It seemed like a good day to put some short posts together.
Some girl named Sarah put up a post with pictures of her favorite USMNT players. Oh, that's Sarah from the comments? Oh, okay. It's actually the best post like this we have ever seen. I don't know where she got the picture of Sacha Kljestan (actually I do, it's watermarked), but I've never seen him so clean.
Also, it seems that Sarah is spending the next semester abroad. We don't know where, but we wish her the best. Also, Sarah, if you come across any good stories while over there (wherever that is), please use the tipline!
[...and Sarah Clapped]
My favorite site to go to for out of the ordinary soccer stats is The Best Eleven. Last week, I emailed the site's editor asking him which top European leagues do not have any Brazilians. Not only did he do the research, but he turned it into a series of posts.
Below is the comprehensive post that confirms what I had suspected--that Scotland is the highest-ranked league not to have any Brazilians. Additionally, you'll see that three of the four top-flight leagues with no Brazilians have something in common. I wonder why that is?
[The Best Eleven]
Get used to this sight Seattle. 
This week's best result was a tough choice, with two big scorelines surprising me on Sunday. In the end, the absolute drubbing of Marseille by Nancy was slightly more impressive than bottom-feeder Valenciennes drawing with PSG. The gap between the latter two clubs is bigger in the table, but the way that AS Nancy throttled Olympique de Marseille was simply too much to ignore.
Saturday, December 20th:
Grenoble 2-1 Le Mans - Grenoble had scored 0 goals in their last 6 matches but were able to generate enough offense to take the 3 points in this match. They began the pressure early, with Batlles forcing a save from Le Mans GK Pele. Batlles maintained that pressure and his free-kick in the 34th minute found Djadjedje. The latter's shot crashed off the crossbar, but Baning was there to put in the rebound. Almost immediately after the break it was a Paillot header off another free-kick that gave Grenoble the 2-0 lead. Several minutes Gervinho sent in a shot that was parried by Grenoble GK Le Crom, and the rebound went directly to Maiga for the finish. Le Mans had one final chance to equalize and rescue the points, but Le Tallec's header was saved easily be Le Crom.
Lille 3-1 Le Havre - Lille's trio of firepower all scored to put down Le Havre in a match where the latter had more yellow cards shown than shots on goal. In a sign of things to come, the first chance of the match came for Lille in the 14th minute when Bastos played a backheel to Cabaye, whose pass to Obraniak resulted in a shot saved by Le Havre GK Revault. The result was a goal in the 30th minute when Bastos played an excellent pass through to Obraniak. The first chance for Le Havre came in the 42nd minute when ben Idir hit the crossbar, but they did not equalize until the 61st minute, on a nice shot from Alla (God Shammgod thinks that is an awesome name). In the 65th minute Revault was forced into a save by more excellent work from Bastos, followed shortly by Cabaye hitting the crossbar. In the 82nd minute Grenoble took the lead when Cabaye put the corner from Bastos into the back of the net, and the favor was returned in the 94th minute when Cabaye played Bastos through onto goal, beating the offside trap for an easy finish.
Lorient 1-2 Rennes - Continuing an incredible run, Rennes remained unbeaten in their last 17 matches to vault back into the top of the table. It was their physicality (20 fouls to 9; 4 yellow cards, including 1 to Bocanegra) which allowed them to boss Lorient all over the pitch, but they needed 2 late goals to take the 3 points. It was not from lack of trying, however, as Lemoine (17th minute), and Pagis (37th minute) forced Lorient GK Audard into saves. Lorient then began to pressure, with Jouffre having his shot cleared off the line in the 45th minute. That pressure paid off, as a Vahirua corner was slotted home by Morel in first-half injury time. Lorient looked to increase their lead with second-half pressure from Jouffre and Vahirua, both of whom forced Rennes GK Douchez into good saves. Rennes equalized in the 75th minute with Gyan (in his 1st Ligue 1 goal) on the end of a cross from Sow. The latter sealed the 3 points late in the match, receiving a pass from Pagis and dribbling around the stranded Audard.
Nantes 1-1 Sochaux - Despite only getting 1 shot on goal, Sochaux were able to make that shot count and hold on to 1 point in this match. In contrast, Sochaux GK Richert was kept busy, particularly in the first half as he was called upon to make saves on Da Rocha (30th minute), Djordjevic (35th minute), and N'Daw (40th minute). However, it was Sochaux who broke through first, with Erdinq scoring off a cross from Birsa in the 70th minute (despite also earning a yellow card, Erdinq doesn't get the honors this week because Sochaux are still firmly in the relegation zone). Nantes rescued the point in the 86th minute when Capoue finished off a nice pass from Abdoun, who had been an 83rd minute substitute.
Saint-Etienne 2-0 Auxerre - Saint-Etienne got their 3rd win in 4 matches, and sent Auxerre to their 5th defeat in their last 7 but both teams remain towards the bottom of the table. Saint-Etienne found early pressure through Gomis and Gigliotti, but it was teammate Machado who got the goal in the 12th minute after sending his free-kick into the wall and collecting his own rebound for the finish. The second-half started with equal difficulty for Auxerre, as GK Riou was forced into an acrobatic save on a bicycle kick from Gomis. After having had no chances on goal in the first-half, Auxerre stepped up their play with Kahlenberg and Niculae eliciting nice saves from Saint-Etienne GK Janot. Gomis cemented the 3 points in the 89th minute with a cheeky lob over Riou that came against the run of play.
