Liveblog: SPL final day

I am crazy.

That's why I set my alarm for 7.30 on a rainy Sunday with the idea that I would somehow put together a liveblog of three different games, one of which is not even on TV. Oh, and that game that is not on TV? That's the only one I care about. Join me (or read about my descent into madness later) inside for updates on Aberdeen-Hibs, Celtic-Hearts and Dundee United-Rangers.

While we are waiting, perhaps you can suss out exactly who the mysterious "Club X" is that Soccernet is introducing to Division 3?



0.00 Kickoff, I have no feeds.

0.00 OK, I have the Celtic match, I think. It keeps switching.

4.00 Guy keeps switching in between the two matches. I hate him.

6.00 GOAL GOAL GOAL Everyone's favorite diver, Kyle Lafferty, oddly not suspended by the team for this match slides home a goal for Rangers. 0-1 Rangers.

9.00 Yellow Card. Dundee United's captain Lee Wilkie carded for dissent.

10.00 Nice to see Mr. Match Fit USA here. I had both streams going, then they died. Please hold.

14.00 Down to one stream again. Currently, it is Celtic-Hearts. No idea what is happening in Aberdeen.

15.00 Me too, Mr. Davis.

17.00 GOAL GOAL GOAL GOAL GOAL GOAL Lee Miller fires Aberdeen in front! 1-0, and Aberdeen have the inside track on the Europa League with United behind.

18.00 Okay, so the goal came 5 minutes ago. I'm doing the best I can without an actual video feed of the match.

18.00 I'll take it too, considering Hibs had the early shots in the first ten minutes, a fact I was in the process of discovering as the goal flashed across the screen.

21.00 United with a good effort there. Goodwillie had knocked down his man on an aerial challenge, then won the ball. His run into the box was impeded at the very last moment. And I've been switched back to Celtic.

23.00 Commentators there seem to be intimating that Hearts are in control of the match.

27.00 Celtic look indifferent. Back to United-Rangers

28.00 I must commend this pirate, his feed is very nice. Now if we can just find some more Rangers goals, though United have not looked very threatening.

30.00 A ridiculously bad clearance by the United keeper almost leads to an easy chance for Rangers.

31.00 It wasn't really threatening, but United almost curl in a corner. A lot of swerve on that one. Back to Celtic not caring.

32.00 And just like that, Hearts take a 30 yard shot and Boruc gives up a meaty rebound. Smothers it just before the visitors can get to it. Still 0-0

33.00 On the other end, off of a corner, Paul Hartley has a shot from 25 saved well. Get me off this game. With Rangers in front, this game has no meaning.

34.00 Celtic seem to have decided to play after all. McGeady ahd a run over the top of the box, passed to Nakamura who, from 12 yards out, was well saved. Resultant corner came to nothing. Back to Tannadice.

36.00 WSR--or it could even be Gretna2008, their spot is waiting for them.

38.00 David Goodwillie, Dundee United's playmaker on the pitch today, down with an injury. He limps off and will be okay.

39.00 SPL's leading scorer Kris Boyd, beats the keeper but not the guy on the line. Still 1-0.

41.00 Back to Celtic. Just in time to see one of them get knocked out like Martin Havlat. Back to Rangers.

43.00 Kris Boyd makes a meal out of an outstretched arm. No call, none deserved.

44.00 Edu gets slaughtered on the edge of the box. Free kick coming. Yellow card for some guy named Prince.

45.00 GOAL GOAL GOAL. Papac took the free kick which found traffic. It was cleared to Mendes who threaded it along the ground from 20 yards. 0-2 fucking Huns. I can't believe I'm excited for them.

TWEET TWEET TWEEEEEET Halftime everywhere. Rangers are in control of the title, and I could really use another Aberdeen goal. See you in 15.

Wow. Aberdeen seems to be running a couple of minutes behind. They got another one before the break, through the not-suspended Charlie Mulgrew to go up 2-0. But Derek Riordan pulled one back for Hibs, also in stoppage time. 2-1 at Pittodrie. I'm scared.

