Not to Be Outdone by the Worst Photoshop Ever.... It's the Worst Headline Ever

I do realize that British tabloids are inherently crap, but, truly, two days of mind-numbing stupidity in a row? Yesterday it was the worst photoshop ever, courtesy of the Daily Mirror.

Today it's the worst headline ever, courtesy of the Daily Star (no relation)...

JOEY SET TO PLAY A BIT BART IF FIT

Okay, I get that this is about how Joey Barton is now available for Newcastle, but what the hell does this headline mean? Every time I look at it I think I see "FART" and "BARF." But beyond that, this headline simply makes no sense. It's as though the pun machine was malfunctioning or something. Put it this way, I know that we in our collective wisdom could do much, much, much better.

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Your Ronaldo Tranny Hooker Update Of The Day

It's widely known that Brazilian soccer superstar Ronaldo was caught with some transvestite hookers recently. The exact circumstances of this encounter are not quite known. Ronaldo says he didn't know they were actually males and that they tried to extort him. The hookers, well, they first said there was sex that occurred and now they are "admitting" they lied about the situation...which led to this awesome headline...

Two of the three cross-dressing prostitutes involved in the scandal with Ronaldo have admitted lying about having sex and using drugs with the AC Milan striker.

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Two of the prostitutes have now withdrawn their allegations, volunteering the information to local police.

Police inspector Carlos Augusto Nogueira said: 'There was no drugs or sex that night.

'They said that they invented it all because they failed to receive the money they intended as extortion.'

Who knows if they really were lying or if Ronaldo's check finally cleared. I'm going to tend to believe that they were lying and Ronaldo's check cleared. The man has pulled some incredible tail over the years and I have no reason to think he would be into tranny hookers. Not that it really matters to me, except for the jokes.

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