Toulouse 2-2 Nice - Nice scored 2 bookend goals around a brace from Gignac to earn the draw. The first goal came in the 6th minute when Modeste finished a pass from Echouafni, and Nice looked to be in good position. As the match progressed, it was Toulouse who began to look more comfortable, particularly Gignac who forced Nice GK Ospina into a good save before slotting a shot past him in the 33rd minute on a pass from Bergougnoux. The latter then played Sissoko through on goal, but Ospina made the save again. In the 86th minute a long ball from Bergougnoux resulted a volley from Mathieu. The shot was stopped by Ospina, but the rebound came directly to Gignac for his brace. Hognon left it late to rescue the 1 point, as he headed home the equalizer for Nice in the 93rd minute.
Caen 0-1 Lyon - Olympique Lyonnais had only taken 2 points from their last 4 matches, but Benzema made sure that his club would come out with the full 3 points against Caen. In the 15th minute Fred had a very weak shot easily saved by Caen GK Plante, and the mercurial Brazilian promptly disappeared for the rest of the match. 1 minute later, Savidan forced Lyon GK Lloris into his only save of the match. Juninho and Benzema then provided all the pressure, with the latter slotting home a 20-yard strike in the 44th minute for the match winner. Plante was kept busy for the rest of the match, making saves on Boumsong and Juninho in quick succession. Caen had an opportunity to equalize in the 79th minute, but Toudic's volley was well off-target. Benzema thought he had a brace in the 87th minute, but he was adjudged to be offsides, and he had one last chance in the dying moments after receiving a pass from Govou but put the effort wide.
Sunday, December 21st:
Marseille 0-3 Nancy - The first day of winter brought a chilly reception for Marseille, as 22 shots and 67% of the possession went for naught. Nancy began early, with a header from Luiz in the 8th minute forcing a save from Marseille GK Mandanda. It was not until the 30th minute that L'OM got their first chance, with a shot from Cheyrou easily taken by Nancy GK Bracigliano (who later picked up a yellow card in an increasing trend for him). Just minutes later Nancy were ahead 1-0 on some defensive miscues, as Hadji jumped on a Gavanon corner amidst a scramble in the goal mouth. In the 39th minute, just 5 minutes after his first, Hadji had a brace as a pass from Brison sprung the trap and Marseille stood with their arms in the air clamoring for offsides. Marseille's only other legitimate chance came in the 55th minute after Samassa forced a good save from Bracigliano. Just 1 minute later the destruction was complete as Dia poached the ball from Ziani and lashed a 20-yard strike past Mandanda. The damage could have been even worse in the 63rd minute as Gavanon hit the post, but I'm sure Nancy were satisfied with the 3-0 thrashing.
Paris Saint-Germain 2-2 Valenciennes - The club from the capital looked to take the 3 points, but twice Valenciennes fought back from a deficit to equalize. In the 10th minute a Belmadi diving header was well-saved by PSG GK Landreau, and Hoarau immediately responded with a goal for PSG but was adjudged to have been offsides. Hoarau would get his goal in the 27th minute off a cross from Ceara, and the rest of the first-half was relatively listless. The second-half started off quickly, with some poor PSG defense on a cross allowing Mater to score in the 46th minute for the equalizer. PSG pushed to regain the lead, with a well-struck volley from Giuly well-saved by Valenciennes GK Penneteau in the 57th minute. The pressure resulted in a goal in the 72nd minute when Penneteau was only able to push aside a shot from Sessegnon directly into the path of Rothen for the finish. Sessegnon was then extremely unlucky in the 76th minute, as his shot hit both the crossbar and the post. PSG would rue that missed opportunity as Pujol lashed a shot off the crossbar in the 84th minute and Tiene put the rebound into the back of the net for the equalizer.
Monaco 3-4 Bordeaux - In perhaps the craziest match of the season, Monaco scored on every shot on goal to go up 3-0, only to watch Bordeaux steal the 3 points with 2 goals in the last 3 minutes. Pino opened the scoring for Monaco in the 13th minute with a vicious 30-yard free-kick that found the top-right corner of the goal. Bordeaux then had their only opportunity of the first-half snuffed out as Monaco GK Ruffier made a nice save on Cavenaghi. Licata gave his club the 2-0 lead right before the half as he took advantage of some hesitant defense to score. Almost immediately on the other side of half-time, Licata completed his brace when he headed home an excellent cross from Pino. Monaco must have felt in complete control, even when Chamakh (a half-time substitution) cut into the lead by heading home a Gourcuff free-kick a short time later in the 53rd minute. When Diarra sent in a 20-yard strike that beat Ruffier in the 67th minute, Monaco must have gotten slightly more nervous. When Chamakh completed his brace in the 87th minute by heading home a Gourcuff corner, Monaco must have been praying for the whistle to preserve the draw and the point. And when Chamakh provided the assist to Cavenaghi for the winning goal in the 89th minute, the club from the principality were left with nothing for their efforts. Despite his yellow card coming for his celebratory antics, Chamakh does indeed take home the "Goal-scorer to get carded" awarded on the basis of his Gordie Howe hat-trick. Freddy Adu watch: Freddy came on for Licata in the 75th minute, and promptly earned a yellow card in the 76th minute. Normally I'm all for getting Freddy some playing time, but Licata had a brace and by the 75th minute Monaco were only leading 3-2 - maybe Licata wasn't the best guy to take off?
