Apparently Michael Jackson has died.
This can only mean one thing: Tributes from athletes.
At his presser being intro'ed as a Laker, Ron Artest said he's taking the number 37 jersey in a tribute to Jackson ('Thriller" was the #1 album for 37 weeks in a row). That seems like a bit of a long term commitment to a temporal emotional reaction. That is until you learn that Ron Artest will only live one more year. No really, listen to his tribute song here. Artest says he'll see Mike next year in heaven.
He also calls Michael Jackson his 'nigga'.
Anyway, we're not Free Darko. So we give a much more ephemeral tribute. This one from Kei Kamara of the Houston Dynamo.
It's about a 7 on a 10 scale. The header was pretty good, too. Although that might be deceptive from the camera angle, but it looks like he makes a good launch late to get to the ball and bury it.
Seems someone gave Kamara the same advice my father gave me: "Son keep a glove in your pants when playing sports, in case you ever score."
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Good Thing He Didn't Molest A Little Boy
Friday, December 12, 2008
Monday, October 13, 2008
Can Someone Do More Than Ban Him?
Know what's hysterical?
Racial epithets. Seriously. Try it. Walk up the next black person you see and call him the N-word. Or if that's a skosh much for you, maybe just call him a 'spearchucker' or 'jungle bunny.' Hilarity will ensue.
Ridiculous right? Well, that's what happened to DC United keeper Louis Crayton—not the hilarity, just the epithet—after the team's scoreless draw against the Dynamo in Houston last night (Sunday). Somehow Crayton, a native of Liberia, kept enough composure to respond to the offender in a rational manner instead of maybe dismembering him. Crayton recounts: "It is so sad that he would say that to me," Crayton said. "I am saying hi to the fans and he walked up to me and told me, 'Hey, you're a monkey, go back to the jungle.' I told him, 'Hey, you can't say that to me. I am not a monkey, I am a human being like you.' I jumped over to ask him why he insulted me, and he kept going."
The person in question was escorted from the grounds by Robertson Stadium officials and banned from Dynamo games indefinitely. It's a pretty sorry event. And if there is any silver lining it's that it didn't escalate into anything violent.
As a fan of football—not to mention a human in general—this is disappointing to say the least. For all the positive aspects of the game we're trying to import from around the world, racism isn't on the list and shouldn't be tolerated. Assuming this is all accurate, anything the Dynamo or MLS can do beyond simply banning this person it totally cool with us.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Just Something To Keep In Mind When Things Do Go Wrong
Maybe the folks at MLS are smarter than we think. Sure signing an international superstar would certainly raise the profile of the league, but Darren Huckerby really isn't enough to take the MLS to that next level by himself.
No, if the MLS wants to get to that place where its stars can start populating communities with enough babies to open an elementary school, they need to go where only the big boys go. Yeah, they need a labor dispute.
It's a ways off until the current collective bargaining agreement (CBA) expires at the end of next season (2009), but with the SuperLiga as the backdrop—and we promise this is the last SuperLiga post—MLS and commissioner Don Garber might have not only found themselves a camel, but gone ahead and placed the first straw on its back.
Just prior to the start of the SuperLiga competition, the league told the players that the winning team's share of the $1M prize money would be $150,000.
That didn't go over too well with the players, who probably thought that, because they were playing in a million dollar tournament, they would be receiving a million dollars. That might have been unrealistic, but the resulting spat has given the average fan a bit more of a window into the autocratic iron gloves the league brass likes to don.
God, that's an awful mixed metaphor.
But as a result of the spat, MLS Commissioner Don Garber started talking. And, while he might not have been wrong in anything he said regarding the CBA, he certainly has shown he's no Carnegie protege.
First, he pointed out that Pachuca C.F., the 2007 SuperLiga winner, only gave its players $300,000 of the prize money. Actually, Garber just said that someone else said that's what happened. Here's the quote: “According to the president of Pachuca, their players did not get $1 million dollars; they got $300,000. There’s bad information to begin with. So it would be in everybody’s best interest if the facts were promoted instead of rumors. It’s frustrating.’’
