Someone please give the faculty at the University of St Andrews something to occupy their time as, in the absence of any meaningful science to be done in Scotland, they've come up with the above image.
It's a computer composite of Wayne and Colleen Rooney's child. The baby isn't due for another 3 months, but thanks to the Scots we already know it's going to be hideous. Seriously, that's a girl? It's looks like a Baby Koresh.
From the News of the World: "Last night scientist Ian Stephen said: "'It should be fun to see what their child looks like in 12 months' time. I think the images we have produced should be pretty spot-on.'"
If it is spot on, it will be the opposite of fun to look at that thing. Is infanticide still legal in Britain?
Sorry Scotland, but Free To Be had this one nailed back in the early 1970s. These are Wayne Rooney's kids.
When you first catch sight of your firstborn Wayne, just remember that it's alright to cry.
Monday, July 13, 2009
Unhealthy Fascination with Celebrity Babies Reaches Creepy New High
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Wayne Rooney loves United (just not for his son)
Rooney's childhood room, decked out in Everton gear. No word on whether his mum grounded him for not tidying it up before he went to trainingEngland's young, fiery troglodyte has been doing some interior design at his swanky Cheshire pad, in anticipation of his first child (the one that's currently punching corner flags deep in Coleen's placenta). Apparently, if the baby is a boy, he'll whip out the blue paint and prep a neat shrine to Everton.
But he still loves United, just to be sure.
Says the ubiquitous "club insider":
"Wayne has been walking on cloud nine ever since the news — he and Coleen can’t wait. The lads are all made up for him but Wazza insists the baby will follow Everton, no matter what. Wayne had to make do with posters of his hero Duncan Ferguson on the walls of his old home. He wants the little one to have the ultimate boy’s bedroom. Coleen will definitely be having the last say though. If it’s a girl she will insist on a fairytale castle for her Little Princess."An Everton shrine, or a fairytale castle? If I were that boy, I think I'd choose the castle.
Still, it's one of those fluttering, space-filling stories in a week surprisingly damp for intrigue, despite all the CL 2nd legs taking place today and tomorrow.
One thing is for sure: they'll spend more money on the room than they do on dinner out.
Read more on "Wayne Rooney loves United (just not for his son)"...
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
England's Dirk Kuyt Wins Fan Award
England's Dirk Kuyt was voted the 2008 Player of the Year for the Three Lions by the fans. Rooney's reign caps a stellar 2008 for the Three Lions that was capped off by a non-appearance in Euro 2008. The year also saw the return of Goldenballs to the squad. This award comes at a great time with Rooney's recent triumphs over a traitorous corner flag.
Let's just compare how the Original Dirk Kuyt and England's Dirk Kuyt fared for their respective national teams.
Dirk Kuyt's Euro 2008
Games 4 Goals 1 Assists 2
England's Dirk Kuyt Euro 2008
[crickets and tumbleweeds]
That was enlightening.
Monday, March 23, 2009
UF Quick Throw: Rooney Gets a Slap on the Wrist
Apropos of the Fan's Attic post yesterday, England's greatest hope Wayne "Chav" Rooney has escaped further punishment from the FA because he didn't curse at Phil Dowd (?). However, Rooney will still miss Man U's game against Villa, and he was issued a formal warning about not punching corner flags. Respec'!!
[Sky Sports]
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Rooney Shows Us What The Respect Campaign Is All About
I refused to write this post before the Liverpool - Aston Villa match today so as not to tempt the fates, but as I write it is 3-0 Liverpool at halftime. Karma be damned!! (It's now 4-0!!! Now it's 5-0!!)
Yesterday, Wayne Rooney displayed he is world class in the 2-0 loss to Fulham. World class hothead liability. The England striker came on at halftime for Dimitar Berbatov and proved to be a dangerous player--dangerous to ManU's title chances as he was sent off for a petulant second yellow late in the match. It was the table toppers second red in the match and means Rooney, Scholes and Vidic will all miss the next league match and possibly Evra due to yellow card accumulation. Berbatov may also miss the match due to injury.
