When 15 Seconds Isn't Quite Fast Enough [UPDATE]

In advance of Cruzeiro’s mid-week return match against Argentine side Estudiantes in the Copa Libertadores final, the Brazilians sent out a team of reserves for its Campeonato match against Atletico Mineiro.

Apparently, striker Ze Carlos didn’t even want to spend his afternoon playing in a potential beat down as he managed to get himself sent off after just 15 seconds.

The real crime? Ze Carlos even apologized, to no avail.

"I slipped, went to control the ball, turned and my arm hit Renan in the face. I even said sorry but I ended up being sent off. It was not on purpose."

Really, what’s the point if you’re not going to intentionally try to get run so early? Ze Carlos’ efforts didn’t even earn him soccer’s fastest red card. It’s not even close really.

Just last December David Pratt of Chippenham Town (in England’s Southern Premier League) got a straight red for a reckless tackle just three seconds into a match. Before that, the fastest sending off was generally accepted to be 10 seconds. That distinction was held for the better part of two decades by Giuseppe Lorenzo of Bologna.

Cruzeiro lost the match 3-0. Not that they care much. Again they sent out a side full of reserves anyway, resting first team players in advance of their Wednesday return match against Estudiantes.

With the win Atletico took over first in the Campeonato.

Now with video! (well, as long as it stays up)

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FIFA Wants to F*ck With The Jesus

Brazil might very well already be on double secret probation. Why? Loving the Jesus. Actually FIFA probably doesn't care how much they love Jesus, they just want them to stop telling the world as much.

A warning letter was sent to the Brazilian football federation ‘to remind them of the relevant regulations, so that such incidents do not recur in the future’. Brazilian players, and Kaka in particular, are well-known for their strong religious beliefs and the squad and backroom staff formed a large circle and sank to their knees in prayer after the victory over the US at the end of last month.

Wait, I though God only blessed America. If He helped Brazil defeat us in soccer then I'm never trusting a slogan printed on currency ever again.

The letter barely even amounts to a hand slap as FIFA is only reminding Brazil of laws already on the books. Specifically Law 4, Decision 1:

Here’s FIFA Law 4, Decision 1 (compete list of the laws here (Warning: PDF link):

Players must not reveal undergarments showing slogans or advertising. The basic compulsory equipment must not have any political, religious or personal statements.

A player removing his jersey or shirt to reveal slogans or advertising will be sanctioned by the competition organiser. The team of a player whose basic compulsory equipment has political, religious or personal slogans or statements will be sanctioned by the competition organiser or by FIFA.

I didn't know a strongly-worded letter counted as a 'sanction.' Clearly FIFA is now under control of Canadians.

The secularists among us should thank God the Danes had the temerity to speak out. Yes, the Danes. In the wake of the Confederations Cup final when the Brazilian team turned the field into an impromptu cathedral, Jim Stjerne Hansen, the secretary general of the Danish FA, thought the violation egregious enough to raised the issue to FIFA.

"Just as we reject political manifestations, we should also say no to religious ones. There are too many risks involved in clubs, for example, with people of different religious faiths."

It must surely be some sort of eschatological sign when the Danes are the voice of reason. If Kaka can continually show off his subordination, then why can't an Afghan player pull off a jersey with a the message: 'Allah says 'Death to all Infidels and the Great Satan of America."

FIFA didn't comment directly, but merely referred to the rules, which they weren't enforcing. Shocking that FIFA would be so spineless in the face of a world power. Ergo, the letter.

Anyway, Brazil, you're now on notice. Stop loving Jesus or FIFA is going to take a gun, stick it up your ass and pull the fucking trigger until it goes click.

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UF Quick Throw: Lula gets cheeky with Obama

Yuk it up, fat boy. You'll be drinking your next cachaça with Allende after this stunt...

Developing nation Brazil refuses to sign on to any real climate control agreement, but that doesn't mean President Lula didn't crash the G8 bearing gifts. The globular Union leader turned populist political hero greeted President Obama today with his country's signature strip... signed by all the members of the Confederations Cup team. Get it? Time to get the CIA into Brasilia. If this isn't grounds for a coup, I don't what is.

Obama reportedly guaranteed the USMNT would never again blow a 2-0 halftime lead to the Brazilians. Well!

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FIFA Releases New Rankings, World Still Confused

Bigus attempting to understand England's new ranking.

FIFA released the newest world rankings this morning, and there have been some minor changes in the top 15 teams. Considering the recent results of the Confederations Cup, it is not surprising that Brazil has vaulted into 1st place, moving up 4 spots and pushing Spain to 2nd. The former were the biggest movers within the top 10, with no one else gaining or losing more than 3 spots. However, there are some new entrants into the top 15 based on results from their past several matches.



Your new top 15 are presented here:

1 (+4) Brazil (1672 pts)
2 (-1) Spain (1590 pts)
3 (-1) Netherlands (1379 pts)
4 (0) Italy (1229 pts)
5 (-2) Germany (1207 pts)
6 (+3) Russia (1161 pts)
7 (-1) England (1135 pts)
8 (-1) Argentina (1091 pts)
9 (+1) France (1082 pts)
10 (-2) Croatia (1031 pts)
11 (+6) Greece (1001 pts)
12 (+2) USA (983 pts)
13 (+3) Switzerland (930 pts)
14 (+6) Serbia (925 pts)
15 (+9) Denmark (909 pts)


So, Greece, Serbia and Denmark all make a significant move and wind up in the top 15 based on recent performance. Brazil and the US get recognition for their achievements in the Confederations Cup, and England lose 1 position from the June rankings (but are back to where they were in May) based solely on Russia moving ahead of them.

But how exactly are these rankings calculated? Well, the rankings cover all international "A" matches over the past 4 years, with the importance of each year gradually declining (from 100%-50%-30%-20%) in reverse order (i.e. the past 12 month period is the most important), and they include the following elements:

(M) is the result of each match for Win-Draw-Loss (3 pts; 1 pt; 0 pts)
(I) is the importance of the match (1=friendly; 4=FIFA World Cup)
(T) is the strength of the opponent ( [200-FIFA ranking]/100 )
(C) is the strength of the opponent's FIFA confederation, which is based on results in the past 3 World Cups (wins per confederation per match)

So, the total points (P) accumulated is calculated as:

P = M x I x T x C x 100

If that's not enough math for the day, you can read the complete details of how the points are calculated in FIFA's handy little guide (PDF warning!).

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Taking One for the Team: The Mike Freeman Experience

Apologies for the lack of a catchy intro but my lifeforce has been seriously depleted by dissecting this and I can hardly be bothered.

It's by a Mike Freeman. And he was a victim. A poor sad victim of pretty exciting, fairly competitive soccer match. When I regain my energy, I'm going to record a song about his plight and raise money for his benefit.

Additional apologies (and thanks) to Fire Joe Morgan. Rest in peace. I also apologize for switching voices. It's poor form on my part, I admit it.

Anyway, fun starts after the jump.

One of the last great soccer lies came in the form of David Beckham.

What's a soccer lie? I mean if Beckham was one of the last great ones, doesn't that imply there have been a number of them? And shouldn't someone know about the others? I consume a fair amount of soccer, I don't know one great soccer lie outside of "England will win the next World Cup."

More importantly, what the hell does David Beckham have to do with anything? I mean given the proximity in time of this piece to the final of the Confederations Cup (the day after), I'm guessing this is ultimately about the US Men's National Team. Beckham doesn't play for the USMNT. He can't, he's English. England didn't play in the Confederations Cup. In fact England didn't even qualify for the tournament that qualified a European team for the Confederations Cup.

But Beckham, the big lie. Sure.

He was supposed to make us blokes in the United States care about the sport.

According to whom? I realize I'm asking a lot of questions to start but these unsupported claims sort of need, well, support.

He was a global icon, we were told, the Tiger Woods of soccer, and he'd educate the American heathens about real football.

He still is a global icon. Beckham is massive. In Asia they build temples in his honor and they build him out of chocolate.

Anyway, I'm not sure there even is such a thing as a Tiger Woods of soccer. See Woods plays golf. It's (largely) an individual sport (things like the Ryder Cup are rare exceptions). Beckham plays soccer, it's a team sport with 10 other guys out there. I'm still not sure why I'm even talking about David Beckham but surely as a sportswriter you can appreciate the difference between individual and team sports and see how you fail at analogies.

In 2007, Beckham signed a mega-deal to play for the Los Angeles Galaxy and the media slobbering began in full force. I was one of the suckers who believed Beckham could potentially erode the snobbery people in this country exhibited toward soccer.

See that URL from the Web page your article was on? It starts with the letters See Bee Ess. As in Viacom. I got news for you Mr. Freeman. You're the fucking media. You. You're not some outside observer detached from it, you work for a massive entertainment and media conglomerate, the same one that put Becks on '60 Minutes', the same one that probably sent network and local affiliate reporters to cover his arrival. Shit, maybe a Viacom outlet greenlighted a Posh and Becks reality show. You, your brethren, and your employer did the slobbering and if you fell for anything it was the making of you and your peers. Quit fucking acting like you're above it or outside it.

Swing, miss. But my words were nothing compared to some of the garbage spewed in the orgasmic afterglow of the post-coital meeting of media and megastar that year.

Shit, maybe I should have saved my previous rant until after this sentence. I still can't fathom what Beckham has to do with any of this. And I prefer not to have any sexual imagery attached to it while we're at whatever it is we're at. I mean I think I know where you're going (I'm not a total dumbass) but to start it with Becks is like starting a recap of 'Crime and Punishment' by talking about Pavel Datsyuk. Not even. At least both he and Raskolnikov are Russian.

"What he gives MLS is an immediate GQ rating and free advertising for the league wherever he goes," wrote ESPN.com.

Quoting EPSN. That's Disney. Another massive media conglomerate like the one you work for.

"Between talk-show appearances, the celeb circuit and hanging with the Hollywood A-listers (it's been reported that Brad Pitt has requested soccer lessons from Beckham for his son), Beckham will give MLS a buzz and intro to mainstream pop culture it has never had before."

Pretty sure it did because, well, outlets like ESPN and CBS wrote about Beckham's arrival in America. That's where this shit came from. It's not like there is some grassroots media organizations that were lifting Beckham out of obscurity upon his arrival in the U.S.

"David Beckham is a global sports icon who will transcend the sport of soccer in America,” said Don Garber, commissioner of the MLS at the time.