So, after a thoroughly entertaining matchday 19, the top of the table looks like this: (1) Lyon, with 38 points on an 11-5-3 record and a +11 goal differential; (2) Bordeaux, with 35 points on a 10-5-4 record and a +4 goal differential; (3) Rennes, with 34 points on an 8-10-1 record and a +11 goal differential; and (4) Paris Saint-Germain, with 33 points on a 10-3-6 record and a +7 goal differential. In a week that featured numerous high-scoring games and an avalanche of yellow cards (was Howard Webb in charge of all of these matches?), Bordeaux jump from 3rd to 2nd, L'OM fall from 2nd to 5th, and Rennes jump from 5th to 3rd, while Lyon and PSG stand pat.
Stay tuned for the "Ligue 1 Halfway Review" later this week!
Leeds Boss Gary McAlister has been fired after 5 straight defeats leaving Leeds five points from 6th place. This was McAllister's second season in charge of Leeds. Last term they made the play-off final only to lose to Doncaster. McAllister was rewarded with a rolling one year contract and was expected to deliver promotion this season. Yesterday's 3-1 defeat to Milton Keynes appears to have been the final straw for a team who attract 19,000 supporters to a League One game. Just 5 years ago, Leeds were in the Premiership, today they occupy 9th place in the third tier of English football.
Well, I'm up for it this afternoon. Feeling ill in bed, I need a sense of purpose. Thus, a second liveblog of the day.
West Ham. Aston Villa. Will O'Neill get a firmer grip on 4th place, or will Zola's London renaissance continue?
Come Claret with me after the jump and make me feel loved.
LINEUPS
West Ham: Green, Neill, Davenport, Upson, Ilunga, Collison, Noble, Parker, Behrami, Bellamy, Cole.
Subs: Lastuvka, Boa Morte, Mullins, Faubert, Tristan, Bowyer, Di Michele.
Aston Villa: Friedel, Cuellar, Davies, Laursen, Luke Young, Petrov, Milner, Sidwell, Barry, Ashley Young, Agbonlahor.
Subs: Guzan, Harewood, Delfouneso, Knight, Reo-Coker, Shorey, Gardner.
They're in the tunnel getting ready to appear. I am hoping and praying that there will be goals in this one. Shit, if Sunderland can give us 4 goals by themselves, hopefully Agbo and Ashley can do the same for us here.
And we're off!
3 mins: Early corner for Villa, but Green (aka England's future #1, surely) comes out confidently to collect. This sentiment is amplified when I see how nervous David James looks when faced with any ball crossed into the 6-yard box.
5 mins: Villa are harassing the Hammers, making every simple pass across the backline seem like a chore. Ashley Young's already found some room down the left wing. Expect more of that as time goes on.
8 mins: Cagey start thus far. Both sides scrapping in midfield and trying to dictate the pace. Behrami gets hauled to ground by Barry as they battle for a 50/50 ball, giving the Hammers a free-kick 30 yards out on the right. Surely Bellamy's not looking to shoot from there, is he?
It's crossed in and headed back across goal by Davenport. Lucas Neill has enough room to shoot, but his weak half-volley lands right in Friedel's hands. Simple save. Counts as a half-chance.
10 mins: OUCH. Ilunga and Cuellar go full tilt for a loose ball and clash hard, with Ilunga's knee ending up buried in the Villa player's thigh. Cuellar is slow to get up and looks in some pain. It's a miracle he still has a right leg. O'Neill has a quick word and warms up a sub or two just in case. Not a bad idea as Cuellar hasn't managed anything above a limp since rejoining the action.
13 mins: Sh*t... the speedy malcontent Bellamy gets in behind the defense and clean through on goal, his low shot forces a fine leg save from Friedel. Should have buried that. Zola squirms in his seat, knowing that should have been 1-0. Troubling times for the visitors. Villa pour forward and win a corner off Lucas Neill. Ashley Young to swing it in...
... and while it bounces around in the area, eventually West Ham clear. Plenty of space to be had in midfield if either side is feeling brave.
3 decent efforts on goal for the Hammers thus far, nothing of note for Villa. Ashley gets around Behrami down the left and gets dragged to the floor. Young takes the free kick himself, short to Steve Sidwell, and he has a shot from the edge of the box. Tons of power, no direction whatsoever. Well off-target, 10 yards wide to the right.
25 mins: Sorry, stepped away for a few minutes to hack up a lung. Being ill over the holidays are never fun.
