How will the bastard fix this one?Now that the CL Round of 16 is over and the dust has settled, we're ready for whatever's next. Platini can't have been happy that all 4 teams from that league he hates have made it through to the next round, which now gives him a week or two to figure out how to rig the draw.
We have a few ideas of our own after the jump. Who do you think will end up playing who?
Not surprisingly, we're all kinda envisioning some all-English clashes. Despite several efforts to figure out probabilities of 2 all-English QFs or no all-English QFs, I don't think we figured it out, so give us your best math professor impersonation in the comments. Sorry. We're just better at crass jokes.
Precious Roy:
Barca v. Porto
Bayern v. Villareal
Arsenal v. Chelsea (fixed)
Liverpool v. United (fixed)
Not bad. Entertainment with the Rafa/Fergie showdown, a London derby is always nice for ratings, while ze Germans get a soft draw and Barca get another plaything to bat around before advancing.
Spectator:
United v Porto
Barca v. Bayern
Arsenal v. Liverpool
Villareal v. Chelsea
Far more cynical, although the odds of United and Spartak getting the soft draw is rather high. Happens all the fucking time, oh, and with a Gooner/Scouse tilt, we'd be able to spend the week prior arguing over 500+ emails about the games. Get in.
The Fan's Attic:
United v. Bayern
Chelsea v. Arsenal
Liverpool v. Porto
Villareal v. Barca
Magic! A soft draw for the Scouse, United and Arsenal both mired in tough games, and a little La Liga reunion for the remaining Spaniards. The scoreboards shall all be festooned with 1s and 0s.
Autoglass:
Barca v. Porto
Bayern v. Villareal
Arsenal v. United
Liverpool v. Chelsea
The Blues fan envisions another go-round of the LFC/CFC bullshit that's bored the masses the last 4 years running. Meanwhile, Arsenal kiss goodbye to their CL hopes, and the other two promise to be walkovers.
Ian:
Arsenal v. Bayern
Chelsea v. Liverpool
United v. Villareal
Barca v. Porto
Fergie would shit his pants at this draw. They love running the score up on Villareal, while all their biggest competition will invariably scrap the other matches to death, leaving him to defeat the pallid remains. HOPE THIS DOES NOT HAPPEN.
u75:
Bayern v. Liverpool
Chelsea v. Villareal
Porto v. Barcelona
United v. Arsenal
This outcome would make Georger's head explode. Who would he root for?
The NY Kid:
Arsenal v. Porto
Chelsea v. Liverpool
United v. Bayern
Barcelona v. Villareal
Christ, can everyone stop predicting Chelsea/Liverpool? Oh, and it figures he gives his team the easiest draw.
Lingering Bursitis:
Chelsea v. LFC
Arsenal v. Barcelona
Porto v. Bayern
United v. Villareal
Doomsday. The Arse/Barca would be good for a few goals (reckon Arsenal would win that one, ultimately), the Germans are safe, United are safe, and I get to relive my recurring nightmare of John Arne Riise and his awful, awful header.
The Likely Lad
Arsenal v. Chelsea
Man. U. v. Bayern
Liverpool v. Villareal
Barca v. Porto
This is more my dream draw than any real prediction. Arsenal/Chelsea would be like the Iran/Iraq war, we could just root for carnage. The Man. U. matchup with Bayern would be fun a)cos either Man U. or the krauts would be knocked out and b)cos we'll get to see all the old school footage from the 99 CL final. Liverpool will dickstomp Villareal, allowing me to crow on about how the Rojos should just pack up and play their league ball in Spain. And finally, I want Barca to win this bitch, and while Porto are no walkovers, I think it's a good matchup. Fin.
Thoughts from y'all? The commenter who gets the most correct will win something. A soccer book or somethin'.
Oh, and it figures he gives his team the easiest draw.
ReplyDeleteHey, it's not my fault that I figured out I should just pay off Platini.
I predicted Ian's draw last night, just because we all know that Liverpool and Chelsea are going to face off, and I'm a blatent United homer.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite UF posts are the ones that involved absolutely zero percent brainpower -- guess the odds of a random event! That said, we all expended vast amounts of gray matter last trying to figure out the odds of two England teams getting paired up. Despite having at least one doctorate amongst us, I still don't think we calculated it accurately. (My excuse is that I took stats a million years ago, although I proudly made it through all of this book last year!)
