tournament.
Home: Good; Away: WTF?
Russia Home Away These had potential, especially the away shirt, but the execution is off. I am all for integrating you nation's flag into the shirt. I don't like it when doing so means that I have to fill in the blanks for you. The white shirt loses the top stripe of the flag and the red shirt loses the bottom stripe of the flag. Why not go with a blue away shirt so that one can easily make out the flag running across the torso? Nike FAIL.
Home: Bad; Away: WTF?
Greece Home Away Thanks for coming and bringing the same kit from 2004. Did you think that would work? Okay, the sublimated flag print on the away shirt is nice, but no dice.
Home and Away: Bad
Sweden Home Away It's always tough to deal with the Swedish shirts. The combo of yellow and blue is a nice one, but they just use too much yellow sometimes. If only I could get a reason to really like a bunch of yellow Swedish shirts. Oh, here's one. The away shirt is a tough one. In some pictures, it looks black, which would be a bold move, but in others it looks navy, which is kind of boring. Still, since Swedish girls will wear them and get pictured in them, they are both winners.
Home and Away: Good

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Euro 2008 Liveblog: Turkey v. Czech Republic

Here it is. The first last day of the tournament. Yes, Group A gets sorted today, and this is the match that will do the sorting. While Portugal takes it easy against the host Swiss on the other side, Turkey take on the Czechs for the second qualifying spot into the next round.

Before we get to the tale of the tape, a quick look should be taken at our Euro 2008 Pick 'em on ESPN.com. At the top of the group, two users who are definitely not UF writers. For shame, us! El Ninos d'Or and Ballack's Bollocks lead the early charge. If this one of these is you, feel free to gloat in the comments. These two have correctly guessed 11 of the first 16 matches. They are closely followed by a group of six with one less correct. Over the next four days, though, I am confident that Joey Barton's Cellmate will rise to the top of the group.

It seems we can't do a live blog (save one) without highlighting the lovely ladies of the competing countries. Today will be no different. After all, it is Father's Day, and these ladies have fathers, so we have to.

Turkey will go first.
This is Gizem Ozdilli. Besides having a snickerable first name, meh.

And for the Czechs, we have Adriana Karembeu
Yes, please. And she is married to former French footballer Christian Karembeu. So, there's that.

Well, it should be pretty obvious who wins this matchup--the girl from the country I picked to win the whole shebang. Join me after the jump to watch me meltdown as the Czechs fail to advance at the first hurdle.

For bonus fun, you can play "Count the Misspellings" in the comments. With these two teams, I'll be sure to make it worth your while.

Turkey's speculative lineup (4-4-2):
Demirel; Altintop, Gungor, Cetin, Balta; Tuncay, Topal, Aurelio, Turan; Senturk, Nihat (C).

And for the Czechs (4-5-1):
Cech; Grygera, Ujfalusi (C), Rozehnal, Jankulovski; Sionko, Polak, Matejovsky, Galasek, Plasil; Koller.

Referee: Peter Frojdfeldt (Sweden)--the guy who did the UEFA Cup final, again.

Interestingly, this game will go to an immediate penalty shoot-out at the end of full-time if the match is tied.

On to the game.

So, another 4-5-1 for the Czechs. I wonder how long that will hold out?

-1.00 Alright, I've had an obscene amount of coffee, started the wash, have a boxful of doughnut holes next to me and an empty house. As long as the cable and internet hold out, let's have some fun.

0.00 Man, I wanted to see Kazim Kazim today. Also, I wanted to see the blue jerseys.

0.00 Hey Turkey, how about figuring out what shoes you want to wear before kick-off? Blatant time-wasting to let the other game get started first.

0.10 The Czechs waste no time on the kick-off attempting to get a shot on goal. Over and wide, though.

2.00 Free kick from the right for the Czechs. two players wide open on the back post, and. . .nothing.

4.00 The Turks seem to be playing for penalties already. A free kick at midfield is taken by their keeper.

5.30 Yellow Card Turkey get the first yellow as Topal fouls Polak in midfield

8.00 Czech Republic are not afraid to shoot today, though nothing is going on net. I was serious about Turkey playing for penalties. Time-wasting at the back seems to be the order of the day. Maybe since it worked for their good friends the Greeks four years ago?