27 mins: As soon as I come back, Villa get a gift as Parker plays a terrible backpass that gives Ashley Young a chance one-on-one with Green. He beats Green for pace but pulls the ball too wide, and his shot at the empty net ends up hitting the post and pinging out.
28 mins: Yes, Precious Roy, they are definitely outplaying Villa. Then again, that's what it so bewitching about Villa: all they need is a half-chance to break an opponent's will, regardless of having far less possession and shots on goal. The pattern might well continue if Scott Parker plays such ridiculous backpasses without looking.
30 mins: Was that a penalty a minute ago? Lucas Neill smothers Gareth Barry in the box like a warm blanket, and no whistle.
31 mins: Gabby Agbo flops under pressure from Calum Davenport after a trademark run-right-into-traffic, and Ashley Young puts the free kick just wide of the post. Green had no chance of stopping it if it were an inch to the right. Another good chance for Villa, yet the game remains goalless.
Here's a thought: if Villa win today, they'll be 4 points out of 1st place. Should we include them in the EPL title chase? It seems foolish not to, especially with their pace up-front.
Never thought I'd ever think that, by the way.
35 mins: Well, Bellamy goes close again. He gets free down the right and forces a corner as Curtis Davies heads behind. Good pressure from the Hammers. As much as I hate him, Bellamy is finding some rare form of late.
38 mins: Nothing substantial happening at the moment. There is tension in the game as Capello watches from the stands, but you get the feeling that it'll amount to a 0-0.
Bellamy gets another good cross in from the right but no-one can get on the end. Curtis Davies looks like a titan at the back.
40 mins: Frustration for Villa as yet another crossfield pass ends up floating out for a throw-in. They look far from their usual selves, playing more errant passes than Jermaine Pennant on a good day.
43 mins: Behrami unleashes a wicked swerving volley down Friedel's throat, knocking the Yank GK off his feet in making the save.
45 mins: Robert Green is forced to show his class once again, as Villa split the defense twice. Gabby can't control initially to shoot, but Milner and Barry force two good saves within 10 seconds. Please, fire David James already, Mr. Capello.
HALF TIME: West Ham 0, Aston Villa 0
Fair result thus far. The Hammers are dictating possession and looking more inventive in midfield, but Villa's squandered three glorious chances to put the game away. Please, give this ailing liveblogger some goals.
Quick moment for some wonderful Beckham PR work as he's officially unveiled at AC Milan today:"Meanwhile, David Beckham is officially unveiled at AC Milan. I've already fallen in love. I love the history behind great teams. It's going to be hard to leave but we all know that I play in America for the Galaxy. But I'm going to have a great time here I hope."
I love the nonchalance of his LA Galaxy reference, and the loaded language. You just know he's never coming back, right?
Subs for West Ham to start the second half: Hayden Mullins on, Scott Parker off. A substitution they've used a few times lately as Parker struggles to find full match fitness. Mullins did play a blinder against Spartak the other week.
46 mins: West Ham begin the half like they ended the first: with good possession and movement up the pitch. Ilunga gives Bellamy a glimpse of goal but he's well marked and gives Friedel a simple save.
Ashley Young barges into Behrami under a high ball, giving the Hammers a free kick in a tasty position 25-ish yards out. Noble swings it in and Upson gets a free header on it, but there's no-one on the near post to re-direct it and it goes wide. Opportunity missed.
49 mins: More Hammers pressure as Carlton Cole earns yet another corner for the home side. Lucas Neill gets a clean header from Noble's delivery but puts it yards over the bar. There's a goal coming soon, I can sense it despite my weakness...
52 mins: I don't think Villa have taken the pitch yet to start the second half. More half-hearted defending gives West Ham another corner, only for Sidwell to shank it clear. All the action is around Friedel's goal at the minute. No cohesion or comfort on the ball for O'Neill's side in this second half yet.
54 mins: A Luke Young sighting! He gets a second to cross from the wing but puts it out of play. Agbo and Ashley have been non-existent thus far, thanks to the hustle of the Hammers midfield to cut out distribution. They're definitely the EPL's form team at the moment. Parker, Noble, Mullins are a nightmare to face in front of Upson, Davenport and Neill. Nigh-on impossible to break them down.
56 mins: Time for another tactical Zola sub (Parker wasn't injured; purely tactics)... looks like Behrami will be exiting.
Here it is: Valon Behrami off, Lee Bowyer on.
Villa will take the stoppage to make a change as well: Carlos Cuellar off, Nigel Reo-Coker on. He's booed immediately with every touch he gets on the ball. Breaking the Hammers' hearts by causing a fuss and demanding a transfer away from Upton Park will do that, I guess.
60 mins: Carlton Cole, HUUUUUHH, What are you good for, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, say it again! He wastes a glorious chance to give West Ham the lead, managing to head Lucas Neill's gorgeous cross over the bar from 4 yards out.
Villa come down and cause a scare, as Luke Young's long cross to the back post misses everyone but James Milner, but he can't get on the end of it.
64 mins: The Hammers fans are rejuvenated by the appearance of Reo-Coker. Every touch is greeted with a chorus of boos and insults. I love this game. Fans never forget this stuff.
