It's a fun time to be on the squad at AC Milan. You just watched Kaka depart for La Liga, the Beckham circus has left town (perhaps only temporarily, but still) complete with ugly robot wife and annoying entourage, your best defender/player in club history is freshly into retirement, and your owner is an oblivious, aloof, teen-shagging, escort-hiring clown.
In the case of Andrea Pirlo, their 30-year-old irreplaceable midfielder, the 72-year-old Silvio took time to address transfer rumors with this glorious, clueless, brilliant quote: "If there's an offer, it should be considered. We'll see. I was the first to say that he must stay, but then they showed me the sums (for his salary)."
Sure, he's up to his wrinkled, liver-spotted neck in pliable, impressionable bed partners, but he's has to be more in tune with his team, doesn't he? He doesn't even know how much money his players make! Does he even know they sold Kaka? At least Roman Abramovich reads the sports pages from his giant fucking yacht.
Silvio is fast-becoming the world's first silk-pajama'd playboy Head of State/Soccer Team Owner (Kim Jong-Il doesn't count, unless he puts in a bid for Newcastle United), with the tabloids flushed and engorged with stories about lavish naked parties (seriously NSFW!) at various luxury residences, where lots of sex and champagne-quaffing takes place. Given that he's no moviemaker and he's not making a sequel to Eyes Wide Shut, the authorities have been having a poke around in case they could turn the aging debaucherer into their next high-profile trophy in court.
Regardless, it's kinda sad that he has no clue what's going on at his club. Though with his rather attractive procession of bikini-clad excuses, can we really be that mad?
Monday, June 22, 2009
Sex With Teens >>>> Payroll Management
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Silvio Berlusconi's trending younger these days
AC Milan has had a lot of success under Berlusconi; in his two tenures (1986-2004 and 2006-), the Rossonieri have done well. Whether the Italian people have prospered with him as prime minister is another matter.
But none of that concerns UF today. We're more interested in how the 18-year-old girls of Italy are doing under his tutelage. Are their needs being met? Are they looked after, loved, cared for?
With one story that broke today, we might well find out. One thing's for certain: his wife isn't very pleased.
(mildly NSFW pic below... just some lingerie)
So Silvio, with his busy schedule of AC board meetings and running the country without conflict of interest, has been a little absent at home, missing his own childrens' birthday parties here and there, but he found time in his hectic life to attend the 18th birthday party for the daughter of a family friend, who also happens to be a lingerie model. Yeah -- and he bought her a gold necklace and gave her a signed picture of himself. A signed fucking picture! Of himself!
The girl, Noemi Letizia (pictured above with necklace and below with no clothes), sees nothing wrong with this: 'It was a lovely surprise to see the man I call Papi (daddy) at my party. I call him Papi but of course he is second to my father. He gave me a lovely necklace as a present.'
Yep, nothing wrong with this relationship whatsoever. Just an attractive young woman who enjoys being semi-naked, and her "little daddy teacher."
On her bedside table was prominently displayed a signed photograph of Berlusconi as well as a book in which he had written a dedication to her saying: 'To my little Noemi, my little graphic artist, your little daddy teacher.'"
But it gets better.
The article also documents Berlusconi's latest scheme to revive his popularity, something so brilliant that it's incredible no-one thought of it sooner (or at least parodied it): picking attractive young women to be politicians! After all, what's better: someone with tons of policy experience, or someone who's lovely to look at?
Send supermodels to Iraq, Mr. Berlusconi. Sure, some of 'em will get beheaded for their sins, but a few just might be able to broker a truce if they flash a little bit of chest. After all, it's part of his plan to put out "youthful young faces" in June's European elections.
He's earmarked (and possibly bum-marked) the following, none of whom have any political experience, and might struggle even to spell the word:
- soap actress Camilla Ferranti, 30
- TV star Eleonora Gaggioli, 29
- ex-Big Brother contestant Angela Sozio, 31
- former Miss Italy candidate Barbera Matera, 28.
(pictures of all of 'em in that article)
That's where his wife, Veronica Lario, chimed in via email:"Someone wrote that all this is to sustain the enjoyment of the Emperor. I agree with this - what has emerged is shameful trash, all in the name of power. I want it to be made clear that my children and I are victims of this situation and do not agree with it, we have to put up with it and suffer with it."
Veronica and Silvio have had spats in the past, but always managed to kiss and make up.
Personally, I just can't wait to see what pisses her off next time.
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