10.00 Yellow Card Um, I didn't see it. Aurelio CetinAurelio goes into the book for Turkey, possibly for getting his elbows up on a header challenge against Koller. for dissent. Since Koller is so tall, Aurelio gets him in the upper back. The resultant free kick leads to a header over the bar.

14.00 Gungor gets a talking to, Camera cuts away before any card shown.

15.00 The ref, who had such high praise from us before, does not want to see Turkey challenge for high headers, it would seem. Every time a Turk goes for the ball, they are deemed to be fouling the (to be fair, perfectly positioned) Czechs.

16.00 I was correct earlier, Aurelio also got a yellow for dissent. Tuncay shoots wide for the Turks.

17.00 Matejovsky shoots weakly from distance, but on net. Keeper covers it easily.

18.00 Another correction. Cetin was not booked, only Aurelio.

22.00 More attacks from the Czechs, but no finishing touches. Turkey still playing rough.

24.00 Actual attacking possession from Turkey. Comes to nothing as they pass it back to the defense.

25.00 Sionko does not miss by much. Aims for the far, upper corner from outside the box and puts it a foot over.

26.00 Aurelio writhes in pain after a tackle from Rozenhal. Gets up without magic spray.

28.00 Turkey are doing a fabulous job at frustrating the Czechs. The whistles have calmed down and Turkey, though not packing the back, are keeping the Czechs from any good attacking moves.

31.00 For two teams with nothing to play for, the other match sounds pretty exciting. Dammit.

32.00 Another Turk on the ground. This time it is Altintop, who took a ball to the ribs. Get up nancy-boy.
(10 seconds pass, play stops for him)
He did.

33.00 So close. Czechs cross in from the left, Sionko tracks it and the keeper smothers.

34.00 Goal! Fuck yeah, the Czechs score. Koller with a header (who'd a thunk it?) off a cross from Grygera. Turkey, the US feels your pain.

36.00 Nihat's corner forces a nice reaction from Cech as he beats Turan to the ball.

38.00 Matejovsky has to be carried off the pitch and substituted after a collision with Tuncay. It didn't look that bad, but Jarolim comes on anyway.

39.00 The goal has aroused the attacking instincts of the Turks. Czechs on the back foot for now.

42.00 Yep. You can't coach tall. Koller has another shot at goal on a long free kick. At goal, not on goal. Over by six feet.

43.00 The Czechs have their attacking verve back. Koller, like Klose, should not be relied on to shoot with his feet, though.

45.00 Hey look the Tigers might have a winning streak going. The Bottom Line always gets me. 2 minutes extra time.

45.00 +3 (Stealing this) Tweet. Tweet. Tweeeeet. Half time.

Czechs came out as the team wanting to win, and got the goal that might do it. The referee calmed down after 20 minutes or so, so Turkey doesn't have as bad a yellow card problem as they looked to in the first 15. Czechs are down a sub already, and tired second-half legs may fail them yet.

Turkey did show flashes of attacking ability after giving up the goal, but were hanging their heads by the half. We should see a pretty open affair in the second half with only one question to be answered.

How long do Turkey wait to pull the goalie?

Oh, and I'm not watching Foudy, sorry.

Shots 9-5 Czechs, 3-2 on goal. Possession is even.

45.00 Sarioglu on for the Turks, Senturk is off.

46.00 Cech is also very tall. Cleans up on a Turk free kick.

47.00 Turks pressing early. Another couple quick chances for them.

50.00 Czechs are definitely backed in, and looking for counterattacking chances, which aren't materializing.

51.00 Perhaps there is a strong wind? The Turks, attacking the goal the Czechs did in the first half, are all over their opponents. Now for their third corner in four minutes.

52.00 "The Czechs have a lot of defending to do here" No shit. Turkish fans are in full voice as Tuncay gets saved by Cech. It's probably time to take Koller off and get someone who is speedier in there.

54.00 On cue, Koller kills a possession with a poor pass.

55.00 Cech cleans up again. The Czechs are playing with eight in the box right now and it is not enough. Turkey must have had some kick-ass coffee over the break.

57.00 Kazim Kazim (Richards) is in! Topal off for the Turks.

58.00 Altintop with a great ball from the right, right across the six-yard box, but the Turk forwards forgot to make runs.

