In Poland, you just beat your troubles away

Don't mock the Plock

It's not easy being a football fan sometimes. When you're one of the better teams, you get the joy of winning most weeks, but even the best sides come unstuck from time-to-time, and suddenly you're the ones on the other end of a heavy defeat.

Well, in Poland, the remedy is simple: don't drink your woes away... just use your fists instead!

This past weekend, Polish First League (really their 2nd-tier division) high-fliers Flota Swinoujscie welcomed struggling Wisla Plock to town for a league fixture. As expected, Flota won the match comfortably, 4-1, and while the home crowd celebrated the beatdown, the small cadre of disgruntled Plock fans decided to vent their frustrations by hopping the fences and assaulting the Flota supporters. Makes sense, right?

Check the videos below: the first is mostly match highlights (flip to the last 35 seconds or so to see the trouble brew and unfold in full), whereas the second is the news report. All us UFers find it incredible that the visiting fans could have beat down the home fans like that!

Perhaps for Flock's next match, the fans should wear the kits and the players should take a rest in the stands. It might help them greatly.

5 goals, several punches, 27 arrested, and one hilarious story.

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The Good, The Bad, The WTF: Euro 2008 Edition

This post, my friends is going to be a mess. As long as you know that going in, we'll all be okay. Inside, we will break down each competing country's home and away jersey and file it into the categories Good, Bad and WTF. Pretty simple, huh?
For ease of my poorly HTMLing soul, I will only provide links to each shirt instead of trying to force them all into the Blogger template. Trust me, if you've seen how Blogger can mangle posts by screwing up pictures, this is a good thing.

Onwards and upwards, my friends. Here we go.

Group A
Switzerland Home Away Switzerland wear Puma jerseys. In what will quickly become a theme in this post, Puma jerseys all look cookie-cutter. They have a template, switch colors where necessary, and affix the necessary badges. Boring. What I like about the Swiss shirt is the badge. That kind of artsy rendering of their national association where they also fit in the white cross. However, these are Puma jerseys, so the verdict is:
Home and Away: Bad
Czech Republic Home Away Plain. Boring. Go home. I do like the blue piping on the home shirt, and the Czech badge is one of the more interesting entries, full of history, for those into that. But it is simply not enough to overcome the crappiness of being a Puma shirt.
Home and Away: Bad
Portugal Home Away There is something wrong with the Portugal home shirt. We here at UF could not quite put our finger on it, but we hate it. It could be the wrong hue, or it could just be the too tight fit. We hated it all the same. On the other hand, we were much more sympathetic to the white shirt. It looks a lot better, but, in the end, we found it a little plain.
Home and Away: Bad
Turkey Home Away Now we're talking. It may still be a hangover from their unbelievable victory over the Czechs on Sunday, but these are both very nice shirts. The home shirt can look a little like a 'Boro effort, I'm sure, but it dazzles nonetheless. And that away shirt, my goodness. Two teams made solid use of baby blue accents this tournament, and Turkey is one of them.
Home and Away: Good

Group B
Austria Home Away A mixed bag. Once again, we are stuck with Puma templates, but Austria does something a little right here. It's not in the home shirt, really, though it should rate a "meh" instead of its final grade. The winner here is the away shirt. Menacingly black with a little flag flair thrown in at the collar.
Home: Bad; Away: Good
Croatia Home Away Did we even get to see the all-checkerboard shirt yet? I don't recall. You have to give them respect for sticking with such and irritating-to-the-eyes shirt for all of these years. As for the blue away shirt, man, I don't know. And for that, it perfectly fits the WTF category. Safe to say I would not want to sport either one of these walking around my town.
Home and Away: WTF?
Germany Home Away Poor Germany. Forever saddled with a white shirt that they are not entirely happy with, so they fuck around with it. This year's entry feels unbalanced. Too much black in the striping, not enough red or yellow. At least it keeps us away from the away shirt. Seriously, this is not a look for top tier international football. This is a training top. Even though I kind of like the gold stitching on the black background, I hope they never have to wear it.
Home: Bad; Away: WTF?
Poland Home Away Poland, the home of unattractive football. They never looked good playing in the Euros, and these shirts did not help. Blandest of them all.
Home and Away: Bad