ReplyDeleteThis prediction was selected via drawing lots, which means it is less likely to happen in real life because there is no randomness to this process.
ReplyDeleteArsenal v. Barcelona
Villareal v. Man Utd
Chelsea v. FC Porto
Liverpool v. Bayern Munich
Oh and yes this also assumes that the event in question really is random and that Platini won't be employing Patrick Ewing-esque frozen ping pong balls.
ReplyDeleteno randomness to this process
ReplyDeleteWhat I meant to say is to the ACTUAL selection process. I do not believe it is left to chance.
I'm pretty sure that I got the odds of 1 "All-England" match correct at 37.5%.
ReplyDeleteBut fuck me if I could do the other 2.
I'm sticking with my figures of 43% for one all-England match and 8.6% for two all-England matches.
ReplyDeletewe actually HAVE narrowed it down right here. i mean, what are the odds any of us got it exactly right? slim to none. so if none of the matchups (taken entire) listed here are going to happen, we now have a better idea of the true results. Autoglass, you MIT grad, tell them I'm right.
ReplyDeleteVillareal v. Arsenal
ReplyDeleteMan. U. v. Bayern
Porto v. Chelsea
Barca v. Liverpool
no all-England matches, and only one hosted in England. Because Platini loves the EPL so very, very much
ManU - Villareal
ReplyDeletePorto - Barca
Bayern - Atletico Mersey
Chelsea - Arsenal
It's more or less inevitable that we'll get Chelsea-Liverpool ad nauseam, though. Now with even LESS fun for everyone...
"(reckon Arsenal would win that one, ultimately)"
ReplyDeletethere is no way this Arsenal team beat this Barca.
im thinking
Arsenal - Bayern
Barca - Chelsea
Porto - Man U
Villarreal - pool
and I love this blog to bits, but out with all the EPL teams :p
Honestly, I think that unless we draw Porto or Villareal, the Arse are probably not advancing
ReplyDeleteBarca - Chelsea
ReplyDeleteArsenal - Man U
Bayern - Porto
Liverpool - Villareal
I predicted correctly only 1 of the 8 matches last round, so none of these matches will occur.
Not so sure Joep.
ReplyDeleteValdes is a sieve and the defense has proved to be vulnerable if you go right at them.
Sure, they score goals, but with Eduardo, RvP, and probably Adebayor, the Arse should be able to score as well.
Don't like the idea of stopping Messi, Eto'o, but I don't see Barca as I did a couple of weeks ago.
Roy, there's one enormous difference between Barca now and a couple of weeks ago. It's not very tall and very possibly a vampire.
ReplyDeleteI recreated the actual draw since I am sitting in a hotel room and have nothing better to do. I tried this for the round of 16 and got none right, so take it for what you will.
ReplyDeleteArsenal-Liverpool
Porto-Villareal
Bayern-Barca
ManU-Chelsea
The only upshot of this would be at least we lose one of either ManU or Chelsea. Then again, I don't think my Gunners would make it through.
No problem Joep, just make sure Arsenal some how wrangle an midday kick off.
ReplyDeleteNot that you care by now, but I figured the breakdown of all-English matchup probabilities to be as follows (by shuffling the teams into matchups and reiterating that process 10,000 times):
ReplyDelete0 all-English matches = 23.1%
1 all-English match = 68.3%
2 all-English matches = 8.6%
This is assuming the draw is random, which is of course not the case. So, I'm calling it as:
Liverpool-Arsenal
Chelsea-Porto
ManU-Villareal
Bayern-Barca
My scientific, drawn out of a hat* results:
ReplyDeleteBayern-Barca
Porto-Man U
Chelsea-Liverpool
Villareal-Arsenal
Wow, that's just about the worst draw I could have imagined.
*no hats were actually involved in the draw
Nothing more than a random guess supported by a belief that all of these things are rigged:
ReplyDeleteChelsea-ManU
Arsenal-Barca
Bayern-Porto
Liverpool-Villareal
Now, if this goes anything like the last 16, I'll read the announced match-ups and they will ALL sound just like what I predicted...except my memory will be shite...