59.00 Some interesting looking Cech fans in the stands. Gungor is down for the Turks. Gets stretchered off.

61.00 Koller gets a breakaway, and left foots the ball three yards wide. Ouch.

62.00 Goal! Plasil comes in from way over on the left to slide in Sionko's cross. Keeper gets a hand to it, but cannot bat the ball out. 2-0

64.00 For looking so bright coming out of the half, the Turks start to look defeated, deflated and chippy. Turan gets a Yellow Card for Turkey. Turkish coach is well-pissed that he was not allowed to substitute for the injured Gungor before the second goal.

66.00 Linesman needs a new flag, or Cialis.

67.00 Czechs, well aware of the hurting Turkey looks to put on them now, are diving to get foul calls.

68.00 Turks go close after the Czech defense tries the always-ineffective "let's all raise our hands" defense. Cech bails them out with his positioning.

Other Game Swiss go up 1-0.

71.00 ESPN, fucking quit it! I don't care about the other game. Polak off the post as ESPN breaks in with the other score.

Polak paid for it on the rebound, as he got his face scraped with studs trying for the header. He will be the second player playing with a headwrap today.

73.00 Yellow Card Asik (the other head-wrapped guy) takes down Rozenhal who was way forward. Very close to being last man back, too.

75.00 Goal! Arda Turan scores after Altintop's cross from the endline dribbles all the way across the box. Arda goes near post, beating Cech with ease 2-1

77.00 Altintop is playing off of his head on the right side.

78.00 Two more great chances for the Turks come from the right. Can the Czechs hold out? They look spent.

79.00 Turkiye! Turkiye! Turkiye!. This match is pulsating, and the crowd is in full voice. Koller still in. Why?

80.00 Yellow Card Galasek for the Czechs. Kadlec on for Plasil.

Other game Another goal for the Swiss.

82.00 Altintop puts the ball right on Cervi's head from two yards out. Cervi glances it wide. I really like this second half Turk squad.

83.00 It's the Czech squad who have started to hack at their opponents. If Galacek did not already have a card, he would have just earned one.

84.00 Vlcek on for Sionko. Koller to play entire match, die of heart attack afterwards.

85.00 Czechs are completely packed in, but the Turks are getting close.

87.00 Goal!!! Cech fumbles a cross (Altintop, natch) at the six yard box and
Nihat pokes it in. I started this game pulling for the Czechs, but dammit, I cheered.

89.00 HOLY SHIT
GOAL!!! Turkey score again. Nihat onside, Czechs try to claim otherwise. Raised arms don't stop attack. Nihat squeezes the ball under the bar. I'm breathless.

90.00 Four minutes added time.

90.00 +2 Red Card Turkish keeper Demirel sent off after making a hash of a clearance. Punched Koller after the ball was out. No subs left. Tuncay in the net. No penalty kick.

90.00 +4 Yellow Card Ufjalusi, I don't know what it was for, I can't keep up.

90.00 +5 Yellow Card Baros, who isn't even on.

90.00 +5 Full Time Give me some time to breathe before I recap.


That's it. I am a full-on Turk supporter for the rest of this tournament.

Just saw another angle on Nihat's second. Fuck me, that was a great shot.

Well, they started the game as negative as could be, but Turkey showed what it takes to win a game from two down in the second half. Altintop is, by far, my man of the match. He abused Czech Republic's left side for the entire second-half.

I can't help but believe that if Baros was in for Koller in the second half, the speedier player could have finished a counter to make it 3-0 at some point. Simply put, Turkey were pressed forward, and Koller did not have the wheels to put them under pressure.

I don't know if I can watch the US game now. I'm almost emotional at how good this game was.

PR-
Red Card whistled for at 1.30 of added time, game restart at 3.15. Added time was 4 minutes, whistle blown at 5.21.

They did lose some time, but also got called for 2 yellow cards in the same time. I think the ref took all of it into account.

I do agree that some more time was warranted, but the Czechs were no longer on the attack.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Finally--The group is done, with Turkey joining Portugal in the second round. Turkey will face Croatia, while Portugal are most likely to see Germany (though Poland and Austria both still have a shot).

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Euro Trash Day 5: "90th minute substitution"

Today we saw our first team eliminated from the tournament, a relegation-style scrum played in a monsoon, and even more off field drama from Portugal. Lets recap, after the jump.

