UF Market Madness: Belated Confederations Cup Edition

It's been a few days since that final on Sunday, but we thought we'd have a lttle look at the marketplace after the tournament and those players who went some way to improving their resume, along with a few who didn't do themselves any favors.


Trending Up!
Those who have done well to boost their resumes in the 3-4 games they played in South Africa.

Charlie Davies, USA
Finally, it looks like the US may have found a speedy, counterattacking foil for Altidore or Ching, a guy who can sprint around for 80 minutes and create space for his strike partner. While his ball control wasn't the best, Davies did step in and mature quickly throughout this tournament. His role in Donovan's goal against Brazil sums up his usefulness to this team. Time to stop dicking around with other options at #2 striker and give him a full run. I think he's ready.

Jay Demerit, USA
What a titan back there! His time in the Colaship has really steeled him, and he defended with grit, determination and aggression. It shouldn't be long until an EPL team lacking in that physical central defender comes in to nick him from Watford. I could have picked Onyewu, but every ball that Oguchi won in the air, he'd immediately give away on the ground. Much more of a liability than his batterymate Demerit, who was poised and stoic to the bitter end.

Mohamed Aboutrika, Egypt
While the African continent champs left a rather weak mark on this tournament, I was impressed by their attacking midfielder Aboutrika, whose workrate was a constant nuisance against Brazil and Italy. Loved to get wide and whip balls into the six-yard-box, loved to test the opponent's offside trap wherever possible, and wasn't afraid to take it up the middle, either. Everyone gushes over Mohamed Zidan up front, but he'd be nothing without Aboutrika.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTH!

Matthew Booth, South Africa
Sure, he's slow, white and at times uncoordinated, but who else looked upon him and thought he'd be perfect at Bolton or Wigan or West Ham Sunderland? Just the type of space-filling, hoof-capable central defender that could suit a low-EPL or Colaship team.

Luis Fabiano, Brazil
If you weren't familiar with the Sevilla striker, you certainly are now. It took him a game or two to get going, but Fabiano showed that he is due for a more high-profile club with five well-taken goals and his invention up front.

Felipe Melo, Brazil
Arsenal want him. 'Nuff said. An impressive tournament at the base of their defensive midfield alongside former Gooner Gilberto Silva, young Melo gave the backline plenty of protection and looked just as comfortable in the tackle or on the counter-attack.

Katlego Mphela, South Africa
In terms of output for minutes played, Mphela showed he could be worth a flier for any club seeking some pace and excitement up front. Plus, he showed in the 3rd place game that he's pretty good from the free-kick. Tons of pace, tons of energy, and enough of both to ask questions of any backline.


Trending Down!
Not even Kevin Keegan would buy this lot!

Anyone on New Zealand
Lord, were they awful. They were Torres-fodder in Game One, Bernard Parker's plaything in Game Two, and woeful in front of goal against Iraq in Game Three. I looked at this team and saw nothing worth liking.

Beasley: rubbish

DaMarcus Beasley, USA
In some ways I feel bad for the soccer-challenged left-winger/left-back, whose absence from the team immediately correlated to goals, success, and upsets. Beasley was dire in the two games he played, consistenly giving the ball away and not doing much offensively to atone for his waste.

Wael Gomaa, Egypt
Just about every goal that the Pharaohs conceded was indirectly his fault, as it was normally his marker wriggling free to thump the ball home. Weak in the air, indecisive with the ball in front of him, and generally clueless at the back. It says a lot that Egypt played with a sweeper behind their back 4, and Gomaa still sucked even with the extra cover.

Juan Manuel Mata, Spain
Didn't see much playing time, and perhaps rightly so. Reminded me of a less-talented Joe Cole for his unflinching ability to dribble into a swarm of defenders and lose possession. Not the best crosser of the ball from the left, and every time he cut inside from the wing to shoot, it ended up in the heavens. The 21-year-old from Valencia has a ways to go before he unseats someone in that starting XI. Shit, the fact that Albert Riera emerged seemingly as Spain's top dog on the left says it all! That's your fault, Juan!

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Taking One for the Team: The Mike Freeman Experience

Apologies for the lack of a catchy intro but my lifeforce has been seriously depleted by dissecting this and I can hardly be bothered.

It's by a Mike Freeman. And he was a victim. A poor sad victim of pretty exciting, fairly competitive soccer match. When I regain my energy, I'm going to record a song about his plight and raise money for his benefit.

Additional apologies (and thanks) to Fire Joe Morgan. Rest in peace. I also apologize for switching voices. It's poor form on my part, I admit it.

Anyway, fun starts after the jump.

One of the last great soccer lies came in the form of David Beckham.

What's a soccer lie? I mean if Beckham was one of the last great ones, doesn't that imply there have been a number of them? And shouldn't someone know about the others? I consume a fair amount of soccer, I don't know one great soccer lie outside of "England will win the next World Cup."

More importantly, what the hell does David Beckham have to do with anything? I mean given the proximity in time of this piece to the final of the Confederations Cup (the day after), I'm guessing this is ultimately about the US Men's National Team. Beckham doesn't play for the USMNT. He can't, he's English. England didn't play in the Confederations Cup. In fact England didn't even qualify for the tournament that qualified a European team for the Confederations Cup.

But Beckham, the big lie. Sure.

He was supposed to make us blokes in the United States care about the sport.

According to whom? I realize I'm asking a lot of questions to start but these unsupported claims sort of need, well, support.

He was a global icon, we were told, the Tiger Woods of soccer, and he'd educate the American heathens about real football.

He still is a global icon. Beckham is massive. In Asia they build temples in his honor and they build him out of chocolate.

Anyway, I'm not sure there even is such a thing as a Tiger Woods of soccer. See Woods plays golf. It's (largely) an individual sport (things like the Ryder Cup are rare exceptions). Beckham plays soccer, it's a team sport with 10 other guys out there. I'm still not sure why I'm even talking about David Beckham but surely as a sportswriter you can appreciate the difference between individual and team sports and see how you fail at analogies.

In 2007, Beckham signed a mega-deal to play for the Los Angeles Galaxy and the media slobbering began in full force. I was one of the suckers who believed Beckham could potentially erode the snobbery people in this country exhibited toward soccer.

See that URL from the Web page your article was on? It starts with the letters See Bee Ess. As in Viacom. I got news for you Mr. Freeman. You're the fucking media. You. You're not some outside observer detached from it, you work for a massive entertainment and media conglomerate, the same one that put Becks on '60 Minutes', the same one that probably sent network and local affiliate reporters to cover his arrival. Shit, maybe a Viacom outlet greenlighted a Posh and Becks reality show. You, your brethren, and your employer did the slobbering and if you fell for anything it was the making of you and your peers. Quit fucking acting like you're above it or outside it.

Swing, miss. But my words were nothing compared to some of the garbage spewed in the orgasmic afterglow of the post-coital meeting of media and megastar that year.

Shit, maybe I should have saved my previous rant until after this sentence. I still can't fathom what Beckham has to do with any of this. And I prefer not to have any sexual imagery attached to it while we're at whatever it is we're at. I mean I think I know where you're going (I'm not a total dumbass) but to start it with Becks is like starting a recap of 'Crime and Punishment' by talking about Pavel Datsyuk. Not even. At least both he and Raskolnikov are Russian.

"What he gives MLS is an immediate GQ rating and free advertising for the league wherever he goes," wrote ESPN.com.

Quoting EPSN. That's Disney. Another massive media conglomerate like the one you work for.

"Between talk-show appearances, the celeb circuit and hanging with the Hollywood A-listers (it's been reported that Brad Pitt has requested soccer lessons from Beckham for his son), Beckham will give MLS a buzz and intro to mainstream pop culture it has never had before."

Pretty sure it did because, well, outlets like ESPN and CBS wrote about Beckham's arrival in America. That's where this shit came from. It's not like there is some grassroots media organizations that were lifting Beckham out of obscurity upon his arrival in the U.S.

"David Beckham is a global sports icon who will transcend the sport of soccer in America,” said Don Garber, commissioner of the MLS at the time.

Uh, he's still commissioner.

None of that happened. Not an ounce of it ever came true. The average attendance of an MLS game is 14,883 people with cities like Dallas and Kansas City averaging around 9,000. The Professional Bowlers Association draws more interest. There was no Beckham Effect.

Okay, let's unpack this. First, if this article has any value, it's in this section as I was pretty astounded to learn that the PBA does draw a higher number than MLS on the 4-letter. It's startling enough that it's shockingly bad form to not take the 90 seconds to Google and give numbers to support it. The PBA gets about a .8, while MLS games—not soccer broadly mind you, but MLS—averages around a .2 rating.

Now, to throw around MLS attendance numbers (for live games) then say that the PBA draws more interest is a disingenuous juxtaposition at best. What's the gate for PBA events? Really, can you even get 9000 (a shitty MLS number) into a bowling alley? Any time I've seen bowling on TV it looks like there are maybe a couple hundred people there; and when I Google "PBA attendance" the first three returns are for the Philippine Basketball Association, the Police Benevolent Association and the Philippine Basketball Association. So if the PBA is keeping attendance numbers, it's not making them easily accessible.

Second, to say "there was no Beckham Effect" is just plain wrong. His debut for the Galaxy in an exhibition drew a 1.0 rating (five times the average). It was also the highest-rated and most-viewed program of the night on ad-supported cable networks among men 18-49 and 25-54.

League-wide average attendance was up in 8.2% in 2007 (Beckham's first season) over 2006. And generally, individual away games where Beckham played spiked dramatically over the average for the home team. Example: when they Becks'ed-up Galaxy made their debut in New York against the Red Bulls, they drew a crowd of 66,237, a club record for an MLS game (i.e. not against an international club side). That's the most dramatic example, sure, but here it's a matter of degree not kind.

Finally, if you knew anything about the sport of soccer you knew Beckham was already a limited player when he arrived in the US. He can't run at people, he can't tackle, he's not good in the air. He still has a lethal right foot particularly when the ball isn't moving, and fortunately for him, a disproportionate number of goals are scored from set pieces. But midfielders in soccer rarely control and dominate games the way a Michael Jordan can in basketball or a Josh Beckett can in baseball. To think Becks was going to come in and light up the scoreboard and magically transform the game into something Americans had to watch was to be willfully ignorant of the game.

