UF Quick Throw: British Team "A Must!"

The new British Olympic boss, Andy Hunt, has called the formation of men's and women's British teams 'a must' for the Olympics in 2012. There has been a lot of opposition to the proposal from the Football Associations of Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland. Scotland especially, but Hunt is determined to bring the four country's together for the one off event.

"The national football associations need to come together to resolve this matter for the British people." - Olympic Head Honcho Andy Hunt.

I had my say on the matter a while back!

-Bigus

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Guhreat Buhritin? Get tae Fook.

A Great British team for the Olympics in 2012? Novel idea. But the paranoid Scots, including former national team boss Craig Brown, think this idea is some crafty ploy by FIFA to cut down on the number of European teams as part of some grand scheme to destroy Scottish football.

I think Mr Brown and his compatriots are just worried that none of his countrymen will make the team. He is right there, but he shouldn't worry about his national side being dissolved. If he thinks for one second that English fans will allow a Great Britain team to become a long-term fixture, killing 136 years of national pride, he is more delusional than George W. Bush.

"I don't trust FIFA." That's the message coming from Craig Brown and the Scottish FA, backed by Scottish National Party member Christine Grahame and first minister Alex Salmond. Apparently Sepp Blatter is out to destroy the Scottish national team because of the influx of countries now competing since the break-up of the Soviet Union and Yugoslavia. Blatter also wants to slaughter their first-born, rape their women and steal the recipe for haggis.

I have not heard such a load of nonsense since Colin Powell stood up in Washington with some 15 year-old pictures of a building site in Iraq and claimed it housed weapons of mass destruction.

Let's debunk the fears of the Scots and put a few things straight, shall we?

FIFA are trying to create a GB team and destroy the Scottish national team!

What a load of tosh. And even if such an outlandish claim were to be true, do the Scots really believe that the English FA and the proud fans of England would allow such a thing? Seriously. You drive through any town or City in England during a major competition and you are confronted with one flag bearing the cross of St. George after another. Row upon row of acknowledgment for 136 years of history in the World of football including a World Cup win. Not a single Union Jack will be seen.

English people are extremely proud of the national team and what it represents, whether or not the team underachieves with it's guarantee to lose on penalties every two years. Are Scottish people the only people proud of their country? You wouldn't find the Welsh interested in a merger either.

The truth of the matter is that historically the Olympics has always had 'Great British' athletes and not Scottish, Welsh, English or Northern Irish ones. It's the way it is. If Scotland does not want to participate in a Great British soccer team for the Olympics in 2012 then neither should Scotland's runners, swimmers, weight-lifters or any other athlete from the many sports that make up the Olympiad.

But no... the Great Britain team for Beijing featured 31 Scottish athletes and who was at the forefront of celebrating their efforts for Great Britain? One Mr Alex Salmond, the first minister for Scotland. The same man opposing a Great British football team for 2012. What a hypocrite.

"The dedication, drive and determination each of our Olympians has shown is inspirational. Their efforts will not only provide encouragement to other athletes but also inspire many ordinary men and women to take up a sport and make healthier, positive changes to their lifestyle." -Alex Salmond.

Just not football, eh Mr Salmond?

Maybe Liz McColgan would like to give back all of her medals? What about David Wilkie, shall we wipe out his achievements too, Scotland?

Giving them back folks? I thought not. This year's Scottish/Great British medal winners.

It seems as if young Scottish athletes are not only proud to be part of Team Great Britain, but encouraged too, so why the objections over a Great British Soccer team? What's the real reason behind all this?

Well it's just a theory but I can't name one Scottish player that would make the team. Can you? So the Scottish fear embarrassment in the form of a Great British soccer team without any Scots. That's more like it isn't it Scotland? They can make a fuss and make a stink if they wish, we can all see the transparency of this hypocritical farce of a campaign.

Should a Great British team compete in the Olympics in 2012 it is highly likely that the team will have a Scottish manager. Now there is something to be proud of Scotland.

I think there is just one thing left to say. There is absolutely no chance of a long-term GB team outside of the Olympics. So Scotland, you can sleep at ease tonight, your FIFA World ranking of 33rd is very safe.

-Bigus.

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Hey look, Rory Delap can throw stuff

Delap, sans ball

In World War 2, he'd have been the lad with the grenades. He was born too late for that, but even so, Rory Delap's superhuman ability to throw round objects has caught the attention of the Irish Pointy Stick Throwing Association back home, and they've got big plans for Delap in 2012.

They're eyeing up Olympic gold with the javelin, and who better to use than Stoke's bearded chucker?


I can't quite believe that it's true, but the Daily Star (think three steps below the Daily Mail for journalistic integrity) says it is, and they've got the quotes to prove it:

Mary Coghlan, head of Athletics Ireland, said: We don’t have any javelin throwers competing at the World Championships next year so of course we would welcome him. To reach the acquired standard would be extremely difficult but nothing is impossible. Certainly, if he wanted to try and throw the javelin for Ireland we would be more than delighted to have him."

