Is It "Alves 'Pooled or "Alves Fletchered"?

This is starting to rise to the level of a yawn as it happens almost weekly, but Alfonso Alves was robbed while Middlesbrough was out drawing with Portsmouth (courtesy of a late David James gift).

This makes the 'Boro striker footballing victim #15.

The raid is estimated to have been worth £50,000 in damage and lost belongings. The 28-year-old returned home shortly after 6pm on Saturday to find his passport stolen along with jewellery, computers, Brazil and Boro shirts, documents, pairs of shoes, and about £200 cash.

But here's where things take a turn for the unbelievable. The Daily Mail piece continues: "Liverpool midfielder Lucas, Alves's compatriot, suffered a burglary in November, while other victims include Steven Gerrard, Daniel Agger, Pepe Reina, Dirk Kuyt..." blah blah a bunch of other Liverpudlians, etc.

Anyway, Alves's compatriot? Uh, no way Lucas is Brazilian. Not a fucking chance. He's worse than Denilson.

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