Shola Ameobi is an idiot

Shola is not a squatter, he's just a footballer

I realize that the highly-paid footballer of today leads a life more in line with Caligula than Jesus Christ, but a line has to be drawn somewhere, and perhaps Newcastle striker Shola Ameobi has found it. Apparently, the lad lives in such rockstar-esque dishevelment that he can't even tell whether he's been burgled or on a bender.

From the wonderful journalism of the Daily Mail:

The Newcastle striker called Northumbria Police to report a number of items had been taken from his home, including his chequebook. But Ameobi soon realised his £500,000 pad in Jesmond, a leafy suburb of Newcastle, had not be targeted at all - it was just a complete mess. In a scene straight from a Yellow Pages advert, the striker had to call the police again to admit his mistake.

No word on whether Michael Owen's talent was lost and buried amid the detritus.

Still, if nothing else, Shola could look to Dave from Stoke/Newcastle as a possible housemaid. Maybe then the lad could devote more time to remembering how to score goals.

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Sho' me the money!

Foluwashola (Shola) Ameobi today woke up in a hotel in Stoke. Late yesterday he sealed a loan move from Newcastle to help the Potters with their push for promotion to the Premier league.

The move is not all that remarkable but the price attached certainly is. Newcastle must have smelled Tony Pullis' desperation wafting up the motorway as they attached a 5 million fee if Stoke gain promotion.

The cost of the loan itself is said to also be "an incredible amount of money" according to Norwich boss Glenn Roeder who was also tracking Ameobi. Roeder was informed of the cost by new geordie wheeler and dealer Dennis Wise. The former midfield knee biter apparently promised City the option of signing Ameoibi should the Stoke deal fall through.

Ameobi has made just 15 appearances for Newcastle United in over 2 years after suffering a hip injury and has more recently been a victim of Kelvin Koogans Owen tinted glasses that have also left striker Obefami Martins warming the bench with his arse.

The Stoke deal is another indication of money in football spiraling out of control. While the move is a short term financial gamble to Stoke, the cost of Ameobi will seem insignificant should they gain promotion to the Premiership and receive the 60 million pound pot of gold. But surely 5 million quid for a guy who has barely played premiership football for 3 years is absolutely ridiculous.

I am just glad my beloved Norwich did not waste the cash. I would want a 20-foot tall Ameobi for that. Next you'll tell me some one will sign 30-year-old Andriy Shevchenko for 30 million quid.

-Bigus

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