Still, couple his diminishing skills with the fact that his effort in MLS was sub-par (really once he put on a Milan jersey he looked like a player who actually gave a shit again) and you got in Beckham exactly what a knowledgeable fan of the game would have expected.

Back on point, to just throw out the number 14,883 and say "No Beckham effect" is shitty journalism. Yes, that's right I just called you a shitty journalist because for some reason only known to a Supremely Perfect Being I am talking about David Beckham and MLS attendance when dissecting a piece I'm 99% certain is going to be (eventually) talking about the Confederations Cup.

With time as an ally, it's easy to see that the Beckham signing was one of the great cons in recent American sports history. More people know who Hedu Turkoglu is than David Beckham.

I'm going to assume you mean Hedo Turkoglu (at least according to his wikipedia page). And I'm going to guess that in soccer-mad Turkey, Beckham is more famous than Hedo in Hedo's home town of Istanbul.

Has anyone ever made a chocolate Turkoglu?

In the end, the only things Beckham conquered in the America were Posh Spice and a few red carpets at Hollywood parties.

The America. Therefor. Such as.

And if you can't conquer your wife, then maybe you should enter the priesthood.

He was the 70 millionth person/moment/slash phenomenon that was supposed to transform America's attitude about soccer, going back to Pele and the New York Cosmos in the 1970s. Remember, Pele was named by Time Magazine as one of the 100 most important people of the 20th century. In retrospect, if Pele couldn't make this country care, no one could.

Pele was probably a good pick for one of the most important people of the 20th century. He and Ali might be the two biggest sporting figures of the last century. Pele got people to watch soccer in the U.S. No doubt about it. Was it sustainable? No. But that's another discussion. But Pele made people care, even if just for a little while.

Still, Pele. Beckham. I count two. You're 69,999,998 short. That's not a trivial amount.

Fast forward to now, and here we go again.

Okay, by my word-counter we are 370 words into a 765-word bit—not too far from halfway—about the US loss in the Confederations Cup final and we are only now getting our first mention of the event itself.

When America beat Spain, the top-ranked country in the world, in the Confederations Cup last week, we were again lectured about watershed moments and forecasts of increasing U.S. interest. "This win is huge for American soccer," said U.S. player Clint Dempsey.

"This win is huge" is a lecture for you? Shit, how did you ever manage to make it through college where they had actual lectures that were longer than seven words (I'm assuming you went to college... which, I'm not sure is a particularly good assumption on my part)?

Knocking off the top ranked team in the world is pretty huge. It was also huge in that, just a few days previous, the US team had been lambasted (and rightfully so) for its uninspired and largely disappointing play. They rallied and beat two continental champions back-to-back by a combined scoreline of 5-0.

Then the U.S. lost 3-2 to Brazil on Sunday, after taking a 2-0 lead. Typical U.S. soccer.

From 1950 to 1990 this sport had no history in America. For all intents and purposes, as a competitive soccer nation we are 20 years old. That's not even fucking old enough to have an M.O. that would qualify as "Typical U.S. soccer."

However, that was the first time that the US had blown a 2-0 halftime lead in international competition (I think that was the stat from the broadcast). So if something is a unique event I'm not entirely sure how it can also be categorized as 'typical' to begin with.

The Spanish win was a set-up. Another tease, followed by another spate of predictions on the upcoming American soccer emergence, followed by another letdown. It's the old U.S. soccer mamba.

First, a mamba is a large, highly-poisonous snake. Dude if we were thought of as something that fucking lethal in soccer by the rest of the world, that would be awesome. I think you took 'mambo' and 'samba' and combined them into something that has nothing to do with either. Well done (just a tip, most personal computers come with a dictionary built into the OS).

Second, "Hey Jesus, yeah, raising Lazarus from the dead, that was pretty cool but I'm not really going to be care unless you raise like an entire village from the dead. Yeah. And not just a village, but a village of knuckle-walkers. I mean people who have been dead for a long ass time. Shit Lazarus was walking around last week. How can we be sure he wasn't sleeping and you just woke him up? I'm going to need something with a much higher degree of difficulty if you want me to be impressed."

There is zero shame in losing 3-2 to Brazil in the final of a FIFA competition. The way we lost might have been crushing to the soul, as for a half, we outplayed them, but Brazil is still just better. They have five World Cups, more than any other country on the planet. If you're somehow put off by the fact that the USMNT failed to do the improbable back-to-back that's really not their fault.

How many times have Americans heard the soccer-will-transform-us mantra before? The site Deadspin.com compiled an interesting list.

In the 1994 World Cup the U.S. beat Colombia 2-1. "This game is going to have a permanent effect" on soccer in America, said Alan Rothenberg, president of the United States Soccer Federation. "It's the biggest so far in history." The permanent effect wasn't so perfect.

What does permanent have to do with perfect other than maybe your desire to be alliterative? The 1950 1-0 win over England was probably bigger so the second part of that statement is suspect. But the 1994 win was the first victory for a US side in the World Cup in 44 years. We made it out of the group stage, and raised expectations such that our inability to get a single point 4 years later in France was considered an absolute failure. Still, we have made every World Cup since the one we hosted. What's more, we expect to qualify. It's a given. So, inasmuch as there have only been 16 years since that win, the effect is about as permanent as it can be.

The U.S. beat heavily favored Argentina in 1995 in the Copa America tournament. "I think this is the first step ... to become a major soccer power," said one of the U.S. players, Cobi Jones.

If by soccer power he meant minor world player, that was accurate.

Another good win. And another step. Steps are small. Still we've been a fixture in and around the Top 20 of the FIFA rankings for a while now. So we're probably better than 'minor.' The rankings are flawed and maybe Jones was over-exhuberant in the afterglow of the win, but relatively speaking we've made good progress since 1995. Moving into the upper echelons of the world soccer hierarchy is a long slow process. What Jones said wasn't wildly off base, that win was a step.

The U.S. team beat Brazil in the 1998 Gold Cup, and the U.S. coach, Steve Sampson, was in full peacock mode. "[The win] states we can play with anyone in the world, and on occasion, beat the best in the world,” he said then.

Not in the World Cup, we can't.

Yes we can. And have. Okay, we probably only have 2 signature World Cup wins since 1950, and only one of those was over a possible favorite to win the Cup. That was Portugal in 2002. And that was an absolute stunner. That year was supposed to be the coming of age of Portugal's 'Golden Generation': Luis Figo, Rui Costa, Jorge Costa, Nuno Gomes, Conceição, Abel Xavier. That team was loaded with world class talent.

But here's the thing about the World Cup: it's fucking hard to win.

England, the nation that invented this sport has won the thing only once (and even then it was when they had the home field advantage). France were the reigning champions in 2002 and they didn't even make it out of their group stage. Wins in the World Cup are hard to come by (especially when FIFA seemingly rigs the draw against you tournament after tournament).

In 2002 the U.S. beat Portugal in the World Cup 3-2. One MLS official at the time said it was the beginning of the emergence of that league.

Do you even read the shit you write? You say we can't beat teams in the World Cup then you list a World Cup victory over one of the tournament favorites. What the fuck is wrong with you?

What the U.S. does is get a handful of wins every decade or so -- or some faded star like Beckham uses our country -- and our wishful-thinking genetics kick in. I've been just as guilty of this as anyone.

Really, why even bother with a half-assed attempt to make all of that nonsense about Beckham seem somehow relevant. Club soccer and international soccer are two different things. Beckham has nothing to do with the USMNT. He plays for MLS. And part time at that. It's a second-or-third rate league. It is. No rational soccer fan in the US will argue otherwise.

Any hype surrounding his arrival has nothing to do with expectations the USMNT might have raised by beating Spain in the semi-final of the Confederations Cup, or the disappointment Americans might have felt when they lost the final to Brazil.

It's typical American arrogance, however, to think that we can compete in a sport that, in many parts of the world, kids start playing in the womb.

Don't all babies kick in the womb? Ha, take that! We're loaded with pre-natal kids playing footie just like Brazil and Italy. Woo hoo! USA! USA!

Arrogance is invading a sovereign nation that's never posed a threat to you simply because you feel like it. Wanting to win at the highest level in sports isn't arrogance. It's a laudable aspiration.

Look, we just reached the final of a FIFA tournament—granted it's not the biggest tournament but all the teams sent close to full-strength, first-choice sides, and our group was loaded—so I'd say we competed (except maybe for the first Brazil game when we got down early and showed little fight).

If German athletes started crowing about how that country could put together an NFL team and then take on the Pittsburgh Steelers, we'd laugh.

Yes, we would. It would be an absolute slaughter. In fact if I had to put it the football score into soccer terms I'd say the Steelers would win somewhere on the order of 10 or 12 to nil.

So yes, the analogy is totally accurate. We put together a soccer team and we go compete against the world's best and we lose 12-0.

Oh wait, we don't. In fact we beat Spain, led Italy for a half even though we were down a man (we ran out of gas then got throttled), and outplayed Brazil for a half before they just overran us. Again, where's the shame in any of this? In fact, American soccer fans are disappointed because it's no longer good enough for us to just compete. We want to win.

I think we've already established your ability to fail at analogies.

If the Germans decided they wanted to play our football, give them 20 years. If they really put an effort into it, they might become competitive. That seems to be about the timeline, 20 years. Think about it. It's been about 20 years since the Dream Team, and if you subscribe to the notion that they turned basketball into a game that the rest of the world wanted to play, then it's taken about 20 years for the rest of the world to catch up. Or look at US Soccer. We first returned to the World Cup after a 40 year absence in 1990. It's been about 20 years. And we might be on the precipice of another step forward.

I'm not suggesting we're going to be a legit threat to win the next World Cup. If this is something you believe based on one result against Spain, that is your fault. Period.

This is the world's game. And competition at that level is insane. We'd need a good draw and maybe a favorable match-up to even make it to the quarters but we're getting better and teams that don't take us seriously, they are going to get beat.

The Great Soccer Con fooled me once before. Feel free to be suckered again. I've learned my lesson.