Fair enough, but I couldn't find any source (in English or Spanish), where that was substantiated by or attributed to Pachuca chairman Jesus MartÃnez.
Second, Garber pointed out how fucking magnanimous MLS was being in the first place by unilaterally deciding to cough up half of what their non-union Mexican equivalents offered. According to the league's collective bargaining agreement, MLS isn't required to even pay players for SuperLiga at all. Again Garber:"Within our CBA, there is a separate agreement on bonuses for compulsory tournaments and it is up to the league's discretion to even pay bonuses for non-compulsory tournaments. SuperLiga is non-compulsory... We opted to pay, of the million-dollar prize money that goes to the winning team, $150,000 to the winning club [players], which we thought was fair and reasonable, matching the prize money for the MLS Cup."
Third he said, "Nanny nanny boo boo."
That's not actually true. But you can almost picture it.
Anyway, the tournament proceeded without much incident. Then prior to last night's final, in a show of player solidarity the Houston Dynamo and the New England Revolution came to their own agreement about the players' share of the money, specifically that they would pool the first and second place player payouts and split them.
Then Garber, showing the kind of deftness one only acquires with a degree from the Stalin School of Public Relations replied, "No, you're not." Actually he said the following: "That's not something that is permitted in the CBA, it's not something we are going to allow... We will pay the prize money as it was originially dictated as determined by MLS ownership."
The strange thing is the decision by the players to pool the money wasn't that big of a deal, at least financially, and had to be more of a symbolic gesture than anything else.
Do the maths: It's $150,000 to the winners and $100,000 to the runners up. So by pooling the $250,000, the winning team is giving up all of $25,000, which amounts to less than $1000* per player.
That seems like a pittance for Garber to risk pissing off the entirety of the league labor pool over, especially considering that CBA is going to be re-B'ed after the 2009 season.
Okay, there's a CBA in place and for better or worse, the players agreed to it and the league is going to proceed without violating the law at all (I think, I'm not a labor lawyer) but maybe upsetting the people who play the actual games. But then Garber says something peculiar. When asked about where the $1 million goes—and excuse me for quoting Garber so extensively but when someone is starting to dig his own grave, it's kind of hard to show proper retraint—he explained: [The $1 million] goes to the club owner. It's no different from a NASCAR tournament where the team owner wins prize money and the team owner has a driver under contract, and whatever his agreement with that driver is is what that driver receives.
That's peculiar because according to this NY Post blog, that's exactly what two of the MLS teams (players) involved in the SuperLiga tried to do—negotiate an agreement with their owners. But Garber and the league put the kibosh on that.
The Post reports that DC United and the Dynamo (both AEG owned) tried to cut separate deals, deals in which the teams offered the players 50% of the purse money. MLS blocked that and the players filed a grievance.
So if NASCAR is MLS, the team owners are the MLS clubs, and the drivers are the players, then what is Garber in this analogy, besides an idiot? Correct me if I'm wrong but by Garber's example what MLS did would be like if NASCAR instead told its team owners how much they could give their drivers.
Again, the CBA is up at the end of the 2009, and if there is a dispute that results in an interruption of play, then you might find the seeds of it in the 2008 SuperLiga pay kerfuffle.
Any thoughts this might be wiped away with the good feelings after last night's top quality match where the Revs beat the Dynamo 6-5 on PKs died pretty quickly with the trophy presentation. Steve Ralston took the cup from Garber and couldn't get off the podium and away from him quickly enough. The message from the players couldn't have been clearer: "Give us the trophy and go fuck yourself."
*Correct me if I'm wrong but the full first-team squads in MLS is 28 players.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Tree Falls in New England
It was the two best teams in their league. They have met to decide the last two championships. And they have built a fierce rivalry—one that gets played out with the utmost of sportsmanship, but these two teams go at each other. And hard.
The match-up was the closest thing to a classic that the fledgling league and even younger competition could hope for.
And fucking nobody saw it.
Last night's attendance at Gillette Stadium for the 2008 SuperLiga Final between the Houston Dynamo and the New England Revolution?