The temerity of Rooney is unbelievable. Rooney was already sitting on a yellow and believed his second was undeserved despite his javelin throw of the ball at the ref. His actions lacked any decency and then piles on top of it with a verbal assault on Dowd. Any protestations the cards were undeserved are meritless and quite obviously given by those with red-tinted glasses.
Rooney topped it all off by with a right cross to the corner flag on his way out.
Unfortunately, this is not a new story with Rooney who has shown himself repeatedly incapable of restraining his emotions on the pitch or having any thought about the repercussions of his actions. I like to tease one of my English mates that Rooney is England's Dirk Kuyt because they both are tireless workers on the pitch, running end to end, defending, and blessed with unfortunate looks. Lo and behold Kuyt has 8 goals and 4 assists in the league this season compared to Rooney's 9 goals and 4 assists. Rooney leads in red cards too.
This is really an unfair comparison to Kuyt though because the Dutchman will never hurt you on the pitch with childish antics like Rooney. And, to compare Rooney to a world class striker is utterly ridiculous at this moment. I recently had a large debate about Ibrahimovic and his status as a world class player and my counterpart had him lower than Rooney.
I say bollocks because Ibrahimovic has never been a huge detriment to his club like Shrek. Until Rooney can keep a cool head he will never be a world class player and frankly I don't think this boy-man has ever been a position requiring him to change as everbody has indulged his antics because of his talent and potential. I don't believe he will be able to change now, although I hope he will.
[Photos: The Guardian]
Thursday, February 26, 2009
UF After Dark: He's Still About a Hundred and Fifty Pounds Shy of Being Divine
What good are family for if not to embarrass the God fearing tar out of you?
That John Waters lab experiment gone amiss is actually Wayne Rooney's cousin, Stephen.
He puts on women's clothing and hangs around in bars.
If only it stopped there. According to the accompanying article—and we use that term in the loosest sense possible as the Sun piece is all of a 65-word blurb (hope their writers aren't paid by the word)—the coattail riding 25-year-old not only "regularly dons skirts and frilly knickers to become Coleen Smellybean, a cheeky reference to the Man U star’s wife Coleen, on nights out" but he's also recorded a song or something as his alter queen ego.
It's a pretty good 65 words though as there is still a reference to something called the Tranny Shack.
There are more pics and more embarrassing cousins to be found here (totally NSFW as there is boobage, both male and female) .
If you're too scared for your job to click the second link we can give you this lovely shot of Rooney cousins Steve and Natalie. If you can manage before you have to look away, get a glimpse of the massive Everton tat on his arm.
Okay, just want to make sure you get a good enough look that you have nightmares, too.
Friday, February 13, 2009
Common People: Part II
Hey remember last week when Wayne and Colleen Rooney used a half-off voucher at a local eatery because they were such regular down to earth folks despite being worth £35M?
No? Well, here's a refresher.
Anyway, it turns out the Rooneys really are everyday people just like you and me. And to prove it, Colleen (that's the quartering back shot of her above) spent the night in a £2000 per hotel suite. Sweet.
Even better it caught fire.
Okay the story is just about how her hotel suite had an electrical fire (wow, that's a high power blow dryer). Despite the smoke and the flames, fortunately, no harm was done to either Mrs. Rooney or her stuff. But the article does mention the cost of the room. And that little tidbit makes a nice bookend to the story from last week about Wayne wanting to save less than £15.
In fairness, Colleen Rooney probably isn't ponying up the money for the suite. You are. Sort of. Follow us here.
Rooney was in London filming for a new reality modeling show. So the cost of the hotel was probably covered by the production budget. ITV spends that money. And when the show goes to air, they charge advertisers (hopefully) more than it cost to produce and air. That's how they make money. The companies advertising hopefully intend to sell products, and the cost of that advertising winds up in those very products that you buy. So, if you buy anything advertised on that show, you're kind of paying for her hotel room. More or less.
The Rooneys. They should be their own reality series. Do they have that yet? Because people would totally watch them drink and dance and screw.
