Saturday, February 7, 2009

Saturday Open Thread: This is Fergie's world

It's all smiles at Old Trafford. Bastards.

To the surprise of no-one: I'm sick of United.

It's been like this for as long as I can remember, but after the recent failures of my team, coupled with Man U's seeming invincibility, the loathing has intensified. I didn't think such a thing was possible. There's 25+ years of hate there already!

I must stand back and express amazement that as of today, United could still win a quintuple, a remarkable feat, but thankfully, even the ringmaster himself doesn't think it's possible.
"It would be very difficult to do that. You would need the luck and you would need to keep all your players fit. If we keep everyone fit then, yes, we'd have a chance. When you're in a competition, you've got to try to win it and, as long as you're still in that competition, you've got a chance. What we have done well recently is that we've had a lot of injuries but the squad has compensated and whatever team I have picked the players have just got on with it. But, realistically, I don't see it."
Well that's a relief. He's sold what's left of his soul just to get this far, but just the fact that such a thing is even remotely possible just angers us all further, not to mention Fergie picking up his 22nd Manager of the Month trophy.

They tussle with West Ham tomorrow, and I'll be praying that Mr. Carlton Cole, aka Can't Control, can dent their juggernaut. Oh, and there's a North London derby or something. I believe preparations are being made for a liveblog there, courtesy of our resident heroin-loving Spurs fan (he's not addicted, but it does take the edge off the fact that Spurs have spent untold millions basically reassembling the squad that failed miserably under both Ramos and the final days of Martin Jol).

But enough about tomorrows! Today, it's all about watching Liverpool, Spartak and Villa struggle, and if you're up early enough (I wrote this ahead of time under the assumption I'd still be dead to the world at 7am), you might get to enjoy Citeh sabotaging themselves again. Robinho alone doth not a Champions League berth make, apparently.

Fixtures and dreadful predictions after the jump. Pray for Rafa's mental health, won't you?

7.45am kick-off
Manchester Citeh v. Middlesbrough
They can't mess this one up, can they? Citeh 2-1.

10am kick-offs:
Blackburn v. Aston Villa
The own goal has been kind to Martin O'Neill over the last month. Not today! 1-1.

Spartak London v. Hull City
Spartak are about as dull as The English Patient at the moment. I'd expect them to right things, although it won't be easy. Spartak 1-0.

Everton v. Stupid F*cking Bolton
The Toffee bastards must be exhausted from 120 minutes on Wednesday, not to mention they have no squad depth whatsoever. 0-0.

Sunderland v. Stoke
You cannot stop Kenwyne Jones, you can only hope to contain. Sunderland 2-0.

West Brom v. Newcastle
homewinhomewinhomewinhomewin. West Brom 2-1.

Wigan v. Fulham
Steve Bruce does a lot with a little. Fulham do little with a lot. Wigan 3-1.

12.30pm kick-off:
Portsmouth v. Liverpool
Oh god, please not another draw. My sanity cannot handle it. Fratton Park is kind to teams in crisis. Liverpool 1-0.

152 comments:

BurgerBrother said...

just woke up to see my new fantasy acquisition, Craig Bellamy - provide the goods. So far, so good.

Hoping for a 4-0 Liverpool win with a) a Benayoun hat trick and b) Tony Adams fired post-match and replaced by Avram Grant...

chances of a) and b) are clearly higher than c) an enduring peace with palestinians

hey, an Israeli can dream.

Jacob said...

Aberdeen-East Fife cup match called off because of snow. Yawn. These games blow.

Jacob said...

Instead, I'll provide links.
Tevez has his $225K-ish car impounded because he never got a full UK license.

Precious Roy said...

Just woke up to see my new fantasy aquisitions of Robinho, de Jong, and Ireland not do a damn thing. Although Given got the CS (hey, Citeh plays twice, it was worth a shot).

BurgerBrother said...

de jong with the assist I think on bellamy's goal...

that city bunch are just so inconsistent.

blackburn - a. villa here and I took a draw on sportsbook.com for the best odds. come on you benny mccarthy.