A paltry 9240. Paraphrasing a dead comedian: I've had more people than that in bed before.
And seeing how the US broadcast rights were held by Telefutura and no Mexican team was in the final, the ratings were probably equally as crappy.
A good round up of the match, won 2-2 (6-5) by the Revs, can be found here (or if you want the story from the losers' side it can be found here).
But "losers" is an unfortunate term to hang on the Dynamo because both teams went at each other. The first half in particular was end to end. Both teams were still going in hard on tackles even in the extra periods. And penalties went to eight rounds before Corey Ashe pushed his attempt over hit the bar.
It was the best possible advertisement for club soccer in America, even if the copy was in Spanish. So why did fewer people see the final than saw the second shooter on the grassy knoll?
The SuperLiga has not been without its detractors. The MLS teams complained about the money: specifically that the players' cut of the winners' $1M in prize spoils was only going to be $150,000 (More on this later, as it was clear that the players wanted nothing to do with Don Garber during the trophy presentation).
The Mexicans teams complained (and other parties have agreed) that without any of the matches being played in Mexico the playing field was tilted. And speaking of playing fields, many of the pitches in the States were a step shy of being Scottish (i.e. "Not Scottish = Crap").
There was also some whinging about the obscure tie breaking rules. This was also almost exclusively from Mexican quarters as there was some confusion as to whether Chivas de Guadalajara understood the tie breakers. We blogged about it not being the standard goal difference, and while it did involve going step by step through the criteria to make sense of them, they were readily available for all to peruse.
I found them after about 20 second's time and three mouse clicks. I'm thinking if there is $1M on the line, I could probably take the time to make sure I knew the rules. They might have been confusing, but they certainly weren't hidden. And I'm willing to guess if they were likely given to each club. Meaning they didn't need to do anything but read them.
But none of these have taken away from the quality of play, which is what ultimately should drive interest. The only remaining complaint—that it's the preseason for the Mexican teams—would (and certainly does) impact that, but both leagues have agreed to the dates, so if that's really problematic, that's something that should be within their power to address going forward.
Such is the plight of soccer in the US. Goldenballs can Favre the whole of MLS, but when the two best teams square off, it still doesn't draw. Pointing fingers for that is another post. So, consider this a "heads up" for when Houston and the Revs meet a third time to decide the MLS Cup because that's the only silver lining left.
Monday, July 21, 2008
Mexicans Crash Out of Tournament Because They Can't Read
With six points in hand, a comfortable plus-2 goal differential (not to mention facing a team with a minus-3 GD), and a win over the next-best team on paper (Houston Dynamo), Chivas de Guadalajara had to think they were pretty much a lock to advance out of its 2008 SuperLiga group.
It wasn't until after a 2-0 loss to fellow Mexican side Atlante FC in the last group match that Chivas manager Efrain Flores found out his team was in fact out of the tournament, despite thinking he was safe regardless of outcome.
To his credit, Flores didn't make excuses saying, "I don't think it is a failure tonight. We lost the way the rules are." What he didn't say was, "Even though the rules are fucking stupid.
But he might have been right to, as, in his defense, the tie-breaker rules for SuperLiga are about as clear as sheetrock. With three teams level on six points, Guadalajara and its even GD would seemingly have the edge over Atlante and its minus-1 GD. But the tie breaker criteria were clearly written by a crazy person, leading to Flores' confusion.
From the 2008 SuperLiga Wikipedia page, the tie breaker criteria are as follows:If two teams are equal on points, the following criteria are applied to determine the rankings:[4]
1. Head-to-Head Results (points only)
2. Goal Differential
3. Goals Scored
4. Coin Toss
In the event that three or more teams are equal on points and no one team has defeated the other two (Head-to-Head Results), then the remaining tiebreakers are employed to advance a single team. The tiebreakers are applied again between the teams that failed to advance if it is necessary to determine a second-place team.
If the tiebreakers fail to advance a single team, the tiebreakers are then used to eliminate one of the three teams.