Monday, February 9, 2009
Celebrities, Just Like You and Me... If You're A Cheap Bastard
As the entire world continues to get a mild contact high from the fumes of the smoldering economic ruins—gotta find some benefit— it's good to know that the rich and famous are there to do their part to assuage our collective pains.
Or not.
Exhibit A: Wayne Rooney. Multi-millionaire. World class footballer. Cheap bastard.
The Satan Manchester United striker—hey, they're the ones that made the Red Devil their mascot—took his lovely wife Colleen out for dinner, and proceeded to use a 50% off coupon when the bill came. This despite the couple being worth as estimated £35M.
From the News of the World article:
He and wife Coleen got their £27.80 food bill slashed to just £13.90.Let's just assume that last question isn't rhetorical and perhaps provide a possible answer.
A source told the News of the World: “Everybody loves a special offer. Wayne and Coleen are no different. They come from working class roots and if they had the voucher then why not use it?"
How about: Because you have all the fucking money, so as others struggle to pay rent and stuff, maybe try helping the restaurant and it's employees stay solvent by parting with .000004% of your net worth?
What's really appalling is how the piece fawns over the pair for being a "normal down-to-earth couple" before going into some details over their income. The highlight being perhaps the £3.5M Rooney has raked in (thus far) for a 12-year, five-book deal.
Most normal people don't get multi-million dollar (or pound) multi-book deals, particularly when they are borderline illiterate from having spent their youth in football academies instead of, you know, school.
America, is this a great country or what? Okay, it's England, but still. If the Rooneys are really that cheap, perhaps they should stay in and have dinner at home. The one that's probably cooked by their private chef (yep, just like regular folk).
On the plus side, Gusto, the restaurant, has probably gotten more than £13.90 in free advertising out of the deal. Read more on "Celebrities, Just Like You and Me... If You're A Cheap Bastard"...
Thursday, January 15, 2009
UF Quick Throw: Rooney hurt
Young Wayne scored the winner for Man U last night in the first minute, and then pulled up lame in the 10th. Diagnosis: hammy knack, and a minimum of three weeks on the sidelines.
Not good for a team just hitting their stride... of course, I'm hoping it gets worse.
[BBC Sport]
Monday, December 15, 2008
Shrek Is Let Off the Hook for Stamping on an Aaaaaalborg Player
Okay, maybe we just needed an excuse to publish more Shrek pictures, but UEFA has let one Wayne Rooney off the hook for aggressively stamping accidentally stepping on an Aaaaaaalborg player last week.
Your requisite rhetorical question: Would it have been the same result if it had been a Man U player who was stepped on?
(photo credit: NY Times)
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Lesson Learned: Don't anger Wayne Rooney
There are several unwavering lessons in soccer: never bet against the Germans, if you're going to tackle from behind, make sure it counts, and the latest one: don't mess with Wayne Rooney. If the irascible, potato-headed striker gets frustrated or flustered, well, let's just say the results aren't pretty.
Yesterday's unlucky recipient of this logic was Aab Aalborg midfielder Kasper Risgaard, who received his wisdom via flying feet and cleat marks somewhere in the chest region.
To the tape! And, to the post-match quotes!
First, the video evidence. I am not a physicist by any means, but there's more than just gravity at work there. Perhaps a soupcon of malice? Wayne was surely irritated at his side's scrappy performance against the eliminated Danish side, not to mention the lack of success in front of goal at Old Trafford. The video shows a couple of other incidents, including a baffling kick on a defender with the ball nowhere near, and some shoving with a defender once the ball has gone. I'm not saying he should be sent off, but there's some middle ground there! The ref didn't do a thing!
Unsurprisingly, everyone's weighing in, including coaches and players.
We get the victim's response first. What say you, young Risgaard?"I don’t know what he was thinking but he jumped on my chest. I don’t know why but I think he was a little bit frustrated. But I don’t understand it because they were playing good football and the score was 1-1 at the time. Anywhere else but here and it would have been a red card. But the referee didn’t say anything. I think referees are frightened to punish players at Old Trafford, and especially players like Rooney. But I can see the marks on my chest - big marks. He’s apologized, so that’s OK. But there was another incident too when he used his arm to hurt one of our players. I don’t think it looks good on television."