Spectator said...

West Brom v. Newcastle is 1-1.... In the 5th minute.

BurgerBrother said...

2-1 Newcastle. WBA are surely going down.

Spectator said...

Holy shit, 2-1 Newcastle... 8th minute.

Jim Hendry said...

And Paul Robinson just punches out his own defender's lights. Night night, Mr. Samba.

BurgerBrother said...

any news on the gypsy Quaresma?

phil said...

You watch Robbo play now and you wonder "How was this imbecile evr England's number 1?" He has fallen so far in just one or two seasons.

Spectator said...

Quaresma starting... so far had a handball in the opposing penalty box and a blatant dive.

Jim Hendry said...

Phil: I think goalkeepers are more afflicted by confidence crises than anyone else on the pitch. Their job relies on it more than most. He's just not with it.

phil said...

And he just shanked one in space from the left side. Forced a corner, but not a well-struck ball, at all.

phil said...

I'd agree with that to an extent, JT. But Robbo just looks lost between the sticks. Does things he never would have done in 2004 or 2005. I'm hesitant to chalk that all up to a drop in confidence, especially since it doesn't seem to be improving.

Spectator said...

Aston Villa make it look so easy

Jim Hendry said...

Milner scores for Villa... 1-0 there.


Phil: well, there's also the thinking that a goalie is only as good as his defense. The fact that Blackburn let anyone through on goal is going to make him look a lot worse than he might otherwise be. Then again, goalkeeping is a 50/50 game altogether. You either save it, or you don't.

Moving to a worse team was a bad move.

phil said...

That's true, JT, and Spurs didn't do a lot last season to help him out either.

If Keith is around, I'd like to know what it feels like to cheer on a team that can actually score off corners. Villa are really on their game this season.

phil said...

Ballack really calling up some of the old magic on that free kick. Wow.

Jim Hendry said...

Keith is too busy engaging in Villatio. Yep, we have Hullatio and Villatio.

Jim Hendry said...

Stoke forced to use all 3 of their subs within half an hour. You have to fancy Sunderland to push on and win that one.

BurgerBrother said...

JT -

At least Fuller is one of the three to go off, so Andy Griffin's injury status looks safe for the final 60 mins,

Precious Roy said...

Apparently Benni McCarthy doubles as a tree.

BurgerBrother said...

steve " don't call me ryan" taylor with the newcastle goal. 3-1 now.

phil said...

Zayette just took a ball right to the pills. I have serious sympathy pain going on.

Precious Roy said...

Also... because so few people have GolTv or care about the SA U-20s. This is pretty awesome.

http://www.101greatgoals.com/videodisplay/2059935/

phil said...

Arteta (from the spot) puts Everton up 1-0 on SF Bolton.

phil said...

All I can say about that, PR, is "holy shit." And that applies both to the pass and the atrocious defense.

BurgerBrother said...

it's time to talk freely and openly about my love affair with proactiv's proven three step system.

Adam said...

Did you know you can talk about your love of proactiv for pennies a minute with penny talk?

Spectator said...

While you get on up, and get on out to h00ters!

Spectator said...

That was probably the warmest welcome that Diouf has ever gotten in his life.

BurgerBrother said...

spectator -

and he looks lively. come on blackburn.

Spectator said...

Diouf and Fat Sam are a match made in heaven!

I loved the shot of the Villa supporters dressed up as a chicken and elephant, without comment or explanation.

Spectator said...

Jo scores on his debut for Everton

BurgerBrother said...

spectator -

no clue. a chicken and elephant in the crowd, and a manager chewing gum like a cow on the sideline. welcome to the ewood park zoo.

phil said...

The liveblog fellow at yahoo seems to think Jo's goal was something special.

BurgerBrother said...

does scolari get the sack if hull grab a late winner?

phil said...

DAMN! I was sure Marney had that. Pushed it juuuuust wide.

jjf3 said...

