Saturday Open Thread: This is Fergie's world

It's all smiles at Old Trafford. Bastards.

To the surprise of no-one: I'm sick of United.

It's been like this for as long as I can remember, but after the recent failures of my team, coupled with Man U's seeming invincibility, the loathing has intensified. I didn't think such a thing was possible. There's 25+ years of hate there already!

I must stand back and express amazement that as of today, United could still win a quintuple, a remarkable feat, but thankfully, even the ringmaster himself doesn't think it's possible.

"It would be very difficult to do that. You would need the luck and you would need to keep all your players fit. If we keep everyone fit then, yes, we'd have a chance. When you're in a competition, you've got to try to win it and, as long as you're still in that competition, you've got a chance. What we have done well recently is that we've had a lot of injuries but the squad has compensated and whatever team I have picked the players have just got on with it. But, realistically, I don't see it."

Well that's a relief. He's sold what's left of his soul just to get this far, but just the fact that such a thing is even remotely possible just angers us all further, not to mention Fergie picking up his 22nd Manager of the Month trophy.

They tussle with West Ham tomorrow, and I'll be praying that Mr. Carlton Cole, aka Can't Control, can dent their juggernaut. Oh, and there's a North London derby or something. I believe preparations are being made for a liveblog there, courtesy of our resident heroin-loving Spurs fan (he's not addicted, but it does take the edge off the fact that Spurs have spent untold millions basically reassembling the squad that failed miserably under both Ramos and the final days of Martin Jol).

But enough about tomorrows! Today, it's all about watching Liverpool, Spartak and Villa struggle, and if you're up early enough (I wrote this ahead of time under the assumption I'd still be dead to the world at 7am), you might get to enjoy Citeh sabotaging themselves again. Robinho alone doth not a Champions League berth make, apparently.

Fixtures and dreadful predictions after the jump. Pray for Rafa's mental health, won't you?

7.45am kick-off
Manchester Citeh v. Middlesbrough
They can't mess this one up, can they? Citeh 2-1.

10am kick-offs:
Blackburn v. Aston Villa
The own goal has been kind to Martin O'Neill over the last month. Not today! 1-1.

Spartak London v. Hull City
Spartak are about as dull as The English Patient at the moment. I'd expect them to right things, although it won't be easy. Spartak 1-0.

Everton v. Stupid F*cking Bolton
The Toffee bastards must be exhausted from 120 minutes on Wednesday, not to mention they have no squad depth whatsoever. 0-0.

Sunderland v. Stoke
You cannot stop Kenwyne Jones, you can only hope to contain. Sunderland 2-0.

West Brom v. Newcastle
homewinhomewinhomewinhomewin. West Brom 2-1.

Wigan v. Fulham
Steve Bruce does a lot with a little. Fulham do little with a lot. Wigan 3-1.

12.30pm kick-off:
Portsmouth v. Liverpool
Oh god, please not another draw. My sanity cannot handle it. Fratton Park is kind to teams in crisis. Liverpool 1-0.