Fair point about Old Trafford, and there is definitely something about Rooney and his temper that we've seen before that makes me wonder. He's a fiery player (in the best and worst sense of the word), but it looks like he did get lucky with this one.
Aalborg manager Allan Kuhn was also non-committal as to intent, although upon further review (something that UEFA said they might do as both linesmen and the referee missed the incident) he might change his mind:It is not good for a fantastic footballer. You have to keep your head and stay calm in situations like that - but that man was a little bit frustrated. I was not sure during the game and I have not seen the pictures, so I cannot be 100% sure, but some of my people have seen it and said it was."
Of course Fergie looked at it the other way: AaB were the dirty ones, not Wayne! "Aalborg are not short of tackles are they? They got stuck in and the one on Carlos was a blatant attack. Probably what saved him was that Carlos got straight up."
You have to admire the man's ability to deflect and change the subject completely. What we should be talking about is the goalkeeper's tackle on Tevez, not young Wayne!
Will anything come of this? Probably not - the news cycle is fickle and fast-paced like that. But it still merits some debate, mainly because Rooney is that type of character, capable of moments of brilliance and moments of madness at any given time. We've seen it in an Everton shirt, in the England shirt, and plenty of times in Manc red.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Capello, the Simple Fellow.
Belarus 1 England 3
-----
4 games, 14 goals, 12 points. Job done.
England's 3-1 win in Minsk last night filled old Bigus with confidence. Not just another 3 points, but the reassurance that Fabio Capello knows what he is doing.
And just what is it that England's super Italian is doing? Keeping it simple!
Sven favored a defensive approach and that arse clown McClaren scratched his bonce routinely, searching for an idea, but Fabio Capello has plenty of those and they have led to winning ways.
For starters, Capello has found a line-up he likes and has given them time to gel. While Sven was successful in qualifying, he tinkered with the line-up and found it hard to find a front two he bellieved in. McClaren was so inept in his selection, he would change formations from one game to the next, whereas Capello has been the complete opposite: stoic and determined in his ways. It's a breath of fresh air. No Owen? How dare he! Crouch on the bench? Tough. "I am Capello and I like Heskey!"
Whilst Fabio still struggles to accomodate Gerrard and Lampard, he has found security in the rest of his improving 4-4-2. Rooney and Heskey understand each other up front and the back four have been consistent. The back line has become inter-changeable and deep under Capello. No Terry? No Cole? NO PROBLEM. Upson and Bridge were the latest pieces to the party and both looked comfortable in Minsk.
Where Capello's simplicity has paid off has been in Englands substitutions. He does not tinker with the shape of the team during a game. Walcott off? Shaun Wright Phillips on. Heskey off? Crouch on. Like-for-like changes that have helped England stay consistent in their endeavours and top of their qualification group, a group that looked fairly trecherous when it was drawn. Ukraine and Croatia are no pushovers!
The midfield conundrum is an entirely different matter for Capello. Who would not want to partner the best two central midfielders in the country? It's a poser that will continue to haunt this current England squad all the way to the World Cup. Gerrard was excellent last night but it's clear that he and Lampard find it extremelly difficult to connect with one another.
But as Fabio wrangles with his midfield, he can find comfort in the rest of his side. Heskey and Rooney look comfortable together as do their back-ups, Crouch and Defoe, and the back four look set with plenty of positional depth on the bench.
Belarus's only goal last night came from a defensive lapse as Brown was caught napping at the back post, but such a lapse can be tolerated when your side looks comfortable every time they move forward. And England did, especially in the second half. Even with the odd couple sharing space in the midfield, England looked comfortable. Walcott struggled at times but the youngster's treble in Zagreb has given him a HUGE reputation to live up to, and England fans MUST be patient.
The opening goal of last night's match came early after the exceptional Rooney turned his marker and moved into space only to spot Gerrard rushing to the ball. He backed off and the resulting shot from 30 yards was unstoppable, finding its way into the bottom-right corner of the net.