Uh, he's still commissioner.

None of that happened. Not an ounce of it ever came true. The average attendance of an MLS game is 14,883 people with cities like Dallas and Kansas City averaging around 9,000. The Professional Bowlers Association draws more interest. There was no Beckham Effect.

Okay, let's unpack this. First, if this article has any value, it's in this section as I was pretty astounded to learn that the PBA does draw a higher number than MLS on the 4-letter. It's startling enough that it's shockingly bad form to not take the 90 seconds to Google and give numbers to support it. The PBA gets about a .8, while MLS games—not soccer broadly mind you, but MLS—averages around a .2 rating.

Now, to throw around MLS attendance numbers (for live games) then say that the PBA draws more interest is a disingenuous juxtaposition at best. What's the gate for PBA events? Really, can you even get 9000 (a shitty MLS number) into a bowling alley? Any time I've seen bowling on TV it looks like there are maybe a couple hundred people there; and when I Google "PBA attendance" the first three returns are for the Philippine Basketball Association, the Police Benevolent Association and the Philippine Basketball Association. So if the PBA is keeping attendance numbers, it's not making them easily accessible.

Second, to say "there was no Beckham Effect" is just plain wrong. His debut for the Galaxy in an exhibition drew a 1.0 rating (five times the average). It was also the highest-rated and most-viewed program of the night on ad-supported cable networks among men 18-49 and 25-54.

League-wide average attendance was up in 8.2% in 2007 (Beckham's first season) over 2006. And generally, individual away games where Beckham played spiked dramatically over the average for the home team. Example: when they Becks'ed-up Galaxy made their debut in New York against the Red Bulls, they drew a crowd of 66,237, a club record for an MLS game (i.e. not against an international club side). That's the most dramatic example, sure, but here it's a matter of degree not kind.

Finally, if you knew anything about the sport of soccer you knew Beckham was already a limited player when he arrived in the US. He can't run at people, he can't tackle, he's not good in the air. He still has a lethal right foot particularly when the ball isn't moving, and fortunately for him, a disproportionate number of goals are scored from set pieces. But midfielders in soccer rarely control and dominate games the way a Michael Jordan can in basketball or a Josh Beckett can in baseball. To think Becks was going to come in and light up the scoreboard and magically transform the game into something Americans had to watch was to be willfully ignorant of the game.

Still, couple his diminishing skills with the fact that his effort in MLS was sub-par (really once he put on a Milan jersey he looked like a player who actually gave a shit again) and you got in Beckham exactly what a knowledgeable fan of the game would have expected.

Back on point, to just throw out the number 14,883 and say "No Beckham effect" is shitty journalism. Yes, that's right I just called you a shitty journalist because for some reason only known to a Supremely Perfect Being I am talking about David Beckham and MLS attendance when dissecting a piece I'm 99% certain is going to be (eventually) talking about the Confederations Cup.

With time as an ally, it's easy to see that the Beckham signing was one of the great cons in recent American sports history. More people know who Hedu Turkoglu is than David Beckham.

I'm going to assume you mean Hedo Turkoglu (at least according to his wikipedia page). And I'm going to guess that in soccer-mad Turkey, Beckham is more famous than Hedo in Hedo's home town of Istanbul.

Has anyone ever made a chocolate Turkoglu?

In the end, the only things Beckham conquered in the America were Posh Spice and a few red carpets at Hollywood parties.

The America. Therefor. Such as.

And if you can't conquer your wife, then maybe you should enter the priesthood.

He was the 70 millionth person/moment/slash phenomenon that was supposed to transform America's attitude about soccer, going back to Pele and the New York Cosmos in the 1970s. Remember, Pele was named by Time Magazine as one of the 100 most important people of the 20th century. In retrospect, if Pele couldn't make this country care, no one could.

Pele was probably a good pick for one of the most important people of the 20th century. He and Ali might be the two biggest sporting figures of the last century. Pele got people to watch soccer in the U.S. No doubt about it. Was it sustainable? No. But that's another discussion. But Pele made people care, even if just for a little while.

Still, Pele. Beckham. I count two. You're 69,999,998 short. That's not a trivial amount.

Fast forward to now, and here we go again.

Okay, by my word-counter we are 370 words into a 765-word bit—not too far from halfway—about the US loss in the Confederations Cup final and we are only now getting our first mention of the event itself.

When America beat Spain, the top-ranked country in the world, in the Confederations Cup last week, we were again lectured about watershed moments and forecasts of increasing U.S. interest. "This win is huge for American soccer," said U.S. player Clint Dempsey.

"This win is huge" is a lecture for you? Shit, how did you ever manage to make it through college where they had actual lectures that were longer than seven words (I'm assuming you went to college... which, I'm not sure is a particularly good assumption on my part)?

Knocking off the top ranked team in the world is pretty huge. It was also huge in that, just a few days previous, the US team had been lambasted (and rightfully so) for its uninspired and largely disappointing play. They rallied and beat two continental champions back-to-back by a combined scoreline of 5-0.

Then the U.S. lost 3-2 to Brazil on Sunday, after taking a 2-0 lead. Typical U.S. soccer.

From 1950 to 1990 this sport had no history in America. For all intents and purposes, as a competitive soccer nation we are 20 years old. That's not even fucking old enough to have an M.O. that would qualify as "Typical U.S. soccer."

However, that was the first time that the US had blown a 2-0 halftime lead in international competition (I think that was the stat from the broadcast). So if something is a unique event I'm not entirely sure how it can also be categorized as 'typical' to begin with.

The Spanish win was a set-up. Another tease, followed by another spate of predictions on the upcoming American soccer emergence, followed by another letdown. It's the old U.S. soccer mamba.

First, a mamba is a large, highly-poisonous snake. Dude if we were thought of as something that fucking lethal in soccer by the rest of the world, that would be awesome. I think you took 'mambo' and 'samba' and combined them into something that has nothing to do with either. Well done (just a tip, most personal computers come with a dictionary built into the OS).

Second, "Hey Jesus, yeah, raising Lazarus from the dead, that was pretty cool but I'm not really going to be care unless you raise like an entire village from the dead. Yeah. And not just a village, but a village of knuckle-walkers. I mean people who have been dead for a long ass time. Shit Lazarus was walking around last week. How can we be sure he wasn't sleeping and you just woke him up? I'm going to need something with a much higher degree of difficulty if you want me to be impressed."

There is zero shame in losing 3-2 to Brazil in the final of a FIFA competition. The way we lost might have been crushing to the soul, as for a half, we outplayed them, but Brazil is still just better. They have five World Cups, more than any other country on the planet. If you're somehow put off by the fact that the USMNT failed to do the improbable back-to-back that's really not their fault.

How many times have Americans heard the soccer-will-transform-us mantra before? The site Deadspin.com compiled an interesting list.

In the 1994 World Cup the U.S. beat Colombia 2-1. "This game is going to have a permanent effect" on soccer in America, said Alan Rothenberg, president of the United States Soccer Federation. "It's the biggest so far in history." The permanent effect wasn't so perfect.

What does permanent have to do with perfect other than maybe your desire to be alliterative? The 1950 1-0 win over England was probably bigger so the second part of that statement is suspect. But the 1994 win was the first victory for a US side in the World Cup in 44 years. We made it out of the group stage, and raised expectations such that our inability to get a single point 4 years later in France was considered an absolute failure. Still, we have made every World Cup since the one we hosted. What's more, we expect to qualify. It's a given. So, inasmuch as there have only been 16 years since that win, the effect is about as permanent as it can be.

The U.S. beat heavily favored Argentina in 1995 in the Copa America tournament. "I think this is the first step ... to become a major soccer power," said one of the U.S. players, Cobi Jones.

If by soccer power he meant minor world player, that was accurate.

Another good win. And another step. Steps are small. Still we've been a fixture in and around the Top 20 of the FIFA rankings for a while now. So we're probably better than 'minor.' The rankings are flawed and maybe Jones was over-exhuberant in the afterglow of the win, but relatively speaking we've made good progress since 1995. Moving into the upper echelons of the world soccer hierarchy is a long slow process. What Jones said wasn't wildly off base, that win was a step.

The U.S. team beat Brazil in the 1998 Gold Cup, and the U.S. coach, Steve Sampson, was in full peacock mode. "[The win] states we can play with anyone in the world, and on occasion, beat the best in the world,” he said then.

Not in the World Cup, we can't.

Yes we can. And have. Okay, we probably only have 2 signature World Cup wins since 1950, and only one of those was over a possible favorite to win the Cup. That was Portugal in 2002. And that was an absolute stunner. That year was supposed to be the coming of age of Portugal's 'Golden Generation': Luis Figo, Rui Costa, Jorge Costa, Nuno Gomes, Conceição, Abel Xavier. That team was loaded with world class talent.

But here's the thing about the World Cup: it's fucking hard to win.

England, the nation that invented this sport has won the thing only once (and even then it was when they had the home field advantage). France were the reigning champions in 2002 and they didn't even make it out of their group stage. Wins in the World Cup are hard to come by (especially when FIFA seemingly rigs the draw against you tournament after tournament).

In 2002 the U.S. beat Portugal in the World Cup 3-2. One MLS official at the time said it was the beginning of the emergence of that league.

Do you even read the shit you write? You say we can't beat teams in the World Cup then you list a World Cup victory over one of the tournament favorites. What the fuck is wrong with you?

What the U.S. does is get a handful of wins every decade or so -- or some faded star like Beckham uses our country -- and our wishful-thinking genetics kick in. I've been just as guilty of this as anyone.

Really, why even bother with a half-assed attempt to make all of that nonsense about Beckham seem somehow relevant. Club soccer and international soccer are two different things. Beckham has nothing to do with the USMNT. He plays for MLS. And part time at that. It's a second-or-third rate league. It is. No rational soccer fan in the US will argue otherwise.

Any hype surrounding his arrival has nothing to do with expectations the USMNT might have raised by beating Spain in the semi-final of the Confederations Cup, or the disappointment Americans might have felt when they lost the final to Brazil.

It's typical American arrogance, however, to think that we can compete in a sport that, in many parts of the world, kids start playing in the womb.

Don't all babies kick in the womb? Ha, take that! We're loaded with pre-natal kids playing footie just like Brazil and Italy. Woo hoo! USA! USA!

Arrogance is invading a sovereign nation that's never posed a threat to you simply because you feel like it. Wanting to win at the highest level in sports isn't arrogance. It's a laudable aspiration.

