Phil Brown Gets His Comeuppance

Does this man look trustworthy to you?

Remember that whole brouhaha regarding the Hull City v. Arsenal FA Cup match? Remember how Hull City were whinging about Fabregas coming onto the pitch after the match despite not having played, and how they accused him of spitting on assistant manager Brian Horton? Remember how the FA cleared poor maligned Cesc of all wrongdoing?

Yeah, suck it Phil.


The FA has decided that Phil Brown was the one who misbehaved, fining him £2,500 ($4,100) for his comments regarding Mike Riley's officiating of the FA Cup tilt against Arsenal. Brown's most notable comments after the match were not appreciated:

"We've not been beaten by Arsenal; we've been beaten by the referee and the linesman. The game was turned on its head when the referee succumbed to local pressure."

Given the steep nature of this fine, I am not quite sure how Phil will manage to maintain his daily sessions at the tanning bed. He may have to resort to laying on the beach with common folk.

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UF Quick Throw: "Back and to the Left" or "Fabregas Cleared"

The FA thinks Brian Horton is a big, fat liar. Or at least that's the inference we're making as they cleared Cesc Fabregas of both improper conduct charges levied against him by Hull City FC (the biggie being that he spat on Horton).

The verdict was apparently handed down a week ago but the FA asked all parties to keep it on the DL. This means Phil "I'm Orange Not" Brown is likely be the only person to receive a disciplinary beat down from the FA.

Ha ha.

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Relegation: it's full of conspiracies

For all the perceived machismo in soccer (C-Ron not withstanding), it can descend into banter and vicious gossip more in tune with that of the local sewing circle. And with the final EPL weekend of 2008/09 looming on the horizon, the brewing discontent on Tyneside is hard to ignore.

It's also rather hilarious.

Right off the bat, Alan Shearer, he of the bland punditry and blander managerial nous, is pointing fingers in the direction of Sir Alex Ferguson and threatening to tell teacher that he's not playing fair.

With United's trophy secured and a more important Champions League final to prepare for, there's every chance that Fergie's side will be rather, ahem, depleted in their final league game against Hull City. Of course, Hull are right there in the dogpile for the drop, and Shearer's not happy that the perma-tanned microphone wearer Phil Brown might have an advantage in the fight for survival.

Of course, we'd be remiss in mentioning that the Magpies have had countless opportunities to climb out of the hole since Alan's arrival, and that Shearer should spend his Monday evening watching hours of Aston Villa game tape instead. One win and 2 draws in his 7 games as Newcastle boss isn't very good, is it?

What we forgot to mention was the "special" relationship between Ferguson and Brown, presumably derived from the latter's constant attempts to rattle Arsenal's cage. Fergie helped Phil get a job at Derby County back in 2005, and the two have enjoyed a friendship for many years. There's also the whisper that SAF still loathes Alan for turning down an offer to play for Man United back in the 90s. Considering the grudge-holding reputation of the drunk Scot, I wouldn't be surprised at all.

As one would expect, Phil is mumbling pleasantries and the usual pre-match jingo about "expecting no favours" and "working hard" and "it won't be easy." On the inside, he knows it will be simple, although given the Tigers' form since October 28th (2 wins and 9 draws in their last 28), they'd have a hard time beating the United U-10s.

Meanwhile, in his high chair at St. James's, Alan wonders whether he'll get any help from his Match of the Day cohort, Martin O'Neill. The prognosis appears grim. Shearer is trying to get Bassong's red card overturned so he can play in the final game (good luck with that, Alan), but other than that, there ain't much sunshine in their future.

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Phil Brown Has A Helluva Son

There's a silver lining ahead for Hull City Manager Phil Brown: In the Championship nobody will give a shit about your kids.

But for now the Tigers are still in the EPL (suck it, Barclays) and still above the drop. So you get to know that Phil Brown's kid, Jamie, is a cokehead.

Brown, 49, told the Hull Daily Mail he was concentrating on saving the struggling side from relegation despite the arrest and caution of his son Jamie for possession of drugs.

That's laudable and all and probably what the fans want to here, but maybe the fact that you seem to be indicating the team is more important than your family is the reason your kid is doing rails in the bathroom of a Newcastle nightclub to begin with.

To be honest, this isn't really that big of a deal. A line of blow is apparently now cheaper than a pint in England. They're both drugs. One just happens to be legal. And it's not like he was caught with 50 kilos.

It's not even that he was caught that makes this worth bringing up, it's how he was caught. The 25-year-old Jamie Brown was picked up after being found slumped over outside of a club. Huh? Dude, cocaine is suppose to wire you. Are you sure you're doing it right?

But there's one critical difference between Brown's son and his team. At least his son knows how to score. Zing!

Anyway, add "model father" to the things you can predicate to Phil Brown along with "captain of a sinking ship," and "orange."

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