I thought you said there were 70 million things that were supposed to have transformed soccer in this country. Fool you once, sure. But how slow are you if inductive reasoning doesn't kick in until the 70 millionth time ? Do you take bets that the sun won't rise tomorrow morning? I mean you probably haven't seen it happen 70 million times yet yourself, so maybe you aren't quite sure it's going to happen. How much money do you have?

Look, glad you've learned your lesson. Whatever it is. That we can't beat Brazil but once every 15 times still? Or that Beckham can't transform the century-old sporting culture of a nation in two-season's time?

Just promise to never write another word about a sport you know next to nothing about. Please. Please promise not to watch a single World Cup match no matter how well (or poorly) the USMNT does. Just don't. I"m sure there will be plenty of bowling on next summer to fill the sports-viewing calendar. It's more popular here anyway.

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Confederations Cup Final Liveblog: United States v. Brazil

The NY Kid failed his pregame fitness test, so I'm your last-minute substitution. I promise that I'll try to match his high level of liveblogging from this morning!

From an American perspective, there's not much more hyperbole that can be added to this game, although that hasn't stopped the U.S. media from trying (but hey, at least they're writing about soc-cer!). The statistic you will hear often today is that the United States is playing in its first FIFA tourney final. We can debate whether the Confederations Cup is a real tournament all we want, but needless to say that the American turnaround has been quite remarkable.

Unlike Spain, the Brazilians are in-form and unlikely to roll over today. But then, who would've said that the U.S. would beat Egypt 3-0 to make it into the knockouts, or beat Spain to make it into the finals? In other words, can the U.S. continue their bizarro run through the Confederations Cup? And I said there was no more hyperbole that could be added!!

Lineups, liveblog and lots of your comments after the hop.

Lineups:

Oooh-Essah, Oooh-Essah, Oooh-Essah: Howard, Bocanegra(c), Onyewu, DeMerit, Spector, Feilhaber, Clark, Donovan, Dempsey, Clark, Altidore. Subs: Guzan, Robles, Bornstein, Casey, Pearce, Beasley, Wynne, Klejstan, Adu, Torres, Califf

Brazil: Julio Cesar, Santos, Luisao, Lucio(c), Maicon, Melo, Silva, Kaka, Ramires, Fabiano, Robinho. Subs: Victor, Gomes, Kleber, Elano, Alves, Miranda, Josue, Baptista, Kleberson, Pato, Nilmar, Juan

-30: Harkes is joining Lalas in the studio for the pregame. They're seated awfully close to each other, eh? I expect lots and lots of talk about beating Brazil back in 1998.

-23: Wonder if Giuseppe Rossi is home watching this match? Hahaha.

-20: As EF notes in the comments (hi!) Feilhaber gets the nod in midfield over Klejstan. Bob Bradley made the right move, now it's down to my favorite Brazilian-Jewish-American to make good.

-15: Anyone else notice that the USA's miraculous turnaround coincided with the sudden disappearance of Tommy Smyth from ESPN? Just saying.

-10: Hey look a Bill Simmons commercial. I bet he worked that into his latest contracts (10 commercials about me a week).

-8: Teams are out on the pitch, the stadium looks pretty much full - and the vuvuzelas are already a-buzzin'. Truly, the one word that has been made famous during this tournament. Sepsis Bladder, Jacob Zuma and the other "dignitaries" are shaking the players hands.

-5: The vuvuzelas are adding a nice Lamont Young/John Cage drone to the national anthems.

-3: One of the sideline officials is Mexican. I'm going to be keeping an eye on him!

-1: A tribute to Marc-Vivien Foé, Cameroon midfielder who played for Man City and Lyon.

KICKOFF: Ooof I'm nervous! Brazil kick off.

2: If the first couple minutes mean anything, Brazil look like they'll try to keep the ball and force the Americans run around and tire out. U.S. look like they'll try to put pressure on the Brazilians like they did against Spain.

3: Good play by the U.S. bringing the ball up the pitch, leading to a long shot by Deuce that wasn't troubling the keeper. Then Clark tries a through ball to Davies.

4: Cliche alert! Brazil wants to win beautifully.

6: Brazil pressing into the box. USMNT clear the first corner, here comes another....

7: Kaka has a clear header on the near post but he's far wide. Howard unhappy with the defending.

9: Bigus wants to point out that Harkes lied earlier today: "Harkes just lied. !!! He was asked if he had played against marc vivean foe and he said he had in 94-95. Foe joined west ham in 98!!"

10: GOAL GOAL GOAL DEMPSEY: Wow!! Spector with another fantastic cross, Deuce gets a boot on it and its in the corner of the goal. 1-0 USA!! (Sorry for the delay, Blogger acting up.)

13: Robinho with acres of space and forces a good save by Timmeh, the Americans clear the resulting corner. And then Davies had a break and was bumped... He goes down and the US gets a freekick right outside the box. US corner. Breathless stuff!

14: Bocanegra heads the ball down and the US get another corner. The ball pings around the box. No let up from the Americans, who are looking like the stronger team.

16: Kaka has a shot but Demerit is there to block. Americans need to be very careful on the defensive wings, Spector and Bocanegra are getting consistently beat.

17: Other UFers are checking in.... The Likely Lad couldn't get into a capacity Nevada Smiths (why he went there in the first place I'm not sure), and Autoglass is watching in Paris. How cosmopolitan we are!!

18: US freekick, around 35 yards out. Into the box but Brazil eventually clears.

19: Yellow care to Bocanegra, who was literally hanging on to Kaka. That's one way to defend against the break!

21: US playing lots of men behind the ball. Need to be careful that they don't forget to press forward as well! Still lots of game to be played. Silva kicks the ball behind the ball for a freekick.

22: Spector gets absolutely skinned by Robinho on the wing but the Americans recover. Those wings are making me nervous though. Meanwhile, Feilhaber with a great tackle on Kaka. Mistime it and it would've been a yellow.

24: The Likely Lad reports: "Brazil fans are real douches. Not carrying on so much after the goal."

25: Howard with a very good save on a long Melo shot, who then earns a yellow card for something - probably complaining. Brazil still pressing and the US still defending. Can Brazil punish the Americans for trying to get to the break 1-0?

27: Another great save from Timmeh on a Maicon cross along the line. Brazil gets the corner, US clear to Donovan on the break and....

GOAL DONOVAN!!! 2-0 USMNT! DO YOU BELIEVE IN MIRACLES? YES! Totally against the run of play but the Americans counter very very well, Donovan with a great first touch to beat the Brazilian defender and slot the ball into the corner.

30: US cannot stay content now, and continue to put pressure on the ball and earn a throw-in for their efforts. Cross into the box just out of the reach of two Americans in the box. Wow. Almost a third.

32: Feilhaber and Clark can't quite connect in the box and the Brazilians counter the other way. Gooch clears but the Brazilians come back. Lots of pretty play by the Brazilians around the box but so far the Americans are defending well.

34: Lingering Bursitis checks in after taking a break from baby duty: "Full credit, Americans are playing like they should. Solid D and kill teams with their defense and use their speed. This should be their M.O.!"

35: Another great save from Timmeh from a short-range Santos shot, and then Fabiano heads the ball just over the bar. Phew!

36: Altidore skins Santos, who brings him down and gives up a freekick just outside the box to the right. Well done by Jozy.

37: Free kick just cleared by Brazil, otherwise Deuce would've had a header on goal. Corner to the Americans.

38: Corner goes straight to Cesar, and the Brazilians break right away and earn a free kick around 30 yards outside the goal. Brazil are lining it up here.

39: Brazil too smart for their own good here and waste the freekick. Davies breaks on the counter but his final touch lets him down.

40: Spector beats Kaka one-on-one on the wing. Well done!

41: Lingering Bursitis checks in again: "Maybe Project 2010 wasn't so crazy afterall!" Robinho almost scores but Howard with another last-ditch save.

43: Americans on the back foot again, but do just enough to defend and Maicon's shot goes wide. US will be very, very happy to go in at the half up two goals here!

44: Feilhaber has made several great tackles... So my favorite Brazilian-Jew-American is meeting expectations! Maicon takes a crack from long distance, it's deflected out for a corner that Howard collects. One minute of extra time.

45 Ohhhh Fabiano almost connects on a fantastic cross by Maicon.

TWEET TWEET TWEET Halftime: The USMNT go into the lockerroom up 2-0 on Brazil! Not in my wildest dreams, not even close. 45 minutes to play though. Brazil certainly have the ability to come back here.

Half: So I'm wondering which war metaphor best epitomizes what the US needs to do in the second half: The Alamo? Valley Forge? The Second Battle of Bull Run? The Battle of the Bulge??

Half: Watching Spector play today, I can't help but ask: What was Bob Bradley thinking by playing Marvel Wynne over Spector?? But seriously, no matter what happens the rest of this game, it's difficult to be too mad at Bradley, isn't it? Seems to be making all the right personnel moves lately: Davies, Clark, Spector, Feilhaber. Oh who am I kidding, forget insta-punditry, everything's thrown out the window right now. It's all about holding on against Brazil for the next 45 minutes.

46: US kick off. Deep breath, here we go.

46: GOAL BRAZIL FABIANO: Maicon passes to Fabiano just outside the box with his back to the goal, turns, beats Demerit and Howard. Brilliant goal. 2-1.

48: US a little rattled now. Just showed the replay again. Nothing Demerit or Howard could've done once Fabiano got the ball where he did. Brazil freekick at the halfway line.

50: Kaka waits too long with the ball just outside the box and the Americans clear. Altidore on the break but it goes out of bounds for a U.S. throw-in. Feilhaber has a nice run along the endline but can't keep the ball in the play.

51: End-to-end stuff here. Gotta think that favors Brazil. U.S. can't sit back, but they can't get too stretched either.

52: Better from the US. Defend well against Robinho and then try to break.

53: US break again, Davies wide to Dempsey who can't control and the Brazilians break. A wasted counter.

54: Foul called on Feilhaber against Kaka. Jozy clears it well, but Brazil keep s possession and try a through ball to Fabiano that's too long.