Top o' the morning, UF. Switching between Rovers getting thoroughly outplayed by Villa, and Chelsea playing like shite. Though the ref missed a blatant hand-ball in the box by Hull about 10 minutes ago...

jjf3 said...

dammit Roque!

phil said...

Phil Brown inexplicably subs for Giovanni on 80', in a nil-nil match.

phil said...

WBA pull one back on Toons.

Precious Roy said...

Okay, if Villa can hook people down in the box, then they ain't leaving the top 4.

Even better my fantasy striker gets the yellow, when his teammate gets fouled. Nice.

phil said...

Chelsea really applying some pressure now...

Spectator said...

Jesus that was high comedy on the second Villa goal.

jjf3 said...

game over. Villa on the deflection

Precious Roy said...

And another OG for Villa.

phil said...

Jones pulls Sunderland ahead.

@ PR, that's the second time today Villa have gotten away with some rough stuff in the box.

Precious Roy said...

Eh, they outplayed Blackburn—who, is it me or do they collectively have the worst first-touch in all the Prem?

They were the better side, but they seemingly get break after break after non-call after call after deflection.

Precious Roy said...

"They" meaning "Villa."

phil said...

My God, that was some awful defending by Warnock.

Spectator said...

It all evened out with waving off the Heskey goal in the first half. Villa are destined to get as high as third this season... Everything is going right for them, especially on the road.

Spectator said...

Those Hooters girls scare me

phil said...

Time for some Hullatio. They did very well to roll into the Bridge and steal a point. How short is Scolari's rope now?

Adam said...

Scolari's rope is around his neck, one more loss and hes gone. I'm confident that the only way Arsenal get a CL spot is by taking Chelsea out.

phil said...

Jones notches a brace to ensure a Sunderland win. Everything fell right today for Spurs to get well clear of the zone, so long as they don't entirely shit the bed tomorrow.

phil said...

Scratch that. Jones did not notch a brace. Healy was credited with the second.

phil said...

Jo converts on Everton's second penalty of the day.

Spectator said...

Wow, Liverpool playing a 3-4-1-2 with Ngog and Babel up front. That's, uh, unexpected.

phil said...

No Torres?!?!

Jacob said...

So scared of a Torres injury that he's not playing. Awesome.

BackBergtt said...

Torres was clearly not 100% last game, and by benching him he has a better shot of getting Spain to not select him.

He made the right call by sitting him and Alonso.

Playing five defenders however ...

Precious Roy said...

Rafa, tempting fate.

phil said...

This formation might be just odd enough to throw Pompey off.

Georger, I just hope of your lot nutmegs S*l.

BackBergtt said...

Nice little start. In theory they have some incredible crossing in the 'midfield' and Ngog has been on fire for the reserves recently.

BackBergtt said...

Pompey have the bad guy from Raiders of the Lost Ark?

BackBergtt said...

ohhhhh yossi

phil said...

VERY good chance for Benayoun, but he slipped.

BackBergtt said...

call me crazy but this is some of the most free flowing passing ive seen from them this year

Precious Roy said...

Well put, NYK. But at this point, I think it's more about catching Chelsea. Still have a 6-pointer at home.

BackBergtt said...

Good christ that had James beat. So close.

Not sure what this announcer is talking about, I can't remember Torres ever taking a free kick for pool.

phil said...

Pompey's giving them a lot of space, Georger, but I'd agree that they are passing very well.

Wow, James did not move one inch on the kick. Pompey lucky not to concede there.

Precious Roy said...

And Mike... More fuel to fire the argument that their dependence on Gerrard might be holding them back.

BackBergtt said...

I still insist they would be better off playing Babel in the CF role Gerrard has been playing, and sticking Stevie on the right.

I'd say more the lack of Kuyt is what is making a difference.

BackBergtt said...

Killer movement from Babel and Ngog there, Fabio .... not so much

phil said...

Good God. Seems everytime Dossena gets forward, he is either dispossessed or hoofs it too long.

Jim Hendry said...