Look, we just reached the final of a FIFA tournament—granted it's not the biggest tournament but all the teams sent close to full-strength, first-choice sides, and our group was loaded—so I'd say we competed (except maybe for the first Brazil game when we got down early and showed little fight).

If German athletes started crowing about how that country could put together an NFL team and then take on the Pittsburgh Steelers, we'd laugh.

Yes, we would. It would be an absolute slaughter. In fact if I had to put it the football score into soccer terms I'd say the Steelers would win somewhere on the order of 10 or 12 to nil.

So yes, the analogy is totally accurate. We put together a soccer team and we go compete against the world's best and we lose 12-0.

Oh wait, we don't. In fact we beat Spain, led Italy for a half even though we were down a man (we ran out of gas then got throttled), and outplayed Brazil for a half before they just overran us. Again, where's the shame in any of this? In fact, American soccer fans are disappointed because it's no longer good enough for us to just compete. We want to win.

I think we've already established your ability to fail at analogies.

If the Germans decided they wanted to play our football, give them 20 years. If they really put an effort into it, they might become competitive. That seems to be about the timeline, 20 years. Think about it. It's been about 20 years since the Dream Team, and if you subscribe to the notion that they turned basketball into a game that the rest of the world wanted to play, then it's taken about 20 years for the rest of the world to catch up. Or look at US Soccer. We first returned to the World Cup after a 40 year absence in 1990. It's been about 20 years. And we might be on the precipice of another step forward.

I'm not suggesting we're going to be a legit threat to win the next World Cup. If this is something you believe based on one result against Spain, that is your fault. Period.

This is the world's game. And competition at that level is insane. We'd need a good draw and maybe a favorable match-up to even make it to the quarters but we're getting better and teams that don't take us seriously, they are going to get beat.

The Great Soccer Con fooled me once before. Feel free to be suckered again. I've learned my lesson.

I thought you said there were 70 million things that were supposed to have transformed soccer in this country. Fool you once, sure. But how slow are you if inductive reasoning doesn't kick in until the 70 millionth time ? Do you take bets that the sun won't rise tomorrow morning? I mean you probably haven't seen it happen 70 million times yet yourself, so maybe you aren't quite sure it's going to happen. How much money do you have?

Look, glad you've learned your lesson. Whatever it is. That we can't beat Brazil but once every 15 times still? Or that Beckham can't transform the century-old sporting culture of a nation in two-season's time?

Just promise to never write another word about a sport you know next to nothing about. Please. Please promise not to watch a single World Cup match no matter how well (or poorly) the USMNT does. Just don't. I"m sure there will be plenty of bowling on next summer to fill the sports-viewing calendar. It's more popular here anyway.

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Confederations Cup Final Liveblog: United States v. Brazil

The NY Kid failed his pregame fitness test, so I'm your last-minute substitution. I promise that I'll try to match his high level of liveblogging from this morning!

From an American perspective, there's not much more hyperbole that can be added to this game, although that hasn't stopped the U.S. media from trying (but hey, at least they're writing about soc-cer!). The statistic you will hear often today is that the United States is playing in its first FIFA tourney final. We can debate whether the Confederations Cup is a real tournament all we want, but needless to say that the American turnaround has been quite remarkable.

Unlike Spain, the Brazilians are in-form and unlikely to roll over today. But then, who would've said that the U.S. would beat Egypt 3-0 to make it into the knockouts, or beat Spain to make it into the finals? In other words, can the U.S. continue their bizarro run through the Confederations Cup? And I said there was no more hyperbole that could be added!!

Lineups, liveblog and lots of your comments after the hop.

Lineups:

Oooh-Essah, Oooh-Essah, Oooh-Essah: Howard, Bocanegra(c), Onyewu, DeMerit, Spector, Feilhaber, Clark, Donovan, Dempsey, Clark, Altidore. Subs: Guzan, Robles, Bornstein, Casey, Pearce, Beasley, Wynne, Klejstan, Adu, Torres, Califf

Brazil: Julio Cesar, Santos, Luisao, Lucio(c), Maicon, Melo, Silva, Kaka, Ramires, Fabiano, Robinho. Subs: Victor, Gomes, Kleber, Elano, Alves, Miranda, Josue, Baptista, Kleberson, Pato, Nilmar, Juan

-30: Harkes is joining Lalas in the studio for the pregame. They're seated awfully close to each other, eh? I expect lots and lots of talk about beating Brazil back in 1998.

-23: Wonder if Giuseppe Rossi is home watching this match? Hahaha.

-20: As EF notes in the comments (hi!) Feilhaber gets the nod in midfield over Klejstan. Bob Bradley made the right move, now it's down to my favorite Brazilian-Jewish-American to make good.

-15: Anyone else notice that the USA's miraculous turnaround coincided with the sudden disappearance of Tommy Smyth from ESPN? Just saying.

-10: Hey look a Bill Simmons commercial. I bet he worked that into his latest contracts (10 commercials about me a week).

-8: Teams are out on the pitch, the stadium looks pretty much full - and the vuvuzelas are already a-buzzin'. Truly, the one word that has been made famous during this tournament. Sepsis Bladder, Jacob Zuma and the other "dignitaries" are shaking the players hands.

-5: The vuvuzelas are adding a nice Lamont Young/John Cage drone to the national anthems.

-3: One of the sideline officials is Mexican. I'm going to be keeping an eye on him!

-1: A tribute to Marc-Vivien Foé, Cameroon midfielder who played for Man City and Lyon.

KICKOFF: Ooof I'm nervous! Brazil kick off.

2: If the first couple minutes mean anything, Brazil look like they'll try to keep the ball and force the Americans run around and tire out. U.S. look like they'll try to put pressure on the Brazilians like they did against Spain.

3: Good play by the U.S. bringing the ball up the pitch, leading to a long shot by Deuce that wasn't troubling the keeper. Then Clark tries a through ball to Davies.

4: Cliche alert! Brazil wants to win beautifully.

6: Brazil pressing into the box. USMNT clear the first corner, here comes another....

7: Kaka has a clear header on the near post but he's far wide. Howard unhappy with the defending.

9: Bigus wants to point out that Harkes lied earlier today: "Harkes just lied. !!! He was asked if he had played against marc vivean foe and he said he had in 94-95. Foe joined west ham in 98!!"

10: GOAL GOAL GOAL DEMPSEY: Wow!! Spector with another fantastic cross, Deuce gets a boot on it and its in the corner of the goal. 1-0 USA!! (Sorry for the delay, Blogger acting up.)

13: Robinho with acres of space and forces a good save by Timmeh, the Americans clear the resulting corner. And then Davies had a break and was bumped... He goes down and the US gets a freekick right outside the box. US corner. Breathless stuff!

14: Bocanegra heads the ball down and the US get another corner. The ball pings around the box. No let up from the Americans, who are looking like the stronger team.

16: Kaka has a shot but Demerit is there to block. Americans need to be very careful on the defensive wings, Spector and Bocanegra are getting consistently beat.

17: Other UFers are checking in.... The Likely Lad couldn't get into a capacity Nevada Smiths (why he went there in the first place I'm not sure), and Autoglass is watching in Paris. How cosmopolitan we are!!

18: US freekick, around 35 yards out. Into the box but Brazil eventually clears.

19: Yellow care to Bocanegra, who was literally hanging on to Kaka. That's one way to defend against the break!

21: US playing lots of men behind the ball. Need to be careful that they don't forget to press forward as well! Still lots of game to be played. Silva kicks the ball behind the ball for a freekick.

22: Spector gets absolutely skinned by Robinho on the wing but the Americans recover. Those wings are making me nervous though. Meanwhile, Feilhaber with a great tackle on Kaka. Mistime it and it would've been a yellow.

24: The Likely Lad reports: "Brazil fans are real douches. Not carrying on so much after the goal."

25: Howard with a very good save on a long Melo shot, who then earns a yellow card for something - probably complaining. Brazil still pressing and the US still defending. Can Brazil punish the Americans for trying to get to the break 1-0?

27: Another great save from Timmeh on a Maicon cross along the line. Brazil gets the corner, US clear to Donovan on the break and....

GOAL DONOVAN!!! 2-0 USMNT! DO YOU BELIEVE IN MIRACLES? YES! Totally against the run of play but the Americans counter very very well, Donovan with a great first touch to beat the Brazilian defender and slot the ball into the corner.

30: US cannot stay content now, and continue to put pressure on the ball and earn a throw-in for their efforts. Cross into the box just out of the reach of two Americans in the box. Wow. Almost a third.

32: Feilhaber and Clark can't quite connect in the box and the Brazilians counter the other way. Gooch clears but the Brazilians come back. Lots of pretty play by the Brazilians around the box but so far the Americans are defending well.

34: Lingering Bursitis checks in after taking a break from baby duty: "Full credit, Americans are playing like they should. Solid D and kill teams with their defense and use their speed. This should be their M.O.!"

35: Another great save from Timmeh from a short-range Santos shot, and then Fabiano heads the ball just over the bar. Phew!

36: Altidore skins Santos, who brings him down and gives up a freekick just outside the box to the right. Well done by Jozy.

37: Free kick just cleared by Brazil, otherwise Deuce would've had a header on goal. Corner to the Americans.

38: Corner goes straight to Cesar, and the Brazilians break right away and earn a free kick around 30 yards outside the goal. Brazil are lining it up here.

39: Brazil too smart for their own good here and waste the freekick. Davies breaks on the counter but his final touch lets him down.

40: Spector beats Kaka one-on-one on the wing. Well done!

41: Lingering Bursitis checks in again: "Maybe Project 2010 wasn't so crazy afterall!" Robinho almost scores but Howard with another last-ditch save.

43: Americans on the back foot again, but do just enough to defend and Maicon's shot goes wide. US will be very, very happy to go in at the half up two goals here!

44: Feilhaber has made several great tackles... So my favorite Brazilian-Jew-American is meeting expectations! Maicon takes a crack from long distance, it's deflected out for a corner that Howard collects. One minute of extra time.

45 Ohhhh Fabiano almost connects on a fantastic cross by Maicon.

TWEET TWEET TWEET Halftime: The USMNT go into the lockerroom up 2-0 on Brazil! Not in my wildest dreams, not even close. 45 minutes to play though. Brazil certainly have the ability to come back here.

Half: So I'm wondering which war metaphor best epitomizes what the US needs to do in the second half: The Alamo? Valley Forge? The Second Battle of Bull Run? The Battle of the Bulge??