55: Kaka earns another free kick against Feilhaber around 30 yards out. All the calls going the Brazilians' way. Freekick into the wall and then up in the air, but foul called and the US get a freekick in the box. US needs to pull it together here.

58: Brazil with more pretty passing, Maicon crosses from the corner but Timmy gathers. Then a last-minute tackle from Spector against Kaka for a corner. Kaka isn't treating this like an exhibition. And one more great save by Howard on a header by Lucio and then Silva kicks the ball out of play. Nervy, nervy stuff!

60: OH MY! Brazil thought they had the equalizer. Kaka with a freeheader on a corner, Howard just saves and keeps the ball outside the goal mouth. Oh boy on the replay, that looked like a goal.

62: Harkes and JP with the partisan commentary, but that was a shocking call and the Americans are very, very lucky. Howard entirely within the goal and blocked the goal up to the bar.

64: Harkes says that Lucio was definitely offsides when it looked pretty close to me. No matter, Brazil keep pressing. Maybe the Alamo really was the right analogy?

65: Davies breaks and then smartly holds the ball up so the Americans can get a breather. Lando with a nice long shot that forces a good save from Cesar. Americans with rare sustained offense here. Oh and Dempsey with another good long shot! Much better.

66: Here comes the cavalry: Santos off, Dani Alves on. Ramires off, Elano on. Brazil clears the corner and immediately get back on offense.

68: Fabiano is very unhappy about earning a 50-50 foul against Demerit. But the Brazilians get the ball back easily and are back on offense.

69: Americans really need to maintain possession. Meanwhile, Lucio earns a yellow card for dissent.

71: Demerit with a good clearance, the US immediately give up the ball and Howard just barely gets the ball away from Fabiano. US seem totally over-awed here. Just slow things down and keep the damned ball!

72: Dani Alves' first touch is to sky the ball well out of play. A rare breather.

73: Davies takes on four defenders, beats three of them but not the fourth. Hey Bradley, how about some fresh legs here?

74: U.S. makes another good move but it's snuffed out and Brazil comes back the other way....

74 GOAL BRAZIL 2-2 Fabiano: Long coming and deserved. Kaka beats Spector, crossed the ball into the box. First shot comes off the crossbar but Fabiano is righ there to head the ball into the net.

75: Bornstein and Kliejstan on, Jozy off... ESPN won't tell me who else came off.

76: Thanks ESPN, it was Feilhaber off.

78: Kaka with a shot that goes wide. He's easily been the best man on the pitch. Melo with a dangerous jumping challenge that takes out Donovan. Very lucky not to get a second yellow.

79: Cesar makes a good grab on the long freekick from Donovan. Americans still look tired and Brazil still look like they're the more likely to score.

81: Bornstein with a long shot after two giveaways, but not troubling Cesar.

83: More good play from Kaka and Robinho, whose shot looks good but goes wide. Going the other way, Davies goes down easily in the box but the ref isn't impressed.

???: ESPN has dropped the clock from the screen so no idea how much time is left! More last-ditch defending from the Americans. Demerit makes a good clearance.

85: GOAL LUCIO. BRAZIL 3-2: Good header off the corner. U.S. look gassed and Brazil deserve to take the lead, especially with the non-call on the earlier goal.

88: Americans earn a corner. Last sub, Casey for Clark. Good effort by Onyewu but he heads the ball just over the crossbar.

89: Harkes and JP are already spinning the positive. I know Brazil are world class and we should be happy to be here, but Bradley still sucks. U.S. came out in this half totally unprepared, and wound up looking totally deflated after they gave up the first goal. That's on the coach, plan and simple.

91: 3 extra minutes. Casey is the only player for the U.S. looking like he thinks the Americans can get the equalizer.

92: Kljestan should've never been brought on. No touch, no poise. Dani Alves skies the ball out of play.

TWEET TWEET TWEET Brazil 3, USA 2: What a disappointing end to what has been a remarkable tournament for the U.S. The Americans positively crumpled in the second half. Brazil were the deserved winners. Whatever Bradley told the team in the lockerroom -- well, it didn't work. Bringing on Kljestan was a mistake. Time to digest what just happened this past week. Lots and lots to mull over.

Man of the match was Fabiano, who is also the golden boot winner of the tournament.

Hey everyone, chin up. Thanks for joining us for our Confederations Cup coverage! Sorry the ending wasn't the Cinderella storybook we were hoping for! Now, go out and enjoy the rest of your weekend.

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Confederations Cup Liveblog: Spain v. South Africa

3rd place match? Are you sure?

Good morning kids! Today on UF will be all-NYK, all the time as I will be liveblogging both matches today to anchor our 100% Confederations Cup liveblog guarantee. This first match presents a study in contrasts as Spain surely thought they would be in the final, while South Africa can hold their heads high for having made it to the 3rd place match.



This match is being held at Rustenburg-Royal Bafokeng Stadium and features an Austrian officiating crew.

Spain will run out a 4-1-2-1-2 featuring:
GK: Casillas
DEF: Capdevila; Pique; Albiol; Arbeloa
MID: Riera; Xabi Alonso; Cazorla; Sergio
ST: Torres; Villa

So del Bosque has sat Puyol, Xavi and Sergio Ramos - not a surprise considering their recent performances, particularly the latter. However, in order to avoid being further embarrassed he is still relying on his strike tandem of Torres and Villa to produce some powerful offense.


South Africa will use a 4-4-2 featuring:
GK: Khune
DEF: Gaxa; Booth; Mokoena; Masilela
MID: Pienaar; Dikgacoi; Sibaya; Modise
ST: Parker; Tshabalala

Joel Santana has replaced Mhlongo with Tshabalala but has otherwise kept his squad intact, which is a good strategy considering their last effort against Brazil. The midfield has truly been impressive for the Bafana Bafana, with Modise the clear star (for my money).


-03:00 - The lead-in to the Confed Cup on ESPN2 is NASCAR Now. Just in case you were wondering Jeff Burton is not happy with his recent performances.

-02:00 - I have a strange feeling that this liveblog will consist mostly of me talking to myself. For some reason, a 3rd-place match at 9AM between these 2 squads does not seem to enthuse a lot of people. But, a promise is a promise, and we guaranteed you fine people 100% livebloggery of the Confederations Cup!

-00:30 - Also, AJ Burnett and the Yankees can suck it. The Mets will probably lose again today because baby Jesus hates me, but at least we managed a hit last night to prevent the no-no.

-00:00 - Vuvuzelas!

00:00 - And we're off!

00:30 - And bonjour to joe!

01:45 - A little bit of ping-pong in the early going, with every ball to the S. Africa defense resulting in chants of "BOOOOOOOOOOOTH"

03:45 - Pique attempts a long ball over the top as the midfield has been bogged up, but the ball is too far. However, Spain regain the ball after a poor throw and Villa gets off a great shot that forces a great save from Khune. The resulting corner is tipped out by Khune, and eventually cleared.

05:30 - Spain are looking more comfortable now moving the ball, as there is some good interplay between Arbeloa and Villa. A throw-in goes all the way back to midfield, and Spain look to rebuild.

06:30 - Xabi Alonso plays Villa over the top, and he beats Masilela to the ball. The shot is from a difficult angle and he puts it well over the bar.

07:30 - Masilela dispossesses Cazorla, and Pienaar winds up drawing the foul. The free-kick comes into Booth at the back post, who sends it back to Pienaar. The shot is deflected for a corner. The ball comes into Booth, who attempts a backheel, but the eventual shot from Tshabalala is well over the bar.

10:15 - A cross from Riera goes across the goalmouth but is too high for anyone to get a head onto.

11:45 - Some excellent passing from South Africa is wasted as Masilela puts his final pass directly to the feet of Albiol. A bit of alternating possession, and each side has had some decent opportunities so far.

13:00 - Modise is fouled (and goes down a bit easily) by Pique about 35 yards out (oooh, close - ESPN says 38m). The kick again finds an unguarded Booth, and his header is wide. He really should have done better there.

14:45 - Arbeloa finds Cazorla, who in turn leaves it for Villa. But Booth is there to clean up the mess. The resulting throw-in finds its way to Cazorla, who feeds Riera. The pass into the box comes off Villa's foot as his touch let him down.

16:00 - Khune takes the goal-kick while adjusting his gloves. Wardrobe malfunction?

16:45 - A South Africa break is lost as Parker's touch lets him down and he commits a foul in an attempt to recover.

18:15 - Spain surge forward but yet again commit a sloppy turnover. Pique is forced to send the ball out for a throw-in to stop the South Africa counter. In the interim the referee has a little talk with Sibaya and Torres. Bad Nando!

19:00 - A poor cross is sent out by Arbeloa, as no one told him that he had time to play the ball cleanly. The resulting corner is cleared easily, and Cazorla plays Villa on the break. Looking like he would score, he is tackled by Masilela at the last possible second.

21:00 - Some wonderful interplay between Torres and Arbeloa results in El Nino in the box, but Sibaya is enough of a nuisance to result in a weak shot that is gobbled up by Khune.

24:00 - More frustration for Nando, as he dribbles 2 midfielders only to be stopped by Pienaar.

25:00 - Parker surges forward, and with Tshabalala wide open Parker instead scuffs his shot.

27:00 - A wonderful ball by Pienaar is misread by Tshabalala, who did not continue his run. South Africa are getting chances by building through the middle, but their touch is letting them down in the final 3rd of the pitch.

29:15 - Casillas is forced to come out almost to the touchline as a ball over the top looked to have played Parker in alone. Rather than a big boot, Casillas touches the ball around Parker and then launches it. Nervy stuff.

30:00 - A cross from Masilela drifts into Casillas and becomes an easy shot for the GK to handle.

31:15 - Parker does some excellent work to get past Capdevila, but Pique is there to stop him. Unfortunately for Spain, Pique plays with the ball too much and it goes out for a corner. The ball comes into Pienaar, who rifles a shot that is spilled by Casillas. The follow-up from Booth is wide left. A 2nd opportunity for the big man that he should have done better with.

33:15 - A long ball over the top is cleared by Booth. Not sure why Spain keep trying that, as they clearly have no one who can compete with the big man.