Portugal 3 - Czech Republic 1: Apparently Portugal's team is valued at $600 million dollars, which is absolutely ridiculous to think about. Which probably explains why Roman Abramovich has made it his goal to employ about half of them. This game was kind of scrappy, and Portugal were somewhat flattered by the scoreline. A team with better finishing than the Czechs would have punished some of the mistakes made by PortuChelsea's backline. Botswinga is going to get exposed in England if he doesn't pay a little more attention to his defensive duties. Ronaldo at least put some focus back on the field by netting his first marker of the tournament. Deco and Quaresma scored the other two for the winning side, while Sionko netted one for the Czechs. The soap opera cranked up again, however, when it was announced that Big Phil Scolari is taking over at Chelsea. I'm not sure its a huge distraction, but the timing seems curious. What if Portugal choke again in the latter stages of the tournament? What exactly does timing the announcement today do for Roman, besides keeping his name in the tabloids? Big Phil can ponder what to do with Nicolas Anelka next year at the Bridge over the next few days, as Portugal have qualified for the next round. 

Turkey 2 - Switzerland 1: Due to the downpour, this one was like a dour Bolton - Wigan affair, but was enlivened by a bit of drama at the end. Arda Turan buried one deep into injury time to eliminate the Swiss, exacting a bit of revenge for their elimination in qualification for the last World Cup. No fights today, either. The Turks now face a do or die match with the Czechs in their final game to determine who advances into the next round. 

Linkage: 

Lego football highlights of the Germany Poland game, fan violence not included. 

Ballack gets a bit of service. Hey yo!

Don't let Jim Rome get wind of this. David Villa fractured his finger while hugging Torres in a goal celebration. 

Non Euro 2008 related:

US roster announced for the qualifiers against Barbados. More Adu, less EJ please. 

Beckhams are the cheapest tippers in Hollywood. [via Red Card]

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Euro 2008 Liveblog: Czech Republic v. Portugal

Welcome to the liveblog for the Czech Republic - Portugal match. The first "tale of the tape": models.

Czech Republic models: Demure

Portuguese models: Teases

As for the actual match, join me after the jump for line-ups and live-bloggisms.

The starting roster for the Czech Republic:

GK - Cech
DEF - Grygera, Ujfalusi (C), Rozehnal, Jankulovski
MID - Galasek, Plasil, Polak, Matejovsky, Sionko
ST - Baros

The starting roster for the Iberian Stepovers:

GK - Ricardo
DEF - Bosingwa, Pepe, Carvalho, Ferreira
MID - Petit, Moutinho, Ronaldo, Deco, Simao
ST - Gomes (C)

Things to note: Milan Baros starting up top in place of Jan Koller. Apparently, bald and old is no way to go through life, son.

Other notes: In order to watch the game in HD and live-blog at the same time, I am running things on my laptop, using my wireless network. So, any outages in updates are due to my running upstairs to power-cycle my router. You've been warned.

00:00 - The Czech Republic national anthem is entitled "Where is my home" - that seems a little maudlin.

2 minutes into the live-blog, and the first comment is a masturbation joke. Well done!

00:01 - And we're off!

00:39 - Carvalho with a ball to nowhere that results in a long ball to Baros on the counter. Baros then commits a foul.

02:40 - Baros is already looking lonely up top, although the Czech Republic are getting good pressure.

04:25 - Throw-in for Czechs leads to absolute shite, as the ball goes across the pitch and rolls out. Ronaldo with the throw for Portugal.

07:17 - GOAL! Portugal 1 - Czech Republic 0. Ronaldo dribbles into the box, and Cech makes the save but the ball flits to Deco who megs Jankulovsky to score.

10:07 -Portugal much more energetic after the goal, applying more pressure down the right side of the pitch. They should be - the goal was against the run of the play and Cech almost made the second save.

11:40 - Another Czech attack leads to a poor long ball. They are definitely looking out of form now, despite several attacks.

14:20 - Ronaldo with his first douchebag move, followed by a shot from Petit, which is taken easily by Cech.

15:00 - Baros gets a shot off, but it is high over the bar. Carvalho breathes easy.

15:50 - Sionko tries to play the ball across the goal mouth, but Portugal clears.

16:15 - Czech corner. GOAL! Portugal 1 - Czech Republic 1. Beautiful header by Sionko off the corner. No chance for the keeper.

18:00 - Tommy Smyth describes the goal as "Andy Gray-esque." Insightful.

19:53 - Petit takes his second shot for Portugal, but it is equally shite. Perhaps the holding midfielder is not the best striker in the world?