I must say, I'm kind of digging on the one feed switching back and forth. It's better than trying to pay attention to two feeds. (Plus, it's the only thing I can get that keeps running).

45.01 We're back in Dundee.

48.00 Stream's gone choppy. We'll see how long it lasts.

51.00 Sub coming in for United. Switch to Celtic. Must say that Edu really seems to have been a catalyst for Rangers run to a likely title. DMB, not so much.

53.00 GOAL GOAL GOAL GOAL Rangers up 3-0. Kris Boyd. I didn't see it. Title race over.

Rangers have done what Wolfsburg did yesterday, and that is to make sure that there was nothing to worry about at the end. Mon the Dons, we need another. United have lost for sure.

55.00 McGeady wide from eight yards. It doesn't matter.

So, Wee Gordon Strachan out, or what? Celtic had the title sewn up in January, then lost the plot. Is he done in Glasgow?

Back to Rangers. They are celebrating in the stands, and there is no reason not to.

58.00 All I can offer on Aberdeen-Hibs are some stats. Aberdeen have a decent possession edge 57-43, are outshooting Hibs 7-6 with a 6-3 edge on target. Corners are 8-1. That's all very nice, but I want a third goal.

Fun (maybe) Fact: The SPL will have the greatest percentage representation in Europe next season. 6 out of 12 SPL teams will feature in European competition. Rangers, Celtic, Hearts, and Falkirk are confirmed. There's still fourth place in league and a fair play award to be decided. Motherwell led the fair play choice at last check, and Aberdeen, with half an hour left, are in the last league position spot.

65.00 I'm just plain nervous now, and it's too early to drink.

67.00 Feed has switched back to Celtic. It's a tomb in there.

jjf3-nice to see you up this morning. I would not be surprised, simply because Strachan has never been a popular manager, even while bringing home three straight titles and a nice CL run last season. I do think McGeady got out of line and was punished. Unfortunately for Strachan, it was at just the wrong time. But a gaffer has to control his team no matter what the consequence.

As for the big whale deal--yes, you are correct. Celtic fans are currently salivating over the poor finances of Rangers not realizing that, if there is no Old Firm alliance (the extreme-Rangers fold), they will not be able to strong arm the league like they have for decades.

jjf3-Don't tempt me like that. I need a fucking goal.

74.00 Nothing really happening at Tannadice. Both teams are just walking out the season. This is one of those games where it is a disservice if the ref adds injury time to the second half.

75.00 It's a few minutes behind, but Hibs have a RED CARD Ian Murray gets it in the 69th. He had a yellow earlier, so I don't know if it's a second or a straight red. God, it is going to suck when Hibs get an equalizer.

I think I may go puke.

80.00 A helicopter is flying over Tannadice. The SPL trophy is inside. Rangers fans are ecstatic.

83.00 Bastard Lafferty comes off. Aberdeen fans will appreciate that he scored the first goal today, no matter what happened last week.

Yellow card for Aberdeen. Get a goal you bastards. (my language skills fall to shit under pressure)

89.00 Poor David Goodwille. He really put in a good effort today. Nothing to show for it. One minute stoppage.

90.00 Celtic still scoreless, I don't care.

FUCK YEAH! Aberdeen awarded a penalty!

Rangers are your champions. Booo. They beat Dundee United today. YAY!

87.00 That ain't right. Aluko missed the penalty. I'm going to be sick but am not leaving my chair.

89.00 Hibs have had a couple of yellows late. Hopefully they have given up on scoring and are just focused on getting sent off.

90.00 It is in stoppage time.

Rangers just lifted the trophy. Lucky them.

YYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Full Time in Aberdeen 2-1 final. Going to Europe! FUCK and YES.

LB is liveblogging the EPL's final day at 11 EDT. Stay tuned. I'm going to go pass out for an hour.