Phil Brown Gets His Comeuppance

Does this man look trustworthy to you?

Remember that whole brouhaha regarding the Hull City v. Arsenal FA Cup match? Remember how Hull City were whinging about Fabregas coming onto the pitch after the match despite not having played, and how they accused him of spitting on assistant manager Brian Horton? Remember how the FA cleared poor maligned Cesc of all wrongdoing?

Yeah, suck it Phil.


The FA has decided that Phil Brown was the one who misbehaved, fining him £2,500 ($4,100) for his comments regarding Mike Riley's officiating of the FA Cup tilt against Arsenal. Brown's most notable comments after the match were not appreciated:

"We've not been beaten by Arsenal; we've been beaten by the referee and the linesman. The game was turned on its head when the referee succumbed to local pressure."

Given the steep nature of this fine, I am not quite sure how Phil will manage to maintain his daily sessions at the tanning bed. He may have to resort to laying on the beach with common folk.

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Seriously, another late season collapse?

Not pictured: silverware

At first, its easy to rationalize dropping points against lower tier opposition. After all, it must get old having to face teams that are always playing for the 0-0 draw and sticking eleven behind the ball. The JJB rugby ground is also a bit of a letdown from the San Siro. But then, as your Milan-destroying side fails to break down miserable Wigan, you realize that maybe the title really is going to slip away this year, again. And of course losing to the dilettante club across town on the same day as Manchester United make easy work of Liverpool pretty much confirms it. Arsenal are done in the EPL this year. Again.

Yes Mr. Wenger just got out-managed by a guy whose resume prior to this year was coaching the Israeli U-11 girls team. Avram just popped his big club cherry today. Terrific. Maybe if Arsene wasn't so fucking wed to his tactics, which only work in good weather, on a perfect pitch, or against naive European opposition, then Arsenal might actually be able to beat the likes of Villa, Birmingham, Boro, or Wigan. Guess what, I don't care how great a find that kid Wenger bought from Lens is, ok? Or about that awesome 16 year old playing the reserves who is totally going to be great in five years, after a spell on loan at St. Etienne. How about having a squad that actually contains depth? You know, like all of Arsenal's rivals for the Premiership. Chelsea can throw out internationals two deep at every position, while Manchester United spend tens of millions of pounds buying some Portuguese orgy buddies for Ronaldo. Fuck, the Manc squad players like Wes Brown and Darren Fletcher are better than anything Arsenal has on the bench (in terms of coming on and contributing as a sub), and always seem to score in crucial games.

I'm not talking about splashing out 25 million pounds to buy Benzama from Lyon this summer, or trying to pry Diego away from Werder Bremen or Ribery from Bayern (although he would look a hell of lot better than Eboue out wide). I'm talking about spending 10 million pounds, max, and getting a couple of veteran, proven EPL players who can come off the bench and nick a goal late in games. Yes, that means Wenger may have to buy players he hasn't coveted since they were 12 ( dirty old man), and who learned to play a bit more traditional English style. As Lingering Bursitis put it this week, Arsenal need a backup plan for when Cesc decides to sulk his way through a game because he doesn't like getting kicked. How much would it cost to buy Roque Santa Cruz from Blackburn, who shockingly has 12 EPL goals this year? Or how about Julio Arca? I'm sure Wenger and his scouts could turn up a ton of players across Europe who fit the bill and would be relatively cheap. But dear god, I want some experience.

Seriously, though, now that Emirates is finished and raking in cash like Ashley Dupre, it might be time to have a squad bigger than 17, and actually make a run at the EPL. I don't want to hear what a miracle it is that such an inexpensive side was leading the league for so long this year against the juggernaut from Manchester. Arsenal are a big club and should be in the hunt every season. At some point, Arsenal's pussy whipped board of directors might actually consider the end of season table, instead of listening to the sycophant London press, when evaluating Wenger's performance. And no, winning the Champions League won't make up for the March swoon.

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Douchebag Proves Even Bigger Douchebag

Some people are just born douchebags. Joe Starkey is one of those people. The Longview, Washington resident, teacher and soccer coach was arrested this week on charges of having sex with a 15-year old student. Starkey is alleged to have admitted he slept with a 15 year-old female runaway that was staying at his apartment. Grade A douchebag right there.

Students at his school were shocked to learn of Starkey's arrest.

Most students at R.A. Long High School say Starkey was a great teacher and coach and they are surprised he would be charged with having sex with a minor.

From the report:

“He was really cool. You could talk to him about a lot of stuff. During practice he would help you with math and stuff if you needed it,” R.A. Long High School student Alysha said. “I don’t know why he’d do that. It’s crazy. I mean, he’s smarter than that.”

No shit he was "cool" to the students. He wanted to get in their pants. Clearly, he wasn't "smarter than that."

I have found Starkey's MySpace page and it is full of interesting tidbits. First, he is a practicing Catholic:

I am a practicing Catholic, and have every intention of staying that way for quite a while, and would not mind meeting someone willing to go to church with me or practice their faith with me. Don't get me wrong, though, I would love to meet other people, too.

Second, boy has he met some other people. Just check out these photos. [Ed. Note: Someone asked who were in the photos. On the left, Mr. Belding. On the right, Carlos Mencia and Weeman] [ 2nd Ed. Note: That's not Wee Man...it's Brad Williams]:

It's obvious that this guy was born with a terminal case of douchebag-itis. Maybe he didn't sleep with the girl but all signs still point to d-bag.

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