22:00 - First yellow of the match for Jan Polak (STUPID MISTAKE!) for a challenge from behind. 50/50 on whether a card is warranted, as he got the ball.

23:00 - Ronaldo down the right side of the pitch, and he gets the ball taken away yet again. Despite setting up the goal, he looks positively human.

23:37 - Nice shot from Deco, moving away from the goal. The ball rises up and to the right, not troubling Cech.

24:01 - Ronaldo gets off a nice shot in traffic despite being surrounded by 4 red shirts, but Cech handles it easily.

24:50 - Pepe gets an arm to the mouth in a collision with Baros going for a header.

28:00 - Corner for Czech Republic after Pepe fails to save the ball from going out. The ball comes across the goal after Ricardo completely mistimed his attempt at a clearance, but the Portuguese eventually boot it out.

30:01 - Yellow card for Bosingwa after Portugal is disposessed and Galasek clears the ball.

31:57 - Another poor ball across the pitch from Petit. At this rate, Scolari may flay him alive at half-time.

32:42 - Ronaldo makes a nice run down the left side of the pitch, eventually winning a throw-in. The ball is played back in but Simao fouls Jankulovski, so the ball goes back to the Czechs.

34:38 - Paolo Ferreira plays a nice ball into the 6, but Czech Republic clears and counters. Baros makes some magic and then plays the ball back into the middle, but the attack breaks down.

37:00 - Carvalho commits the foul on Baros, leading to a free kick in a dangerous spot. The ball goes out wide out to Grygara, who cocks it up.

38:20 - After the ball bounces around a bit, Ronaldo receives the ball and is disposessed by Grygara. The ball comes back out to Moutinho, who takes a poor shot that is easily handled by Cech.

40:08 - Corner for Portugal, delivered short by Simao to Deco. The ball is put back in and cleared by Ujfalusi for another corner. The second corner winds up on the opposite side of the pitch and played out by Portugal.

41:17 - Ronaldo with his first great shot at the match. Left-footer from about 23 yards out, and Cech makes a beautiful diving save. The throw-in leads to nothing.

43:11 - Ronaldo receives the ball in the middle of the pitch, but the ball is taken from him. Ronaldo, after a slight touch from Ujfalusi, goes down faster than a Thai hooker for a $5 bill.

44:45 - We are threatened with Rece Davis and Julie Foudy yet again for the halftime "analysis."

45:00 (+00:35) - Matejovsky commits a foul 30 yards out, and this is the last play of the half. Simao and Ronaldo line up over it, and Ronaldo takes it right at Cech, who gobbles it up.

Half-time and lunchtime - Stouffer's French-bread pizza or Chef Boyardee Spaghetti and Meatballs? Also, 6 comments for my first-ever live-blog? We better be up to 110 by the end of the game, or I am going to develop low self-esteem.

Dear Nike: I am not Dutch. Please revise your commercials accordingly.

45:28 - As the second half starts, Tommy Smyth opines on the brilliance of replacing Jan Koller with Milan Baros. Really? You think so, do you?

46:29 - Petit plays the ball into Ronaldo, who is dumped yet again. Naturally, he pouts and puts up his hand to the ref. Tosser.

47:00 - Corner kick for Portugal leads nothing.

47:30 - Czech Republic pushes forward and Sionko pushes the ball across the goal mouth, which Baros barely misses. The resulting corner leads to nothing.

Our resident Chelsea fan, in a bit of irony, questions the fortitude of Czech defender Grygera. I will not make any Ashley Cole comments. I will not make any Ashley Cole comments.

49:00 - Cech misplays the ball, resulting in a Portugal corner, which in turn leads to nothing. Relatively poor dead ball work from both teams.

51:00 - Tommy Smyth says "surely Ronaldo got tripped there." No, he didn't, and don't call me Shirley you Welsh twit.

52:00 - Gomes receives the ball with his back to the goal at the 18, but he turns and puts his shot straight at Cech.

54:45 - Gomes lopes past Rozehnal after a bad touch, but the Czech defender recovers to put it out for a corner. Simao takes the corner, but it leads to nothing.

56:50 - Free kick for the Czechs from 35 yards. The ball is put into the box and cleared by Pepe.

57:50 - Deco with a beautiful through ball to Simao, and Cech makes an excellent save with his left hand/foot. Good positioning from the keeper.

59:30 - Portugal with yet another opportunity built through the midfield. They are really starting to assert themselves, although the Czechs are defending well.

