Doesn't A European Superleague Sound Fun?

Michel loves to see his name everywhere.

Talk of a European Superleague has arisen once again, and once more Michel Platini finds himself in the middle. He has recently been quoted as saying:

"If it was up to me, I would revert to European Cups as they were at the beginning, with just knockout rounds. But we must listen carefully to any suggestion. If (clubs) come and talk to us [about Superleague play], we would listen to them and then decide.”

Despite his recent concerns about the influence of big money on football, Platini has been forced to admit that the European Superleague may become a reality rather than his preference for a return to the European Cup. With estimates that the Superleague would have 10 times the earning potential of the Champions League and the UEFA Cup combined (which it would replace), it is unclear how the new format would fit in with Platini's ideas regarding financial equality within (and among) domestic leagues.

The European Club Association, which represents 137 of the top clubs in Europe, has proposed the Superleague as a 3-division championship with relegation/promotion, comprised of: (1) 4 teams each from the EPL (suck it, Barclay's!), La Liga, and Serie A; (2) 3 teams each from Ligue 1 and the Bundesliga; and (3) 1 team each from Eredivisie, Portuguese Liga, and the Greek Super League. Although rumours currently have Manchester United, Real Madrid, Barcelona, Inter, AC Milan (although CEO Adriano Galliani has denied it), Porto, and Lyon all on board with the proposal, the European Club Association has categorically denied that the Superleague was on the agenda at their most recent meeting.

UEFA has also denied that the European Superleague was discussed at their latest meeting, arguing that the very idea is against Platini's "philosophy" of football. This is a relief to many who feel that the rise of the Superleague would mean the diminishment of domestic leagues. The prevailing wisdom has been that these leagues would remain intact, but would be forced to reduce the number of matches played during a season to allow for the increased rigors of the Superleague.

This current talk reminds many of what happened in 1992, when the G14 clubs threatened to breakaway and essentially forced UEFA to launch the Champions League (precisely at the same time as the establishment of the current EPL system).
Interestingly, it has been suggested that these machinations regarding the Superleague come from several Spanish clubs who are in serious financial difficulties (Villareal, anyone?) as they would hope to benefit from the increased monies.

Regardless of how these ideas came to be, and whether or not they are currently being taken seriously at the highest levels, it is clear that the financial climate coupled with EPL dominance of Champions League play will stir these discussion to continue.

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Rome: Come for the Stabbings, Stay for the Football

Question: What's the difference between a stabbing and a 'stabbing'?

No, that's not rhetorical and this isn't a riddle (and yes, I know the pic has little nothing to do with the post).

According to Sky Sports an Arsenal fan was "stabbed" on the way to the Roma match yesterday. The good news is that, after receiving medical attention, the fan was able to watch the game.

But the events leading up to the stabbing are a bit bizarre as the fan was on a private coach that was attacked:

The minibus in which the fan was travelling is understood to have lost its way en route to the Stadio Olimpico for the second leg encounter. Roma fans started to attack the vehicle before one is alleged to have got on to the bus when the situation escalated.

The gratuitous quotes for "stabbing" might result from a British Embassy spokesperson who said they were uncertain whether there was indeed a stabbing or the injury was merely the result of glass from a shattered window as Roma fans threw rocks at the vehicle.

Okay, we joke. And about almost everything. In fact, if the stabbing involved Cheryl and Ashley Cole, we'd find no end of amusement in it (assuming of course it was the former who stabbed the latter). Not that domestic violence is funny, but Ashley Cole is a twat.

Fans stabbing fans, eh. That's a little less funny, particularly in light of two things. First were the recent attacks on Sri Lankan cricketers in Pakistan. In fact, Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger raised concerns about the safety of his team vis a vis such an attack. Additionally, as one pointed out by one UF'er, the Champions League final will be held in Rome this year.

This isn't the first time that Roma Ultras have taken to stabbing British opposition. In '06 three 'Boro fans we knifed before a EUFA Cup quarter. The following year ago, several ManU fans were stabbed near the Stadio Olympico.

And yesterday's incident is on the heels of (unrelated) of two Chelsea fans being stabbed in Turin before Tuesday's return leg against Juventus. Now, this is almost funny because the Spartak London supporters were stabbed in the ass.

There's no chance of the final being moved (even after yesterday's incident). Still, shouldn't fan safety be a greater immediate concern for Sepp Blatter and Michel Platini than how many foreign players are in the Arsenal squad? Especially because there's a history of it in the city where you are holding your sport's marquee non-International event?