20 minutes later England fell asleep briefly and paid the price as Belarus found a way into the box and a cheeky Igor Stasevich cross found Pavel Sitko unmarked as Wes Brown watched on.
After that, it was all England. Heskey worked the ball wide on 50 minutes and crossed low for Rooney to finish to make it 2-1 and England continued to press.
Rooney capped an outstanding outing with a brilliant solo effort with 15 or so minutes remaining, taking on two players before wrong-footing the keeper and sticking the ball in at the near post.
Rooney has 5 goals in the last 3 games and has been nothing short of a revelation for England of late. He is still 22! Hard to believe, eh? He seems to have been around forever! He has found a true partner in Emile Heskey and he is making the most of it.
England should have scored a fourth towards the end of last night's game but Gerrard refused to acknowledge his left foot as he was put through to an empty goal. The outside of his right boot found the post. A simple left-footed swipe would have found the net with ease.
Overall Capello has to be pleased. He doesn't have an obvious answer to the great midfield question that graces every breakfast table debate in England, but at this point, who cares?
Croatia away? Done. Belarus away? Done. Kazakhstan? Done. As my mate Garry 'Hoops' would say, "job's a good 'un!"
England sit at the top of the heap today, 5 points clear of Croatia with a confidence they have been lacking in recent times.
I for one have been impressed with Capello's attitude and team selection. The players seem happy and the goals are flowing. There is finally a consitency to the line up and bench.
The simple truth is, if it ain't broke, don't fix it. It's that simple. It's Capello simple.
- Bigus.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Where in the world is Wayne Rooney?
You can surely file this missive under the "Too Early" label, but it's still a point worth mentioning: what on earth has happened to Wayne Rooney? He's been on a rather troubling trajectory of late, and his growing anonymity in games is close to rivaling the disappearances of England teammate Frank Lampard. Where's the hustle, the influence, the pace, the tenacity? Perhaps he left them all at the beach with Coleen?
As far as his career is going, he's at a difficult age. Considering when he came into the league, he's still incredibly young, but time served dictates that he should be emerging into one of the world's top players at this point. He's had great managers, great teammates, and all the opportunities in the world to take his skills to the highest possible level. Of course I'm not ruling out that he'll still get there, but his rather lackluster form is troubling the masses.
The papers and the blogs are beginning to touch the story, so I figured I'd have a go. My solution is relatively simple: he needs to leave Manchester United.
The Guardian is the first to point out the delicate situation unfolding, noting that Fergie isn't really doing a good job in figuring out what to do with young Wayne, or how to curb his natural tendencies to backtrack when he's needed as a striker. For them, the answer is simple: buy another striker.
Right, it's that simple, isn't it? The process of solving problems via spending has worked, with varying degrees of success, the other big English clubs, and it seems like whenever they have a down year, Barca and Real simply open the purse and let their wheeling-dealing fix any issues they couldn't battle out of before.
However, time is ticking on that window, and the Berbatov mess is now worse than the Gareth Barry quicksand that sapped our energy all summer long.
This guy sums things up a bit, but leaves us on a cliffhanger, although he does point to two other articles that present another side to an already complex problem.
Again, the Guardian looks at Rooney's wandering tendencies as being part of the problem, and miraculously, they get Fergie to open up on the subject! Normally he would let his lacky deal with any unpleasantness, but Queiroz is long gone back to Portugal...This is something we are talking to Wayne about and he himself has started to identify that it's a weakness. It is not a bad thing for him to have come out [after England's 2-2 draw against the Czech Republic] and said so.
Well, if we're being brutally honest, you can fault that, especially if it's stopping Manchester United from being the offensive juggernaut they and their fans have come to expect.
He is realising he needs to be more around the edge of the box in the last third of play. It can be a waste of energy chasing from man to man to man. But that's his natural enthusiasm and you can't fault that."
Meanwhile, another perspective offers word from young Wayne himself, and how he feels he doesn't need to change his style in order to win:While Ferguson is content the deficiency is nothing major, he does feel Rooney's energy could be better utilised elsewhere.
Uh oh. Well this is a little mini-storm brewing, isn't it?