60:00 - Tommy Smyth opines that perhaps Koller is warming up because Baros doesn't have the fitness to play the full 90 minutes, bolstering his argument by mentioning that Baros was only a substitute in the Portsmouth-Cardiff City final.

61:20 - Corner for the Czechs, and Ujifalusi gets a head on it. It flashes across the goal mouth, but no one can get a head on it.

62:30 - GOAL! Portugal 2 - Czech Republic 1. Ronaldo is fed a ball across the box from Deco and absolutely blasts it home past Cech.

64:40 - Petit chops Jankulovski approximately 17 seconds after the ball is gone, leading to a free kick. (France's Petit >>>>>>>>>>>> Portugal's Petit). The free kick is served well, and Ricardo takes a swing and a miss, but Portugal manages to clear the ball.

66:40 - Corner kick for Portugal. The ball is played short to Simao, who sends it across the box to Pepe, who is 2 yards offside.

67:17 - Vlcek on for Matejovsky for the Czech Republic.

68:31 - Jankulovski sends a ball into the 6-yard box, but it's too close to Ricardo who makes the save.

69:30 - The Czechs get an excellent chance as the ball comes to the far post and is headed back across the goal. Unfortunately, Baros is too short and Ferreira makes the clearance.

69:58 - Petit is down on the pitch. It looks like he may taken a shot to the coin purse on Ferreira's clearance. He is stretchered off.

73:00 - Jan Koller on for Galasek for the Czech Republic. This removes a holding midfielder to add a second striker, so they are clearly still looking to push the pace.

74:00 - Portugal makes their first change, sending on Meira for Moutinho, adding a defensive midfielder.

75:30 - Polak fouls Deco at 20 yards, and Simao takes the free kick directly into the wall.

77:00 - Quickly down the other hand, Plasil plays the ball into Baros, who heads it wide. Sionko was behind Baros, in better position, but he doesn't get his chance.

78:30 - Portugal makes their second change, bringing on Almeida for Gomes. Gomes hands the captain's armband to Ronaldo, which is met by loud jeers from the crowd.

80:00 - Quaresma on for Simao for Portugal.

81:00 - Jankulovski looks at Quaresma, who falls to the ground as if he had been shot.

82:50 - Plasil pushes the ball up the right side of the pitch, and the ball is eventually delivered to Sionko, who forces a save over the bar by Ricardo. The resulting corner leads to nothing.

85:00 - Jarolim on for Plasil in the last substitute of the match. Plasil may be gassed, as he and Sionko have been the best players for the Czech Republic by far.

86:00 - Jarolim gets dumped, leading to a free kick. He is eventually disposessed by Pepe, so he fouls him. The AR is not impressed.

87:47 - Quaresma receives the ball in the box, but his shot is deflected by Jankulovski. The Greek AR is apparently blind, as he awards a goal kick.

88:30 - Free kick from Jankulovski from 35 yards comes too close to Ricardo, who punches it out.

89:46 - Nice run by Baros, who delivers the ball to Koller. He knocks the ball down and plays ti Sionko, who skies it over the net.

90:00 (+00:30) - GOAL! Portugal 3 - Czech Republic 1. A quick free kick by Portugal leads to a ball played through to Ronaldo, who dips his shoulder to draw Cech in and then delivers it to Quaresma for the goal.

90:00 (+03:00) - Full time. Portugal 3 - Czech Republic 1.

Okay kids, that's it for this match. Join me in 30 minutes for Switzerland v. Turkey.

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Euro 2008 Live Blog: Switzerland v. Czech Republic

It's finally here, the first match of Euro 2008 pitting co-host Switzerland against a strong Czech Republic squad from St. Jakob Park in Basel, Switzerland. I am thoroughly excited about the tournament, although I won't likely be able to watch every single minute of each match like I did with World Cup 2006. Stupid jobs and needing to make money.

This match has the potential to be a scoreless draw. The Swiss are known for keeping a tight back line having been ousted from the last World Cup without allowing a goal. The Czech team is led by its all-world keeper Petr Cech. But, the Czech team is missing some of its offensive firepower with Tomas Rosicky out injured and Pavel Nedved retired.