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In Defense (?) of Platini

Platini: Evil genius? Idiot? Both?

This past Wednesday, UEFA president Michel Platini gave a speech to a meeting of the European Parliament in Brussels. While we here at UF have been known to get in a jab or two (or 17) at Michel (and his idiotic counterpart, Sepp Blatter), I decided it was only fair to take a hard look at his speech to determine if there were any points of merit. Lord knows no one else on here will defend my countryman.

Platini addressed the MEPs (Members of European Parliament) for 90 minutes, discussing his ideas regarding several intertwined issues which he believes threaten the very values that football represents: club expenditures on player transfers and player salaries, and the exploitation of younger and younger players. Let's take these issues one at a time to examine more closely what Michel is talking about.

1. Club Expenditures on Player Transfers
Much of the hand-wringing regarding exorbitant transfer fees has lately been generated by the takeover of Manchester City by Abu Dhabi, who spent a record £50 million ($72 million) on Wayne Bridge, Nigel de Jong, and Craig Bellamy. This reached epidemic status when Man City made a record £100 million (close to $125 million at the time) offer to AC Milan for Kaka. Although the star declined the move, there was great worry that a club with that sort of financial backing could effectively outprice any competing clubs for a specific player.

Platini's argument is that "the 1%" clubs (and how did he calculate that?) dominate the television schedule, are repetitive champions in their domestic leagues (thus ensuring repeats in the Champions League), and benefit greatly from massive financial backing. Thus, the obvious solution is to implement a spending cap and the obvious (at first glance) comparison is to American sports. However, the NFL has a salary (i.e. not spending) cap, while MLB only has a luxury tax (which is routinely ignored by those teams that can afford to pay it), rather than a hard cap. The closest correlation to the need for a spending tax as proposed by Platini would be something similar to the negotiations between MLB teams and foreign players, such as the deal between the Boston Red Sox and Daisuke Matsuzaka, where the Red Sox paid $51.11 million to the Seibu Lions and $52 million to Matsuzaka.

The argument against Platini in this particular context is that imposing a spending cap is an unfair restriction of market forces. If someone can afford to pay an athlete and that athlete's former club an absurd amount of money, why should they be barred from doing so? Of course, everyone expresses mock outrage at the money spent on athletic achievement - "Why don't we pay teachers, or firemen, that much money?" Answer: Because they are not involved in privatized events, but are paid for by municipal and state governments. If we pay them more, that money will likely come in the form of higher taxes for you. Obviously, teachers and firefighters (and many others) perform functions that are immeasurably more important than athletes, but the reality is that Roman Abramovich isn't willing to outlay massive amounts of cash for sewer workers, but only for shite like Shevchenko.

So, for point #1, Platini gets an C-. It's a principle that people would agree with, in general, but one that is economically indefensible.
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2. Club Expenditures on Player Salaries
Zlatan Ibrahimovic and Kaka make €9,000,000 ($11.5 million) per year - this is above the average salary for all 30 MLB teams (direct comparison with NFL teams is next to impossible due to how salaries are constructed). So maybe Platini has a point here?

In the context of how American sports and the concept of salary restrictions relate to footy, the NFL and its salary cap are held up as examples of parity, while MLB containing clubs who are able to ignore the financial ramifications of the luxury tax is decried as a league where "the rich get richer" (by continually winning championships and getting increased exposure).

Parity in the NFL? Since 1981, the Super Bowl winners have been: (1) the San Francisco 49ers (5 times); (2) the Washington Redskins (3 times); (3) the NY Giants (3 times); (4) the Dallas Cowboys (3 times); (5) the New England Patriots (3 times); (6) the Pittsburgh Steelers (2 times); (7) the Denver Broncos (2 times); and (8) 1 win apiece for the Raiders, Bears, Packers, Rams, Ravens, Bucs, and Colts. I wouldn't exactly call it parity when 7 teams have 21 out of 28 (75%) Super Bowls.

Dominance of the rich in MLB? Since 1981, there have been 18 different winners in 27 World Series, with only 8 teams as multiple winners and only the New York Yankees having won more than 2 (4 overall victories, including 3 straight from 1998-2000; I despise the Yankees).

In essence, then, the views of the NFL and MLB are not consistent with the reality of their history over the past 25-30 years. In addition, the argument against Platini here is once again that such a salary cap would be a restriction on free trade agreements across the European Union. The EU specifically allows for the free movement of workers between countries in an express attempt to allow those individuals to search for higher-paying jobs. Is Platini then saying that footballers are not entitled to those same protections?