Half: Watching Spector play today, I can't help but ask: What was Bob Bradley thinking by playing Marvel Wynne over Spector?? But seriously, no matter what happens the rest of this game, it's difficult to be too mad at Bradley, isn't it? Seems to be making all the right personnel moves lately: Davies, Clark, Spector, Feilhaber. Oh who am I kidding, forget insta-punditry, everything's thrown out the window right now. It's all about holding on against Brazil for the next 45 minutes.

46: US kick off. Deep breath, here we go.

46: GOAL BRAZIL FABIANO: Maicon passes to Fabiano just outside the box with his back to the goal, turns, beats Demerit and Howard. Brilliant goal. 2-1.

48: US a little rattled now. Just showed the replay again. Nothing Demerit or Howard could've done once Fabiano got the ball where he did. Brazil freekick at the halfway line.

50: Kaka waits too long with the ball just outside the box and the Americans clear. Altidore on the break but it goes out of bounds for a U.S. throw-in. Feilhaber has a nice run along the endline but can't keep the ball in the play.

51: End-to-end stuff here. Gotta think that favors Brazil. U.S. can't sit back, but they can't get too stretched either.

52: Better from the US. Defend well against Robinho and then try to break.

53: US break again, Davies wide to Dempsey who can't control and the Brazilians break. A wasted counter.

54: Foul called on Feilhaber against Kaka. Jozy clears it well, but Brazil keep s possession and try a through ball to Fabiano that's too long.

55: Kaka earns another free kick against Feilhaber around 30 yards out. All the calls going the Brazilians' way. Freekick into the wall and then up in the air, but foul called and the US get a freekick in the box. US needs to pull it together here.

58: Brazil with more pretty passing, Maicon crosses from the corner but Timmy gathers. Then a last-minute tackle from Spector against Kaka for a corner. Kaka isn't treating this like an exhibition. And one more great save by Howard on a header by Lucio and then Silva kicks the ball out of play. Nervy, nervy stuff!

60: OH MY! Brazil thought they had the equalizer. Kaka with a freeheader on a corner, Howard just saves and keeps the ball outside the goal mouth. Oh boy on the replay, that looked like a goal.

62: Harkes and JP with the partisan commentary, but that was a shocking call and the Americans are very, very lucky. Howard entirely within the goal and blocked the goal up to the bar.

64: Harkes says that Lucio was definitely offsides when it looked pretty close to me. No matter, Brazil keep pressing. Maybe the Alamo really was the right analogy?

65: Davies breaks and then smartly holds the ball up so the Americans can get a breather. Lando with a nice long shot that forces a good save from Cesar. Americans with rare sustained offense here. Oh and Dempsey with another good long shot! Much better.

66: Here comes the cavalry: Santos off, Dani Alves on. Ramires off, Elano on. Brazil clears the corner and immediately get back on offense.

68: Fabiano is very unhappy about earning a 50-50 foul against Demerit. But the Brazilians get the ball back easily and are back on offense.

69: Americans really need to maintain possession. Meanwhile, Lucio earns a yellow card for dissent.

71: Demerit with a good clearance, the US immediately give up the ball and Howard just barely gets the ball away from Fabiano. US seem totally over-awed here. Just slow things down and keep the damned ball!

72: Dani Alves' first touch is to sky the ball well out of play. A rare breather.

73: Davies takes on four defenders, beats three of them but not the fourth. Hey Bradley, how about some fresh legs here?

74: U.S. makes another good move but it's snuffed out and Brazil comes back the other way....

74 GOAL BRAZIL 2-2 Fabiano: Long coming and deserved. Kaka beats Spector, crossed the ball into the box. First shot comes off the crossbar but Fabiano is righ there to head the ball into the net.

75: Bornstein and Kliejstan on, Jozy off... ESPN won't tell me who else came off.

76: Thanks ESPN, it was Feilhaber off.

78: Kaka with a shot that goes wide. He's easily been the best man on the pitch. Melo with a dangerous jumping challenge that takes out Donovan. Very lucky not to get a second yellow.

79: Cesar makes a good grab on the long freekick from Donovan. Americans still look tired and Brazil still look like they're the more likely to score.

81: Bornstein with a long shot after two giveaways, but not troubling Cesar.

83: More good play from Kaka and Robinho, whose shot looks good but goes wide. Going the other way, Davies goes down easily in the box but the ref isn't impressed.

???: ESPN has dropped the clock from the screen so no idea how much time is left! More last-ditch defending from the Americans. Demerit makes a good clearance.

85: GOAL LUCIO. BRAZIL 3-2: Good header off the corner. U.S. look gassed and Brazil deserve to take the lead, especially with the non-call on the earlier goal.

88: Americans earn a corner. Last sub, Casey for Clark. Good effort by Onyewu but he heads the ball just over the crossbar.

89: Harkes and JP are already spinning the positive. I know Brazil are world class and we should be happy to be here, but Bradley still sucks. U.S. came out in this half totally unprepared, and wound up looking totally deflated after they gave up the first goal. That's on the coach, plan and simple.

91: 3 extra minutes. Casey is the only player for the U.S. looking like he thinks the Americans can get the equalizer.

92: Kljestan should've never been brought on. No touch, no poise. Dani Alves skies the ball out of play.

TWEET TWEET TWEET Brazil 3, USA 2: What a disappointing end to what has been a remarkable tournament for the U.S. The Americans positively crumpled in the second half. Brazil were the deserved winners. Whatever Bradley told the team in the lockerroom -- well, it didn't work. Bringing on Kljestan was a mistake. Time to digest what just happened this past week. Lots and lots to mull over.

Man of the match was Fabiano, who is also the golden boot winner of the tournament.

Hey everyone, chin up. Thanks for joining us for our Confederations Cup coverage! Sorry the ending wasn't the Cinderella storybook we were hoping for! Now, go out and enjoy the rest of your weekend.

Read more on "Confederations Cup Final Liveblog: United States v. Brazil"...

Confederations Cup Liveblog: Brazil-South Africa

Welcome to the UF liveblog of the second Confederations Cup semifinal. I have two predictions. One: We will not surpass yesterday's comment total. Two: I will write shorter updates than LB does. Beyond that, this tournament has taught me not to make any grandiose predictions on the game itself, because I will be wrong.

I'm sure many of you are like me, still floating on a high after yesterday's US win over Spain. We have 72 more hours to enjoy it until the final kicks off. The presumption is that the Americans will face Brazil in the final, of course, but the game must be played first. And this is why we are here.

Sit back, enjoy, and complain about the vuvuzelas. It's the natural order of things.

Brazil: Julio Cesar; Maicon, Lucio, Luisao, Andre Santos; Felipe Melo, Gilberto Silva, Ramires, Kaka; Luis Fabiano, Robinho.

South Africa: Khune; Gaxa, Masilela, Mokoena, Booth; Mhlongo, Dikgacoi, Pienaar, Modise, Tshabalala; Parker.

Alright, one prediction. Brazil in a cakewalk. There is four goals worth of difference between these teams. Let's see it.
----------------------------------------------
-7.00 Ref is Busacca from Switzerland, if you care.

-6.00 Booth is tall, isn't he? Robinho smiling like he's riding the bus or getting a discount at a store.

-4.00 Is it bad that I was laughing yesterday when Iker Casillas, representing Spain, read the anti-racism thingy?

-2.00 I haven't heard a temperature update, but I'm presuming cold since Julio Cesar had two neck warmers on. Brazil's anthem short and sweet. South Africa's presumably newer.

The crowd stops blowing those damned horns long enough to give a rousing rendition of their anthem. (Unless the voices are piped in)

0.00 Kickoff. Seems to be a couple of minutes behind, unless ESPN is delaying the feed.

2.00 The first big BOOOOTH of the night. Pitch is the same as US-Egypt, and is in horrible shape.

4.00 Kaka fouls the crap out of Pienaar. Feels bad about it.

6.00 Brazil maintaining most of the early possession, but can't break through in the last twenty so far.

7.00 Dunga also cold. Looks stylish in his "High School Senior All Dressed Up" look .

9.00 Andre Santos gives the ball away and gifts SA a counter, but it comes to nothing. Andre Santos eventually the one to win the ball back. See that Deuce?

10.00 Julio Cesar doing jumping jacks to stay warm. Might be most of his action tonight.

12.00 First real shot of the game saved by Khume going to his left. Ramires with the shit from just inside the box. Maicon with the running on the right to set it up.

13.00 Quickly to the other end, Cesar has to make a dive after Andre Santos loses his man. The shot whistled wide.

15.00 A couple of times tonight, SA have had difficulty clearing the ball from their own box, instead seeing it pinball off of other players. Will such a mistake catch them out?

17.00 Brazil have a promising three on two shut down because of poor passing. Not much of an edge so far from the South American giants.

19.00 Robinho falls down after beating his man. Make no mistake, SA are packed in and it will take a special effort to beat them tonight.

21.00 Mokoena comes so very close. Lucio let him go on a free kick and Mokoena headed over from maybe three yards. Tough that. They need to make sure of the few chances they get.

23.00 SA have started to attack more, but that leaves them more open for a counter. One almost worked for Brazil there. Undeterred, SA press forward again, but it comes to nothing.

24.00 Robinho sure does love his step overs, doesn't he?

26.00 Pienaar kills a SA attack with a Landycakes type pass to no one.

28.00 SA free kick upcoming from about the same area that Mokoena headed over from earlier. Three players on top of it. Tshabalala takes it and forces a save from Cesar. Corner kick. Gets headed out by SA.

31.00 SA with the better of play. Yellow Card on Felipe Melo for flipping Gaxa. SA advantage played until Modise shoots wide. On the other end, Ramires' heavy touch in the box means he loses out on a nice look at goal.

32.00 Robinho called for offside. Correct call by a yard. Khune still saved the sit.

34.00 Andre Santos with a shot from 20. Saved well by Khune. Fabiano looked to have handled in the build up. Question: Where the F is Kaka? He's invisible.

35.00 Game getting chippy with some hard fouls. Ramires the latest to dish one out.

37.00 Brazil are getting their counters, but then holding the ball up and allowing SA to gain numbers and position. Strange.

Kaka sighting. Shot from 22 after moving in from the right misses the top corner by a yard or so.

