Somebody Really Wants to Win 'World's Biggest Dick' Award

Wow, just wow.

So, a United fan in Nigeria is so upset about the Champions League loss he drives his bus into a crowd of celebrating Barcelona fans and kills four of them. Dick.

Jesus, at least upset Arsenal fans are classy enough to only take their own lives.

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Phil Gartside Wants to Destroy Football and Get Rich Doing It.

Bolton's Chairman has a new plan, one that would change the structure of the Premier League from one league to two. In his ideal world, there would be no relegation to the Football League and more money available for his comfy non-achievers to not spend on players while not worrying about a loss of revenue via relegation for sucking arse.

Gartside's plan is this: he wants the Premier League scrapped and in its place TWO leagues of 18 with no relegation. He also wants to include Scottish teams Rangers and Celtic. He states that less games means a winter break that benefits the England team.

Ok. Lets address these points shall we?

"You could have 36 Premier League clubs split into 18 and 18, and that would also solve the problems of the winter break and supporting the England team." - Phil Gartside

Mr Gartside could not give two shits about the England team. This is one of many bullshit excuses to cover up his eagerness to prevent Bolton from the threat of relegation while keeping a Premier League income, gates and TV money rolling through the door.

"It would even everything out and it would make it more competitive." - Phil Gartside

Tosh... what Gartside is presenting here is to allow the Boltons, Boros, and Pompeys of the EPL to sit comfortably while not competing with new signings and the pressure of relegation. The outcome will be a huge gulf between the top and the bottom, 10 times what it is today. This plan allows teams like Bolton to save cash on players and effectively get rich while finishing last. In short, the complete opposite of what he says.

Not to mention that by selecting 18 teams, he will destroy lower league football. No path to the top flight, no hope for fans. Taking away the dream of promotion from teams outside of these 36 teams will kill the game. Gates will drop, there will be no interest to show games and clubs will fold. Ok as long Gartside gets to make a buck while signing duffers on a free transfer.

Gartside: Obvious motives.

"We have already got to the situation where the three clubs that go down from the Premier League are usually the three that come up, although a couple of others might sneak in." - Phil Gartside.

Sound the buzzer. That statement is absolute garbage...

Going back to 2002/03, let's look at the teams promoted and relegated.

2002/03: Man City, West Brom, Birmingham up at the beginning of the year. West Brom, Sunderland, West Ham down.

2003/04: Portsmouth, Leicester City, Wolves up. Wolves, Leeds, Leicester down.

2004/05: Norwich, West Brom, Crystal Palace up. Norwich, Crystal Palace, Southampton down.

2005/06: Sunderland, Wigan, West Ham up. Birmingham, West Brom, Sunderland down.

2006/07: Reading, Sheffield United, Watford up. Charlton, Sheffield United, Watford down.

2007/08: Sunderland, Birmingham City, Derby County up. Reading, Birmingham, Derby County down.

2008/09: Stoke City, Hull City, West Brom up.

Thats 17 different teams promoted to the Premier League in the last 7 years.


So what about Celtic and Rangers joining?

Why oh why should Rangers and Celtic join an English league? They are in Scotland. Where they have raped the smaller clubs of Scotland for their best talent and now have an uncompetitive league. They have made their bed and now they must lie in it. Also, the level of football in Scotland is nowhere near the EPL's standard to me, maybe Colaship at best. If you look at the Rangers and Celtic teams you will see players from Scotland, the best available poached from other Scottish clubs and the Championship outnumber players from the top leagues -- EPL, Spain, Germany, Italy -- and players from the top leagues are usually older than Tutankhamen. Let's just check this out for a minute.

Rangers

Allan McGregor, loaned to Dunfermline and St Johnstone.
David Weir, 39 years old, Joined from Everton.
Pedro Mendes, 30, signed from Portsmouth.
Sasa Papac, from Austria Vienna.
Kevin Thompson from Hibernian.
Kris Boyd from Kilmarnock.
Nacho Novo from Dundee.
Charlie Adam, on loan to Blackpool.
Lee McCulloch, signed from Wigan.
Steven Naismith from Kilmarnock.
Alan Gow, on loan to Norwich.
Graeme Smith from Kilmarnock.
Kenny Miller from Wolves.
DeMarcus Beasley, loaned from Man City.
Kirk Boradfoot from St Mirren.
Andy Webster from Hearts via Bristol City.
Christian Dailly, 38, from West Ham.
Neil Alexander, Stenhouse Muir via Cardiff City.
Kyle Lafferty, 3 million from Burnley (Clarets saw them coming a mile away)

That team look a Premiership side to you? They would be destroyed! But in Gartsides World they could impose that dross on your weekend footy watching.

Celtic

Lee Naylor, from Wolves.
Gary Caldwell from Derby.
Bobo Balde, 34, from Toulouse.
Glenn Loovens from Cardiff City.
Jean Doumbe from Rennes.
Scott Cuthbert from Livingston.
Paul Hartley, 33 , from Hearts.
Willow Flood from Cardiff.
Paddy McCort from Derry City.
Georgios Samaras from Man City.
Scott McDonald from Motherwell via MK Dons.

I'm just gonna stop... it's getting embarrassing. No offence to these teams, they have equipped themselves for the league they play in.

But why should Rangers and Celtic get a pass and enter this new league at the expense of 2 English teams? If these two want to play in England then they can start at the bottom like everyone else. I have no objections to Rangers and Celtic joining the Rymans League, 3 tiers below the Blue Square. Want to play in the top flight? Earn it.

But Bigus, you are just pissed because Norwich won't be included!

Well, they would likely be included. Norwich have the 16th biggest attendance in the Country and would surely be included in the second league, along with Bolton, whose average attendance is much lower than that of the super Yellows! However, I would loathe to see my team play week in week out with no incentive. Nothing to play for.

Gartside presented his plan to kill football and make money at a meeting 3 days ago. If the other Premier League chairmen have any sense, they will see this stupid, transparent idea for exactly what it is: Self-Preservation, and Gartside's attempt to stabilize his club at the expense of everyone elses.

-Bigus

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