Hey, desperate times, desperate measures, right? At least Rafa is making the effort to innovate.

Precious Roy said...

Stevie would never go for that. Isn't that the problem with the nat'l team? That he and Frank want to occupy the same space and neither of them want to move to give the other room to operate?

BackBergtt said...

That, and England sucks.

When did Macherano learn to shoot?

Jim Hendry said...

Suddenly we go from no width to having tons of width with just about every wing-back we have playing at the same time! It's so crazy, it just might work.

Great save by James to deny Mascherano.

PR: the problem with the nat'l team is that both Gerrard and Lampard appear to play the same role -- the classic box-to-boz midfielder who does everything. Considering that most countries play a system whereby one central MF does that and the other plays a deeper, strictly defensive role, having two "liberos" just doesn't work. Their natural instincts for the ball mean they just end up getting in each other's way.

BackBergtt said...

This is fucking nuts, it's like a pickup game, defenders are playing as strikers. One of the more entertaining performances this season that's for damn certain.

BackBergtt said...

Rene Belach is down!

Jim Hendry said...

Georger: yeah, tons of space for both sides to roam freely.

Jacob said...

Why do I get the feeling that Liverpool will not score? They don't have Torres out there to create a goal, and none of the midfield will demand respect from Pompey with an outside shot like Gerrard would. Simply put, these two up top are not going to break thorough because it will be too tight.

No matter how much width is out there, natch.

Jacob said...

Alright, I'm going back to Ireland-France.

BackBergtt said...

Glen Johnson is black? Who the hell have I been mistaking for him the last five years?

Jim Hendry said...

u75: they will score. The width is the hardest part. Get crosses in, and shit will happen. Ngog is strong when under pressure, and check out Torres warming up also!

phil said...

Nugent seems to be a creative little player up front.

EbullientFatalist said...

Could we start a "Glen Johnson All-Stars" for black players with white names, a la Reggie Cleveland?

So, N'Gog gets the start. I suspected as much.

Jim Hendry said...

Whoa, Peter Crouch is playing against his old club? I had no idea! I suggest FSC belabor the point for the entire second half as well.

Precious Roy said...

Phil: Just popped into Fearon's. No go. Earliest I could get her to was 8:15. Plus it's a fucking zoo in there right now with the Six Nations. We'd be banished to the back TV once the rugby fans showed up in full force. So, either the Globe or Ginger's. I'm on my way to get drunk. Feel free to call or text later.

Adam said...

Georger, I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought he was white.

EbullientFatalist said...

Wow, they just panned over the crowd and Fratton Park looks like an internment camp.

phil said...

Georger, had the exact same reaction when I saw him on the throw-in. I don't know who I had been thinking was Glen Johnson, but it was not Glen Johnson.

Adam said...

Hooters makes you happy, just remember that everyone. Bring your kids to the restaraunt that features girls in skimpy outfits

EbullientFatalist said...

I'm watching a South African feed and they're calling the football "soccer." I'm so confused.

They also just had a wonderfully comedic commercial hyping the Portuguese league.

phil said...

Oof. Babel can't gather himself in front and just botches a perfect chance.

EbullientFatalist said...

Babel misses an absolute sitter. Terrible. Looks like Pool will be battling Villa for the automatic CL spot.

The NY Kid said...

oops.

EbullientFatalist said...

David Nugent with the finish. Wow. Liverpool, Arsenal would like to welcome you to a season of underperforming.

EbullientFatalist said...

I think Georger's head just exploded.

BurgerBrother said...

benayoun the only bright spot here. torres is needed ASAP.

BackBergtt said...

Jesus christ.

Well Babel just punched his ticket out that's for sure.

BackBergtt said...

I understand not playing Torres because he wasn't fit, that was the right call based on Wednesday. But if you aren't even going to consider using him when you're a goal down, don't waste the bench spot.

EbullientFatalist said...

@Ibra: yeah, Benayoun has been good today, arguably the best player out there. Makes you wonder why Rafa doesn't use him more often.

Xabi on for Dossena. I guess.