Villa waste a corner and Bellamy gets space and time on the ball in the box. His cross sits up perfectly for Carlton Cole, except Laursen nips in at the last second to divert the ball off his feet. Cole still manages a shot on the rebound, and Friedel saves with his feet. So wasteful, Mr. Cole.
Trying times for Villa. Another West Ham corner out on the right, Noble to take...
... and Davenport gets a free header, putting it just over the bar. I don't remember the last time Villa were this outmatched in the air, and this outplayed on the floor as well.
66 mins: Cole goes close again, shoving past two defenders and forcing a near-post save and clearance from Friedel. Villa counter-attack with Ashley Young, but Neill knocks him over to slow the pace and picks up a yellow card.
A West Ham goal is imminent. Surely. Remove Carlton Cole and replace with any semi-competent striker, and this game is over.
69 mins: Ashley Young finally gets a bit of space to show his class. One-on-one with Neill, he cuts inside and blasts a swerving shot just wide of the far post. He had time to blast it, but went for placement instead. The Hammers exhale. 20 minutes left.
71 mins: Oh, Ashley. Barry robs Noble in midfield and gives it to Young, who cuts inside again but plays a curving cross to no-one and gives Green a goal kick. Wasteful.
72 mins: James Milner picks up a yellow for bodychecking Ilunga at full speed. Noble to take it, wide on the left...
... cleared easily.
74 mins: Great reflexes by Davenport to take the ball of Gabby's feet as he sets up to shoot from 10 yards out. The Hammers deserve at least a point, if not all 3. Can they break through in the final 15 minutes? I'll say no, if Cole stays on the pitch.
76 mins: More pressure at Friedel's end as the Hammers keep pushing.
78 mins: GOAL GOAL GOAL GOAL, and what a steaming pile of bullshit it is. Villa break quickly with Young up the middle, and finds Milner out on the left. Lucas Neill closes him down easily enough, and Milner elects to cross/shoot to the far post. It loops off Neill's leg/arse area and dips under the bar at the last second, leaving Green helpless. Milner and Barry barely celebrate. Utter rubbish. The most undeserved lead for any team this season. West Ham 0, Aston Villa 1
80 mins: A heartbreaker for Zola. How will they respond? The life has just been sucked out of the home side as Villa finally assert themselves a bit in the midfield. Dare I say it, but O'Neill might well park the bus for the final 10 minutes. Zola's finally getting some strikers warmed up for his final substitution. Carlton Cole can expect an early shower.
83 mins: Ashley Young ends up on the right wing, winning a corner. It's half-cleared, and Petrov blasts the loose ball high and wide.
Substitution for West Ham, and it's not Carlton Cole! Jack Collison off, Diego Tristan on.
86 mins: Hang about, Ashley Young is dead. Davenport gets his leg up to clear a difficult cross, and his boot meets Young's face as he tries to race on the end of it. As one would expect, little to no sympathy from the home fans.
87 mins: Davenport, how did you miss that? A series of half-chances for West Ham around the box, and it breaks for Calum free on the right. He shoots for top corner and Friedel paws it around the post for a corner.
Another throw for West Ham deep in Villa territory. Neill loops it in and causes havoc in the box, but Villa clear once again.
West Ham have 8 up-front at the moment, the crowd urging them to find an equalizer. Another cross whipped in from the left, but Davies gets to it first and directs it back to Big Bald Brad. Crisis averted.
4 added minutes at Upton Park.
90 mins + 1: West Ham push again, but Bowyer mauls Ashley Young and concedes a free-kick, giving Friedel plenty of time to waste in punting it forward. I think we're just about done here.
90 mins + 2: Cole gets a chance to shoot, but it's deflected wide. He's a bit rubbish. This game could have been over by the hour mark if he'd been more gifted in the finishing department.
Still, they drag forward again. Cole botches another header.
FULL TIME: West Ham 0, Aston Villa 1
Desperately unlucky for Zola. The home side did everything right except for putting it in the net, and Milner's freakish deflected goal ends up being good enough to put Aston Villa in 3rd place for Christmas.
As Precious Roy notes in the comments, this is very much the hallmark of Top 4 clubs: win those games you're not supposed to win. Villa have played about 6 minutes of decent football today, and yet they have three points to show for it. Let's see how Liverpool and Arsenal do tomorrow, although the early game (Newcastle v. Spurs) should be entertaining as well.
Now my online feed is showing Real Madrid v. Valencia. It's 1-0 Real, 27 mins gone! (not liveblogging that one though)
O Deities, what hast we done to deserve this horror, this torment, this torture?
Perhaps as penance for some greater cosmic evil, we're given the worst slate of Saturday games since the sport was invented.
Seriously.
It's as if the EPL gods decided that a Liverpool/Arsenal match (which probably won't be very memorable anyways) was good enough for the entire fixture list, and as such, we're stuck today with the bitter dregs, all the games you would never pay to see.
Because I'm a sadist, I think I'll liveblog, depending on which game has the best streaming feed. If they're all rubbish (and that might be a blessing in disguise), we'll keep to an open thread.
Either way, please settle in and support the Worst Saturday Ever. It's enough to make Roy Keane quit his job all over again.