39.00 Robinho wins a corner under the challenge of Mokoena and Booth. Poorly taken by Maicon.

40.00 Tshabalala is the most fun name to say in the tournament. Derek Rae certainly thinks so.

41.00 What is Method Man doing in the crowd?

42.00 Another Brazil counter. Kaka takes it nearly the whole way and tries to squeak it in near post on Khune. Khune gets down just in time to palm the ball on the ground.

43.00 Pienaar with a shot from 25 just gets saved by Cesar. No corner though.

45.00 Yellow card for Masilela. Took out the ankle of Andre Santos dead center on front of the goal, 25 yards out. Free kick upcoming. Who fancies it?

Brazil try tricky, but Pienaar runs it down.

Tweet tweet TWEEEET

As odd as it sounds to say, this game is rather even. Brazil seemed to get pissy at about the twenty minute mark and allowed SA into the game. South Africa obliged and got themselves some good chances. Both teams have gone close and could have scored.

The halftime talk for Brazil should be about how to get their heads back into the game and not to slow down on counter attacks. South Africa must look for more of the same effort, especially defensively.

See you in 15.

45.01 Second half begins. To be fair to Kaka from earlier, he was invisible because he wasn't being looked for. Hopefully, Brazil can rectify that in this half. I do not want extra time.

46.00 Early corner for Brazil goes to nowt.

47.00 Oh yeah, Gilberto Silva is out there too. Midfield for Brazil not used too much in the first half. Robinho shoots well over from 25+.

49.00 Kaka has the best straight arm in the business. Corner kick Brazil.
Nothing doing.

51.00 BZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

52.00 Kaka heads over off of a ball from Maicon. Wasn't convining attaking the ball.

54.00 SA working the left side and finally find Parker in with a look. Looked like his shot was deflected, but in the end was just that bad.

56.00 Maicon and Ramires work a two man game on the right. Cross in gets to Fabiano but his challenged header goes nowhere near the goal.

58.00 Modise's shot from outside the box takes a deflection off Luisao. Cesar initially went the other way and had to scramble to push the ball around the post. It was going in otherwise.

59.00 SA have taken over the game once again.

60.00 SA outshooting Brazil 11-9 at this point. Also, we hear singing instead of vuvuzelas. Nice.

61.00 Andre Santos gets a Yellow Card after taking Modise out at midfield.

62.00 Luis Fabiano gets a shot off. Was never going to beat Khune.

63.00 Robinho tries a half bike off of a giveaway. Goes wide of the post. Question-Is Jo'burg at altitude? Is that affecting Brazil? (Answers-yes;maybe)

67.00 More SA attacking. Brazil are looking to have everything covered, though.

69.00 The problem seems to be that neither team is looking to make that break-the-defense-open pass. Both teams are willing to shoot from distance at this point. It's not working.

71.00 Mhlongo gets called for a touch foul on Kaka. Sometihng indirect, so I don't know. Free kick goes for *gasp* nothing. Where are the subs?

74.00 Luisao seemed to play the man more than the ball on a cross from Tshabalala to Parker. No call though.

75.00 Brazil starting to wonder if they can play Italy again, because this sucks.

77.00 Extra time starting to look like a real possibility. Why don't Brazil sub?

78.00 Brazil have a couple of half chances, but SA defense are in the way of everything.

80.00 SA starting to look tired as well. Great.

81.00 More SA shots from 30+.

81.00 If this thing goes all the way to PKs, I want a raise. Dani Ales about to come on.

82.00 Corner kick Brazil. SUB: Alves on for Andre Santos. RB for LB. Corner kick clears everyone.

84.00 Lucio fouls Pienaar 35 yards out. Let's watch this shot miss.
Nope. Hits the onrushing wall.

86.00 Agreed gramesy.

86.00 Free kick in close for Brazil. On the left side, right outside the box. Come on, anything. It will be Alves.

GOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLL And I just cheered that there will be no extra time. Alves hits it hard to the far post and Khune was nowhere close. Slid just inside the post.

88.00 Alves Yellow Card for over celebration.

90.00 SA prepare their first sub. It's a double sub.
Fabiano blows a one on one.

Only one minute added. It's half over already.

Triple Sub: two for SA, one for Brazil. None of them will get a kick.

I was wrong, Kleberson gets a touch. Two minutes in to the one minute added on.

More subs. Last shot for SA.

FULL TIME
After a false whistle, the final whistle finally goes. Tough luck for South Africa who outplayed Brazil for long stretches of the match. There is something to be said, though, for not settling on a 30 yard shot. Brazil's winning goal come on a free kick after Brazil attacked the defense.

That's all there is to it. We'll see you on Sunday for the third place and final matches.

Read more on "Confederations Cup Liveblog: Brazil-South Africa"...

Confederations Cup Liveblog: USA v. Brazil

C'mon dude, finish your chances

Could it get much worse for the USMNT? The difficult loss to Italy was dominated by the New Jersey boy, and yet, this time, the US have no such straw man available unless we suddenly find out that Kaka was born in Kansas City.

Gut check time. Stand up and be counted. Can Bradley's Boys minus the terrier-like Ricardo Clark do enough to stifle this Brazilian attack? Can they get something against the sieve-like Selecao defense?

We could be in for a high-scoring game. I feel like if Jozy found his left foot somewhere amid his luggage, the US can score against Brazil. It's just a question of whether they can keep the scoring down in their half. To that end, the mantra is simple: don't give Kaka and friends acres of midfield space to shoot from distance.

Join us for the fun after the jump. Oh, and the vuvuzelas! We're not sick of those, right?

Preamble: Thoughts on the final score? I can't bring myself to watch the 30-minute pregame show, which will undoubtedly involve Rece Davis and Alexei Lalas using some ESPN technology to display their alarming lack of knowledge about what's going on. I also pray that Tommy Smyth has nothing to do with things today. He's like a cliche-ridden, clueless Irish vuvuzela.

Preamble: Of course, I relent and tune in. Harkes and Lalas are all over the lack of pressure in defensive midfield, and of course, they show the goals again. Not much xenophobic rage toward Rossi. Yet.

STARTING LINEUPS and BENCHES and such:
USA, USA, USA, USA (4-3-2-1 ish, maybe just a 4-3-3-): Howard - Bornstein, Demerit, Onyewu, Spector - Beasley, Kljestan, Bradley - Donovan (c), Altidore, Dempsey.
Subs: Bocanegra, Casey, Pearce, Davies, Wynne, Califf, Guzan, Adu, Torres, Feilhaber, Robles, "Clark" (he's suspended, but still listed).

THE SAMBA KINGS OF BRAZIL (4-1-2-1-2): Julio Cesar - A Santos, Miranda, Lucio (c), Maicon - Gilberto Silva - Felipe Melo, Ramires - Kaka - Robinho, Luis Fabiano.
Subs: Kleber, Elano, Victor, Daniel Alves, Luisao, Josue, Julio Baptista, Kleberson, Pato, Nilmar, Gomes, Juan.


I'll go ahead and say it; with the rather secondary string being run out by Gunga La Dunga, there's a chance of a draw here. Three new faces at the back, a midfield of mystery, although they naturally left in their three best attackers (though even that's arguable... no Pato sightings for more than 15 mins at a time?)

Preamble: There's been a bit of discussion in my brain lately about how the US can improve in international soccer, and I'm thinking they need to cut the bullshit regarding co-opting other countries' styles and try to define one of their own. After all, all nations have a style that's inherently theirs. Italy have catenaccio, Brazil have this kamikaze style, Germany have their ruthless organization, South Korea have superior conditioning to 99.99% of other teams.... USA needs one. What should it be?

It's national anthem time. We know the US one, natch... I'd never noticed before how jaunty the Brazilian ditty is. Sounds like something Sousa left behind on vacation. Or maybe a b-side from Peter and the Wolf.

I recognize this Swiss ref, Massimo Busacca, from somewhere. Champions League? Controversy? Someone do the research for me, please.

T-minus 1 minute: Jozy looks ready and primed to disappoint.

And we're off! Vuvuzela! US in all white, Brazil in Yellow and Blue. Me in shorts and an old Sonic Youth t-shirt now lightly soiled with baby puke.

2 mins: Ramirez hops inside Spector and gets impeded by Bornstein. The free-kick gets knocked into the box and Onyewu heads it out for a corner. Donovan nuts it away and Brazil foul on the loose ball in the attacking third. We get a reminder that Brazil scored three goals via the set-piece. Good to know.

@Tuffy -- you've got the right idea. I mean, how can the USMNT try all this quick passing and whatnot when they haven't nailed the basics? Coiled snake sounds good. Or maybe FDR's Big Stick thing.

4 mins: Robinho sighting! He was invisible during the Egypt match. Not that he just did anything of note. Just a quick close-up.

USMNT defending on their heels a bit. Some good passing down the right by Brazil, who have started brightly. Kaka wins a corner, but Robinho's delivery is tragically bad and US clear with ease. Still, all the action in that Yankee defensive third.

6 mins: Bradley with a foul/not-foul on Ramires, and Maicon delivers....

GOAL GOAL GOAL GOAL, and credit to the US for holding out longer than New Zealand against Spain. Maicon's delivery is whipped right into the six-yard box, Howard stays on his line, and Felipe Melo nips around the back of Spector to bang it in with his noggin. Killer start for the Selecao. Not sure how much better the US could have defended that. Spector had zero chance. USA 0, Brazil 1

JP Dellacamera tries gamely to draw parallels to the Costa Rica and Honduras games in which the US went behind early in both and battled back. Has the mightily drunk JP noticed THE US ARE PLAYING BRAZIL??

@Whizalen -- it is not the Washing Machine shirt, though I wish it was. It's one from their Dirty/E.V.O.L days... a black shirt with white "Sonic Life" written across the chest and some big glowy cross thing beneath it that looks like it was drawn by Lee Ranaldo's child. I dig it though.

@Keith -- sorry Sir... I get my Roosevelts confused. I also get all the Jackson 5 members mixed up.

11 mins: Another dangerous free-kick whipped in but US head it clear... only as far as Luis Fabiano. He gets to the touchline and cuts back for Robinho, but his shot is whiffed on. Beasley put his defense in danger there with some sloppy play. That, coupled with Bradley's fondness for fouling, and it does not bode well. I eagerly await Donovan's pithy post-game comments dragging his teammates through the mud.

Also, someone noted in the comments -- the free-kick that led directly to the goal should never have been, but them's the breaks. Ramires sold it, and Bradley looked clumsy enough.