So, follow along and we'll try to make sense of this. The Dynamo, Atlante, and Chivas were all 2-1 (1-1 against each other).
Dynamo: Beat Atlante. Lost to Chivas.
Chivas: Beat Dynamo. Lost to Atlante.
Atlante: Beat Chivas. Lost to Dynamo.
So we get through Number 1 above with nobody (save DC United) having been eliminated, and the remaining teams in a 3-way tie.
Then we jump to the first bit of written qualifier. It states that, in the event of a 3-way and no team having a 2-0 record against the other two, the remaining tie-breakers are used to advance one team.
So, by virtue of tie-breaker Number 2 and its plus-5 GD, the Dynamo (and only the Dynamo) are through as the group winners.
Then the rules seem to stipulate that if there is still a tie for second place, the tie-breakers are used again for the remaining teams, starting from the top. So Atlante, by beating Chivas head to head advance, are through because of tie-breaker Number 1. They'd have 3 points to Chivas' zero.
So Chivas is out. Atlante is in.
But obfuscation is the only real winner here.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
De La Hoya's punching his way into Houston Dynamo ownership
No word yet on whether the fishnets will become part of the team kits
We're a couple of days late reporting on this, but this one concerns our favourite diminutive, cross-dressing pugilist, Oscar De La Hoya. As it will be announced tomorrow in a formal ceremony at Houston's Jones Plaza, the Golden Boy is buying into the Houston Dynamo.
His company, Golden Boy Promotions Inc., along with private equity firm Brener International Group LLC, are each purchasing a 25 percent stake in the club with a view to develop the Dynamo brand in the Hispanic market.
Parent company Anschutz Entertainment Group [AEG] will still retain a 50 percent share of the club, and will retain operating responsibility of the team.
So what does it all mean?
Any way you slice it, the deal is a good bit of business for De La Hoya and co., as Houston is arguably the biggest MLS brands right now. They're back-to-back champions, they're currently working on the plans to build an $80 million, 22,000-seater stadium not far from Minute Maid Park, and fuck, they've got Brian Ching! Their value now is around $40 million, a significant jump from their pre-MLS Cup wins, and they've got recent success on their side. AEG has been looking for a while to cut back its investments in MLS to focus on the "crown jewel" that is the LA Galaxy, and the De La Hoya/Brener fit was a perfect match, as they've partnered before in other sports and boxing ventures and done quite well. The big unveiling is tomorrow at lunchtime, so expect fireworks. I want the MLS to do thrive and succeed, and bringing in big-name investors is a great sign of things to come. Let's just hope they don't start chasing the other washed-up Beckhams of the world as the Galaxy have done. [LA has recently signed former Newcastle and Chelsea defender Celestine Babayaro, who was released from his Magpies contract at the end of 2007] Below, the flyer for the Houston Dynamo event tomorrow. If you are in the Houston area and can attend, let us know via the email address to the right.
Monday, February 25, 2008
Hawaii Six-One: Dynamo Gets Gamba'd, Fate of the Galaxy Not So Terrible
There are more people on the podium than in the stands.
Mea culpa: we here at Unprofessional Foul haven't exactly kept up with the Pan Pacific Championship that concluded late Saturday night. We've been too busy praying for Eduardo da Silva, and honestly, some of us are too old to stay up late watching games broadcast from Hawaii.
Here's what you need to know - Gamba Osaka beat Major League Soccer champion Houston Dynamo 6-1 and Beckham took his shirt off.
To be fair, the kids at Center Holds It contend that Dynamo doesn't come off looking that bad, and Soccernet's Andrea Canales saw some promise in the Galaxatives' play over the two matches. Hawaii didn't acquit itself well as a host though, and the future editions of the tournament will probably be held elsewhere, say, Australia. BTW, if you were Ty Harden, wouldn't you have waited until after the free trip to Hawaii to retire? Then again, if you were Ty Harden, you probably wouldn't retire from soccer to pursue philanthropy. Still, it's good to see how MLS matches up against other up-and-coming leagues, even if it's preseason, and it's about time had something like this.
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