Group C
Romania Home Away Romania's shirts this year felt like a throwback to USA '94. Sadly, the team did not perform in the same manner. The worst part of it all is that they totally rip off the New York Cosmos badge. Anyway, 14 years is too soon to do a throwback jersey. Well, I write that, but I can't hate on the home jersey. I like it.
Home: Good; Away: Bad
France Home Away I am not a fan of the extra crap going across the middle of the French home shirt. They do, however, get credit with me by having their flag pop up inside the adidas stripes on the arms. Throw in that nice, newish badge of the rooster and you have a winner. God help me, I like the garish red away shirt as well. Two winners.
Home and Away: Good
Netherlands Home Away The Dutch are always hard to figure out. They have to use that bright orange which pays homage to a royal family line that no one likes. Sometimes they pull it off, and sometimes it is painful. This tournament, they pulled it off, sometimes. The Dutch were the second team to tastefully use Nike's new baby blue accent by pairing the orange shirt with baby blue socks. And it totally worked. However, when they reverted to orange socks yesterday, it all looked horrible. Also, nice try, but you can't work in your flag on the collar without it looking like you won First Grade attendance medals. As for the away shirt, it divides us. But, I'm the one writing here, and I hate it. So, there you go. We do seem to be unified in liking the cyborg numbering though.
Home: Good, with qualifications; Away: WTF?
Italy Home Away Italy stick with the basics. Once again, this is a Puma top, but it's not quite as bad as the red and white ones. This gets a passing grade for the gold at the neck. The away jersey, though, is run of the mill and boring.
Home: Good; Away: Bad

Group D
Spain Home Away I think we were a bit undecided by these. The home jersey is nothing out of the ordinary, but it works well. That light gold away shirt, though, is rather atrocious. Hopefully, Spain will not be required to trot it out on their way to winning this year's tournament.
Home: Good; Away: WTF?
Russia Home Away These had potential, especially the away shirt, but the execution is off. I am all for integrating you nation's flag into the shirt. I don't like it when doing so means that I have to fill in the blanks for you. The white shirt loses the top stripe of the flag and the red shirt loses the bottom stripe of the flag. Why not go with a blue away shirt so that one can easily make out the flag running across the torso? Nike FAIL.
Home: Bad; Away: WTF?
Greece Home Away Thanks for coming and bringing the same kit from 2004. Did you think that would work? Okay, the sublimated flag print on the away shirt is nice, but no dice.
Home and Away: Bad
Sweden Home Away It's always tough to deal with the Swedish shirts. The combo of yellow and blue is a nice one, but they just use too much yellow sometimes. If only I could get a reason to really like a bunch of yellow Swedish shirts. Oh, here's one. The away shirt is a tough one. In some pictures, it looks black, which would be a bold move, but in others it looks navy, which is kind of boring. Still, since Swedish girls will wear them and get pictured in them, they are both winners.
Home and Away: Good

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Euro Trash Day 2: "Electric Boogaloo"

Croatia 1 - Austria 0

Add Croatians to the list of people not to invite over. For the second day in a row a former communist country showed up as a guest to the Euro party and started to steal shit from the host. And by "shit" I mean "match." Heavy favorites Croatia got a debatably gift penalty call (see what we did there... who doesn't love a party theme?) inside of 5 minutes then held on for the three points.

A bit reckless on the contact? Yes. Penalty? Maybe. Yellow card? No way (turns out the card was given to Emanuel Pogatetz for the protest, not to Rene Aufhauser for the challlenge). But Luka Modric converted, and the single goal held up.

The 90-something ranked Austrians probably deserved better, save for the critical fact that they neglected to score but, silver lining, they disposed of the notion that they would embarrass themselves as they flat outplayed Croatia in the second half.

Croatia, who often will just punch a team in the face until they relent found that the Austrians were happy to punch right back. In fact it was while Pogatetz was carrying the yellow and still pulled at [I think] Olic's shoulder not once but twice before clubbing him across the face with his forearm—should have been a second yellow and an ejection—at about the 30th minute that Croatia realized they might have to win on skill alone. And somewhat surprisingly, they didn't seem like they had enough of it (I know Eduardo led the qualifying group in scoring but is he really that important?).

Austria peppered keeper Pletikosa with chances, but failed to get a couple of headers down that might have netted the equalizer. My $.02, this was the most exciting match of the tourney so far. It was far from pretty, buy fuck if these two teams didn't run at each other for 90 straight.

Germany 2 - Poland 0

The really sad part about this is that with each successive encounter, Poland seems more convinced that they are going to beat Germany. Today's 2-0 quasi-methodical defeat brings Germany's running record to 12-0-4. Lukas Podolski had a brace off a fortuitous bounce and a couple of good looks at a hatty (Oh wait, the really, really sad part about this is that Podolski was born in Poland).

I didn't see the second goal live because my ESPN2 went out (along with ESPN, but Classic was still raging, strange). Was that national?

Anyway, Poland created some chances, but keeping with the letimotif of all teams having been shut-out, couldn't finish. I think that might be a tautology.

Too bad Johnnie Cochran is dead or he could have made a killer pre-game pep talk. "If Lehmann is in goal, you must score if you're a Pole." Yeah, shit that rhymes is always true.

Despite Jens showing in the first minute (ah, shades of the EPL opener against Fulham) that he was apt to blunder, Poland couldn't take advantage. They actually outshot Germany 11-9 (with a good number of the German shots coming late) but didn't make Jens have to handle enough of them.