Brazil waste their 12th corner of the game. A couple of minutes ago, Landycakes had a bit of a run down the other end before being crowded out by four Brazilians.

15 mins: Naptime efforts to subdue my son have failed, and so I have acquired a sleeping baby across my chest while I rest the laptop precariously on my lap. Kaka ghosts behind Kljestan and gets to the touchline once again, but his cutback is blocked out for a corner. Brazil waste it, staying true to form thus far in this game.

Does the USA have a midfield?

@NY Kid -- fair enough. I thought Spector totally lost Melo, not that he wasn't physical enough. I guess that's even worse though, right?

18 mins: The USMNT finally get into Brazilian territory, with all the urgency of the fellas from Swingers trying to get to that party in the Hills with that chatty redhead and the bottle of Glenfiddich. It doesn't last -- Brazil break, 3-on-3, but it breaks down at the top of the box as Robinho and Luis Fabiano suffer a communication breakdown.

Really, at this point I'd just love to see a US player put a massive challenge in on someone, just to remind Brazil that they're actually playing another team.

Uh-oh... breakaway....

GOAL GOAL GOAL GOAL, and some half-hearted attacking by the US gets 'em caught out woefully at the back, and it's DeMarcus again who's making the gaffe. He totally fluffs on receiving the short corner from Donovan. Brazil break with Ramires, and he squares inside Spector, the last man back, for Robinho, who has the easiest finish under a sprawling Howard. That's just fucking sad. USA 0, Brazil 2

23 mins: THE BRAZILIAN POTENCY HAS BROKEN THE LIVE FEED! Dellacamera and Harkes try gamely to keep things going. The US take a decent corner (not taking a short one again, I bet), but it doesn't amount to much. Brazil pour forward themselves and force Bornstein into a silly giveaway, but the US finally get it clear.


Seriously though guys, it's probably best we can't see what's going on right now? Right?

I wonder what's going on right now? Beasley has fucked up again?

WAIT! THE LIVE FEED IS BACK! NO MORE GOALS CONCEDED! It resumes like the game began, with Brazil in comfortable possession and the US just watching them knock it up down, side to side, up down side to side.

28 mins: This is just dire. Disjointed, desperate rubbish. US try to get something going with Donovan, Altidore and Dempsey, but it's easily broken up. Then Bradley gifts possession to Brazil in the midfield (deja vu, anyone?) and Luis Fabiano triggers an attack, eventually cutting outside and ending his best chance to shoot. His shanked effort took a deflection, didn't it?

We're fast approaching moral victory time. You can bet Bob Bradley is flipping through his Book of Sanitzed, Inoffensive Cliches with which to gee up the fans after 90 minutes. One wonders if he'll erupt like Bob Knight in the dressing room at half-time. Or at least have the balls to make a few lineup changes. Shit, Beasley should be shot out back and converted into glue.

@Precious Roy -- I reckon he wants the entire Everton backline. Leighton Baines, Lescott, even an ACL-crippled Jagielka. And Leon Osman in front of that lot would be nice too.

32 mins: USA win a corner! The big men amble up from the back. Decent delivery but it's nodded clear. Kljestan picks up the rebound and it's crossed in again, and headed away again. Donovan gets that rebound and finds Bradley, whose cross is also decent but is also headed clear. Then Gooch breaks up the not-too-bad passage of play by his countrymen by scything down Felipe Melo with a Barton-esque lunge and earning himself a yellow card.

35 mins: Bornstein gets stuck in and nuts Maicon in the face as they go for a header. No foul. Just good, fearless effort. Still, Brazil knock the ball around with ease. Only 52% possession for Brazil thus far? Really? What the fuck have USA done with their 48%?

A ridiculous dive by Gilberto Silva over Kljestan's leg challenge gets 'em another free-kick in US territory. They spread it wide, and when it does come back in, Robinho shoots comfortably wide of Howard's near post. The US clear, and it comes right back in the form of Luis Fabiano, who forces a decent save from Howard.

Seriously, did the US bring a midfield today? Is there anybody in there? Just nod if you can hear me... is there any midfield home?

38 mins: Maicon has a free, unimpeded run down the right and swings in a decent cross but there's nobody home. US counter with Spector cantering down the right, working hard to overlap Landycakes, but he's gassed from the sprint and turns in an abysmal daisy-cutter cross that Lucio sidefoots away from danger. Bit rubbish this.

Question of the Now: How will Bradley/Gulati/US Soccer spin this performance?

Beasley watches the ball in central midfield and fails to notice Maicon, alone on the right wing. Maicon gets it and puts in another menacing cross, but Gilberto Silva heads powerfully over the bar from 8 yards.

At this point, I'm more tolerant of the incessant vuvuzela drone than the play of the USMNT thus far. Utterly spineless. No tenacity or effort in midfield. More ball-watching than on a gay porn film set.

Brazil attack again with Maicon getting tons of work down the right, but no dice.

42 mins: Onyewu needlessly trips Robinho in the right corner despite having defensive help and the Brazilian seemingly trapped. Maicon delivers another neat cross, it flies over to the back post but whoever that was at the back volleyed it a mile over the bar. Seriously, memo to Bob Bradley: bench half these fuckers for life. I don't believe Sasha Kljestan has touched the ball yet (taking a throw-in doesn't count).

44 mins: Brazil knock it around on the right side as they begin to phone it in. Bornstein fouls someone and gives Maicon another free chance to cross. He does, but it's nodded clear in traffic. Wish some of these USMNT'ers would go and play in rush-hour traffic, so poor they have been.

One minute of stoppage time. Massimo Busacca is a merciful ref.

HALF TIME: USA 0, Brazil 2
Harkes reckons the early goals helped Brazil. No shit, Sherlock. They're probably not done scoring, either. Back in 10, when I've managed to get this sleeping baby to stay asleep in his less comfortable rocker chair contraption.

In the meantime, a poll ginned up by the NY Kid between wrist-slitting motions after his nation's dismal first-half effort.


Oh, and I can't help but point out u75's early comment about how DMB in the midfield means he'll be good. Though knowing the man, I'm assuming it was sarcasm?

Rece Davis calls it an "inauspicious start." That's perhaps the kindest possible way to say it in a way that won't get you fired and banned from doing live TV ever again.

48 mins: And I'm back, with a slight delay due to diaper-changing. US get a free-kick in Brazil territory but the Selecao clear.

Mercifully, a sub for USMNT: Beasley off (and presumably lying dead in the locker room), Conor Casey on.

The switch almost paid off; Casey found Altidore in the box, but young Jozy blasted his shot into outer space. Really should have done better. Should do better at shooting in general, considering he's a striker. Hat tricks against shit CONCACAF teams don't count.

49 mins: Better from the US. Bradley finds Bornstein out wide left, and his cross forces Julio Cesar off his line to collect. Not bad, that.

LB jr. is still lying asleep across my chest. Have I mentioned how difficult it is to breathe consistently with a 9lb child across your lungs? If I set him down, he'll scream and I'll probably miss the 3rd Brazil goal. Blogging requires maximum effort. Nothing but the best today!

51 mins: At the risk of jinxing, USMNT have learnt something at half-time and actually started pushing forward. Brazil are equal to it for now. Bradley fizzes a shot over the bar from 30 yards in an effort to match De Rossi's effort the other day. Same kinda position on the pitch.

You see a lot of shots of the turtleneck'd Dunga on the sidelines, barking instructions.. where the heck is Bradley? Shrouded in shadows and guarded by Satan's minions? Or perhaps hiding under an umbrella a la Steve McClaren?

Spector can't reach a long pass down into the right corner, and Brazil collect themselves. Donovan then fouls Robinho quickly after the restart. The US are pushing more, and will leave themselves open to the counter now that their wing-backs are galloping up and down the flanks from box to box.

As I type that, Brazil do break; Luis Fabiano lays off to Ramires in the middle, and he finds Robinho unmarked far left. The Citeh striker takes a touch and tries to bend it in top corner, but Howard's tall enough to leap and grab.

Jozy slips on a US counter as Bradley tries to play him onside over the top. Bit of a metaphor for the US efforts thus far today.

55 mins: Kljestan completes the double-play of losing the ball and then putting in a nasty foul on Ramires. Busacca waves advantage and play on, which Kaka does. He trots towards goal, creates some space and shoots, forcing a good save from Howard. Ramires is still down, and Dunga is mad as hell and is not gonna take it anymore on the sideline. On come the medics with the stretcher brigade.

Um, wow? Busacca gives Kljestan a red card for that shockingly late tackle. Bit harsh, that. But hey, cheer up, USMNT, you now have your greatest excuse should Brazil march on and score plenty more!

Which begs the question: just who is filling this US midfield for the final game?

@Steve -- thank you sir. I think I'm taking the Rossi approach and will groom him here before shoving him back to England to play for his daddy's country. Dual citizenship for the win!

Sub for the US forthcoming as Bradley takes his pre-game notes and strategy, smothers them with BBQ sauce, and devours them in seconds.

60 mins: Here comes that sub: Altidore off (booooo), Feilhaber on....... 4-4-1 time! Bradley is good at this substitution business. It's damage control time.

Brazil adopt the lion-playing-with-his-supper approach, content to bat it around laterally without much menace.

62 mins: GOAL GOAL GOAL GOAL, and we will blame that on there being just 10 Americans left. Brilliant move by Brazil, cued by Ramires who has miraculously recovered. A lovely one-two between Ramirez and Kaka frees Maicon, who's had a good game, inside the box, and he shoots high from a narrow angle and through Howard's grasp. Good. Night. Nurse. USA 0, Brazil 3

=====
BIG IMPORTANT QUESTION FOR THE COMMENTS: Where does this current incarnation rank in comparison to other major eras of US Soccer? We're talking 1950 USA, 1990 USA, 1998 USA, 2002 USA... in history, where do we put this sorry bunch?
=====

65 mins: A nice flowing move by Brazil finds Maicon unmarked out wide, but no-one is there to meet his cross but Landon Donovan. I wonder if Landy wishes he had a German passport? He's seeing the best years of his generation wasted, ruined, etc etc loosely quoting Allen Ginsberg there.

==========
IMPROMPTU COMPETITION TIME!!!!!
67 mins: Time to channel your rage productively, folks. Gimme your best angry man longform unedited rant about US Soccer in the comments, and the best one, chosen by me, a self-loathing Limey, will win a random soccer book from my sizable collection of soccer books. It's also a cynical move by me to keep you all here, because no matter how bad the USMNT does today, you are absolutely not allowed to turn it off.
==========

69 mins: The vuvuzela orchestra finds another notch above "supremely irritating" as Brazil get on some subs. Kaka and Luis Fabiano off, Julio Baptista and Nilmar on.

