Better Than A Sharp Stick In The Eye

In England there is position in the club called a boot boy. No, this isn't the poor intern that has to follow around the first-teamers to the clubs and clean up their vomit. It's actually a position that involves wearing kneepads and always carrying a big bottle of lube.

Young lads that train on the club's youth teams are assigned to a player, ostensibly to clean their boots but I'm sure it involves more things like making up alibis for when the footballers are out with their mistresses, gathering up the whores and generally being the bitch of player. Otherwise known as an intern.

Olivier Kapo, midfielder for recently relegated Birmingham City, has a lackey bootboy and as reward for servicing Kapo, James McPike received more than a poke in the eye. Kapo flipped James the keys to his $60,000 Mercedes.

A club source said James, who signed a professional contract with Birmingham City on his 17th birthday, had asked Kapo for a pair of boots to mark the end of the season.

"He was obviously disappointed when Kapo replied he had taken them home with him," the source said. "He perked up considerably when he was tossed a set of keys."

To further insure he had servant for next year, Kapo then paid for a year's worth of insurance since McPike couldn't afford it. It is believed this is the biggest gift ever to a bootboy.

[Photo Credit: Daily Mail]