Capello is of the same opinion and feels the 22-year-old should concentrate on terrorising opposition defences, but Rooney is content with the way he plays and does not believe any adaptation is required.
"I don't think I will ever lose my determination," he said.
"It is something I have always had. If we are not winning I get frustrated. "I don't like losing. If you are telling me that is wrong I won't believe you."
Rooney clearly feels his all-action style is based upon a natural competitive streak that comes to the surface when situations are starting to turn sour.
Fabio and Fergie feel one way, Rooney does another. So what's the tipping point?
As I see it, albeit in my outsider, bloggy perspective, think this isn't something that's going to disappear any time soon, regardless of whether Man U get themselves scoring three or four goals a game. Rooney's style of play is rather hard to pin down into a system, but it appears that a system and form is exactly what Man United are looking for. They want a coherent style of play with a clear purpose, but it's tough to do that when you have a player who doesn't understand where their responsibilities begin or end.
A lot of people (including on this blog) point to Steven Gerrard as being a guy who gives Liverpool a similar problem; no matter what the formation or tactics, Stevie Mbe has freedom to do whatever he pleases, and while I welcome that, it's not entirely beloved.
For Rooney, it's slightly different considering he's employed as a striker. It's no secret that your strikers are going to be ineffective when they're coming back to their own half to either win possession or collect possession, but what can Ferguson do? Tevez also loves to come back behind the front two and maraud, so that leaves them with just Saha and Frazier Campbell to actually play striker. Not exactly world-beating, is it?
The other big complication is Rooney's age. He's demonstrated in the past just how sensitive he is to criticism, a by-product of his tough upbringing, and while he thrived at a one-dimensional club like Everton, where both his work rate and enthusiasm were championed, things are a bit different at Old Trafford.
The team mentality is there like it was at Goodison, but there are still hierarchies of personality within the team, and it trickles down from there. Everyone has a job to do, and Rooney's constant disappearance from the front line, where he should be, is causing problems in the way they distribute the ball and begin their attacks.
When Ronaldo is back, it should get easier for Fergie to marshal everyone into a coherent attacking unit, but if he speaks out much more on the subject, he risks sending Rooney into a tailspin.
Wayne Rooney is the future of England. He's showing the skill of Beckham, the scoring ability of Lineker, and the guts and emotion of Gascoigne, arguably three of our biggest national heroes in the annals of history. Perhaps Man United's formalism isn't right for him. These problems wouldn't crop up at a club where he could employ his work rate without fear of rebuke. For me, I certainly don't think it's where he is now.
Friday, June 6, 2008
The definition of "Chav" **UPDATE**
The Rooney clan was back at it the other day. Going all out in Ibiza again, this time in the sunlight. Ladies and Gentlemen, if you have ever wondered what the visual definition of Chav is, there is a photo montage after the break.
NSFW, depending on your company's affinity for man-ass.
Pale boys on a boat
Visible homunculus!
Way to burn out those scooters, boys
Who knew Rooney was a Rutgers Fan?
Rooney is said to be paying out $500k for his week of debauchery with his family and mates. Couldn't he have paid for a spray tan first? Also, since Coleen is totally against having anything Chavvy at her wedding, does that mean that none of these guys can go?
Update: The Fan's Attic here...and just for those of into man-strings...Kickette has an even better picture of Roo's buddies.
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Rooney likes to drink, be with boys
Well, our desperate call for tips last month netted is nothing. Apparently, our reader base is smart enough to know that a trip to Vegas is an inherently losing proposition. Good on you all, fellas.
In the end, it seems that we didn't really need anyone to provide us with Rooney drinking pics. All we needed was to read the Daily Mail online. Let's dissect, shall we?
So, yeah. Rooney has been spotted in Ibiza taking in a stag night (weekend? week?) with some of his boys. I don't know about any of you marrieds out there, but at my bachelor party, there could not have been a picture taken without two things: alcohol and naked chicks. Rooney's party has the alcohol down, but there is a conspicuous lack of female bodies around. I understand that Rooney is smart enough to know that he will be photographed at every opportunity and must stay away from the ladies, but how about using some of that star wattage to get a little play for your friends? Must the entire night be female free?