Possible chance for the US there, as Donovan's free-kick from wide left is whipped in menacingly, but Bradley cannot rise high enough to meet it with his forehead. Goal kick to Brazil.

72 mins: Final sub for Brazil: captain Lucio off, Luisao on.
Another Brazilian free-kick is floated right into the thick of the box, but Howard comes out to gather. Still, Brazil have possession immediately from Howard's kick.

Onyewu hoofs it long for Conor Casey to chase, but he's never reaching that. Goal kick, Selecao.

76 mins: The 75th minute comes and goes without that moral victory goal by the US that Ebullient Fatalist was predicting (see: 10.21am)

Brazil knock it about with ease. Dempsey's tried hard in midfield but has absolutely no help. As much as I loathe him, Donovan's run just about every blade of grass today too, although with little to show for it.

80 mins: Howard collects another cross/shot and throws out, cueing a bit of a run down the right with Donovan. He finds Dempsey, who gets it back to Landy wide. When the return pass comes back in, Dempsey just about keeps possession until Julio Baptista chops down Feilhaber. From the free-kick, USMNT pass it forward a bit and Feilhaber shoots into that proverbial Row ZZ from 35 yards. Dour.

83 mins: ALMOST THAT MORAL VICTORY GOAL! Spector's been pretty good today, and he overlaps Donovan on the right and the pair of them start something; Spector megs his marker to find Donovan at the touchline, he cuts it back for Spector who finds Feilhaber at the top of the box, but Benny's shot whizzes against the underside of the bar and somehow stays out (though it coulda been in, we have no clue and no-one contested the call). Then Brazil, in a cruel twist, counter with a 2-on-1 and almost score a fourth via Julio Baptista, but his final touch lets him down and Howard falls on it.

You have to think Bradley will name a completely different XI for the final group game, just to try some things out, right? Or will he stick with his preferred lineup in the hopes they can claw a meaningless draw with the Egyptians?

87 mins: Dear God, just end this already.

Dempsey wins a free-kick as he knocks it past Luisao and gets barged down. Think Donovan is taking it? What difference does it make?

89 mins: COULD HAVE BEEN 3-2 IF THE FIRST ONE COUNTED! Donovan's delivery is nice, and Conor Casey ploughs a header off the crossbar. Bradley looks upset on the sideline, the first time I remember him being off his feet and on camera all game long. Now he has three things -- the two crossbar shots and the dubious red card -- to use in an attempt to save his job after the game.

LB Jr is waking up, and I'm glad he stayed asleep for this entire game. His tiny, impressionable mind should not have been subjected to this horror show.

90 mins + 2: Brazil have a free kick front and center some 20 yards out, and they spend an eternity lining it up. Can this be the last action of the match? Julio Baptista winds up and boots it a mile high and wide. He's rubbish.

Bradley then blasts one over the bar. BLOW THE WHISTLE.

FULL TIME: USA 0, Brazil 3
Thank the gods that is over. My internet crapped out for a minute there, and LB jr finally woke up, but shit... an awful morning's footy if you are a US Soccer fan. I can guess that most of you who were pre-game aren't now.

The US needs a complete overhaul. Like Norwich. Like Newcastle. Rebuild this shit from the ground up. Dead weight needs to be cleaned out.

Not sure if we're liveblogging this afternoon, or who is doing it, but I'm hoping we do. In the meantime, go enjoy a liquid lunch. Hearing Bob Bradley being interviewed makes me wish I had a gun that would reach from my couch to that pitch.

Thanks for playing along, folks! You were all excellent. I was hoping for some rants though. That wonderful soccer book is getting returned to the bookshelf until our next impromptu commenter competition!

Read more on "Confederations Cup Liveblog: USA v. Brazil"...

Confederations Cup Liveblog: Brazil v. Egypt

Yeah, I was watching old movies yesterday

On paper, you'd think you'd be able to guess the final score simply by looking at the countries involved, but this is the Confederations Cup, a largely meaningless tournament that serves only to clog up the summer vacation plans of some of the world's greatest players.

The Egyptians don't care, but will Robinho and co. emerge with a chip on their shoulder at losing precious nightclub trips, or will they settle under Dunga's watchful/boring eye and score at will?

I'm not actually prepared to call a result one way or another as I think there could be room for an upset, but I will liveblog the shit out of it as we go.

Fair compromise?


9.45am: I'm sitting with a large plate full of leftover lasagna, a glass of port, and a wicked inclination to shun liveblogging in favor of watching The Conversation. Whatever happened to Gene Hackman, anyways? He had a great run back in the day. You've got The French Connection, Scarecrow with a young, insane Al Pacino, I Never Sang for My Father, Hoosiers... is it true he hasn't done a movie since 2004? Insane, I tell you.

Popeye Doyle can wait, as we have the Confederations Cup.

9.51am: He retired? How did I miss that? Oh well... back to the task at hand.

We have squads!

Also, is no-one else covering this tournament? No liveblogs at the BBC, and the Guardian doesn't even have it listed in its "Live Scores and Fixtures" section. That said, we Brits are like that; if we didn't qualify, it doesn't exist.

9.55am:
BRAZIL STARTING LINEUP
---
Julio Cesar - Dani Alves, Lucio (c), Juan, Kleber - Elano, Gilberto Silva, Felipe Melo - Kaka - Robinho - Luis Fabiano
BENCH: Maicon, Victor, Luisao, Miranda, A Santos, Ramires, J Baptista, Kleberson, Pato, Nilmar, Gomes, Josue.

EGYPT STARTING LINEUPS
---
El Hadary - Hani Said - A Fathi, Moawad, Ahmed Said, Wael Gomaa - Hosni, Shawky, Hassan (c), Abo Terika - Zidan
BENCH: Fathalla, Elmohamedi, Khairi, Eid, Homos, Tawfik, Farag, Wahid, Abdelghani, Abo Grisha, Raouf, Sobhi.

1 min: Brazil try to get forward early, but Wael Gomaa wasn't gonna let Luis Fabiano get on the end of Dani Alves' long pass forward.

Also, a Howard Webb sighting! Look for controversial penalties galore!

4 mins: Patchy beginnings as the Selecao look to settle. Kaka fouled Fathi early.

5 mins: GOAL GOAL GOAL GOAL... and those vuvuzelas continue to bore a hole in my brain. Lovely, composed finish from Kaka after Alves floated the ball into the middle for Real's new superstar. He touched it past two defenders who weren't very interested in defending, and then sidefooted it under El Hadary for a simple goal. Brazil 1, Egypt 0

Just the start Dunga will have wanted. The passing from Brazil is as casual as it would be if it were on the training pitch thus far.

8 mins: Better from Egypt.... GOAL GOAL GOAL GOAL, and Brazil show why they suck at defending. Abo Terika was freed down the right wing (where the fuck was Felipe Melo tracking back), his cross was gorgeous right across the six-yard box, and Mohamed Zidan rises from the Bloemfontein soil to bury the ball past Julio Cesar. Lucio appeared glued to the turf. Lovely finish, and game on. Brazil 1, Egypt 1

11 mins: GOAL GOAL GOAL GOAL, and I picked the right game to liveblog. Elano has a free-kick from 40-odd yards out wide on the right, he drills a decent ball into the crowded penalty area, and Luis Fabiano does phenomenally well to leap and guide the ball into the bottom left-hand corner. The goalie almost got a finger on it, but it was Gomaa's fault in letting his man get behind him. Brazil 2, Egypt 1

This was definitely worth getting up for. If you're looking for something to do with that misplaced energy of yours, get on Twitter and help #banvuvuzelas become a trending topic. Those things need to be burned at the cross.

13 mins: Gomaa does his job this time, blocking out Fabiano from reaching the left-wing cross.

Are those the dulcet tones of Robbie Mustoe I hear in the commentary box? It is some wonderful irony that one of the game's most boring, uncharismatic players is getting to describe a Brazil match to the masses. He appears to be awed by the flair on display.

17 mins: Felipe Melo, the "young" guy from Fiorentina, does well down the left to get his cross blocked out for a throw-in.

18 mins: I wish The Big Lead would stop pretending on Twitter like they give a damn about the Confederations Cup. Is that you, Ty Duffy? Are you penning those insightful missives?

Egypt knock it around in the middle of the park, biding their time for an equalizer. Based on the utter nonchalance for the Selecao at the back, there will be chances.

As I write it, Abo Terika switches wings to the right and skips to the touchline, winning a corner as Elano blocks it out for a corner. They waste it, and Brazil counter with Kaka who jogs all the way into the Egyptian area before losing possession himself. It was Boro man Mo Shawky who tracked back to aid his beleaguered defense.

21 mins: Of course, while we're all enjoying some live footy with our Corn Flakes, you're all thinking ahead to USA-Italy. Bigus Dickus will be liveblogging that one having returned from a brief trip back to Blighty. Thoughts on that one? USA really has no chance, do they?

23 mins: Brazil knock it about at the back in an Arsenal-esque fashion. Tons of room in the midfield for sideways passing, too. Egypt cough up a corner as Hani Said toe-pokes the ball off Robinho's foot, and then Juan should really have scored from the set piece; Elano's outswinger found him unmarked as Said went for a smoke break behind the goal, but he guided his header over the bar and into the throng of photographers behind the awning. Good chance wasted there.

Meanwhile, Howard Webb watches Kaka get manhandled by Fathi and awards a tasty free-kick on the edge of the box. All 11 Brazilian players line up to take it...

25 mins: I kid of course, but Elano's number is called and he bangs it right into El Hadary's arms.

Is the Egypt team nickname really The Pharaohs? Wouldn't that be a little derogatory? I mean, so many other things have come from Egypt beyond just Tutankamun. Or am I being too sensitive?

Good-ish chance for Egypt! Zidan has space at the top of the box, and his diagonal ball for Abo Terika juuuuust misses his forward run. Worth repeating: Brazil are rubbish at the back.

29 mins: The style is on display. I think I saw a backheel! Some nice interplay in the middle breaks down when Robinho gives the ball away at the top of the box.