Germany looks like a lock to advance, but given the other three teams' performances, Group B's bridesmaid derby is wideopen.

Linkage:

Looks like Spain won't be having any Cesc on the field. Not for starters anyway. I don't have the coaching credentials of Aragones (I'm also not quite as racist either) but this seems like a very bad idea.

Shocker. People drinking at the Euro.

Didier Drogba can't stand not being the center of attention.

If I weren't such a HTML 'tard I would have given the two photos cutlines of "My name is Luka" and "My name is Lukas" respectively. Go ahead, laugh. That shit is funny.

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Euro 2008 Open Thread/Liveblog: Germany v. Poland

ESPN's leadup to the Germany-Poland match is bound to have many WWII references. It's easy. I've done it and everybody else will as well. Plus, I don't think either country will forget. The fans have already caused trouble, clashing last night with 7 arrested in Klagenfurt, Austria as the opposing fans got a bit rowdy.

As ESPN's Andy Gray, astutely pointed out, there really isn't much of a football rivalry between the two countries. Germany is better and manages to steal Poland's best players (see Klose, Miroslav; Podolski, Lucas). That said, Poland is bound to put up a good fight.

Lineups after the jump...plus some pictures...



Interesting note, there are 13 Polish players starting this match.

Poland


Germany's Stolen Poles

(G) Artur Boruc 1
(D) Jacek Bak 6
(D) Michal Zewlakow 14
(D) M. Wasilewski 13
(D) Pawel Golanski 4
(M) Jacek Krzynowek 8
(M) Maciej Zurawski 9
(M) M. Lewandowski 18
(M) Dariusz Dudka 5
(M) W. Lobodzinski 17
(F) Ebi Smolarek 7

Germany



Noch ein Bier, bitte.


1 Jens Lehmann (G)
21 C. Metzelder (D)
16 Philip Lahm (D)
4 Clemens Fritz (D)
17 Per Mertesacker (D)
2 Marcell Jansen (D)
8 Torsten Frings (M)
13 Michael Ballack (M)
11 Miroslav Klose (F)
20 Lukas Podolski (F)
9 Mario Gomez (F)

___________________________________________________________

Full Time Podolski proves too much for Poland as the only German Forward who can put the ball on frame. Klose and Gomez had their chances as well, but could not shoot. Lehmann, who had his gaffes, kept everything in front of him today.

72.00 Goal Yes, Podolski scored. Poland fails to clear, Klose whiffs, Podolski knocks it top corner. Game over. Germany 2-0

72.00Podolski scored? ESPN's feed is horrible.

64.00 Schweinsteiger, showing off his "Guy from Everclear" look, gets a Yellow card. My wife says the Polish guy flopped.

60.00 I was right about someone going after Podolski. Lewandowski takes a yellow card for the effort

51.00 Going to be less active this half--family obligations and what not.

46.00 Second half starts.

Half-Time Germany are deservedly in the lead, and should have at least one more in their total. Poland looked much better over the last ten minutes, pushing the Germans back into their own half. Lehmann looks so very rusty, and Boruc has yet to screw anything up. Hopefully, there will be a lively second half to look forward to.

45 +1 Podolski takes a hard foul, runs at the defender to yell at him, gets told by the ref to quit it, walks away, and falls down. Tosser.

45.00 1 minute of added time to came.

43.00 Poland are playing with possession right now, but are not pressing the German back line.

41.00 Trooper, you can come back. I was just kidding.

39.00 Yellow Card Smolarek receives a scare after the ref initially takes out the red card for him. Hard foul on Mertesacker the reason.

37.00 Beenhakker looks like he's right out of Poltergeist. Oh, and Germany miss another good chance by not putting the ball on frame.

35.00 Poland are brightening up and starting to play. Zurawski had an open shot from 15 after Lobodzinski squirmed free on the right, but he duffed it.

33.00 Game really being played in midfield for the last few minutes.

30.00 Germany are choking off the game in the back, content with the game as it stands.

28.00 Decent attempt form the right for Poland. Lobodzinski's shot smothered by Lehmann.

26.00 Germany stream forward, and Fritz's cross gets tipped out for a corner. Podolski takes the corner and kicks to no one.

24.00 Yes, PR, me too.

23.00 Thanks to Trooper for doing my job in the comments.

20.00 GOAL As I was writing that the game had slowed, Germany does a mirror image of Gomez's miss. Klose gets in behind again, and passes to Podolski for the easy tap-in. 1-0 Germany

14.00 Lehmann really looks out of it, doesn't he?

13.00 Yes, Germany's looking pretty strong. I'm surprised there haven't been more hard fouls from Poland. The Poles look rather meek out there.