So there you have it: Delap for 2012. It'd be a wonderful story, rivaling those legends like the Togolese medalist in canoeing and of course, the Jamaican bobsled team.

Athletics Ireland hopes to get Delap to sit down with Irish javelin "legend" Terry McHugh (of course I would never mock him to his face considering his prowess with a javelin) to talk strategy and see if there might be any interest.

Watch the vid of Delap's long-throw magic in action, and ask yourself: could he really do for a pointy stick what he's done for a leather-stitched ball?

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Big thoughts based on a tournament no one takes seriously

I don't mean to add to an overflowing fountain of hyperbole, but when a world soccer power actually performs at or above expectations in a big tournament, praise is usually warranted. If we can mercilessly make fun of the disappointments (England, England, England), we should be able to front run with the winners, right? Argentina won its second straight gold medal in the Olympic soccer tournament over the weekend, beating Nigeria 1-0 on a goal by Angel Di Maria (the man who more or less made Freddy Adu expendable at Benfica). The game was played in stifling midday heat, and was not terribly captivating to the drunken bar patrons I was sitting next to at 2am. The Albiceleste arguably made a much bigger statement earlier last week, reducing Brazil to joga feo and shocking the Dutch in extra time thanks to a great through ball from Lionel Messi. At this point, they ought to be favorites to win the World Cup in 22 months (!) time.

You could pretty much swap the Olympic squad for the current senior team and not miss much. Of the overage players Argentina brought to the tournament, the temperamental genius Juan Roman Riquelme and Javier Mascherano would certainly keep their places, but most of the U-23s already start for the senior nationals. Messi, of course, is the chief attacking threat, but Di Maria, Kun Aguero, Gago, and Banega all offer substantial presence going forward. Of the offensive-minded senior team players not at the Olympics, only Carlos Tevez is assured of not losing his place to the new generation (and of course he is only 24).

Its different at the back, where the current first choice backline, anchored by Burdisso, Zanetti, and Heinze, probably doesn't include any of the U-23s. Zanetti is 35 though, and he will most likely not be starting come South Africa. Abbadonziari doesn't exactly inspire confidence in goal, either, but at 36 perhaps he can mentor his Getafe teammate Ustari.

In any case, Sergio Batista has to be a hot commodity in Argentine managerial circles right now. Should senior team manager Alfio Basile be looking over his shoulder? There are rumblings that Diego Simeone is unsettled at River Plate, Batista's former club (River lost at the weekend). Perhaps Los Millionarios will make a move for the newly hot commodity.

At this point, Argentina certainly look like the better bet for glory in 2010 than their arch rivals, who are currently in shambles. While Brazil beat the Albiceleste 3-0 in the Copa America final last year, it was due to Dunga's use of two defensive midfielders who were able to shut down Riquelme. Needless to say, the Brazilian press is not happy with the dour, Sven-esque tactics that have been used of late. According to the LA Times, even the President is pissed off:

Witnesses told O Globo that Lula, in a closed-door meeting, labeled the Olympic defeat a "humiliation,'' and was fuming.

"I've never been so angry in all my life,'' Lula, a devoted soccer fan, reportedly said. "I saw a team that didn't show any will to win. … It's shameful to lose this way to Argentina.''

The front page of O Globo's sports section was designed as a funeral notice, announcing the "passing'' of the national soccer squad, (five-time World Cup champion), saying, "Please do not send flowers.''

First step for Brazil is to get Ronaldinho off the burgers. Then stop playing defensively when they can throw out Pato, Robinho, and Kaka in attack. Also fire Dunga. In any case, Argentina have put themselves up there with Spain as co favorites for South Africa. Olympic success doesn't usually translate at World Cups (Gold medals in the last twenty years: USSR, Spain, Nigeria, Cameroon, ArgieX2). Here's hoping that this summer's tournaments are a portend of things to come and teams like Argentina and Spain are in the final in two years time, instead of boring, defensive shitboxes like Germany and Italy.

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Probably Want to Hire Some Smarter Copy Editors

Uh, how the fuck did, Cambodia (see above) make the Olympic soccer tournament, much less make it out of the group stage and into the quarters?

Oh right. They didn't. In fact, Cambodia totally sucks at football, currently holding down spot number 183 (out of 207) in the FIFA rankings.

Clearly this is a mistake as Brazil was matched up against Cameroon, an entirely different country on an entirely different continent, in the quarterfinals of the Olympic soccer tournament.

My initial reaction was that somebody working at wherever Comcast buys this service from (TV Guide?) is really fucking stupid and when they saw the country abbreviation on an information sheet someplace reading 'CAM' they assumed it was for 'Cambodia.'

But then I thought that, given how fucking stupid Americans are when it comes to geography in particular, whoever had the job writing this copy probably didn't even know there was a country called Cambodia. Instead they saw 'CAM' and checked it against an alphabetical list of countries. When they came to 'Cambodia' they simply stopped and didn't bother to look at the next item on the list.

That's plausible except for the fact that the abbreviation for Cameroon is 'CMR' not 'CAM.'