35:00 - Some brief action results in a shot from Tshabalala, but it comes off his right (weak) foot and is handled easily by Casillas.

35:45 - Spain responds with a ball into Riera, who has Gaxa beaten. The shot/cross goes past Khune, but also past the far post and out for a goal-kick.

38:00 - First card of the match, as Sergio receives a YC for bundling over Masilela after the pass had already left his foot. The free-kick from Modise finds Parker, whose header is easily grabbed by Casillas.

39:30 - Some interplay between Xabi Alonso, Arbeloa and Torres results in a deep throw-in, during which Sergio is fouled by Masilela. The free-kick from Cazorla is headed wide by Sergio.

45:00 - A deep throw for South Africa punctuates several minutes of frustration for both sides, as there has been a lull in attacking opportunities.

45:00 + 01:00 - Sergio goes down as his ankle gets raked late, but he pops back up rather than rolling around.


HALF-TIME - Spain 0-0 South Africa. Early opportunities for both squads, but by the 35th minute the match had settled into a routine of attacking play only in the middle 3rd of the pitch. Spain may need to switch defensive tactics on free-kicks, as Booth has been unguarded on several attempts and has come close to scoring twice. South Africa, on the other hand, need to pay more attention defensively on the wings, as Spain has had numerous chances built up from the wings.


45:00 - And here we go again!

45:45 - Torres is fouled by Mokoena (almost the 1st time today we've heard from him) at the top of the box. The free-kick from Xabi Alonso hits Pienaar, who receives a YC for infringement. The re-kick from Xabi Alonso is passed to Villa whose shot is pushed out by Khune. It lands at the feet of Sergio, who scores, but is adjudged to have been offside.

49:00 - Sibaya does an excellent job of dispossessing Riera and then maintaining his calm in the face of pressure from 2 midfielders, putting it out off Cazorla for a throw.

50:30 - Torres receives a pass from Pique, turns, takes 2 dribbles and fires a shot. Khune has to get low to make the save, but in the end it was relatively easy.

51:30 - Good work down the left side from Tshabalala results in a throw for South Africa. The ball comes into the box and Sergio is able to clear.

53:45 - A run from Gaxa down the right results in a throw, as South Africa have had a spell of possession. Sibaya is fouled by Villa as he attempts to move past Capdevila. The resulting free-kick from Modise is punched out by Casillas, but the offside flag had already gone up.

56:30 - Substitutions for Spain: Villa off, Silva on. Torres off, Guiza on.

58:30 - Tshabalala fouls Silva, and the resulting free-kick is played around for a bit before a ball over the top barely misses Silva.

60:00 Sibaya is taken down from behind by Silva, and the resulting ball finds Pienaar offsides.

61:30 - Riera makes an excellent push after a chested ball by Guiza, and gets off a good shot on goal. Khune does equally well, not only stopping but holding onto the shot.

62:15 - A cross from Pique finds Guiza unmarked at the back post, but the ball is slightly high and he is unable to control it. More open play from both teams now, as the final 1/2 hour seems to be bringing some urgency. Cazorla gets off a powerful shot, but it is straight at Khune, who punches it over the bar.

63:30 - Substitution for South Africa: Pienaar off, Mphela on. The Spain corner is easily cleared by the defense.

65:00 - Given the score, a good question about the result, if it stands like this. Since the Confed Cup is a FIFA "major" event and factors into FIFA rankings, which in turn affect seeding for WC 2010, I am assuming that a victor has to be determined in the 3rd-place match, meaning that if we are still tied at the end of full-time we will have some extra footy.

66:30 - Modise is beaten like a rented mule as he receives a scissor-kick to the midsection.

68:30 - A ball from Silva finds Guiza, who is once again adjudged to have been offside in a very close call.

69:00 - Substitution for South Africa: Modise off, van Heerden on. Apparently, the latter has been playing for Bruges (cue Colin Farrell jokes).

70:00 - A ball over the top finds Guiza ~19 yards offside. This seems to be a pattern with him. South Africa return the favor.

71:00 - A shot from Guiza from the top of the box runs through several defenders and goes well wide for a goal-kick. That ball comes out to midfield, eventually resulting in an offside call against Mphela.

72:00 - GOAL! Spain 0-1 South Africa. Good work from Parker finds Mphela with the ball deep in the box, but he slips as he turns for the shot. The ball comes out, but only as far as van Heerden, who plays it into Tshabalala. The latter finds Mphela alone in the box, who controls with his knee and blasts it past an unlucky Casillas.

75:00 - The Bafana Bafana fans are in full throat with some raucous vuvuzelaing (possibly not a word) thanks to Mphela's heroics. Del Bosque does not seem pleased.

76:00 - The referee has to give Pique and Mphela a talking-to, but I'm sure the South Africans welcome the time it takes.

77:10 - Apparently, the talking-to was more than that, as Pique and Mphela have both picked up a YC for an unknown reason. Also, goals apparently bring out lurking commenters/UF authors. Where were you all before? I was lonely!

78:45 - Spain are on the back foot as South Africa continue to surge forward. Gaxa sends a cross which Pique was content to let bounce, but Tshabalala gets a foot on it and Casillas has to clean up the mess.

80:00 - Yet another long ball into the box, but Guize is beaten to the ball by Khune.

81:30 - A cross from Capdevila into the box is cleared by Masilela, but Spain are clearly pushing hard now. Mokoena takes charge, and South Africa begin to build, but they too play the ball too long.

82:30 - The latest cross to be cleared is from Arbeloa, and Masilela makes an excellent run that forces a foul (and YC) from Albiol.

83:30 - Substitution for South Africa: Tshabalala off, Mhlongo on.

84:30 - South Africa are content to hoof the ball forward, but Spain are not responding by building through the midfield so there is no resulting counter-attack. A driven ball by Arbeloa barely misses Guiza at the far post, and goes out for a goal-kick.

87:00 - GOAL! Spain 1-1 South Africa. A ball in from Cazorla finds Guiza deep in the box. He controls well, turns, and blasts it low past Khune.

88:00 - GOAL! Spain 2-1 South Africa. Guize completes a brace with a weak floated ball that finds the back of the goal. It looked like a cross to me, but Spain get lucky as the ball hits the post and barrels into the net.

90:00 + 00:30 - 3 minutes of extra time, but South Africa look beaten. Mphela doesn't keep his head down, however, but his cross into the middle is cleared.

90:00 + 01:30 - GOAL! Spain 2-2 South Africa. Riera jumps onto van Heerden's back for a free-kick, but the former takes an extra few seconds to get up off the pitch. The free-kick from Mphela is blasted into the upper 90 past a stunned Casillas. Absolutely no rotation on that ball, just an incredible shot.


90:00 + 03:30 - EXTRA TIME!


+00:00 - The first 15 minutes of extra time kicks off, and we have no idea what will happen next. Perhaps Guiza and Mphela will both complete their hat-trick?

+01:00 - Riera races down the left and finds Llorente (who apparently was subbed on for Sergio) in the middle. The latter turns directly into the defense, and the ball is cleared. On the clearance Sibaya goes down in a heap and leaves the pitch, re-entering 30 seconds later.

+03:30 - Mphela is through but his shot is stopped by Casillas. No matter, as he was offside.

+05:00 - A cross from Capdevila turns into a shot, hitting off the crossbar at the far post as Khune flails helplessly.

+06:00 - Xabi Alonso fouls Gaxa at the very edge of the box. The resulting free-kick from van Heerden is cleared by Riera.

+07:00 - Mphela is played over the top, and this time he is onside. 1-on-1 with Casillas, the GK comes up big, making the save with his feet.

+09:30 - An excellent tackle on Arbeloa results in a corner for Spain, which is played short. Silva's effort at a cross is headed out by Llorente.

+11:30 - South Africa surge and Mphela finds Mhlongo, who lays off for Parker. The shot is well-taken, and forces Casillas to tip it out for a corner. The resulting ball from van Heerden comes to the back post deep for a diving header for Mhlongo, which goes over the bar.

+13:00 - A cross from Riera finds Silva in the air, but his header is extremely poor and goes well wide.

+14:00 - A cross from Arbeloa finds Riera at the back post, and his header comes off Mhlongo's arm and goes out. Looked to be a PK as his hand was well away from his body, but the referee doesn't make the call.


+15:00 + 01:00 - HALF-TIME OF EXTRA TIME!


+15:00 - And we're off again. 15 minutes until PKs.

+15:30 - GOAL! Spain 3-2 South Africa. Booth fouls Llorente out wide near the top of the box. The free-kick from Xabi Alonso comes in past everyone and catches Khune off-guard, as Llorente and Booth both make a play on the ball and provide just enough of a screen.

+17:30 - YC to Masilela for a foul on Arbeloa as he gave him a bit of an elbow in the chops.

+18:30 - Mphela gets a talking-to from the referee for a foul on Xabi Alonso. The free-kick from midfield is played to Guiza, and eventually Llorente is fouled by Mokoena 35 yards away. The resulting free-kick from Xabi Alonso is played into the box and cleared by Booth.

+22:00 - Cazorla receives the ball alone at the top of the box, but he elects to take a final dribble to get the ball onto his left foot. His shot is sent well wide.

+22:30 - Parker goes down at the top of the box after contact from Albiol, but it was definitely a dive.

+24:00 - Spain are dominating the possession now, and they are contact to move the ball around without pressure. Llorente receives a YC for an unknown offense.

+26:30 - South Africa gain possession through a foul, but they are looked very unsettled. A long ball forward from Booth is easily cleared by the Spanish defense.

+28:30 - South Africa make a final push, but the ball is turned out for a throw-in to Spain. The Bafana Bafana look tired, and are unable to get any consistent pressure out of the midfield.


MATCH OVER! Spain 3-2 South Africa.


Definitely an exciting finish to the match, and an unfortunate result for South Africa. They played extremely well but just didn't have enough gas. Thanks for joining me, and come back later for the USA v. Brazil liveblog!

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Confederations Cup Update

Seems the UF crew has decided to take today off and spend it outside or something, but never fear, we will still be your Confederations Cup Liveblog Leaders tomorrow. Both games are scheduled for liveblogging.