So, for point #2, Platini gets a D. He was fantastic on the pitch, but his grasp of economics leaves a bit to be desired.
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3. The Exploitation of Young Footballers
At last we get to a point with which I agree. Platini actually received quite a bit of applause from the MEPs when he discussed the dangers of questionable recruiting practices and less-than-savory agents preying upon youngsters in less-developed countries.

"Paying a child to kick a ball is not that different from paying a child to work on a production line in a factory that makes footballs...Both amount to child labor. And when you pay the parents, when you uproot them from their home environment, when you make them emotionally disorientated, I call that child trafficking."

While this may initially seem a little dramatic, there are undoubtedly many young players who are brought to Europe from Africa every year and wind up poor and alone on the streets rather than in an academy as they were promised by "agents." Imposing stricter travel restrictions for minors into the EU, as well as providing closer regulation of football agents, will certainly help to deal with this aspect of searching for "the next Zidane."

So, for point #3, Platini gets a B-. It's an issue that everyone agrees is serious, and he appears to be passionate about, but he hasn't provided us with any ideas of substance for how to deal with it.
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This is, admittedly, a simplistic analysis of everything that Platini has proposed but I have already written a novella by Internet standards (cue the "tl;dr" comments). In essence, is Platini trying to save the game he loves, or is he simply mad with power. We'll most likely find out this summer exactly how much influence UEFA has over the EU, and how powerful Platini truly is.

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A Very Unprofessional Christmas

What does Santa Seppy Claus have in his magic sack this holiday season?

While we here at UF respect the holidays of many faiths (...any excuse to drink...), it's obvious that the 800 lb gorilla this time of year is Christmas. In my family, Christmas means one thing (two actually, if you count liberal self-medication) -- good ole fashioned consumerism. If you're part of our clan, whether by blood or relationship, my mother demands a wishlist from you. And in the interest of self-preservation, you'd had better give her one in a timely fashion.

This year, outside of the 3rd season of "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" (seriously, if you don't watch this show, do it now) and assorted Liverpool swag, I'm not really wanting for much. But that's not to say that aren't those who are, though.

So, let's take a peek at what's on the wishlists of some of our Favorites (and non-Favorites) from around the World of Football.


Roy Keane:
A new job and a razor to shave his Unabomber beard ahead of his next interview. Better yet, how about a job as the next pitchman for Gillette razors? Unfortunately, that gig comes to an abrupt end after the red mist descends and he chokes out Titi during the filming of his first commercial.

Kevin Keegan:
Forget the razor, this man just needs a job. Do you have any idea how important it is to a man's self-worth to have a job which he can quit at the first sign of trouble? In lieu of gainful employment, a fat, undeserved pay-out from Newcastle would be welcomed.

Michel Platini:
The Beatles' complete catalog and a lifetime's supply of Thomas' English Muffins, simply because he appears to depise all things English so much.

South Africa:
Luck. With 2010 looming and continued doubts over their ability to stage the next World Cup properly, they're going to need it.

Cristiano Ronaldo:
A body-length mirror to admire himself in and which will tell him who's the loveliest in all the land. Also, lessons from a six-year old on what to do when the ball is headed for your face/head.

Vinnie Jones:
A taste of his own medicine. Oh, he already got it. Then, a tampon to sop up all the blood.

Major League Soccer:
A g*ddamn clue. You don't have the talent pool for continued expansion. Why do you refuse to heed the lessons of the NASL?

Barcelona:
More of the same, please. The UF Crew collectively pities the fools who draw the Catalan club in the knock-out stages of the Champions League. [Ed. Note: And we collectively wish that our teams avoid Barca at all costs]

Sam Allardyce:
A do-over. After passing up the Sunderland job, leaving it for Roy Keane, Big Sam is hoping somebody remembers what wonders he worked at Stupid F-ing Bolton. Also, the Jawbone Bluetooth so he'll continue to look like a fast food drive-thru employee upon his return to management.

Robbie Keane:
A rich vein of form in front of goal. Despite his claim that he's not worried about himself and therefore nobody else should be, it's time for the ₤20M man to start banging them in for Liverpool.

Michael Owen:
Rescue from Newcastle. Not that he deserves it.

The UF Crew:
Handjobs. Much like Polaroid pictures and Scottish football, what once was thought to be an obsolete relic of the past is making a comeback. (Just joking, Scottish football isn't making a comeback)

So, what's on your list?

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