And you'd have to be phenomenally stupid to get from CMR to Cambodia, because, while Cambodia actually does have an Olympic delegation in Beijing, they don't have an 'R' in the name of their country.

America, trying to live up to every stereotype about it.

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Shanghai Surprise

Well this is likely to get messy.

Sorry, couldn't resist.

But perhaps the ruling earlier in the week by the Court of Arbitration for Sport that clubs did not have to release players for the Olympics wasn't translated into Spanish as the one of the key figures in the row, Lionel Messi, was on the pitch for the Albicelete's Olympic opener against the Ivory Coast.

Barcelona wanted Messi in club colors as they have a Champions League qualifier that overlaps with the Olympic schedule, while Messi wanted to play in the Olympics to fulfill a boyhood dream of winning a gold medal.

Thing is this wasn't a sneak attach as Argentine coach Sergio Batista said that, even after the CAS ruling, Messi would play.

Good thing for the Albiceleste as Messi netted the first goal then, late in the second half, did all the hard work that led to the Argies 86th minute match winner. Messi got loose deep on the left side and let fly with a howler. The Ivorian keeper was able to get a hand on the ball, but it deflected right in front where Acosta poked it into an open goal: 2-1 Argentina.

Update: Apparently, Barca is totally cool with Messi playing, meaning that ultimately this story boils down to: "Soccer player plays soccer." Awesome.

Hey, sometimes this shit happens while we're asleep. We'll take credit just for finding soccer on TV at 7 am on a Thursday.

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Beijing Balls

We don't want to ruin this for those of you planning to watch on tape delay, so here are some non-spoiler nuggets from this morning's USA v. Japan Olympic opener...


Why it's important to have good wing play...

-The entire game was played in a haze not unlike after halftime at the Super Bowl, when the remnants of the firework show cloud the field.

-Japan has players named Honda (2) AND Toyoda

-The Hemingway of Modern Football, Brad Guzan, must have trashed his memo on "The Olympic Spirit."

-If you weren't 100 percent certain, I did some heavy-duty research and found that Beijing is 12 hours ahead of us. Now you know.

-With the competition heating up in the following matches (Holls next), this match against a middling Japan team was a definite must-win for Jozy and the Lads.

-Balboa and Dellacamera are about what you'd expect with the announcing. Not horrendous, but really, if I need this much explanation about the very basics of what I'm watching (football), then I'm probably not watching in the first place.

-Italy and Brazil won their openers.

U.S. results after the jump...


The USMNT beat their Japanese counterparts 1-0 on a goal from Stuart Holden in the 47th minute. Japan keeper Shusaku Nishikawa got a finger to the ball, taken off a clear cross from Marvell Wynne, but there was enough mustard on the shot and it trickled on past the line.

That's about all. Guzan picked up a yellow for wasting time toward the end. Freddy Adu and Michael Bradley were also booked. Jozy (for McBride), Feilhaber (for Hero Holden), and Szetela (for Robbie Rodgers) all got into the game after the 74th minute. We'll follow up on what the guys thought of the weather once the post game pressers are done. Until then...

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Barca doesn't care for the Olympics

The men's Olympic soccer tournament, comprised mostly of U-23s with a few overage players, kicks off tomorrow (today? Monday? time zones confuse me), and Argentina are the hot favorites. The roster for the Albiceleste includes such notables as Javier Mascherano, Ever Banega, Fernando Gago, Juan Roman Riquelme, Sergio Aguero, and Lionel Messi. Trouble is, Messi is made of glass and Barca doesn't want him to play in the tournament, and the club just won a court case backing its stance.

FIFA and Sepp Blatter had required clubs to release any eligible U-23s for the tournament, but the Court of Arbitration in Sport ruled against their Swiss bureaucratic colleagues. According to the BBC:

The court ruled there was "no specific decision of the Fifa executive committee establishing the obligation for the clubs to release players under 23 for this tournament."

A statement added: "Cas calls upon the goodwill and the good sense of Fifa and the clubs to find a reasonable solution with regard to players who wish to represent their country in the Olympic Games."

Of course, FIFA's windbag in chief was not pleased by the decision.

In response to the decision by Cas, Fifa president Sepp Blatter said: "Fifa is surprised and disappointed by this decision, but we respect it.

"Nevertheless, I appeal to the clubs. Let your players take part in the Olympic Games. It would be an act of solidarity in perfect harmony with the Olympic spirit.

"It would be wonderful for the players, for the fans and for the game itself. I regret that the Cas has not taken the Olympic spirit into consideration."

First of all, I'm shocked that Sepp would actually stand up and defend an event that doesn't line his (or FIFA's) pockets. Blatter has always tried to keep the Olympic tournament small-time so as not to take any glory from the World Cup. For his part, after the ruling Messi told his coach that he wants to stay in Beijing and compete in the tournament. I'm not sure how he is going to do that if Barca won't let him. I imagine its like when I tell my boss I'm planning on going on vacation for three weeks instead of working during a big deadline. For some reason he always makes me cancel my plans. Ogre! Expect Messi transfer rumors to begin leaking out by next week.

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