German Humans Not the Only Ones Sucking At Futbol

In an impressive display of national unity, a catfish decided to symbolically show its support for the German national team... by sucking.

And this being a catfish, it cost him his life.

A catfish was found dead in a Bavarian canal having choked to death on a soccer ball. The 6-and-a-half-foot-long fish was floating lifeless on the surface with a blew blue and white soccer ball lodged in it mouth.

Police first responded, "Holy shit, that's a huge fucking catfish," then settled down to release the following more prosaic statement:

"Whether the fish was caught up in soccer ball fever in the aftermath of the European championship and hence snapped at the ball can unfortunately not be determined," police said in a statement.

German humor, only slight less bad than the German National Team's recent performances in the finals of major tournaments.