The third place match is set for 9:00 am ET and the final at 2:30 ET.

Hopefully we'll see/read you here tomorrow.

Read more on "Confederations Cup Update"...

Okay, Let's Put This Bitch to Bed and Get Ready For Brazil

Fuck soccer, I gotta dance!

Well, the euphoria from yesterday is slowly melting away. That means it's time to either break down Sunday's final against Brazil or see if we can't squeeze a couple of dick jokes out of Wednesday.

Yeah, we're sophomoric. But we actually tried to show some range with our juvenalia. Believe us when we say that we could have done an entire set themed with nothing but gay quips.

Some of these are more inspired than others. Enjoy.

Shit... Of course Salat is in the middle of the semi.

Dude, we're never going to find your contact out here.

Dammit, I knew I shouldn't have made that bet... Okay, which American wants to get blown first?

It's just how I always dreamed it. Right down to the Village People music.

Feel that? See it is true what they say about big hands.

Carlos, look at that. A monkey scored the clincher... Wait, is that racist?

There's actually no caption for this one. I just dig it because it totally reminds me of this picture of Master Shake (Use your imagination for the tiny Meatwads).

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Confederations Cup Liveblog: Brazil-South Africa

Welcome to the UF liveblog of the second Confederations Cup semifinal. I have two predictions. One: We will not surpass yesterday's comment total. Two: I will write shorter updates than LB does. Beyond that, this tournament has taught me not to make any grandiose predictions on the game itself, because I will be wrong.

I'm sure many of you are like me, still floating on a high after yesterday's US win over Spain. We have 72 more hours to enjoy it until the final kicks off. The presumption is that the Americans will face Brazil in the final, of course, but the game must be played first. And this is why we are here.

Sit back, enjoy, and complain about the vuvuzelas. It's the natural order of things.

Brazil: Julio Cesar; Maicon, Lucio, Luisao, Andre Santos; Felipe Melo, Gilberto Silva, Ramires, Kaka; Luis Fabiano, Robinho.

South Africa: Khune; Gaxa, Masilela, Mokoena, Booth; Mhlongo, Dikgacoi, Pienaar, Modise, Tshabalala; Parker.

Alright, one prediction. Brazil in a cakewalk. There is four goals worth of difference between these teams. Let's see it.
----------------------------------------------
-7.00 Ref is Busacca from Switzerland, if you care.

-6.00 Booth is tall, isn't he? Robinho smiling like he's riding the bus or getting a discount at a store.

-4.00 Is it bad that I was laughing yesterday when Iker Casillas, representing Spain, read the anti-racism thingy?

-2.00 I haven't heard a temperature update, but I'm presuming cold since Julio Cesar had two neck warmers on. Brazil's anthem short and sweet. South Africa's presumably newer.

The crowd stops blowing those damned horns long enough to give a rousing rendition of their anthem. (Unless the voices are piped in)

0.00 Kickoff. Seems to be a couple of minutes behind, unless ESPN is delaying the feed.

2.00 The first big BOOOOTH of the night. Pitch is the same as US-Egypt, and is in horrible shape.

4.00 Kaka fouls the crap out of Pienaar. Feels bad about it.

6.00 Brazil maintaining most of the early possession, but can't break through in the last twenty so far.

7.00 Dunga also cold. Looks stylish in his "High School Senior All Dressed Up" look .

9.00 Andre Santos gives the ball away and gifts SA a counter, but it comes to nothing. Andre Santos eventually the one to win the ball back. See that Deuce?

10.00 Julio Cesar doing jumping jacks to stay warm. Might be most of his action tonight.

12.00 First real shot of the game saved by Khume going to his left. Ramires with the shit from just inside the box. Maicon with the running on the right to set it up.

13.00 Quickly to the other end, Cesar has to make a dive after Andre Santos loses his man. The shot whistled wide.

15.00 A couple of times tonight, SA have had difficulty clearing the ball from their own box, instead seeing it pinball off of other players. Will such a mistake catch them out?

17.00 Brazil have a promising three on two shut down because of poor passing. Not much of an edge so far from the South American giants.

19.00 Robinho falls down after beating his man. Make no mistake, SA are packed in and it will take a special effort to beat them tonight.

21.00 Mokoena comes so very close. Lucio let him go on a free kick and Mokoena headed over from maybe three yards. Tough that. They need to make sure of the few chances they get.

23.00 SA have started to attack more, but that leaves them more open for a counter. One almost worked for Brazil there. Undeterred, SA press forward again, but it comes to nothing.

24.00 Robinho sure does love his step overs, doesn't he?

26.00 Pienaar kills a SA attack with a Landycakes type pass to no one.

28.00 SA free kick upcoming from about the same area that Mokoena headed over from earlier. Three players on top of it. Tshabalala takes it and forces a save from Cesar. Corner kick. Gets headed out by SA.

31.00 SA with the better of play. Yellow Card on Felipe Melo for flipping Gaxa. SA advantage played until Modise shoots wide. On the other end, Ramires' heavy touch in the box means he loses out on a nice look at goal.

32.00 Robinho called for offside. Correct call by a yard. Khune still saved the sit.

34.00 Andre Santos with a shot from 20. Saved well by Khune. Fabiano looked to have handled in the build up. Question: Where the F is Kaka? He's invisible.

35.00 Game getting chippy with some hard fouls. Ramires the latest to dish one out.

37.00 Brazil are getting their counters, but then holding the ball up and allowing SA to gain numbers and position. Strange.

Kaka sighting. Shot from 22 after moving in from the right misses the top corner by a yard or so.

39.00 Robinho wins a corner under the challenge of Mokoena and Booth. Poorly taken by Maicon.

40.00 Tshabalala is the most fun name to say in the tournament. Derek Rae certainly thinks so.

41.00 What is Method Man doing in the crowd?

42.00 Another Brazil counter. Kaka takes it nearly the whole way and tries to squeak it in near post on Khune. Khune gets down just in time to palm the ball on the ground.

43.00 Pienaar with a shot from 25 just gets saved by Cesar. No corner though.

45.00 Yellow card for Masilela. Took out the ankle of Andre Santos dead center on front of the goal, 25 yards out. Free kick upcoming. Who fancies it?

Brazil try tricky, but Pienaar runs it down.

Tweet tweet TWEEEET

As odd as it sounds to say, this game is rather even. Brazil seemed to get pissy at about the twenty minute mark and allowed SA into the game. South Africa obliged and got themselves some good chances. Both teams have gone close and could have scored.

The halftime talk for Brazil should be about how to get their heads back into the game and not to slow down on counter attacks. South Africa must look for more of the same effort, especially defensively.

See you in 15.

45.01 Second half begins. To be fair to Kaka from earlier, he was invisible because he wasn't being looked for. Hopefully, Brazil can rectify that in this half. I do not want extra time.

46.00 Early corner for Brazil goes to nowt.

47.00 Oh yeah, Gilberto Silva is out there too. Midfield for Brazil not used too much in the first half. Robinho shoots well over from 25+.

49.00 Kaka has the best straight arm in the business. Corner kick Brazil.
Nothing doing.

51.00 BZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

52.00 Kaka heads over off of a ball from Maicon. Wasn't convining attaking the ball.

54.00 SA working the left side and finally find Parker in with a look. Looked like his shot was deflected, but in the end was just that bad.

56.00 Maicon and Ramires work a two man game on the right. Cross in gets to Fabiano but his challenged header goes nowhere near the goal.

58.00 Modise's shot from outside the box takes a deflection off Luisao. Cesar initially went the other way and had to scramble to push the ball around the post. It was going in otherwise.

59.00 SA have taken over the game once again.

60.00 SA outshooting Brazil 11-9 at this point. Also, we hear singing instead of vuvuzelas. Nice.

61.00 Andre Santos gets a Yellow Card after taking Modise out at midfield.

62.00 Luis Fabiano gets a shot off. Was never going to beat Khune.

63.00 Robinho tries a half bike off of a giveaway. Goes wide of the post. Question-Is Jo'burg at altitude? Is that affecting Brazil? (Answers-yes;maybe)

67.00 More SA attacking. Brazil are looking to have everything covered, though.

69.00 The problem seems to be that neither team is looking to make that break-the-defense-open pass. Both teams are willing to shoot from distance at this point. It's not working.

71.00 Mhlongo gets called for a touch foul on Kaka. Sometihng indirect, so I don't know. Free kick goes for *gasp* nothing. Where are the subs?

74.00 Luisao seemed to play the man more than the ball on a cross from Tshabalala to Parker. No call though.

75.00 Brazil starting to wonder if they can play Italy again, because this sucks.

77.00 Extra time starting to look like a real possibility. Why don't Brazil sub?

78.00 Brazil have a couple of half chances, but SA defense are in the way of everything.

80.00 SA starting to look tired as well. Great.

81.00 More SA shots from 30+.

81.00 If this thing goes all the way to PKs, I want a raise. Dani Ales about to come on.

82.00 Corner kick Brazil. SUB: Alves on for Andre Santos. RB for LB. Corner kick clears everyone.

84.00 Lucio fouls Pienaar 35 yards out. Let's watch this shot miss.
Nope. Hits the onrushing wall.

86.00 Agreed gramesy.

86.00 Free kick in close for Brazil. On the left side, right outside the box. Come on, anything. It will be Alves.

GOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLL And I just cheered that there will be no extra time. Alves hits it hard to the far post and Khune was nowhere close. Slid just inside the post.

88.00 Alves Yellow Card for over celebration.

90.00 SA prepare their first sub. It's a double sub.
Fabiano blows a one on one.

Only one minute added. It's half over already.

Triple Sub: two for SA, one for Brazil. None of them will get a kick.

I was wrong, Kleberson gets a touch. Two minutes in to the one minute added on.

More subs. Last shot for SA.

FULL TIME
After a false whistle, the final whistle finally goes. Tough luck for South Africa who outplayed Brazil for long stretches of the match. There is something to be said, though, for not settling on a 30 yard shot. Brazil's winning goal come on a free kick after Brazil attacked the defense.

That's all there is to it. We'll see you on Sunday for the third place and final matches.

Read more on "Confederations Cup Liveblog: Brazil-South Africa"...