After the jump, the lineups

Czech Rep.
Petr Cech-G; Marek Jankulovski-D, Tomas Ujfalusi-D, David Rozehnal-D, Zdenek Grygera-D; David Jarolim-M, Libor Sionko-M, Tomas Galasek-M, Jaroslav Plasil-M, Jan Polak-M; Jan Koller-F

Switzerland

Diego Benaglio-G; Patrick Müller-D, Ludovic Magnin-D, Philippe Senderos-D, Stephan Lichtsteiner-D; Tranquillo Barnetta-M, Valon Behrami-M, Fernandes Gelson-M, Gokhan Inler-M; Alexander Frei-F, Marco Streller-F

0:00 The match is underway, but you know what sucks...not having ESPN Classic and only getting an Asian language feed. Gotta find something better.


6:00 Seriously, this is annoying. Compounded by some domestic disorder this morning, my day is not starting well.

Not even a fucking clock...Jeeezzus!!

16:00 Now it's french...I don't fucking speak french. Bastards.

20:00 Swiss Mister Frei with a nice touch on to free his teammate for a shot on Cech. But, the effort was lacking and Cech easily smothered it.

22:00 Wow! That was some pathetic defense on the Czech squad. Allowing the ball to bounce over his head letting Frei free, but Cech again saved the team coming off his line.

25:00 That was an ambitious effort from Sionko for Czech Rep. An off-balance turn at the 18 with no pace on the shot. Good idea.


27:00 The Czech squad seems to be having trouble stringing anything together. Just trying to power it in without any strategy right now. They should fix that.

30:00 Seriously, the Czech strategy seems to be hump the ball upfield and (1) shoot or (2) try to get it to Koller's head. Now, Koller is tall and it worked against the US two years ago, but really?

34:00 Foul on Fernandes. His name definitely sounds Swiss.

35:00 If Koller had been 6 inches taller, he would be playing basketball, but he might have been able to get his head on that. Who am I kidding, he would have had to be faster and younger. Tough to get to when your old as the alps.

36:00 The Swiss offense finally reappeared with an excellent long-range shot that Cech could only parry away but there were Swiss attackers in the area, that were offside. Lucky for the Cech.

41:00 The lone creative force in this match, Alex Frei, is down and has to come off to the sideline after a Czech player came in on a tackle and twisted his knee. Hopefully he can make a Paul Pierce like comeback. Otherwise, this match is going to be even less tolerable.

45:00 Well, we have our first man tears as Frei sheds a few as he walks back to the lockerroom with his knee wrapped in ice. This doesn't look good.

Halftime 0-0 Well, at least there have been a few opportunities.


So, is horseracing that popular that ESPN needs to cover all the races prior to the Belmont Stakes this morning rather than putting soccer on a channel that just about all cable systems in the US have? Just curious. I mean, there is only so many times I can stand to watch Big Brown bucking in his security stable this morning and hearing the question "Is this going to affect him?"...No you fucking asshole, it won't and if it does will it change your bet? Not likely you fucking degenerate gambler.

46:00 So Frei is off, Hakin Yakin is on for him. Bummer.

Precious Roy writes:

The real reason soccer will never be huge in this country?

Every time there is good buzz for the sport off something like the CL final, the very next match that people might tune in to is invariably something like this.

Thankfully this match is only on ESPN Classic. Those bastards.

47:00 A nice set play for the Swiss off the corner that gets Cech on the ground for the save.

That was a nice overhead camera shot prior to the corner. Like thos NFL sky cams. I'd like to see more of those shots.

51:00 Yakin has impacted the match since he stepped on the pitch. He is looking very dangerous.

In case your interested, Piazza de Spagna won the MSG Network Purse just now. Congratulations. Now switch over to a soccer match ESPN, you wankers.

57:00 Sverkos on for Koller...hopefully this will keep them away from Route 1 football.

59:00 Magnin, the new Swiss captain, becomes the first player booked in the tourney on a late tackle from behind.

60:00 Sionko gets a head on the ensuing free kick but it goes just wide right. A good opportunity and Sionko continues to impress.

62:00 Lichtsteiner made a nice run to the corner with the ball and weighted a nice cross to the middle of the box that Bernetta skied. I would really like to see a goal. But, nobody seems to have the finishing quality.

65:00 Yakin proves dangerous again getting his head on a cross but it goes wide right.

67:00 Frei comes out from the lockerroom on crutches. What a disappointment to suffer the injury. I hope it's not too serious.