Come P45 with us after the jump. Fixtures, lineups, banter. You know the deal.
Saturday in the EPL
Blackburn v. Stoke
Bolton v. Portsmouth
Fulham v. Middlesbrough
Hull v. Sunderland
West Ham v. Aston Villa (12.30pm kick-off)
Actually, that Ham/Villa game might not be so bad, but to get to it, we have four clunkers. How many 0-0 draws will we get? How many chances will Defoe fluff in front of goal? Can the Ricky S express at Sunderland continue?
LINEUPS:
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Blackburn v. Stoke
Blackburn: Robinson, Ooijer, Samba, Nelsen, Warnock, Emerton, Dunn, Andrews, Pedersen, McCarthy, Roberts.
Subs: Brown, Kerimoglu, Khizanishvili, Mokoena, Simpson, Judge, Derbyshire.
Stoke: Sorensen, Shawcross, Sonko, Abdoulaye Faye, Higginbotham, Delap, Whelan, Amdy Faye, Cresswell, Pericard, Fuller.
Subs: Simonsen, Olofinjana, Soares, Pugh, Davies, Tonge, Wilkinson.
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Bolton v. Portsmouth
Bolton: Jaaskelainen, Steinsson, Cahill, Andrew O'Brien, Samuel, Davies, Nolan, McCann, Taylor, Gardner, Elmander.
Subs: Al Habsi, Muamba, Smolarek, Riga, Shittu, Basham, Obadeyi.
Portsmouth: James, Pamarot, Campbell, Distin, Hreidarsson, Diop, Davis, Hughes, Kranjcar, Defoe, Crouch.
Subs: Ashdown, Diarra, Nugent, Little, Kanu, Armand Traore, Wilson.
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Fulham v. Middlesbrough
Fulham: Schwarzer, Pantsil, Hughes, Hangeland, Konchesky, Davies, Bullard, Murphy, Gera, Dempsey, Johnson.
Subs: Zuberbuhler, Zamora, Nevland, Etuhu, Stoor, Andreasen, Kallio.
Middlesbrough: Turnbull, McMahon, Riggott, Huth, Pogatetz, Johnson, Shawky, Arca, Downing, Aliadiere, Sanli.
Subs: Jones, Taylor, Mido, Emnes, Alves, Wheater, Walker.
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Hull v. Sunderland
Hull: Myhill, Mendy, Turner, Zayatte, Ricketts, Garcia, Ashbee, Boateng, Geovanni, Barmby, King.
Subs: Duke, Doyle, Windass, Halmosi, Marney, Cousin, Giannakopoulos.
Sunderland: Fulop, Bardsley, Nosworthy, Ferdinand, Collins, Malbranque, Tainio, Richardson, Reid, Jones, Cisse.
Subs: Colgan, Whitehead, Edwards, Murphy, Leadbitter, Yorke, Healy.
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Biggest news thus far today:
Roque Santa Cruz misses Big Sam's Blackburn debut. So... who will he be playing for in January, and how much will they pay for him?
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Early reports suggest that I'll be digesting the Hull/Sunderland action. If any of 'em have the potential to erupt into goals, this would be it.
Lineups are above... see you in a few minutes.
Of course, the Hull game is now being broadcast in Arabic, so maybe I should have amended my earlier statement to read "whichever game I can find in English, I'll watch." Stay tuned, I think it might end up being Blackburn. (WHY LORD, WHY?!?!?)
Sorry folks, a few technical difficulties. Apparently I've already missed two goals in the Bolton game. Crap.
Finally found a feed for Blackburn/Stoke... let's get stuck in despite being ten minutes late.
8 mins: GOAL GOAL GOAL GOAL... As soon as I turn it on, Big Sam's lads get a goal from the penalty spot. Gamst Pedersen is annihilated by Ibrahima Sonko and Benni McCarthy steps up to convert the spot kick. Great start for Allardyce! Blackburn 1, Stoke 0
10 mins: Perhaps unsurprisingly, the Blackburn M.O. of scoring a goal and then looking hopeless at the back continues. Stoke pile on the pressure and Ricardo Fuller has a fair penalty shout as he gets sandwiched between Samba and Ooijer. There will be more goals in this one.
15 mins: Watching Fuller and Chris Samba tussle time and again is going to be fun. They're both about 6 ft 6 and carved from solid oak, and their clashes around the area are reminiscent of that "unstoppable force v. unmoveable object" image. Gamst gets a spot of space wide on the left, but floats a cross right into Simonsen's hands (Thomas Sorensen was injured in warm-ups). Neither team are afraid to leave acres of space in midfield. End to end stuff so far.
17 mins: More space down the left for Blackburn as Warnock gets a cross in that Stoke clear, but only just. Throw-in from the right wing.