30 mins: Fathi shows why right backs shouldn't be allowed to shoot very often, as his lazy run down the flank culminates in a rubbish daisy-cutter that ends up a mile wide. His teammate Hassan then emulates that with a soft low shot from 20+ yards that Julio Cesar collapses upon.

32 mins: What Would Amr Zaki do?

33 mins: Abo Terika, take a knee. Your twisty-turny dance in the box just cost you a scoring chance. Lucio was the only man back to defend after a speculative ball forward that the Egyptian was able to chase and collect, but instead of shooting, he kept stepping over until help in yellow and green arrived. Silly, really. Shoot first time! Still, the pair up-front in red/white are proving to be quite a handful. Which is more than can be said for Robinho, who is rather quiet thus far.

35 mins: Finally eating that lasagna I talked about earlier. Luis Fabiano tries to elude Gomaa on a run into the box, but the Brazilian throws too much weight into it and Webb whistles for a foul. Nevermind, as he was playing advantage for Hassan's late lunge on Kaka. Free-kick to Brazil, 30-odd yards out just to the right of goal. Dani Alves to take...

... and a brilliant save by El Hadari! Alves goes for goal, and it swerves and dips out of the South African sky, forcing a diving tip over the bar. Corner to Brazil...

37 mins: GOAL GOAL GOAL GOAL, and if you thought Egypt were the Brazil of North Africa, you'd be mistaken. Based on the way they defend set pieces, they're more like Newcastle on the Nile.

Elano's corner is swung right into the danger area yet again (he's good with a dead ball, you know), and with the help of awful defending by Hosni, Juan gets to the ball first and powers his header through El Hadari's hands. Dunga's lot don't really deserve a two-goal lead, but you take what you can get. Brazil 3, Egypt 1

41 mins: If you had Egyptian captain Hassan in the "Who Will Hit One Into Row ZZ" Sweepstakes, come down to collect your prize. He steps forward from 25 yards and sends the ball higher and higher, baby... it's a living thing (synths)

42 mins: Note to Egypt: get the ball to Abo Terika more. He's your best hope, realistically. Does well in switching flanks and trying to get round the back of the Brazilian backline... plus he's the only one who can get the ball to Zidan.

44 mins: We're in that pre-halftime lull, no doubt inspired by the drunken bumblebee sound of those fucking vuvuzelas. Surely of all the concerns about WC 2010 in South Africa, those blasted plastic noisemakers are top of the list. Seriously.

One minute of stoppage time forthcoming. Egypt decide to use it to knock the ball around dangerously at the back under pressure.

45 mins + 1: So close! Hassan and Moawad link up well on the left, and once Moawad gets round the back, his cross is perfect for Hosni, who blazes a header just over the bar.

And that'll do it.

HALF TIME: Brazil 3, Egypt 1
Rece Davis and Lalas in the ESPN studio? No thanks -- off to finish this lasagna and refuel the port wine glass before the 2nd half. All joking aside, a good first half. The Selecao look comfortable, but they're leaving the door open for their opponents to come at them. That Brazilian backline is not very good.

Back! Sorry for the delay -- my son (2 weeks old on Wednesday) woke up and decided he was hungry.

50 mins: A Said committed a foul on someone, but the free kick was wasted.

Sub time for Egypt, and it's not who you'd expect: captain Ahmed Hassan is off, replaced by Ahmed Eid.

52 mins: If Egypt want to make a game of it, they need to start pouring players forward. Their attack is too piecemeal at the moment. Fathi gets wide down the right and tries to cross, but the backline holds. Eid then demonstrates his eagerness to the cause, dribbling into traffic at the edge of the box and losing the ball for a goal kick. Fine work, sub.

54 mins: GOAL GOAL GOAL GOAL, and clearly the Egyptian manager is reading my liveblog. They surge forward with four or five in support of Abo Terika's initial run down the left. He steps inside and squares for Mo Shawky (Boro's finest!) and he drills it low under Julio Cesar from the edge of the box. Brazil 3, Egypt 2

And then...

GOAL GOAL GOAL GOAL, and Egypt complete the comeback. The Brazilian defense opened wide, inviting Mohammed Zidan to beat the offside trap and finish emphatically under Cesar. Terrible, awful, ghastly defending, but wonderful attacking power by the red/whites. Dunga is apoplectic on the sideline, the veins in his neck bulging through his turtleneck sweater and suede jacket. Poor man. You need to find players who can defend worth a toss. This is reminding me of what might happen at the Bernabeu next season... Brazil 3, Egypt 3

PS. I told you in the preamble that this had upset potential!

58 mins: Brazil try to counter, but Kaka's cross-field run takes him away from goal and Hani Said is there to mop up his attempted backheel pass to Robinho. Then Juan gives up a needless corner. Abo Terika to take. It's short, and Gilberto Silva is there to knock it away.

60 mins: Kaka attempts to score #4 all by himself, receiving the ball back from Robinho around halfway and then sprinting at the Egyptian defense full-on, but of course he's not that good, and Hani Said survives to defend another day.

The game has woken up suddenly; that's what two goals in 45 seconds will do.

Luis Fabiano wins a corner off Gomaa, and I reckon Brazil will score again. Egypt are rubbish at defending corners... Dunga prepares a sub, and Elano gallops over to take the dead ball...

... Almost! The ball missed everyone and dropped to Lucio at the back post, but he couldn't control it with his left foot and the ball is cleared. Egypt look to counter, as Zidan finds Moawad wide left.

62 mins: Eid chops down Robinho, who's been absolutely rubbish thus far, and Precious Roy lust object Pato prepares to come on.

SUBS FOR BRAZIL: Ramires and Pato on, the Citeh pair Elano and Robinho off. One of them played well and took several good corners, the other just kinda jogged around a bit.

Wake up, commenters! This game is a thriller now. Both teams attacking and obviously not content with a point from this one.

65 mins: Hey look -- 65 minutes in and no Bangles references from ANYONE.

Fathi floats in a nice cross to the back post, but Shawky can't leap high enough under pressure from Dani Alves to get on the end of it. As Robbie Mustoe correctly asserts, Egypt are finding tons of room in the midfield. Gilberto Silva is invisible.

Seconds later, Alves puts a lovely ball to the back post, and Luis Fabiano, in front of his marker Gomaa, puts nary a touch on it. Goal kick Egypt. There are more goals in this one. I can feel it.

Dunga, perhaps unaware he's already used two subs, warms up four more subs on the sideline. Is gamesmanship really that necessary in the Confederations Cup that he needs to confuse the Egyptian coach as to his final sub choice?

68 mins: Pato sighting! He chases down the loose ball on the right wing, turns, cuts all the way back inside, runs across goal towards the left wing, marked the entire time by several red shirts, and shoots into Hani Said's legs. Well played, Duck.

No further tweets from The Big Lead? Did Ty Duffy fall asleep in his soup?

70 mins: Alves' production is rather good right now, but his teammates continue to waste it. It's Pato's turn, getting a head on another right-wing cross but drifting it over the bar. The midfield is wide open at the moment.

72 mins: Calling it right now: the USA/Italy game will not even come close to this level of excitement and tension.

Abo Terika gets by Dani Alves, but the right-back recovers and puts in his requisite 10-seconds-of-defending-per-game to snuff out the danger.

73 mins: Coulda been something! The first opportunity for a contentious decision today ends rather inanely, as Zidan is correctly flagged for a marginal offside and is robbed of his hat-trick. I mean, you know Julio Cesar wasn't saving that. Of the 5 or so shots on goal today, 3 of 'em went in.

CORRECTION: Egypt have had 4 shots on goal, scoring from 3. Nice conversion rate, that.

Sub for Egypt: Hosni off, Al Muhamadi on. Not sure what position #3 plays, but he's on to do a job in the final 15 minutes.

77 mins: Close for Brazil! Pato feeds Kaka on the edge of the box, and the #10 chests it down onto his right foot, volleying it narrowly over the bar with El Hadary beaten.

Another great chance for Brazil! Ramires runs right up the middle, taking advantage of some shaky defending by Hani Said to get on the end of a throughball. Said does just enough to get back and impede the sub's run, and then Ramires follows through with a boot into El Hadary's nuts that Webb whistles up for a foul.

Best goal of today THUS FAR: Shawky's. Fo' shaw'.

81 mins: Eid jinks inside from the right and fires a good low shot, but Julio Cesar is equal to it.

Lucio cuts out a low cross for an Egypt corner. Abo Terika puts it too far out and the chance is gone. From the clearance, Fathi pops up on the left wing and cuts in. His shot screeeeeeams over the bar with Julio Cesar at full stretch.

Final sub for Brazil: Andre Santos on, Kleber off... the sub wins his 1st cap for the national team. Good for him. Shame his team is bottling it right now.

85 mins: Luis Fabiano hopes that no-one sees him handle the ball to control it... but nothing gets past Howard Webb!

So close again for Brazil! Kaka gets through the middle and seems certain to seal the deal, were it not for a brilliant sliding tackle by Said to deny him with the goal at his mercy. Lovely last-ditch defending. Carragher-esque in its desperation and execution.

88 mins: Dani Alves ghosts past Moawad on the right flank, getting an ankle tackle for his efforts. Moawad goes in the book, and Alves has a free-kick wide right. Perfect for him...

... CONTENTIOUS DECISION ALERT! And the Selecao swarm around Howard Webb like Chelsea in the Champions League. Alves' free-kick floats to the back post, Lucio volleys for goal, and Elmohamedi handles it on the line to stop it going in. ElMohamedi is sent off, and Kaka readies to take the penalty...

... GOAL GOAL GOAL GOAL, as Kaka coolly slots the penalty under El Hadary's dive to the right. Goalie guessed correctly but it was perfectly placed. Full credit to the Selecao for keeping the pressure on late as Egypt appeared happy with the draw. Brazil 4, Egypt 3

Four Minutes of Stoppage Time to come! Will there be more drama?

And yes, as you are noting in the comments, Webb got it right. Elmohamedi didn't do a good job of hiding his crime on the line.

90 mins + 3: Not much happening in the added time, until Eid cuts in again from the right and fires on goal. Cesar spilled it, but no Egyptian players there to take advantage.

FULL TIME: Brazil 4, Egypt 3
Based on how the two sides played the final half-hour, this result was deserved. Brazil showed more attacking prowess in the dying embers of the game, and rightly got their reward. An excellent game, and a lot for the US and Azzurri to live up to this afternoon. Come back for Bigus and that one!

Read more on "Confederations Cup Liveblog: Brazil v. Egypt"...