71:00 GOALLLLL!!! 1-0 C.R. The sub Sverkos scores for Czech on some bad defending. The line let him slip by as the ball was chipped over and he loped onto into easily putting it in the right corner.

That's the first goal the Swiss have conceded in an international tournament since 2004.

75:00 Vanlanthen on for Lichtsteiner, who played well, and then Vanlanthen gets a yellow immediately. Well done, well done.

78:00 How unlucky can Switzerland get. They had Cech beaten with a rebound on a shot but the woodwork still beat them.

By the way, it looks like TIET was serious that she would turn off the match if Frei was out. Haven't seen hide nor hair of her since halftime. She is a principled woman.

82:00 Sionko off for Vlcek. I'd like to give this guy one of Sionko's vowels.

I think Magnin was an extra on the Caveman show.

87:00 Jarolim on for Kovac. I'm not going to even pretend I know a single thing about these guys. My Froot Loops have been more interesting than the end of this match. Did you know it has a new "Darkberry" Froot Loop? that might be mildly racist.

90:00 3 Minutes of stoppage time. I must say Cech hasn't looked great. He gave up an easy corner there and just seems out of synch.

90:00 +2 Hey, Shaq's at the Belmont Stakes. Is somebody going to ride him in the race?

Goal scorer Sverkos gets the stretcher after he ran into a Swiss ass. No, I don't mean Senderos.

90:00 +5: Barnetta gets booked and we have the final whistle. Czech Republic has to be happy with the win but somewhat concerned with their lack of offense. While, the Swiss are probably pretty down after losing Frei and creating the majority of the chances but failing to capitalize.

Well, see you all in about an hour for the next match between Portugal and Turkey.

Read more on "Euro 2008 Live Blog: Switzerland v. Czech Republic"...

Euro 2008 Team Profiles: Czech Republic

With all due respect to Precious Roy and his Spain preview, Czech Republic are going to win Euro 2008. It all comes down to one man, Special Ed himself in the goal, Petr Cech. Of course, that depends on him not getting another kick to the face, but since Stephen Hunt and Tal ben Haim aren't taking part in these championships, such an occurrence should not happen.

Czech Republic's roster:
GK: Cech (Chelsea), Blazek (Nuremburg), Zitka (Anderlecht)
Def: Grygera (Juventus), Kovac (Spartak Moscow), Jankulovski (AC Milan), Pospech (Copenhagen), Kadlec (Sparta Prague); Ujfalusi (Fiorentina), Rozenhal (Newcastle United)
MF: Polak (Anderlecht), Galasek (Nuremburg), Sionko (Copenhagen), Jarolim (Hamburg), Matejovsky (Reading), Sivok (Sparta Prague), Skacel (Southampton), Plasil (Osasuna)
FW: Fenin (Eintracht Frankfurt), Koller (Nuremburg), Vlcek (Anderlecht), Baros (Portsmouth), Sverkos (Banik Ostrava)

So, yeah. Cech in the goal. And three of four defenders playing in Italy, where they know a thing or two about choking off the offensive side of the game. I say that this is a team that advances out of Group A without much problem. They may face a fight in the sandwich Portugal game, but will easily overrun the host Swiss to start and Turkey to finish the group. I see 7 points in their future. Look for Koller to be especially effective in the first and last game of the group.

If they do avoid second place in Group A, that will probably mean that the Czechs avoid Germany in the second round. One win there and they are in the Semis. From there it's anyone's game. But especially the Czechs, since they will win Euro 2008 (I said it again in case you missed it above).

Could England beat this team? No. England are not scoring on this team. A draw might happen, but there is no win for England here.
Breakout Player? Koller will get some goals, but look for Milan Baros to re-emerge on the European stage, just in time for Portsmouth to make a UEFA Cup run.
Biggest Question Mark? The midfield is thin on star players. As long as crosses can be made and/or balls played through for Baros, the team will be alright.
Worst Player? (Way)Back-up forward Vaclav Sverkos will earn his first cap if he makes it off the bench. Don't count on it.
Can this team win Euro 2008? Yes. On defense and counterattacks.
What is the squad's pre-made excuse for not winning Euro 2008? No Pavel Nedved. Even though he is old, he could still make a difference coming on as a sub. No Rosicky either. This team is weak in the center of the field. As such, they will be reliant on goals from up front, but that should happen without problem.

Read more on "Euro 2008 Team Profiles: Czech Republic"...