Confederations Cup Liveblog: Spain v. USA

Running late - let's get this mother going!

No time for subtext, Dr. Jones... LB jr had a doctor's appointment this morning (he's fine), and we're ready for the off.

Big question: how can the US stop this Spanish team scoring? I still love the whimsy of their anthem.

LINEUPS:
SPAIN (4-1-2-1-2): Casillas - Capdevila, Puyol, Pique, Sergio Ramos - Xabi Alonso - Riera, Fabregas - Xavi - Torres, David Villa.
Subs: everyone else

USA (4-2-2-2): Howard - Demerit, Bocanegra, Onyewu, Spector - Clark, Bradley - Donovan, Dempsey - Altidore, Davies.
Subs: everyone else

Vuvuzelas at the ready!

Preamble: It's going to be a long day down the flanks for the US. Capdevila and Ramos LOVE to get forward, and the two guys in front of them, Riera and Cesc, are no slouches with the crossing either. Spain need to keep their shape and hope that the speed of the US team doesn't cause too much havoc in the space the wing-backs vacate.

And we're off!

1 min: Xabi Alonso has some time to spray passes around before it works wide left with some lovely one-touch passing. Riera's low cross is sidefooted away by Gooch.

3 mins: Pressure down the US end, naturally. Cesc gets bundled over by Bocanegra, and the Spaniards take it short. Fabregas has his cross deflected, and as it loops toward goal, Howard does the safe thing in tipping it over. Spain take the corner short, but Xavi's delivery doesn't find his man and a foul in the box gives the USMNT a breather.

Then the US break well down the left, with Altidore winning a corner off Puyol as he tries to square the ball into the middle. Corner doesn't come to much.

5 mins: Landy goes into the book! Seriously, an unfair call, but as 7 EPL players found out last season, you don't fuck with Xabi Alonso as it gets you stamped right into the ref's book. The two arrive at the same time for a loose ball, but Xabi gets the shit end of the contact and the ref rushes for his book. Before that, Casillas nearly screwed up a clearance to put Xabi/Landy in that situation, coming out of his box to shin it clear.

Then he does it again! The Spanish offside trap looks as effective as the Maginot Line (yeah, UFers, I read our email thread from this morning).

7 mins: CHARLIE DAVIES BICYCLE KICK ACTION! Bright start for the USMNT, who are playing with the proverbial "nothing to lose". Getting round the back of those wing-backs is always going to cause problems. As Altidore gets clear in the box wide right, he finds his man on the overlap and the cross reaches Davies in space 12 yards out, but he can't do anything more than bicycle it instinctively and it 's always heading wide. Still, I'm impressed with their fearlessness thus far.

9 mins: Screamer from Dempsey 18 yards out, but it's juuuuust wide of the post. Lots of confidence in all-white thus far today.

@The NY Kid - you don't get to explain the Maginot Line to us. It was rubbish and patently didn't work. Much like Sergio Ramos on defense. Or Damarcus Beasley anywhere on the pitch.

10 mins: Bradley loses Fabregas for a moment, and the mohawked milquetoast volleys from 25 yards, but it's always going over the bar despite the late dip in trajectory.

JP and Harkes are gushing over the USMNT so far, and rightly so... just as they gush a little extra, Spain go close themselves! Torres lurks at the back post and gets to a low cross before his marker, but it's always going wide. Dangerous for a second, there.

@The NY Kid - keep going until you're red in the face, mate. The Line was rubbish.

13 mins: USMNT trick of the day: longballs over the top for Altidore and Davies to chase, chase, chase. Not a bad gambit considering Ramos will always be further downfield, and Puyol's a bit old and thus, the chance to Vidic him (as Torres/Gerrard did during that 4-1 game at Old Trafford, oh yes) is definitely there.

15 mins: A Sepp Blatter sighting! Does anyone else hate him as much as I do? To a man, the least likable person involved in the beautiful game, with that crook Jack Warner a very close second.

Bradley's searching for Davies up the middle, but his pass is too strong. Still, nice to see 'em asking questions of that Spanish backline. After all, it's only human. They're prone to mistakes.

Offside flag goes up against David Villa as he's a step too quick in pursuit of a pretty-looking cross by Ramos. The USMNT are defending a high, high line, which is troubling considering the pace Spain has up front. There's being aggressive, and being foolish. Might be straying towards foolish with that line.

17 mins: ESSENTIAL TRUTHS WITH JOHN HARKES, Pt. 1 of many: "The US is not New Zealand." Indeed they are not. Do you say that because it's not 3-0 already?

Fuuuuck me, close for Spain. Somehow, Torres is completely unmarked in the middle as Onyewu and Bocanegra leave him a nice 10-yard circle of room in which to operate. He gets the ball, turns and shoots, forcing a good save from Howard, but then the linesman flags for offside. On the replay, he was on. C'mon, officials! First the Landy card, and now this. One thing is certain: that high backline is gonna be mauled if they don't switch it up.

@EbullientFatalist - no clue why they seem to think Sergio Ramos is a physical player. He's Spanish! Surely Bornstein could have handled that.

20 mins: Donovan tries to get Davies through on goal when he maybe should have taken a shot, and Spain clear. They break up the left via Villa, who gets to the touchline again and cuts it square, but one of those tall Sequoia-looking motherfuckers in the middle gets it clear.

21 mins: Donovan learns from his mistake 60 seconds ago, cutting in from the left, dribbling freely up the middle and shooting from 20-odd yards. It's wide of the post, but you knew that already.

In a flash, it comes right back down the other end, and some sloppiness from the US gives a couple of scoring chances for Spain... the move ends with Riera dragging his shot across the face of goal from a narrow angle.

Demerit clears another low cross from the left wing. While the US midfield is holding its own, the backline is awfully bunched up, allowing plenty of space for overlaps down the flanks. That, coupled with their dangerous offside trap being so high up the pitch, and I fear the worst. Still, as long as Spain stays scoreless, I guess you could call it successful.

24 mins: Riera looks for Villa in the middle, but Onyewu is there to knock it behind for a corner. Xavi to take.... he plonks it right on Onyewu's forehead and it's cleared, but only as far as Capdevila, and Spain get another corner as Fabregas lurks looking for the ball over the top. It's taken short, and kinda wasted. Once they hoof it upfield, Puyol fouls Davies at the halfway line to give his defenders a breather.

A NOTE OF THANKS: seriously, you guys are great for coming to UF during all this USMNT hullabaloo.

27 mins: GOAL GOAL GOAL GOAL.... IN YOUR FACE, LA LIGA! What a move by the Villareal and Xerex reject Jozy Altidore... maybe the Spaniards will give him a run out when the domestic season starts again. The striker gets a yard of room in the middle to spin off Pique with his hip, leaving him for dust, and his shot is right at Casillas, who can only parry it in off his post with Puyol trying in vain to get back. Nice goal, that. What say you folk? Spain 0, USA 1

Well, that was something, wasn't it? Altidore gets booked for taking his shirt off during the celebration, but he gives not a flying fuck. How will Spain respond? Dellacamera is talking about "panic", which is perhaps a bit much considering there's an hour to go. I do, however, fear the gushing from the likes of Galarcep come tomorrow morning... honestly, that worries me more than the US losing 4-1.

30 mins: Spain picks up right where they left off, crowding the edge of the area yet finding no clear scoring chances. Ramos floats a beauty to the back post where Villa controls first-time, but Spector is there to block the shot. Spain do win a corner, and then another one as Spector(?) heads over. Xavi delivers to a US player again, and the Yanks clear.

CLOSE FOR SPAIN! From a broken play, too. Looked like a foul on Bradley in the midfield, but Riera takes it, shoots from distance, and the block falls to Villa. He takes a step to try and get some room, but blasts it over the bar from the edge of the box. Still, Spain keep pushing up the wings.

34 mins: It's been all Spain since the goal, and there's always the danger of trying to sit back and camp on a 1-0 lead, especially when you're angling for the upset. Mustn't forget how to attack, USMNT... so far you're hoofing it right back to 'em. Onyewu stoops low to head it out for a throw after the 2,475th cross from the left wing. Torres is caught offside from the throw, and is incredulous. I kinda am too, as that's kinda impossible.

@Mike Georger - yes, somehow they did. The linesmen have been very creative thus far.

36 mins: Free-kick for the US some 30 yards out as Davies gets bundled over. Donovan puts in a lovely cross to the back post, and Dempsey steals the header from Bocanegra, who was much better placed, to put it over the bar. D'oh. Coulda, shoulda been 2-0 if we're honest.

Boy, how Spain is missing some physicality in that midfield. Too many fleet-footed stepover kings there. Xabi Alonso can't do it all back there. They'd give all the paella in Catalunya for Marcos Senna right now.

As I type that, Spain comes close again! Beautiful passing opens up the right wing for Ramos, and he is able to find Torres unmarked in the box. He can't control, and also looks to pass instead of shoot, giving Onyewu enough time to lean in and knock it away for a corner that Xavi promptly wastes.

40 mins: Nice play by Altidore, who is giving the Spaniards all kinds of trouble on the ball. Capdevila plays it left-to-right to Ramos, and as he tries to cut it in for Xabi Alonso, Jozy is there to intervene and he takes a hard foul from the Liverpool man.

Seriously though: I know Altidore is still a bit rough around the edges and all, but why won't a Spanish club let him play? Is their racism still that bad over there?

Hard to keep up right now; Howard comes out of his area to clear the ball before Torres can reach it, and then Spain get a free-kick (didn't see what happened). Xavi tries to be clever and play it right across the edge of the box, but Donovan clears. It doesn't go far, and Spain set up another assault that almost pays off. Altidore gives it away and Villa gets it on the right via a lovely through-ball... his low cross for Ramos is denied at the last second by Bradley's hard challenge. Trying times for the USMNT since the goal -- they're defending on their heels and hoofing it clear every time, allowing Spain to reset and try, try again. Surely they can't hold the 1-0 lead?

45 mins: The Great Assault on Howard continues... this is becoming as lop-sided as that Assault on Precinct 13 (although Denzel did have some weapons eventually). Torres jinks inside his marker with ease on the right side of the box and shoots low with his left peg, forcing Howard to save with his calf. The ball bounces up and teases David Villa, who fouls as he tries to nudge a header goalward for one of the three Spaniards waiting at the back post.

