They're alive...ALIVE. Ring the bells, sound the horns. Southampton Football Club are saved. They were close to death, breathing was slow, the pulse was weak, but now they have received the kiss of life. From a BILLIONAIRE. Lucky, lucky bastards!
I would have brought you this news yesterday but we had a massive failure similar to the one experienced in Newcastle in 1996. But we are alive and so are the Saints! The administration still means that the Saints start League One life on -10 points but the future is bright for saints fans today. Who is their saviour? The toast of the south coast? The King of Saint Mary's? All will be revealed....
"I believe we have a superb opportunity to rebuild this great club. This will require resources, planning, hard work and patience." -Southampton's new top man.
The Swiss are coming, the Swiss are coming! The Saints new owner is Mr. Markus Liebherr. He of Liebherr holdings. They of a wide array of products from cranes and excavators to the fridge in your kitchen (Well not mine, I'm more of a LG kinda guy but in many). Well good for him and good for Southampton fans. I know I'd be beside myself if Norwich found themselves with the situation that faced Saints fans this summer.
One man who was relieved yesterday was Dutch manager Mark Wotte...
"I think it looks very good, and it's about time. It's been extremely difficult, there has been lots of worrying about the future of this great club but, hopefully, we can look to a better future." -Wotte.
No more worrying about the future for Wotte! Oh wait. Southampton's new messiah sacked Wotte earlier today! Wotte way to go!
A new manager coming in and the money of a billionaire. I am truly jealous. One thing I ain't jealous of is those 10 points, the points that will see the south coast club start at the bottom of league 1 next term. But I'm sure if they can get off to a good start, they can finish in a reasonable position.
In honor of Southampton's windfall, survival and rosy future, lets all enjoy a rousing rendition of the song that only Saints fans should be singing. Suck it Spurs...
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Saints Alive!
Monday, June 22, 2009
Sex With Teens >>>> Payroll Management
It's a fun time to be on the squad at AC Milan. You just watched Kaka depart for La Liga, the Beckham circus has left town (perhaps only temporarily, but still) complete with ugly robot wife and annoying entourage, your best defender/player in club history is freshly into retirement, and your owner is an oblivious, aloof, teen-shagging, escort-hiring clown.
In the case of Andrea Pirlo, their 30-year-old irreplaceable midfielder, the 72-year-old Silvio took time to address transfer rumors with this glorious, clueless, brilliant quote: "If there's an offer, it should be considered. We'll see. I was the first to say that he must stay, but then they showed me the sums (for his salary)."
Sure, he's up to his wrinkled, liver-spotted neck in pliable, impressionable bed partners, but he's has to be more in tune with his team, doesn't he? He doesn't even know how much money his players make! Does he even know they sold Kaka? At least Roman Abramovich reads the sports pages from his giant fucking yacht.
Silvio is fast-becoming the world's first silk-pajama'd playboy Head of State/Soccer Team Owner (Kim Jong-Il doesn't count, unless he puts in a bid for Newcastle United), with the tabloids flushed and engorged with stories about lavish naked parties (seriously NSFW!) at various luxury residences, where lots of sex and champagne-quaffing takes place. Given that he's no moviemaker and he's not making a sequel to Eyes Wide Shut, the authorities have been having a poke around in case they could turn the aging debaucherer into their next high-profile trophy in court.
Regardless, it's kinda sad that he has no clue what's going on at his club. Though with his rather attractive procession of bikini-clad excuses, can we really be that mad?
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Zola begins his pint-sized reign at Upton Park
Well, it's official, after days and days of feverish, frantic interviews by Icelandic billionaire owner Bjorgolfur Gudmundsson, the manager-less HMS West Ham has found a new skipper, albeit one who might need a booster seat or a couple of phone books in order to see over the top of the steering wheel.
Gianfranco Zola, a man with absolutely no managerial experience whatsoever, is now charged with the unenviable task of keeping the Hammers relevant and competitive amid a slew of mid-table clubs becoming richer and richer and leaving teams like West Ham struggling to stay relevant and secure. Before Zola, they were looking at a decent run, but Curbishley exited knowing full well that he was going to be undermined at every turn. It might not be physically possible to undermine the tiny Zola, but will this move succeed?
Before I go further, I am aware that Zola's at least been involved on the non-playing side of football, as his stint as assistant to fellow Chelsea teammate Pierluigi Casiraghi with the U-21s team was rather successful: one or both of 'em got the squad to the Olympics, where they lost 3-2 to Belgium. That last bit, not so good.
18 months later, he's managing an EPL team. Forgive me if his list of credentials seems rather, ahem, short.
The best quote came from West Ham managing director Scott Duxbury:"Gianfranco was a world-class player who wants his team to play exciting, attractive football, which is the West Ham way."
Out of the three candidates (Zola, ex-Hibs boss John Collins, and ex-Italy boss Roberto Donadoni), they went with the one who ultimately talked the biggest game.
I worry greatly for Gianfranco. Well, not too much, but you get the idea. EPL jobs don't exactly spring up every day, and West Ham's haste to find a replacement has led them to a guy with plenty of playing experience and leadership roles on the field, but very little proof of doing it off the field.
Is this really the best place to get his managerial start? A struggling mid-table club in the highest-profile, highest-pressure league in the world?
It took less than 2 months before Martin Jol lost his job at Spurs last season. Keegan? He lasted barely 8 months, 3 of which were the summer! Eriksson managed a single season at Eastlands before Trashcan axed him in favour of something more exciting, and we haven't even hit October yet.
Curbs and Koog are just the beginning, but considering the pressure in the EPL now, the pressure for the next-tier to keep some semblance of pace with the big-money teams, I wouldn't be surprised if Gianfranco's handed his walking papers before season's end.
Either way, the league, the Hammers, the press and the rest of us can all count on an entertaining ride.
Quoth Zola:"I know I am not the most experienced manager, but I have ideas and have been involved in football for 20 years."
We all look forward to seeing them. If he can teach Matthew Etherington to do this below, he might just be manager for life.
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