Come Blow Your Horn, Just Not That One.

I know what you are thinking... Heidi took the picture.

Austria is banning the Vuvuzelas that invaded the Confederations Cup last month. That's rich for a country known for the love of blowing giant horns! But it's not the noise that the Austrians are worried about. One of their reasons is quite frankly bollocks. The other makes perfect sense.


So what's the reason? Apparently the Austrian professional football league says that the famous bee sounding horns "can be used as projectiles. Furthermore, they can incite aggressive behaviour amongst other fans."

No shit...Right, on those grounds I demand that the foam finger also be outlawed as I was poked in the eye once while a small child celebrated a goal against Stockport County and I am sure that could also happen in Austria. Also they will need to ban tea, apart from being housed in a dangerous plastic missile, the t-bags can be thrown at players or security staff. Oh no people. I have seen it. QPR away, that's what they got for selling the beverage cold!

In fact you would have to ban all items from coming in, money is a much more dangerous missile than a light weight plastic trumpet surely? Lets also ban that. Oh that's right, no money? No beer, burgers, pies, or replica kits. can't have that.


Culture? Not mine. I don't want my elders to travel across the country for a visit, thanks!

While Austria are certainly creative with one of their excuses,(it's a pretty shit missile) the second claim has validity. That's 'inciting aggressive behaviour'. The vuvuzela is as irritating as being sat on a bus full of mosquito's while small children sing the hokey pokey with Elmo. These trumpets, horns, plastic demons need to be stopped. The one tone drone that emits from the nasty buggers would turn a saint to sin. Personally if I ever find myself next to someone who is blowing one, I will react with a violence usually reserved for an episode of Friday night Smackdown. If I had my way, I'd make the ban law. Offenders would be locked in a bee filled chamber while I practice heavy metal classics with a Kazoo. See how they like it, bastards.

Well done Austria. Let's hope the rest of the World can follow suit.

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Pau-lo Can You Go.

Q.P.R. and F1 supremo Bernie Ecclestone must have been really desperate to get rid of manager Paulo Sousa. The excuse they used to sack the former Portuguese international was so daft and so pathetic that I thought it was a joke.

Sousa was fired for divulging secret and sensitive information. Woaahhhhhhhh. Paulo, WTF man? You leaked the clubs finances to the press? No? You told the fans that the club was being moved to Scotland? No? You found out about the underground missile base hiding below the 'school end' at Loftus Rd? No? Then why did they give you the boot? Oh...You complained that you didn't know anything about Dexter Blackstock's loan move to Nottingham Forest! Oh, that will do it alrigh...wait!

It is a decision for the board and only they can answer it. I'm not frustrated, I said from the first day I have to adapt and try to do my best with the players I have. - Paulo Sousa after Q.P.R.'s draw with Palace last Saturday.

What a sack-less bunch the Q.P.R. board must be. They are technically the richest team in the country and they look for lame arse excuses to fire the coach. Ecclestone should have just manned up, admitted he was after instant success and fired the guy because the team were not doing the business on the pitch. But that would have meant paying Sousa money. The remainder of his contract. This lowdown move is nothing short of disgusting and disrespectful. If talking about the players and the board to the press is a sackable offence then managers would be fired daily. Rafa would have been fired long ago. Sousa was basically just telling the truth. Maybe he shouldn't have but football managers often speak out of turn and say what they mean. They are not geniuses.

Napoleon in Rags tunes in for instant results.

Q.P.R.'s results haven't been great recently. They are currently 10th in the Colaship, 9 points from the playoffs. When Sousa was handed the reigns just 4 months ago he was told that he was expected to build a team. How he was supposed to do that and achieve success in just 26 games is just beyond me. Not as if they were struggling near the bottom is it?

Sousa is the 4th guy to get the chop at Loftus Rd since F1 a-hole, I mean Warhol-lookalike Ecclestone and his mate Flavio Briatore took over in September 2007.

One thing is for sure, managers are out the Q.P.R. door faster than Ecclestone's Renault Formula 1 cars. His racing team are currently 4th in the standings, a whopping 21 points off the top of the constructors table and rivals Brawn-Mercedes.

-Bigus

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