10.00 Podolski dives, looking for a free kick right outside the box. Why wasn't his head in that photo?

09.00 Polish cross not met correctly in front of the net. Good chance goes begging.

08.00 Poland are playing a really high line, and Germany are attacking it with both Forwards and Midfielders looking for long balls through. That does not bode well for the Poles.

06.00 Gomez was offside the whole time. The question is whether the ref would have called it.

04.00 Mario Gomez misses an open net on a pass from Klose. Poland's defense was nowhere to be found.

03.00 Poland look bright early, but Germany's defense isn't allowing any breakthroughs. And then a couple of hard Polish fouls on Germany.

1.00 Krzynowek just went over from 18 after Jens spilled the ball. Really trying to make Wenger miss him, huh?

Kick-off 4-5-1 for the Poles. Not much chance that they are really trying to outscore Germany tonight.

Kick-off Croatia did not look that good today, did they? England fans have to feel even worse after that display. Oh, and to The Fan's Attic, that is my favorite German picture ever. Thank you.

-05.00 ü75 here, UF's resident Polack to guide you through this game for as long as I can hold out. Being at the beach will put a crimp in how long I can go, but until then, here I am.

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Tell Us How You Really Feel

There may be some lingering animosity between Poland and Germany. The two nations open their Euro 2008 title chase against each other on Sunday. The two met in 2006 World Cup with the Krauts again prevailing over the Poles 1:0 in group play. Poland has revenge on its mind. Revenge for WWII, for the World Cup and for taking the Papacy.

Which explains this:



The polish rag Super Express is asking the squad to bring back the heads of captain Michael Ballack and manager Joachim Low.

So the question is, how many Poles does it take to behead two Germans?

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Euro 2008 Team Profiles: Poland

In the interest of full disclosure, it must be noted that I own a Poland jersey. I have it because I am, in fact, one-half Polish by blood (and fully by unpronounceable-in-the-South surname). However, in the interest of never getting Christmas Aped because of this blog, that is all of the personal information you will get out of me.

So yeah, despite Scotland not making it in, and the Americans cruelly being left out (South America invites us to their championship), I have a tenuous rooting interest. I will pull out my too-tight jersey on a couple of occasions and hope it works better that the USA one I wore during the World Cup.

I suppose, the best place to start would be with the roster. So we'll do that. Forgive the fact that I only type the 26 characters (plus one umlauted one) that I grew up with.
GK: Boruc (Celtic), Kuszczak (Manchester United), Fabianski (Arsenal)
Def: Jop (FC Moscow), Wawrzyniak (Legia Warsaw), Golanski (Steaua Bucharest), Bak (Austria Wien), Wasilewski (Anderlecht), Zewlakov (Olympiakos), Kokoszka (Wisla Krakow)
Mid: Dudka (Wisla Krakow), Kryznowek (VFL Wolfsburg), Gargula (Belchatow), Pazdan (Gornik Zabrze), Blaszczykowski (Borussia Dortmund), Lobodzinski (Wisla Krakow), Murawski (Lech Poznan), Guerreiro (Legia Warsaw), Lewandowski (Shakhtar Donetsk)
FW: Smolarek (Racing Santander), Zurawski (Larissa), Saganowski (Southampton), Zahorski (Gornik Zabrze)

Whew. Now that my Firefox screen is filled with red squiggly lines, I will take the time to note that the two best Polish-born players are not on this squad. For those playing the home game, they would be Miroslav Klose and Lucas Podolski. Somehow, they both pulled a Owen Hargreaves and went to play for another country. Tossers all of them. As an aside, I really hope Davey O'Brien gets called up to do Euro coverage. I would love to hear him and Marcelo Balboa ruin these names.

If the Poles wanted to get revenge on those two for deciding to play for Germany, they don't have long to wait. Just like in World Cup 2006, Poland's opening group match is against the Germans. One (I) would hope that they pull off a better effort that they did last time. The other teams in the group are co-hosts Austria (win) and Croatia. That game with Croatia should determine which club joins Germany in the knockout stages.


(1) Could England beat this team? To be honest, maybe. Remember, Poland just two months ago played USA with a full-strength squad and lost 3-0 at home. But, the Poles finished top of their qualifying group over Portugal, who would rape the current England squad.
(2) Can Poland win Euro 2008? No. Getting out of the group stage will be a struggle. Winning is out of the question.
(3) What is their pre-made excuse for not winning Euro 2008? Well, of you look beyond the fact that Germany already has their top two strikers, maybe it's the fact that Boruc is a headcase in the goal.
(4) What is the biggest question mark surrounding the team? Should we have taken more than 4 forwards?
(5) Who is their worst player? When in doubt, guess. Lukasz Gargula is the home-based player who plays for the worst-finishing Pole team from last season. Otherwise I have no idea.

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