Crouch is fucking nuts for that backpass; now we get to see one of the more interesting freekick situations.

The Fan's Attic said...

back square on a weird indirect kick in the box. i don't know if i have ever seen a goal scored from one of those in EPL play.

EbullientFatalist said...

Aurelio somehow, SOMEHOW, finds the back of the net. This is what Pool needs, right? A stroke of luck.

Spectator said...

Liverpool saved by Crouch and Calamity James, huh?

BackBergtt said...

Stream jumped from before the goal to Fabio's slow mo celebration

Jim Hendry said...

kuyt was onside

EbullientFatalist said...

Sloth with the goal, but it's offside. Of course it is.

Torres comes on for Babel. Na na na na na na na na ...

EbullientFatalist said...

@JT: yeah, looked close. The replay I saw was from a shit angle, so I can't be certain.

The NY Kid said...

kuyt looked on to me.

oh boy.

BackBergtt said...

Wow

Rafa out

Spectator said...

"And they call him the Terminator, and he may've just terminated Liverpool's title chances."

EbullientFatalist said...

2-1, Pompey.

phil said...

HUGE mistake by Reina.

The NY Kid said...

not sure about stopping it, but reina should have done better

EbullientFatalist said...

It was a good header, though, but Herreiedderson, bouncing it in front of the net.

phil said...

This is where Kuyt has one bounce off his hip for some improbable angle to equalize.

The Fan's Attic said...

reina should have done better on both goals.

babel should have scored and the whole match tenor would have changed.

fuck.

so long title chances.

The NY Kid said...

what a blunder by distin.

EbullientFatalist said...

KUYT!!!

Spectator said...

James barely moved on that Kuyt goal

The Fan's Attic said...

phil you're prescient! kuyt equalizes.

phil said...

Awful mistake by Popmpey!

Did I call it or what with Kuyt?!?!? That was an impossible angle. Impossible.

BackBergtt said...

and i miss another goal DAMN YOU IRAQ

The Fan's Attic said...

iraqgoals works just fine for me.

EbullientFatalist said...

How is this game a 2-2 draw right now? Neither team could do fuckall right until an hour in, and then they both forgot how to defend.

EbullientFatalist said...

I kinda wish we'd invade Iran, y'know, for their goals and such.

Jacob said...

Webby got that one wrong. Hreidarrson is right to give him hell.

Jacob said...

Pool fans are lucky to have Kuyt, aren't they?

Spectator said...

Lucky, lucky Rafa

The NY Kid said...

his armband said he was a red!

Jacob said...

Poor Tony Adams. Goodbye.

EbullientFatalist said...

TORRES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jacob said...

Lucky, lucky Reina.

Anonymous said...

I fucking love that man.

Eat it, Calamity.

BackBergtt said...

hahahaha wow

EbullientFatalist said...

Just awful, awful defending on Pompey's part. Not James' fault, not Adams' fault.

The Fan's Attic said...

Torres!!!

Spectator said...

Wow, what a game!

Jacob said...

Sol, put your hand down and defend. Maybe you would have had a point.

EbullientFatalist said...

The last half-hour witnessed some of the sloppiest defending I'd ever seen, by both clubs.

Pompey should apologize to Adams for their shitty display.

But Torres . . . wow. Is this the game Pool needed to resume a title challenge?

phil said...

Awful defense by Pompey to close this one out, but a good win by 'Pool.

BackBergtt said...

What a game.

phil said...

Too much has gone Spurs' way today. We're almost assured of getting our ass handed to us tomorrow.

The Fan's Attic said...

to be fair, it didn't seem like either team was too interested in playing defense all day.

Jim Hendry said...

FERRRNNNNAAAANDO TORRES
LIVERPOOL'S NUMBER NINE

The Fan's Attic said...

i didn't realize the bottom five teams all lost today. that might provide the separation people need.

phil said...

Yeah, TFA, everything broke exactly the way Spurs needed it to break. Now all we have to do is beat l'Arse. We're doomed.