18 mins: GOAL GOAL GOAL GOAL... another for Blackburn! The quick throw-in is whipped across the face of goal and Shawcross inexplicably clears it off his shin right to Jason Roberts, who tucks it underneath Simonsen. No chance for the goalie. Shocking, shocking defending, and Big Sam has 2 goals seemingly from nothing. Blackburn 2, Stoke 0
20 mins: Fuller and Nelsen clash in midfield, leaving the Blackburn defender in a heap. Drop-ball gets us back underway, and Stoke pile on more pressure. Robinson comes out a mile to punch another inswinging cross clear, and it looks like he took out his own defender in the proceess. Andre Ooijer doesn't appear to know what time or day it is as he is slowly helped to his feet.
Both Blackburn goals have come against the run of play, and their inability to assert themselves in the middle of the pitch is going to be a problem.
23 mins: Nice passing in midfield by Stoke amounts to nothing as Emerton breaks up the play, and now Amdy Faye is down, rubbing his head and wondering just where he went wrong in life to end up living and playing in Stoke.
Technical difficulties plague me yet again... be right back.
30 mins: GOAL GOAL GOAL GOAL.... unbelievable! Big Sam gets another goal as Blackburn play their best football of the year. Roberts and McCarthy link up like the second coming of Romario and Bebeto, as Benni flicks on for Jason whose shot is saved, but his partner-in-crime is in the perfect place to drive the rebound home. Ewood Park might collapse under the weight of cheering and false hope. Blackburn 3, Stoke 0
Amazing what a new manager can do, innit? Samba takes a knock but rejoins the fray. You get the feeling that Blackburn simply don't want to stop scoring. Stoke look battered and bruised, like the chef who cooked Mike Ashley's last 10-course dinner. They've no response to the physicality, the desire, and the patented New Manager Effect (I believe our resident statistician/Chelsea fan, Autoglass, has a theory about it).
39 mins: Stoke are still looking to get forward down the wings, but Samba tidies up the mess. Stoke throw, which Delap isn't taking for some reason. Blackburn clear easily.
If you're Paul Ince, you have to wonder just why Benni McCarthy couldn't do this three weeks ago. That must be so infuriating for the fired/departed manager, to turn on the TV and see the exact same group of players putting on a masterclass worthy of Brazil '82. Ah well, at least he got severance pay.
40 mins: The game's not dead yet. Fuller is finding some room around the box as more neat Potters passing gives him an opening, but Amdy Faye takes the half-clearance and volleys it about 50 yards over the bar, and into the city center. Pulis looks perplexed. What can one do against the weight of a New Manager?
43 mins: Fuller isn't happy with the ref as he gets manhandled by Nelsen once again.
45 mins: Stoke lurch forward again, looking for their first actual shot on goal. They've had plenty of those shots that end up in orbit, and Whelan adds another moon-bound shot to the tally, ruining a nice build-up by firing well wide from 30 yards. He had some room to push further forward as well.
Shut up, u75! I was being miserable earlier. I think I predicted a boatload of goals in yesterday's predictions, thank you very much.
45 mins + 3: Fuller levels Nelsen as the header back to Robinson loses speed in the air, no card. Cresswell ends up getting into the book seconds later for a double-footed slide, which makes you wonder how Sonko didn't get sent off for nearly removing Gamst's leg inside 10 minutes.
Half Time: Blackburn 3, Stoke 0
Comfortable stuff for the home side and their shiny new manager.
Blackburn's making a list, they're checking it twice
Decided to go with Big Sam Allardyce
They're winning though Santa will be leaving town
Time to take a break as Allardyce prepares for the easiest half-time talk of his patchy career.
Quick Poll:
If I can muster up the energy to liveblog the Villa game too, will you all stick around?
What does everyone want for Christmas this year? I'd love to see Liverpool still in 1st place by New Year's Day. That'd be lovely.
They're back on the pitch, and Stoke are ready to kick-off. Do they have any hope of a comeback? Blackburn are big fans of comedy defending.
46 mins: Stoke get things started, and win an early free-kick just inside the Blackburn half. Higginbotham drifts it in, and Warnock clears for a throw. Sonko manages to put the throw out for a goal-kick. Well done indeed, Ibrahim. He's having a blinder so far.
48 mins: More Stoke pressure, and Faye wins a corner. Paul Robinson looks nervous. He's not good from set pieces...
... and it's almost disaster. Robbo comes off his line late and gets nowhere near it, relying on Samba to put it out for another corner. Whelan whips in a crap effort, and it's cleared.
50 mins: Anything Stoke can do, Blackburn can do better. Gamst enjoys another mazy, threatening run down the left, forcing Shawcross to punt it out for a throw.
52 mins: The Potters are still giving it some effort. They win a throw-in right at the touchline that Sonko fires in. Mild panic in the box as Ooijer manages to get it clear, but it falls to Delap for a wide-open shot and he volleys into the crowd. Better from Stoke, to be sure. Robinson hasn't really regained his confidence once he was shunned from Spurs, has he?
54 mins: Based on the first ten minutes of the half, you'd never believe Blackburn are winning 3-0. They are sitting back in their box, allowing wave after wave of Stoke throw-ins and corners. Here's another for Whelan - it's half-cleared and then his resultant cross ends up almost reaching the half-way line.
Shaky stuff from the home team. It says a lot when they still don't look comfortable with a 3 goal lead against Stoke. Fuller wins a free-kick 25/30 yards out after Nelsen uses Fuller as a ladder to win an aerial challenge. Whelan to take...
