Amr Zaki Cares Not for Your Rules

Every season, a few players come out of nowhere (or, in this case, Egypt) and become the "Hot New Thing." This year it's Amr Zaki, the on-loan striker who has made a splash at Wigan. But Zaki hasn't scored a goal since December and seems destined to ply his trade for the highest bidder this summer.

And maybe Zaki has been reading his own press clippings lately. How else could you explain the fact that he returned late from international duty for the fourth time this season. To be fair, this time Zaki came with a doctor's note -- from the Egyptian physios, that wasn't backed up with the requisite scans. And, it appears that Zaki still has not turned up at Wigan.

Zaki is set to be fined two weeks' wages and, more hilariously, Steve Bruce unleashed the following diatribe on Wigan's official website:

"I really am at the end of my tether with him. Before this latest incident, Zaki had already been fined considerably more than the average person in Britain earns in a year and he will now face another heavy fine."

"I just feel it's time that we went public on just what a nightmare he has been to deal with because I can honestly say that in all my time in football I have never worked with someone as unprofessional.

"This is the fourth time he has not reported back on time from international training.

"I have already fined him the maximum allowed but this just seems to have no effect. I am now fearful that if I don't take firm action, it will disrupt the rest of my squad, who - to a man - behave totally professionally.

"I am right behind my players representing their countries, it is a tremendous honour for the club. This is not the issue here.

"But my South American players, for instance, have to go much longer distances but I have never had a problem with any of them.

"In Zaki's case, it really defies belief from a player who is on loan and trying to earn himself a long-term contract."

Bruce added that he feels personally let down after the effort that he made to clinch his signature in the first place, and for the way the club has behaved towards him.

"When his daughter was ill before Christmas, I gave him extra time off, while I know my staff have worked very hard to help him settle in England.

"I'm sick of answering questions about Zaki's whereabouts and I don't want anything to distract the players from preparing for another massive game for us on Sunday against Everton.

"Zaki's behaviour has shown total disrespect to the club who pays him a very good wage and equally as importantly, to the fans who sing his name from the stands. I think it's time for them to know the truth about the man.

"This situation needs to be resolved as soon as possible and I don't feel it's appropriate to say anything more at this stage, apart from how let down I feel, personally and professionally."

I'm on Steve Bruce's side here, the club comes before any player, especially when that player has one foot out the door. Next year he'll be someone else's problem, let's say, oh, Harry Redknapp.

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BREAKING: Unconfirmed Rumor that Fulham Has Earned the UEFA Spot

My mate Adam just texted me to say that Fox Soccer Channel totally just announced that Fulham will get the UEFA fair play spot -- a story that, as far as we can tell, we were the first to break.

Yup, this constitutes an exclusive for UF. God knows it's probably wrong but, well, we're a blog so we are supposed to get things wrong.

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Just shut up Arsene

While we Arsenal fans have spent the past two months suffering through horrific ankle injuries, bullshit penalties, hideous finishing, and the general collapse of our season, our manager appears to have been smoking some excellent weed. At least I hope that's what he has been up to, otherwise he is just delusional and/or possibly senile. Arsene sounds delighted about yesterday's soulcrushing defeat to the Mancs, after the jump.


Wenger, abetted by the sychophant London press, has been spinning the string of chokes against quality sides as a moral victory of sorts. This AP article is a good example.

If any failure to meet objectives can be seen as a glorious failure, this was it.

Wenger, though conceding the title chase was over, remained defiant after Sunday's 2-1 defeat at Manchester United.

"We will continue to play the way we do but better," Wenger told reporters. "The main target is to keep the team together. They are absolutely amazing.

"I feel the difference between success and failure is very little."

No-one would dispute his words. Their football at times has been sublime.

Great, awesome. I really enjoyed seeing Adebayor, in the words of Hirshey, finish like a U-11 girl yesterday. Ever since LB coined him Samson in mid February, after he axed the corn rows, his play has gone to shit. I also really enjoyed when we passed the ball around twenty times inside the 18 and failed to even get a shot off.

How about some more torture, from the official site:

"I am not an idealist," he said. "I want to win trophies and I am very sad that we cannot win a trophy this season now.

"But on the other hand I feel we have done a lot for this League. We want to play the way we play but we want to do it better.

"There was a very, very thin margin between winning and losing this season but that is sport. The winner is praised beyond reason and the team who do not win is slaughtered beyond reason. That is true more in football. We feel there is not a big difference and we want to keep doing what we do.

"We play quality football because we believe it is best way to win trophies. Yes we lacked maturity in some games. Today we were calm at the back but in some games we lacked maturity. However I am confident that if we gain that then we will win again."

You know what I'm confident about? That if Arsene doesn't spend some fucking money this summer, I might be tempted to question my bandwagoning, pretentious EPL loyalties. Don't do it Arsene, don't make me support a bunch of car thieves up north! Or maybe I will just pretend I can speak German and root for Bayern Munich. Hey, at least then I see Ribery on a weekly basis. And at least Luca Toni can put the ball into the back of the net. I can also get my quota of psycho German keepers.

Seriously, though, ditch Gallas, and buy another good central defender (preferably from some sort of mildly authoritarian Balkan country). Use Toure where he belongs, in the center of defense, with Song as cover. Buy Phillipp Lahm from Bayern to play right back. Buy another winger, but commit to playing Theo much more often. Consider getting a goal poacher along the lines of Pippo Inzaghi. Recall Carlos Vela from Osasuna. If you have to sell someone to fund it all, may I suggest Rosicky, Eboue, or Senderos?

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More match-fixing, more easy sentences

In the few short months of this blog, I've become the go-to guy for a couple of subjects. I'm the bad jersey guy. I'm also the guy who writes on Scotland which nobody reads or cares for (sorry for so much Gretna this season). Now, with this new article, I feel I'll also be known as the guy who writes about match-fixers getting lenient sentences. Boy, what a c.v. I've built myself, huh? Anyway, details after the jump, as per usual.

This time we go to Singapore, where Liaoning Guangyuan (that's a team) forward Zhao Zhipeng had his court sentence reduced from seven to five months on appeal. He was convicted of accepting a $2700 bribe from his manager to help the team lose a match by at least three goals. That's right, the manager, Wang Xin, wanted his team to get a Paul Jewell-esque result.

In fact, Wang Xin was charged with offering bribes to all of his players on that day, and seven are charged with having accepted. Which makes Zhao Zhipeng's winning defense curious. Supposedly the manager was a fearsome beast and the player had no choice but to accept. Okay, fine. But what about the players who did not accept? Were they made of stronger mettle than the accused? I doubt it. At least four players are said to have refused. The formerly internationally fearsome Singaporean court system rolled over on this one, it would appear.

Wang Xin, for his part, was also arrested, but has skipped bail. Presumably, he has gone back to China, where authorities will have a hard time finding him, because, as everyone knows, all those guys look alike. Right?

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