Alright, to the pictures.
Whoa, who's the idiot? It's Rooney's brother, of course. Well, if I think about it, maybe the brother is a gemologist just getting off work. Perhaps the family is not so dim after all.
What? Why? It's 2 o'clock in the frickin' morning. Take those fucking sunglasses off your head. And is that a Long Island Ice Tea? I know that's what a real man drinks, an alcohol suicide. Actually, I think it's Cuervo Black and Coke.
This picture's caption should read: "Nope, there's no way that this spotlight is intentionally in me. I sat right under the dome light in the middle of the vehicle by accident. In no way do I want people to see me." but that would be way too long to fit under the picture.
Alright, I have no idea about Ibiza. For all I know it could be a British enclave on a Spanish isle. But come on. You travel to the Mediterranean to drink at a bar owned by Gary Lineker's brother? Isn't there somewhere a bit more authentic you could have gone to? At least put on a sombrero. George Best would.
Finally, a poll. How long will the Rooney-McLoughlin nuptials last? I used to work with a guy that was married for six weeks. Can Rooghlin beat that?
Rooney Lies
Colleen McLoughlin better watch out. Wayne Rooney is a liar and has been caught with his pants down. No, it's not from his bachelor party. Rather, he was caught by the long arm of the law. David Moyes, his former manager at Everton, has successfully sued Rooney for libel.
HarperCollins have accepted the libel should have been quickly picked up by the lawyers employed to read the transcript before it was published.
They may now sue 5RB, the legal chambers of media law specialist QC, Desmond Browne, whose chambers did the proof-reading of the Rooney book, ghost-written by Hunter Davies as the first of a five-book deal.
[Photo: The Daily Mail] Read more on "Rooney Lies"...
Friday, May 23, 2008
Don't Forget Vegas
Just a quick reminder, if any of our 12 readers are going to be in Vegas over the next week, keep an eye out for Shrek Wayne Rooney and his crew. Wazza is there for his bachelor party. Any inside info would be much appreciated.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
No Toast For Me
As we all know or maybe not, Wayne Rooney is betrothing Coleen McLoughlin this summer. Wayne will tie one on for his bachelor party in Vegas on May 26, while Coleen attends to the last minute wedding details. Things like seating arrangements, centerpieces and the sort. Luckily for her, the champagne has already been selected.
While the guests will be treated to anal fresco champagne reception and barbecue, bride-to-be Coleen has decided to follow her own diet.
- Coleen doesn't want the wedding to be to chavvy.
- To lessen the chavviness, Coleen is toning down the fake tan to appear less orange.
- All female guests are asked to wear black so Coleen will stand out.
I wish Coleen the best for her nuptials, but I think this story shows she is fighting a losing battle against chavviness.
Read more on "No Toast For Me"...
Monday, May 12, 2008
Rooney in Vegas
Rumor has it (and by rumor I mean the Las Vegas Review-Journal) that Wayne Rooney will be having his bachelor party in Las Vegas on or about May 26 of this year.The 22-year-old Manchester United standout is flying to Las Vegas on May 26 with 30 lads, including teammates and boxer Ricky Hatton. Rooney is getting married June 12.
Rooney and Las Vegas figure to be an interesting marriage. In 2006, his six-figure gambling losses made headlines, adding to his bad-boy reputation. Some fans have yet to forgive him for losing his temper and getting kicked out of a 2006 World Cup game that ended in a 1-0 win for Portugal.
Vegas, Rooney, 30 lads...sounds like a great idea. Let's just hope there are pictures of the donkey...and Shrek.
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Rooney Family Jewels: The Female Kind
I always thought that once somebody in your family made it big, you wouldn't need or want to do something that may be considered, oh, I don't know...selling your body. I was wrong. Manchester United striker Wayne Rooney's cousin, Natalie Rooney, has new boobs and she wants everybody to know.
“If Coleen doesn’t like my new boobs, I’ll squeeze her head between them.
***
"I’ll soon be getting them out all over the place."
Read more on "Rooney Family Jewels: The Female Kind"...
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