Friday Backpasses: He would love it

What to read while all of our stories get recycled and claimed by others. (Every single one of those words could be considered NSFW, alright?)

Shearer wants to make sure no Scots sully his new team [Daily Mail]
Trezegoal shows Barry Ferguson that all inappropriate hand gestures are not career-ending [The Offside]
Valencia found some money to pay people With. For now [Fox Soccer]

Podolski put a few bob into a fair play fund for slapping Ballack. Can I give the same percentage of my yearly take to do the same? [Fox Soccer]
Wayne Rooney does his best Keegan-style jinx on Man U's title hopes [The Sun]
Becks' tats show how insecure he is [Telegraph]

Finally:
Hat tricks so far in World Cup qualifying [The Best Eleven]