... sooooo close Whelan's effort shaves the post/crossbar junction, although Robinson was across to save if needed. Excellent attempt. Blackburn then manage to get into the Stoke half, but Roberts fouls Shawcross immediately and the traffic comes back the other direction. Really -- this second half is confusing. Blackburn play like they're frightened.
For those of you asking, here's Cisse's green hairstyle. Strangely enough, it's not the worst one he's ever had.
Aaaaand the feed's gone again. I'll be right back once I've killed the person responsible (and no, that doesn't mean I'll be committing suicide shortly.)
Subs for Stoke: Tonge and Soares on, Crap Delap and Pericard off.
64 mins: More chances for the Potters. Defending is not something that Blackburn know how to do. They should adopt a Detroit Lions approach and just spend all their money on strikers. Shit, if they can just score 7 goals a game, the 5 they concede won't matter.
Fuller with a great chance - a cross in from the left and Ricardo loses his marker and heads it low across goal, forcing a great reaction save from Robinson.
68 mins: Blackburn win a free-kick 35 yards out and get a chance to catch their breath. Gamst is shaping up to blast it...
... and he lifts it miles over the goal, eliciting groans and moans from the home crowd. Big Sam preps a substitute: Dunn off to a standing ovation, Tugay to enter the fray.
70 mins: Stoke break quickly and Fuller gets bundled over again. He bites his tongue against the constant fouling and jogs upfield, hoping for some good service.
A rare break for Blackburn but Gamst gives it up far too easily. They can't hold the ball for more than 60 seconds at a time, which has to make Big Sam nervous; after all, you can't be winning every game 3-0 and start acting scared.
Stoke win another corner, their 3,596th of the game, but Blackburn clear easily.
74 mins: HOW DID HE MISS THAT? Tugay plays a wonderful through-ball setting Warnock free down the left. He whips in a low cross and Roberts forces a great double-save from Simonsen, once with a volley and then again with a header.
HOW DID HE MISS THAT, vol 2 Almost immediately, Roberts is put free through the middle, and his low shot is saved at Simonsen's feet and out for a corner.
From the corner, it falls to Benni M and he hits the post. Stoke break but to no avail. Much better from Big Sam's men!
Matt Derbyshire replaces Benni McCarthy for Blackburn, while Olofinjana replaces Amdy Faye for Stoke.
80 mins: Looks like both teams blew their load there. Lots of patchy possession in midfield, but Stoke are still happy to attack...
... and they almost score! Shawcross cuts in from the right, it falls to Olofinjana who volleys hard to Robbo's right. He parries it and the rebound falls to Fuller (who's a mile offside), and justice is served as he drags the shot wide of the far post.
82 mins: Whelan has space in midfield to shoot, and he puts it well wide under pressure. Pulis can call off the dogs now. Consolation goals are overrated anyway.
Sunderland take the lead right before Hull are reduced to 10 men. This is turning out to be a great weekend for two relegation-zone teams that just cleaned out their managers.
85 mins: Messy at the back for Stoke as Roberts threatens again, but Shawcross wakes up just in time to hoot it clear. Warnock then gets time on the left to whip in a cross, and it ends up in the stands.
Sub for Blackburn: Simpson on, Emerton off.
89 mins: Stoke almost get on the scoresheet as Chris Samba's gaffe gives Cresswell a sniff at the near post, but it ends up scuffing the woodwork and going out for a goal kick. Robinson breathes again in search of the clean sheet.
BEST PART ABOUT SUNDERLAND AND BLACKBURN WINNING: It puts Manchester City in the relegation zone at 18th place. F*cking magic.
This game is just about dead. The loudspeaker announces Ryan Nelsen as Man of the Match, but we should check if managers can get the award, as Big Sam's ability to waltz in and coax 3 goals out of a team that is woeful in attack is worthy of some accolade.
90 mins + 3: Roberts gets a whiff of Goal #4, but he finishes weakly at Simonsen's feet. We're just waiting to be put out of our misery now.
Stoke try gamely once more to get down the left wing, winning a throw for their troubles.
FULL TIME: Blackburn 3, Stoke 0
I think I'll take a break before considering a Villa liveblog. That's what being ill and confined to bed will do to you: it gives you the overwhelming urge to blog.
Now, for real.
From the tipline: FA Disciplinary committee calls Man U a bunch of big, fat liars [Telegraph]
Liverpool's boring Christmas party. WTF is Gerrard wearing? [The Sun]
SBI's first mock MLS draft. Guy from Jackass goes in the 15th slot [Soccer by Ives]
RESPECT campaign moves north of the border. Will work just as well [BBC]
Wigan get some money back from the thieving police [BBC]
Things that will not happen. Number 1: this [Soccerent]
Bosses of Medellin club in arrest shocker. Okay, not really a shocker, but it's hard to convey that you expect such an arrest to happen in snappy headline form. "arrest no-brainer"? "arrest expecteder?" I don't know [Google]
And, finally:
Don't mess with girls who play high school soccer in New York. They'll punch you [Record Online]
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