One minute of stoppage time. And it's quickly gone.

HALF TIME: Spain 0, USA 1
Well, that was unexpected. The US are playing very well so far, at least in terms of scoreline. 25 minutes of positive, attacking football gave them the goal, and the final 20 have brought an avalanche of nearly-theres for the World's #1 team. Desperate defending at times, but Howard's goal remains unravaged by that scary assemblage of goalscorers in red shirts.

Thoughts?

And we're back. My fingers are tired, but this game has lived up to my wildest dreams thus far. The Spaniards are quite flimsy in the midfield despite all their wonderful playmakers, and the USMNT are taking advantage.

Thanks also for the thank yous! Without you lot, we'd be nothing.

Bourbon glass = refilled
Plate of Nachos = refilled

And here come JP and John for more truthiness.

46 mins: Nice, ESPN. You missed the kickoff due to commercials. Had to squeeze one more Mike's Hard Lemonade shout-out in, didn't you?

47 mins: Donovan is, much as it pains me to admit, having a good game. Causing problems on the wings. His latest cross is blocked out for a corner, which he takes himself. It's a good delivery, and Dempsey tries the diving header, pushing it over the bar with Xabi Alonso's boot in attendance.

48 mins: Torres gets space out wide right and floats a dangerous cross to the back post, but Howard's there to punch it out for a throw. From the throw Villa gets some space to shoot, and it takes a wonderful diving save from the Everton man to keep it out. Corner, Spain... they take it short and Xabi Alonso has a crack from 25 yards, putting it just over the bar. Second half has begun much like the first ended.

49 mins: MAYBE A PENALTY BUT ALMOST CERTAINLY NOT! Onyewu came forward and left Demerit all alone to deal with David Villa up the middle. Villa tumbles in the box with Howard coming off his line, but he was always falling over.

50 mins: Spector does well to head yet another Ramos cross away from danger, but he hoofs it right back to the Spaniards and Xabi resets the attack. It's sloppy, but effective, defending from the US to keep their 1-0 lead. Sergio Ramos has set up camp on that right wing.

51 mins: Xavi has room to shoot in that space between Bradley/Clark and Onyewu/Demerit... his shot is deflected out for a corner that amounts to nothing.

Another corner for Spain as Spector blocks Riera's run and cross. Xavi takes it short and Villa gets it, controls it and volleys from a tight angle, but Howard plucks it out of the sky.

Harkes is right for once: every time the US clear, they give it right back to Spain so they can attack again. I'd say that the US has maybe enjoyed a minute of possession so far this half.

53 mins: As I type that, Donovan springs Davies down the right, but his cross is too long for Altidore.

54 mins: ANOTHER PENALTY FOR SPAIN BUT NOT REALLY! Looked like Xavi took a tumble, though in an offside position, under pressure from Donovan. On the replay, it looked like Landy did barge the tiny midfielder down, but the whistle remains quiet.

Riera has a crack from 20 yards, turning neatly inside Spector and shooting wide of the near post with Howard across to cover.

@J - no live feed of the Showdown in Chinatown, sadly. Fear not, as we have a quartet of correspondents there to do interviews, blog it, and also a UF first, some original video content! Stay tuned for Friday when we get the bulk of it up on the site.

57 mins: Howard saves well again from Villa, and the last minute or so has been all down the other end. Altidore's physicality wins the US a corner off Capdevila. Donovan to take...

... he floats it in to the middle, looks like Pique headed it clear, but it falls to Ricardo Clark who volleys it from 25 yards into that proverbial cliche, Row ZZ.

Thought: when will the US get their unfair red card? Soon?

59 mins: For all the shots on goal by the European champs, the US have survived to the hour mark with their 1-0 lead still intact. Squeaky bum time forthcoming.

Pique tries to get free up the right wing, even though he has no business doing so, and Bocanegra picks his moment to put a foot in and toepoke it back to Howard.

60 mins: The 10,118th corner for Spain. Xavi botches it again! Under pressure from Donovan, Xavi then gives up a throw-in. Breather for that US backline, but only for a minute.

61 mins: Wonderful shot by David Villa! Spector loses the ball from the throw-in, and Villa shoots just wide of the post from 20 yards.

NOT A PENALTY FOR THE US! The ball is hoofed forward and Altidore has time to control it. He wants to shoot from a narrow angle, but Puyol is there to tidy up.

63 mins: Villa's been rather wasteful today, missing with another effort and then failing to release Torres up the middle with the goal beckoning.

Ramos puts another cross in that finds Villa in the middle. He leaves for Riera who is galloping in behind him, but Spector's there to block. Assault on Precinct Howard continues.

65 mins: Seriously, are Spain going to score or what? The Siege continues as Howard makes two saves in quick succession, from Sergio Ramos of all folk, and then with the defense bunched, Ricardo Clark makes a tremendous block to keep out Ramos again. The US look exhausted, but still, their goal is virginal.

67 mins: Fabregas takes way too much time on the ball, cutting inside from the right with just one to beat. He dawdles an awfully long time before chipping a rather soft cross into the middle, and Donovan is there again to head it clear.

Del Bosque has had enough: Fabregas off, Santi Cazorla on. A true right-wing option now emerges for Spain.

68 mins: Torres is frustrated once more as the cross is too short and too soft for him to get to, and Bob Bradley's making changes himself.

69 mins: Subs for the USMNT: Charlie Davies off, Benny Feilhaber on. They need that midfield help to keep their shape. Parking the bus now becomes the obvious option, and I am stunned that 20 minutes stand between the USMNT and a massive, huge, enormous fucking upset. To be fair to Spain, they've been rather unlucky too, but that's nitpicking at this point. The US are defending like titans in the face of all this pressure.

70 mins: Donovan has room on the right to try and deliver a nice cross. He doesn't, particularly, though Dempsey does get clattered to the turf by Puyol as the ball comes in. No whistle.

If you're Del Bosque, what do you do subs-wise? Two more to make... David Silva? Sergi Busquets? They need some speed, and Riera is clearly exhausted and settling into that below-average form that he found with Liverpool after Christmas.

71 mins: Xabi Alonso's pass out right is too strong for Santi Cazorla to reach, and it's a USMNT throw-in. Then, Spain get to attack again, but Demerit is there to block off Torres from getting control of the delivery. Tremendous defending by Demerit again.

74 mins: GOAL GOAL GOAL GOAL... and I cannot believe it! US strike again on the break! You can hear Harkes laughing in the commentary box as he moves away from the mic. Feilhaber gets it wide right as Altidore breaks up the middle... Sergio Ramos displays some absolutely shocking defending in controlling the ball and teeing it up for Clint Dempsey, who is right there behind him to nip in and tap home with Casillas a million miles away. Pique hugs the post, hoping for the ground to swallow him whole. Ramos is incredulous. Unbelievable! Spain 0, USA 2

77 mins Sorry the update is a little slow... having a spot of technical difficulty at my end.

Mata is on for Albert Riera, and he wins a corner off Spector. They do nothing with it again as the defense holds. Feilhaber then bundles down Santi Cazorla, but Villa puts the free kick right into Howard's arms. For all their bluster and pace, Spain is not really creating too many clear-cut chances. Villa and Torres have been well controlled by Spector, DeMerit and Onyewu today. Unbelievable stuff.

80 mins: Xabi Alonso has another crack from distance after Mata's cut in from the left, but Howard parries it away. All Spain still, and still nothing to show for it. They're lining up in the 6-yard-box for a chance to touch one home, but the US are holding firm.

85 mins: SORRY FOLKS! My computer is struggling under the weight of all these Spain shots on goal. Conor Casey replaces Altidore, and the Spanish assault keeps coming up empty. Capdevila heads over from an offside position, a couple more difficult chances, and then the inevitable... US RED CARD! They have to be consistent. He goes in late and low on Xavi, I think, and the ref shows a straight red. Bit harsh, that, and a tarnish on their titanic performance.

From the free-kick, Onyewu is there again to impede David Villa.

86 mins: The pattern continues: Spain cross, US deflect/head clear. Spain cross, US deflect/head clar. Spain cross, US clear.

Final sub for USMNT... the tireless, peerless Clint Dempsey off, replaced by Jonathan Bornstein.

88 mins: Time to start discussing the end of Spain's almost-record unbeaten streak and winning streak?

89 mins: Pique gets a yellow card for Chelsea-ing the referee. Respect the Ref = not dead just yet! Conor Casey chases the ball into the corner and looks to hold off Capdevila, but he can't. Spain break again up the left, but David Villa, who's been rather selfish and rubbish today in equal measures, is offside. Will this cut his price tag enough so that Liverpool can buy him on the cheap?

Three minutes of stoppage time.

90 mins: THE BUS IS PARKED! Epic defending at the back by the US today. This time, Howard skips off his line to rob Mata who was lurking at the near post. Today, the little pigs' house was made of brick, and the Big Bad Spanish Wolf was left a-knocking at the door.

I don't know how much credit Bob Bradley can take for this; simply put, his XI showed up today. I eagerly/not-so-eagerly await the USMNT soundbites after the game.

90 mins + 2: Still a whole lot of nothing from the selfish douche, David Villa. Seriously, he's been crap today. 40 seconds to go! Alexei Lalas has enough time to jerk off to completion before the live feed cuts to Bristol, CT.

FULL TIME: Spain 0, USA 2
Wow. Just, wow. Have a drink tonight, fellas, as you earned that one. Not only did they successfully defend, albeit desperately at times, against that frightening Spanish attacking corps, but they took their smattering of chances when prompted and made 'em count. Just, wow.

I repeat: wow. Holy fucking wow.

Thanks for playing along, folks. Gush at will! You've earned it! A stupendous, phenomenal win by the US today. We can kinda ignore those blips last week v. Brazil and Italy, not entirely mind you, but somewhat. Beating Spain counts at atonement, right?

Also, sorry the updates got a little slow at the end there. My computer was literally dying.

Read more on "Confederations Cup Liveblog: Spain v. USA"...